paleobrotanistarchive-blog

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is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing?

no it’s called disappointing your mother.

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alright so i don’t know if many of you noticed, but i haven’t been active on lee for a while now, but i want to, so i have re-made lee over at @paleobrotanist as a sideblog, so if i do follow you back, it will be from mechrcmancer ( @mechboomancer )

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BRO ONLY GAY IF THE BALLS TOUCH.

‘ bro, let’s cuddle. it’s only gay   if one of us gets a broner. ’

“ don’t get a boner then. i mean it’s hard, pun intended, because i’m so hot, but bro. “

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BUT I’D STILL CUM.

‘ though,    i mean, if you’re into dying   after you orgasm, you could go for it. ’

“ nice way to go out though. “

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ATLEAST I’D COME THO.

‘ she’d also have sex with you while you   were   unconscious from the drugs she   made you    take and then kill you after   you came. so there’s that. ’

“ true... “

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EVERYONE GOT THEIR FLAWS, MIA.

“ her tits might be nice, but she    fucked her brother. ”

“ don’t remind me. “

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the fucking phone for the weed squad

Send 📱 To Find Out About My Muse’s Phone // status: accepting // paleobrotanist

What contact photo my muse has set for yours:

What my muse thinks of the way yours texts: 

she thinks he’s high. all the time. but she’s right, so i mean

How quickly my muse responds to your texts: 

sometimes she reads it and doesn’t respond for hours just so he’ll see it’s been read, but she’s not responding, just to piss him off. unless he asks her to smoke with him. then it’s the second she sees his text.

How often our muses text: 

she doesn’t text when she’s working bc she can’t get away with it, but a decent amount when she’s out of work.

How often our muses call: 

mia doesn’t call unless she needs something and doesn’t want to wait for an answer, or she’s trying to find him.

Does my muse purposefully miss calls from yours: 

100%. she never answers. ever.

Last text sent from my muse to yours:

>can we watch ghost busters? i feel like… i’m one in spirit, you know? like.. …,,,,,…. that’s what my life was meant for. ghost busting.>i know i told you i would wait to smoke until you got out of work>but i didn’t>I NEED TO CATCH SOME MOTHERFUCKIN’ GHOSTS, LEE

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BRO WITH YOU GO TO THE BROM WITH ME

‘ yeah bro, bro. ’ 

“ heart bro, bro. “

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I’LL WRITE YOU A BROEM.

‘ hey bro… it’s raining outside. can i be your rainbro? ’

“ hey brodo, can i enter your ring? “

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BROKAY? BROKAY.

she sat up before climbing on top of him, sitting on his hips.

‘ bro-senpai, you’re so kawaii. ’

“ i’m so fucking kawaii it’s unbelievable. ” 

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GIVE IT A WIGGLE.

‘ it’s also not gay if he’s your swolmate. ’

“ hey come on, it’s never gay when it’s just the pinkie. ”

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BROMEO O BROMEO NO HOMEO.

‘ remember, it’s not gay if the balls don’t touch, anyway. ’

“ s’not gay when it’s in a threeway. “

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I’M A SEME, SON.

she let out a laugh  as  she  looked up at him.   she knew he probably felt like shit–the whole thing ignored.   but she just couldn’t do it. she wasn’t ready for that kind of talk yet.

‘ i’m glad you’re fully aware of all of the terms. ’

lee grinned, before leaning in and kissing her head.

“ of course. if you say no homo before watching it you’re fine. “

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MHM THOSE BIG YAOI HANDS.

‘ yeah, we’re going to pretend you’re a giant, weird weeaboo and forget the other thing you said. ’

she let out a yawn as she wrapped her arm around his waist to pull herself closer as she rested her head on his shoulder.   she really didn’t want to deal with what he said.    mia avoided  talking  about  feelings  until it was eating her up inside.

‘ though, if we’re being honest here, i wouldn’t be shocked if you did watch that shit. ’

lee glared down at her, before pulling her ear, and then resting his hand against her head, stroking her hair. he wanted to tell her really how he felt, but not now. it couldn’t be now.

“ oh yeah, it’s my fucking jam. all that..thrusting, and those ukes damn. mhm. “

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HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME???

she    was    half    asleep    when   she felt  a  pair  of  lips  pressed  to  her  lips. she smiled, kissing back.          she had brought  up  a  hand  to  cup  his cheek. they still weren’t together,   but mia had started to let him spend the night more and more. 

          when she heard what he said, her eyes           opened slightly more as she pulled back           slightly.

   ‘ am i half-asleep and misunderstood       you–or did you say what i thought? ’

shit. shit. shit. no. what the fuck had he done? him and mia weren’t serious, hell,  she didn’t even like him. him liking her, that was a different story. mia was beautiful and yeah, lee did love her. but no way could he  tell her that. 

he let out a laugh, scratching the back of  his head.

“ what did you think i said? i said i love..y...yaoi, yeah, you know that gay anime thing, really awesome. yep. that. yep. “

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&& fovghtabear

lee stared at the female, laying,  in his bed.she was fucking beautiful.

he leaned forward, kissing her, and resting their heads together.

“ god — ...i love you.. ”

it was only after he realised what he had said. shit.

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JASON BRODY = SMART MOTHERFUCKER.

“ you’re my hero.   my jason brody    looking hero. cept i hope you live.    i hope jason dies.     he’s a white    fuckboy douchebag. ”

“ jason brody ? nah, that guy had it set. lets face it, citra is fucking hot, and hoes before bros-dy tapped that ass “