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Step family porn is one of the most popular porn genres on the planet. Rape kinks are widespread particularly in cis women. When was the last time anyone cis got harassed or called a rapist for that? Does any cis person have thread on kiwifarms for having those kinks? It's not about the kinks.

I notice you also characterise everyone trans who has rape and incest kinks (because said kinks are not the same as being into real rape and real incest) as men who 'identify as' women. Plenty of men have those kinks. I'm sure plenty of trans men too. Could there be a reason you're trying to make this seem like a trans women only thing? You couldn't possibly be trying to play to transmisogyny and giving men a free pass for what you condemn us for (which isn't even wrong, kinks aren't inherently wrong no matter what)

why the fuck is every person you post about being some irredeemable fetishist a trans woman. don't hit me with that "well being trans and being a bad person aren't mutually exclusive" shit. don't dodge the fucking question. why is it always a trans woman or a black person.

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'egg cracking' sounds too gentle for what I think should be done. Egg carpet bombing. Egg kinetic bombardment.

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I do not mean at all to minimise the awful effects of abusive siblings

but also

class divisions to keep you from unionising against parents

who are ultimately at fault for teaching and modeling abusive behaviours at the most impressionable and formative ages

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Yes point out that bigoted behaviour will alienate people, but the problem with that is that it'll alienate minorities and not other bigots. If the only reason the kids are given to stop bigoted behaviour is shame.m, then no cause has been addressed. They'll just get into some secret online group where they're free to say what's forbidden and it'll have a greater thrill. If we just try and use the conformist social surveillance apparatus to only target kids who do genuinely bad things, you're still enforcing a system where the most important thing is social approval and popularity. Breaking that would be a real step toward addressing bigotry because it would be teaching kids morality in a way they actually find important- not just doing things because they don't want to be disliked.

bullying and shame are not useful tools directed against the wrong people. They're psychological abuse. And this was tagged with parenting?

'bring back shame' it never left. It doesn't work.

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It's so unnecessary to mix misogyny in with being anti capitalist. Totally contradictory and counterproductive actually. I really wish that the word bitch was treated as pure bigoted slurs and not something so common that even videos and movies that censor or avoid non-gendered swear words don't censor or avoid that. (I don't think swears should be censored but that's beside the point)

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kids deserve so much more respect and it turns out that saying that is a great way to locate the horrible people in any community <3

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I find it very offensive that the more unwell you are, the more things you have to do to maintain your health. Things like following special diets, going to medical appointments, making big and important decisions about what treatments to use. At the same time, the more unwell you are the less energy you have to do all of these extra things. It seems grossly unfair.

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When trans women are mocked and made into jokes in the media, I get very upset, and I am often told “Kay, you can’t go through life getting offended every time someone makes a joke.” And I sputter and object but they don’t hear me. So I want to be clear for once, about why the jokes make me angry.

I learned to hate myself for being transgender before I knew I was transgender. I laughed at the jokes in stand up comedy routines, and prime time sitcoms, and animated comedy shows, and in the movies, and in books, and in games, laughing at trans women for existing, about “men in dresses”, about people who “got their dicks chopped off”, and I learned to think that was worthy of ridicule.

And then a day came when I felt a pang of envy at what my female classmates were wearing and I repressed it, and felt guilty, and a day where I felt incomplete because I had no breasts and I repressed it and I felt disgusting And a day when I realized the only images of romance that made me feel anything showed two women together and I repressed it and I felt like a monster And a day when I realized I felt sick when I looked at myself in the mirror after every shower before work and couldn’t bear to look at my own face, and I hated myself. And then there came a day when I hated myself so much, and I thought I could never understand why, and so I just wanted it all to end. And it was just a miracle that I swerved my car back into my lane in time.

And all of it started with a joke that I heard on TV, and then kept hearing from all the voices from the ether, over and over and over, worming an idea into my mind before I was old enough to realize I was absorbing it, the idea that a man in a dress is funny, and that changing your body parts makes you a freak, and that women who have penises instead of vaginas are liars and hurt men. And they’re still making these jokes. And somewhere out there right now, just like all those years ago, there is a little girl in a t-shirt and cargo shorts with buzzed off hair watching the TV, hearing that joke and absorbing it without knowing it, who will someday have to pry herself apart to tear it out of her head, just like I did.

That is, if she doesn’t kill herself first.

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The birthday boy

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"Just let them figure it out" has a really high body count. Yeah, you have your moral high ground, but the world just lost a fucking angel because you think deeply closeted trans women need to be treated like alien life, not people.

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TBH I don’t think it should be legal to deny your child healthcare based off your own religious belief. I’m sorry. Maybe not my most nuanced take. This isn’t even about Jehovah’s Witnesses and Christian Scientists and sects that do not believe in medical procedures. I am from a super religious area in the south and I have seen so many evangelicals use the “religious exemption” loophole to avoid vaccinating their children while still allowing them to attend youth activities or school. Like, I don’t recall any part of Baptist doctrine that supports that and furthermore your right to religion should not supersede your child’s right to not die of a preventable illness.

