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evaluation
In order to create an idea that is conceptually strong and engaging to the audience. It’s crucial to learn and understand the key fundamentals of story creation. These of which were themes, stories and genres that had been summed up by author Philip Parker, it allowed us to understand the true definitions and how they connect to each other through the three acts (Syd field 1984), known as exposition, conflict and resolution that all classic narratives follow.
By using the knowledge obtained from the lectures that followed Philip Parkers understanding of film concepts, we were required to use this to generate a strong idea that could work for a short film lasting 5-10 minutes.
Brain-storming the idea consisted of selected themes that I particularly enjoyed the most and what I felt would be much more captivating to the audience. The following themes I decided to focus on were “Injustice” “Desire for Order or truth” and “The pursuit of self-validation”. All of which involves the character to deal with personal conflict and over-come either themselves or the world around them. This made me come up with the idea about self-validation about a character who may appear threatening from the exterior that has caused them to be isolated from others, however they want to change this as they are more than what they look. With self-validation he would then be able to break out of isolation and therefore be accepted into his society. Other stories that I’ve created followed the same narrative, “A girl is cursed by her mother’s spirit and is unwilling to let go and therefore controls her”. However with these stories, I felt like they were cliché and finding a resolution may be hard.
After research on Paul Wells and his articles about symbolism and metaphors, I then start to think about how characters may not necessarily need to be a person, that they could perhaps be an inanimate object in which could be the protagonist,, that perhaps the world could be a character who is an external force to the protagonist. I found that this was quite similar to how society can be today in certain aspects, whether we like to be aware of it or not. We as citizens are quite helpless and can feel controlled when major negative changes are happening in the world and we are unable to make a strong positive difference. By connecting today’s society with exaggerated antagonists, I would be able to create a world that is mundane, dull and emotionless. After several drafts and help from my peers this helped me come up with an idea that I worked.
“A violin awakens in a black and white world futuristic world with people who are controlled by a “system” and their freedom being taken away, they are brain-washed to believe the money and success are the way to evolve. The violin and its’ bow that this is wrong and wants to make a difference, she uses her traits (her passion for music) to change people’s hearts and for them to realise that having fun and leisure is okay. Her side-kick, the gramophone comes to life and goes to the centre of town with her, plays music together until the tallest building known as the system awakens, and it then alerts the crowds of people to confiscate her prized possession. Saddened by this, she then attempts to find her partner in a scrap yard shop, who she then finds other instruments that could help her break the system. They then climb on top of the system building, sing and play music on the top of their voices. Spreading both music and colour to the world”
I was very much inspired by the visual style and concept from the Pixar short inner workings, which focuses on a man who goes to work every-day, disconnecting himself from the happy and outgoing world to a workplace that’s very robotic and emotionless.
The system character in my story is inspired by the book 1984, a novel that focuses on a futuristic world where citizens are under heavily surveillance and controlled by bringing this inspirations together to form the message that I want to put across to the audience is that.
The message that I want to put across to the audience is that “By having the passion and will to change the world, having one voice may not be enough. However by coming together with a group of people, the voices will therefore be heard.”
After writing the plot out, I began to build the story together by identifying the genre and its’ story, finding it’s’ connections to the theme. I found that a personal conflict is evident as the protagonist’s has the desire to escape this world, in which they try and bring happiness into it, however this fails and realises that not all things can be done solo but in a group which allows them to work together and changes the world. The story is very much the gift being taken away, we watch as the character mourns but becomes stronger as they find the power to bring them back and is able to bring colour to themselves through the power of friendship.
However, the story was not always about a violin as it was originally about a girl from the 1970’s who woke up in this world and had a gramophone as a side-kick, following the same acts and narrative.
So at its’ earlier stage feedback that I received for the story pitch was generally positive, as the character is seen to be strong willed and positive and is exposed into a world that reflects our current society and that music was a good plot device to lure the audience into the musical journey that can change the world. The most helpful feedback was to change the side-kick to something a bit more related, perhaps have something that is more tangible compared to a gramophone. In which I have exchanged for a violin, something that is small, curvy and has a counterpart in order to play (the bow).
I was asked a few questions during my feedback and had made me realise more about the world, about which parts I would exaggerate that would make the contrast stronger between the character and the world. I was asked how I would be able to portray success and money in a bad light and how what they look compared to humans. I decided to go for a much more futuristic approach and made research about the negative impacts of success and money and change the concept of the citizens into robotic humans with angular shapes. While doing this, I began to think about the environment and how I would be able to capture the dark and evilness and put this into contrast to the pure character that will change all of this. Another strong question that was asked from my tutor was, why is the girl there? It wasn’t until then that I realised that the violin has the exact same characteristics as the girl. Strong willed, musical and wanting to change the world. This caused me to re-write the story, replacing the girl with the violin. So instead of the girl losing the violin, the violin could lose its’ bow. This is a strong reference to the idea of anthropometrism (Paul Wells 1998), as the violin is being given the same human characteristics as the girl did in the previous draft of the story.
