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padfootink · 6 years

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Hurts Like Hell

Pairing: Sirius x Reader

Summary: You’ve happened upon a painful realization. Sirius wants to know what it is that’s caused you to dodge any and all interaction with him.

Warning(s): swearing, angst, just general unhappiness.

Note: Y’all I was really just in my feels when I wrote this, and the angst fest was therapeutic.

“You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

You barely register the voice coming from above you. It takes several heartbeats before you finally turn your face upwards, staring bleakly from your spot at the kitchen table. James peers at you over the rim of his glasses, concern etched across his face. Your fingers dance around the rim of the coffee mug in front of you and a smile that never reaches your eyes graces your lips, “that easy to notice, huh?” James slides into the chair across from you, the frown adorning his face only growing deeper.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?”

“I really must be an open book, since everyone can read me so damn easy.” James chokes back a surprised laugh and a real smile teases your features before it reverts back to the pitiful look you had before. He slides a hand across the table, brushing your fingers in what’s supposed to be a comforting gesture but somehow makes you feel worse because fuck, you must look so pathetic right now. You pull your hand away before brushing your tangled hair away from your face, a sigh escaping your lips.

“Everyone except for Sirius, huh?”

“Yeah, well, he always has been sort of dense, hasn’t he?” The two of you share a laugh, and you almost miss the sound of the front door closing and the footsteps approaching the kitchen. Almost. You can’t help yourself as your eyes are immediately drawn towards him as he saunters through the kitchen door.

“What sort of party have you lot got going on in here?” Sirius questions, his back to the two of you as he goes through the fridge. Any semblance of a good mood you might have had is ripped straight from you as you take in his disheveled appearance. You can feel James watching you as you lift the mug up to your mouth, sipping what can barely be constituted as lukewarm coffee. Sirius shifts on his feet, spinning around to face you. The silence is tense as he moves to sit at the table, a bottle of water and an apple in his hands.

“Did I interrupt something?” He asks, looking between you and James. James opens his mouth to answer but you beat him to it. “No, nothing. Just talking about our nights. Looks like you had a busy one, aye?” Sirius pauses, trying to read your face. He leans back into his seat, unscrewing the cap of his bottle and taking a swig. “Yeah, I guess. Had kind of a shitty night.”

You let out a scoff, standing and walking towards the sink. You dump out the cold coffee and rinse the mug before placing it with the rest of the scattered dishes. You idly try and recall who’s turn it is to clean the kitchen, but it escapes you. You smile stiffly at the two boys watching you, “later, James.” Throwing out a weak wave, you all but run from the room and less than a minute passes before they hear the sound of a door slamming shut.

Sirius turns to look at his best friend. He takes a bite from the apple and sighs, “what’s her deal?” James stares at him in astonishment before shaking his head and frowning. “Sirius are you fucking kidding me?” Sirius frowns, throwing his hands up defensively, “what?”

James shakes his head once more before standing to leave, “have you considered just asking Y/N? It’s pretty obvious what’s going on here to everyone in this damn apartment except for you.” With that, James turns on his heel and walks off to the room he shares with Lily, leaving Sirius alone and confused.

It feels like several hours have passed before you hear a faint knocking at your door. “Y/N, love, you in there?” You curl further into yourself underneath the covers, ignoring the boy at your door. The doorknob jiggles before you hear it creaking open and curse yourself for forgetting to lock the stupid thing. Remus peaks into the darkness, spying your figure buried under a heap of blankets. The wooden floor creaks underneath his feet as he moves to join you on the bed.

“It’s almost ten, you need to eat something,” he says gently, leaning over your frame. You grumble something unintelligible and attempt to bury yourself deeper in the comforter. Remus continues to sit with you in silence, rubbing soothing circles over your back. It’s a nice feeling, even if it’s separated by at least four different blankets.

There’s another knock at the door, and you feel Remus shift beside you to look at the new visitor. He stands, and you miss the warmth he provided moments prior. “I’ll leave you two alone to sort through it, I suppose.” You feel your stomach sink and miss his company slightly less. If you were feeling anything like yourself at the moment, you’d curse the bastard for leaving you to rot with the person whose company you wanted for least given the current state of things.