We’ve seen even more extreme cases with evangelical sects where children have been neglected to death during ‘exorcisms’ or faith healing attempts and these cases rarely make it to trial even though the parents (and often religious leaders) directly caused the death.

And I am absolutely not saying ‘snatch babies from their home due to their parents religious beliefs’ there was this epic ‘parents rights’ trial where two parents were trying to defend their right to deny their daughter with cancer healthcare and it ended with the state having medical power of attorney over the child and the parents still having physical custody. Which is probably the best call in many of these situations. Parents should not have a right to neglect their children to death.

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isn't this also recursive discourse or whatever it's called that takes the focus off of how kids are treated by their parents (except to assert that 'gifted kids' are being treated better and not abused, as if being treated as one of those 'gifted kids' isn't also very strings attached and can even be a form of abuse) and just on 'those privileged nerds who had it better than me'

So much of the backlash here is taking so much of the 'gifted kid paradigm' at face value. Even the term gifted implies that we didn't actually develop skills through work and study and genuine interest.

gifted kid burnout isn't about 'oh boo hoo I'm not the centre of the universe anymore' (as if that's what it felt like, and as if that's also not abuse to drill into a kids head) it's about the extreme pressure of expectation and yes overwork, school is already more than a full time job for kids no matter what level, and after all these expectations and hopes put on you you get abandoned after education and languish in a life you were never given the tools to prepare for because you were just used as a parents trophy. I thought we all knew that preferential treatment from an oppressor isn't really good treatment, and privileges are always conditional and used as a form of control

plus, it's gonna make some reading this hate me but tall poppy syndrome is real and and it isn't ok. That leads to bullying too.

when I was in middle school/early high school I heavily identified with the "gifted kid burnout" stuff because school regularly stressed me to the point of sickness. I could relate to having my worth tied to academics and I was like yeah, it also sucks how you have to earn food, clothing, and a bed to sleep in with good grades. but as I got older I realized that wasn't what people were talking about, and that what I experienced was abuse not "gifted kid burnout." it made me question what people were complaining about if they weren't being threatened because gifted students are genuinely treated better than everyone else. better curricula and teachers and special privileges. anyway gifted programs are a joke

yeah this is actually another thing i hate about the framing of gifted blah blah, in the cases where someone is talking about actual abuse or even the general misery of being a child (a real and true thing that absolutely does articulate in school settings as well) the 'gifted kid' is a very recuperative discourse that shifts the blame off the lack of youth autonomy and instead tries to substitute in some notion of oppression of the cognitive élite um i mean long-suffering high iq geniuses um i mean special needs but not in the bad way children um i mean.

and actually, analogously this is also a problem in 99% of complaints about 'burnout' in general that construe it as a special malady of the white-collar professional class rather than as a labour rights issue, an analysis that would immediately make clear that You, salaried office worker, are in fact not the primary sufferer of overwork lol.

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treating egg cracking as forcibly transitioning someone is out there considering I was already forcibly transitioned away from my real gender by my parents and school and society to the point where I just accepted the conditioning so much and AMAB puberty had done its work that I just internally admitted defeat.

I just never thought I'd hear 'trans people should wait until they're sure' be passed off as a woke take of respect. Like 'you shouldn't force a gender identity on someone' the egg crackers didn't, our parents and doctors and schools did

My egg moments were like 'I'm totally making an alt Facebook account with a feminine name and pics for anonymity reasons' it's not like I was minding my own business as a happy man until I fell in the cracking pit

in a time where laws are being passed and lobbied for to outlaw gender affirming care with the flimsy justification that 'kids are too young to know' and you have to go through years of 'psychiatric evaluation' in places to get on a WAITING LIST for HRT, is the 'let them figure it it' really helping? Cos the way I see it, eggs have already figured it out. They're just afraid, and for good reason.

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I think a lot of people especially in the egg discourse forget that the way we usually think of transitioning is kind of a misconception. It's not like you were one thing and you're deciding to become another. The fact we spend any time in the closet and we have to 'figure out' that we're not our AGAB is a travesty. We were conditioned to think we're something we're not. Transitioning isn't just moving toward something it's moving away from and undoing that conditioning. So treating egg cracking as enforcing a view on someone in an unnatural way is not really correct. Even going about it in the most inelegant way is still more a reminder than an introduction of something new. Egg doesn't just mean being in the closet. Egg moments are moments of signs that you're trans in a way that's obvious in hindsight and to other people but that you couldn't see or admit to yourself.

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also people who post about this bad news saying if you don't do something about it or at least feel sad or angry enough you're a bad person or not a person at all