Happy with the feedback I have taken, along with the adjustments made to the story I was motivated and looking forward to creating this into an animatic.
The hardest parts I found during the creation of this module was not the story-creating, I believe it was how I executed it, especially with how the acts were introduced. At times when I was working on the animatic I felt lost finding the transition between the acts as these frames were blank-fillers. In which has made me wished I worked the key-frames better with act 1, act 2 and act 3. I do feel like the beginning and end worked well but I was missing a dramatic effect between the world and the protagonist. Which many agreed in the feedback I received. Act 2 was the weakest act as it was hard to tell if the bow was dead or just taken away, I also feel like there wasn’t enough conflict or drama , this might be due to because the system character wasn’t well developed or translated well from the story to the animatic.
I admit, I felt like I was being a bit over ambitious with the world development and trying to allow the main characters to have room to breathe, again I feel like it was translated incorrectly
Despite these flaws, the animatic has been somewhat successful in my eyes. I was able to bring these instruments to life through anthropometrism and bring a metaphorical meaning into my work as we see the violin progress as a character, it produces music but not enough to change its’ surroundings and not enough to make it have its’ own kind of life as it continues to remain black and white. However with friends, they provide a power to all of them as they whisk through the city with their musical powers, enough to bring him to rescue his friend. It goes back to the meaning of the story that I wanted, that one voice may not get the message fully across but a group of voices can make a difference with support and positivity. I feel like using music was a good drive, it allowed me to visually show its’ power and its’ colourful effect to the dull world.
Acts one and three work out well enough I feel, as the character was well exposed to the dull world attempts to play music, loses its’ possession whilst not strong I feel the resolution allowed the character to realise life lessons.
What else I could have done in my work, is create stronger acts and spend more time planning the animatic rather than jumping straight into it. I feel like this was my weakness, I was too involved in the work and not looking at the bigger picture. I could have also made the contrast stronger between the characters, such as planning the shot when the creature building awakened and make this obvious to the audience.
What I thought I could have done better was consciously be aware that I am making the acts obvious in the story, perhaps as well make the contrast stronger between the protagonist and the antagonist. Make the antagonist appear much more threatening and make the audience feel the danger the violin is going through and therefore the loss would have been a lot more effective. With these being the things I could of done better are how I feel towards to what I would of done to make the animatic better.
If given the chance to redo this, the things I would change in the work done in this module is making the acts more obvious, perhaps be a bit more experimental as I feel like my work wasn’t powerful enough when displaying the evil-ness of the monstrous building, I may have held myself back while working on this. I’d also put more time into the environment as this plays a big part in the story. However despite all this, I am happy with the work I have created and whilst not perfect, the module has taught me the key elements of story-telling, how it is structured and how all of these devices are crucial. With the mistakes I have made, I am glad that I am able to look back at them when making my new ideas and see myself progress. It has inspired me to learn more about the art of story-building and enabling me to make a story much more effective and emotionally moving to my audience.
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Narrative Strategies
How these can be used to make our stories stronger.. and more powerful
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Lecture - Symbolic and metaphoric
How it can strengthen the animator’s work
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First Draft of Animatic (Key frames)



I’ve combined the images of the animatic into a storyboard format to make it easier to read.
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Concept art- The violin and the bow

Also include concept of where the violin lives.
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Making changes to the story Story Revised
By taking in the feedback given by my tutor, I made the changes to the story and began to delve more into the characters and creating unique desigin.
A violin awakens in a black and white world futuristic world where people are controlled by a “system” and their freedom has been taken away. They are brain-washed to believe that money and success are the way to progress. The violin and its’ bow realise that this is wrong and want to make a difference, so they uses their traits (their passion for music) to change people’s hearts and for them to realise that having fun and leisure is okay. They run to the centre of town and play music until the tallest building, known as the system, awakens and alerts the crowds of people to confiscate the violin’s bow (its prized possession). Saddened by this, the violin is captured in a cage and is unconscious. It wakes up to find jazz instruments who jump out of a box and communicate with the violin, asking it to make music together. However, they realise that the violin is without its’ bow when the violin explains that the bow is inside the building so it can’t make music with them. They then climb on top of the system building to sing and play music on the top of their voices which spreads both music and colour to the world. With the power of the other jazz instruments, the violin is lifted up by their power and is able to rescue the bow and join them, making their music even stronger and converting the system and the people.”