The door clicks shut with finality and the two of you let the silence fill the room again. “Is there a reason you’ve been avoiding me for the past week and a half? Did I do something?” Sirius’ voice cracks and you feel your heart clench. Slowly, you push yourself upright, although you refuse to look him in the eye. He moves to the foot of the bed and lowers himself onto the edge of the mattress. “Talk to me, dove,” Sirius whispers, “please.”

The breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding escapes you. “It – it’s not you, it’s just–" you break off, sighing angrily. You stare at your hands, picking at your fingernails. “I dunno when it happened, Siri. Really.” It’s his turn to sigh, and you look up just as he runs a hand through his hair.

“You don’t know when what happened, Y/N?”

You fist your hands into the duvet, “I don’t know when it started to fucking hurt to see you with someone else.” A warm droplet lands on your hand and startles you. When did you start crying? “I don’t get it, if you wanted to hang out more you should’ve just said–“

“No, Sirius!” You hurl yourself off the bed, putting a few steps between the two of you. It feels like miles. “You really are a daft git, aren’t you?” Sirius stares at you in stunned silence. You shove the heels of your hands into your eyes hard enough to see stars and tilt your face upwards. “It hurts so bad, y’know? I didn’t ask to be in love with you, and every time I see you getting with some girl I can’t even blame her because, fuck, look at you. You’re Sirius fucking Black and everyone either wants to be you or be with you,” you can feel the tears falling harder, and your chest tightens painfully. “And it just fucking sucks knowing that you’ll never look at me the way I look at you. Happy? Want me to go on? I’ve got loads of material for the pity party I’ve been throwing myself.”

You can’t bring yourself to look at him, so you keep your gaze locked to your feet, vision blurred with tears. The bed creaks as Sirius shifts his weight to stand before walking towards you. Seconds tick past that are followed with nothing but an anxious silence. Gently, his fingers ease your chin upwards before Sirius runs his thumbs under your eyes, sweeping tears away. “Look at me,” he murmurs, holding your chin in place. Slowly you raise your eyes to meet his own stormy ones.

“You’ve fucking ruined me, you know that right?” He catches you off-guard but continues before you have the chance to question what he means. “I’ve spent this entire time trying to find ways to get you off my mind. But no matter what, it always comes back to you, and your stupidly cute face and the way you put all your heart into the people around you,” he pauses, “even someone who doesn’t deserve it. Like me.”

Your mind reels, trying to sort through this new information. “But I thought – last night you were–“

“I was what, Y/N? I spent the night at Frank and Alice’s, trying to come up with some way to tell you how I feel.”

Your stomach twists itself into a knot, doubt creeping in. He couldn’t have feelings for you. But then, why would he lie about something like that? Sirius takes one of your hands with his, threading your fingers together. “I really do love you, you know.”

A dumbfounded bark of laughter rips itself from your throat and you sniffle. “I love you too, you idiot.” Sirius smirks down at you, leaning in until the tips of your noses brush against the other’s. “Oh, I’m the idiot, aye? If I recall correctly, you’re the one who assumed your feelings weren’t mutual.”

“So did you!”

Sirius chuckles softly, “so maybe we’re both idiots.” Before you can retort, he delicately places his lips against yours, as if you would shatter if he pressed down any harder. You swallow your surprise and press your mouth against his fervently. Slowly, you pull apart to catch your breath and he grins at you. “You taste like salty snot.” You shove him away, giggling. “Hey! I was pouring what I thought were my unrequited feelings out to you like five minutes ago! It’s not like I had a chance to clean up any before you started sucking face.”

Sirius rolls his eyes but pulls you closer. You smile up at him before resting your head against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. You finally wrestle yourself out of his arms and crawl back into your bed. When you get comfortable you face him again only to see his bewildered expression. “What? Crying for hours is exhausting and I need my beauty rest,” you throw the blankets open and gesture towards the empty space beside you. “You gonna join me or what?”

Sirius stands there, dumbfounded, before grinning and sliding under the covers next to you. He pulls you half on top of his chest, shifting around until the two of you are comfortable. You close your eyes, feeling sleep pull at you almost immediately. “G’night, darling,” Sirius mumbles into your hair. A faint smile works itself onto your lips.

“Sleep tight, loverboy.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black oneshot #sirius black fanfiction #marauders era #marauders imagine #harry potter imagine

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padfootink · 6 years

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All Bets Are Off

Pairing: Sirius x Reader

Summary: Based on this post; Lily and Reader have a party game they break out when bored. This time it just happens to involve certain Marauders.

Note: Just a lil something to appease the Sirius-shaped hole in my heart.

“Lils, as much as I love the free booze, I’m bored out of my mind.”

Running a hand through your curled hair, you turn your head towards the ginger haired girl leaning against the wall beside you. The girl in question raises her charcoal-lined eyes to yours and smiles. “Last I checked, you’re the one who wanted to come to this party.”

You roll your eyes, “and I regret it! It’s been an hour and I’ve nothing to show for it.”

You and Lily fall silent as you watch the crowd. You spot Marlene chatting up a bloke in the corner, and think you spy Alice dancing with Frank amongst the other bodies. Your eyes continue to scan the room before landing on your new prize.

You nudge Lily with your elbow and tilt your head without breaking eye contact with the group of boys across the room.

“What say we add to our game?” Lily’s eyes land on the group and widen. “Merlin, no! Not with him!”

“Oh please, you two have been flirting back and forth for weeks! And James isn’t exactly hard on the eyes, Lils. You could do worse,” you laugh, tilting your head to look her in the face as you sip from your glass.

Lily heaves a sigh and takes a large swig of her drink before looking at you again. “Fine. But only if you go for Sirius. I know you guys have a thing for each other, don’t try to deny it,” she narrows her eyes sharply at the last bit and smirks. You laugh and nod, “Alright, alright. Same rules as last time: first one with a belt wins, and it’s winner take all.”

You twist your pinkies around the other’s before pushing off the wall. Your cup finds itself in a pile of other variously filled containers as you make your way over.

Remus is the first to notice the two of you as you draw near and smiles. Sirius and James turn their heads and you hold back a laugh as you watch James’ eyes light up when he notices Lily. You slip past the pair and sidle up to Sirius, wrapping your arm around his.

Sirius moves his mouth closer towards your ear, “why hello there, lover.”

“Charming to see you again, dearest.”

“And whatever did I do to deserve the company of the prettiest girl at this party?”

You laugh, leaning into his side. "Does it matter?" Before Sirius can respond, you tug on his arm and pull him towards the dance floor. You peak at Lily and grin when she makes eye contact. Before long, Sirius’ hands are resting lowly on your hips and your bodies are swaying along to the music as you make idle conversation.

“Hey Siri, I was wonderin’ about something,” you lean into his neck. He angles his head down and smiles gently, “and what would that be, kitten?”

“What’s taken you so long to just snog me already?”

You bite back a grin as his eyes widen. You catch Sirius off-guard for the second time tonight as you lift yourself on your toes and press your lips against his. Almost immediately his mouth moves against yours just as eagerly.

Your fingers brush against his belt buckle as you deepen the kiss. Sirius groans into your mouth and combs a hand through your mildly tangled hair. You manage to work the belt open and pull back to take a breath. Sirius smiles down at you, looking a little dazed.

You smile up at him sincerely, “that was nice.”

Before he has a chance to respond, you yank the belt and it seamlessly slides from around his waist. You throw your fingers up in a wave and turn to leave, “catch you later, darling!”

You manage to catch the look of confusion on his face before you’re walking back across the dance floor. You catch Lily’s gaze and hold Sirius’ belt up with a victorious expression. She rolls her eyes but smiles all the same, saying something to James before pushing away to meet you.

You link arms and head to the door, “I feel a little bad just leaving them like that.”

“Don’t worry Lily dearest, Jamie’ll still call you tomorrow.”

She elbows you in the side but the look on her face tells you she’s enjoying the banter. You continue to chat amongst yourselves as you weave through the crowd. You cast your gaze back once more and catch Sirius still watching your retreating form.

“Maybe the next party won’t be so boring after all.”

#sirius black x reader #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black oneshot #marauders era #marauders imagine #padfoot #harry potter imagine

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