Violin - Strong, passionate about music and can be reckless at times
Bow- Quiet character, passionate about music and best friends with violin
System - Monsterous,aggressive and strict about the futuristic city. Bans all leisurely things including music.
jazz band - Collborative group of instruments looking to find a violin to complete their set to play jazz music.
Genre :- Personal Conflict
Theme:- Desire for Truth/order
Story :- gift taken away
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Thinking about whether this short film poses a question, if so what is it?
- Talk about examples of how story engines are being used.
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One to One feedback
After talking to my tutor about the concept and breaking it down to a beat sheet. He very much liked the idea of the violin and to have it be the protagonist rather than the girl, which I agreed as the violin has more purpose and could be alot more meaningful than the girl because of what it is and its’ character design.
Cut the introduction
Perhaps change the main character to the violin
Violin could have its’ bow taken away from it
Have the violin find other instruments and work together
Break the system (Building)
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Photo

Concept art
I drew a cough concept art of Leah and ezzia standing in front of the menacing city. I thought it would be interesting to personify the main system buildings making them dark, and looking down on the protagonist.
What I really wanted to show was to make a colour contrast between the protagonist,world and the antagonist. The world being black and white, dull with reds and yellows and the protagonists full of colour and glowing.. giving a sense of heroism.
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Ways to portray money,success and achievements in a bad light
Looking back on the feedback I was given from the previous crits, It was crucial to find a way to portray money and success in a negative way as this is what will effect the main character and it will be the drive for them to take action in this world.
Money
People become greedy for it and become self involved ( lack of care for others)
People rely on it as a source of satisfaction and safety in which they may reject their own needs such as leisure,fun, music.
Success
Success may create tense competition as they aim to be the best but they may do this through violent ways.
The constant feeling of success feeds peoples greediness.
Can cause people to look down on people and mock them.
Achievements
Can make people quite lonely? especially if they’re focused on being on the top and being rich
Perhaps nothing else to achieve?
Shots
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Story - Beat Sheet
The story simplified down into bullet points
Returning back to our stories, we were asked to narrow it down to bullet points so we have an idea of what happens in each act. This will help us when creating our key frames and progress further to our animatic.
Breaking it down into the 3 Act structure.
Exposition -
It’s evening, Leah plays the last note on her violin and puts it by her bed before she goes to sleep. She falls asleep and falls out of her bed but in her dreams she’s really falling into a worm hole She wakes up in the year 2020, in a futuristic,mundane factory working world. Sitting in an ally-way, she finds her violin has shrinked into a pocket sized violin. Hurt from the fall, she struggles to get up, eventually she gets up and walks down the street Exposed to the major differences that are in this world compared to hers, she is sadden by the violence and greed that is seen among the people in their daily lives She can’t help but also notice that people aren’t having any “fun” or “leisure”. The Silence of the streets is eerie and empty. She wants to break the silence and bring smiles to the citizen’s face, her violin bounces into her arms. She takes a deep breath and plays her favourite song. It’s almost as if time had stopped and as she played her first note, the people immediately turn around, red eyed with angry and start to walk towards her. She becomes overcrowded by the people on the street, has a panic attack. The violin is taken away from her by the police. Lost and upset from her loss, she mourns as she walks down the silent street. She comes across some slightly broken instruments in empty allyways, She brings them together in hope that their voices will be enough will break her violin friend out They break her friend out of the police’s possession. All the instruments fly up to the top of the system that watches them, they sing together with their collaborative music and breaks the silence to the system
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The Main characters
Leah
Back story-
Leah is a music student attending university, who has a strong passion for the strings she plays her violin occasionally and has kept her first violin since she was a child.
Age- 24
Personality- enthusiastic, positive, encouraging, smart and can be brave at times.
Likes -
Dislikes -
Ezzelin - little noble one
Age-
Person
Colour schemes
Purpose and How they interact in the world
Personalities
Concept art
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The World (System and people)
Colour scheme
Purpose
To function robotically
No breaks or leisure is allowed
To continuously work, heavy penalties if work is not completed
Humans are all controlled
What is seen as the norm
Success,money,continous achievements. ( non-stop)
Everyone cannot be differentiated, must look and act the same.
What is frowned upon
Difference in clothes and behaviour,
Trying to fight against the system
Breaking the law
concept art on this. _______________________
Colour scheme
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Moodboards
The world
Main female character Object side-kick
The people
The system.
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