pandasailor

[pandasailor]

Donnie: Give me the name of a Mexican dish that ends with "ito."

...

Mikey: Dorito.

Leo: What?

Raph: *clapping* GOOD ANSWER

*ding*

Leo and Donnie: HUH!?!?

Source

[pandasailor]

Mikey: Hey Raph?

Raph: Yes?

Mikey: If adults grow from children, and only adults have children, who had the first child?

Raph: .............

Raph.exe has stopped working

[pandasailor]

Raph: It's just! Not! FAIR!

Mikey: Bum Biddy Biddy Biddy Bum Bum! Bum Biddy Biddy Biddy Bum!

Leo and Mikey: Bum Biddy Biddy Biddy Bum Bum! Bum Biddy Biddy Biddy Bum!

Donnie: *looking at Shredder* I wonder if that guy ever wiped his ass with the wrong hand!

Shredder: *glancing at his gauntlet* Yes! 😒

Source because idk why Tumblr won't let me put links in text anymore 👇

[pandasailor]

*They were all laughing, coming back home, but they stop in their tracks, gasping*

Leo: I think we're dead.

...

Mikey: Hey look how Raph died!

*they all start laughing except Raph*

Source below since Tumblr wanna be dumb. 👇

[pandasailor]

Mikey: *playing a harmonica*

If you get a divorce in Alabama!

*plays it again*

Are you still brother and sister?

Raph: *wheeze*

Source

[pandasailor]

Leo: Guys, I think I'm bi.

Donnie: Which one?

Leo: Uh...what do you mean?

Mikey: Bisexual? Bilingual? Bipolar?

Raph: I know. A bitch.

Leo: ¬_¬

[pandasailor]

Ah yes, the typical “evil capitalist businessman” disguise.

Finally updated Too Many Turtles! Link here :)

In which TOTTMNT Donnie dies, 2003 Mikey gaslights the server into thinking he wears glasses and ROTTMNT Donnie goes mad with power (again).

[pandasailor]

*SAINW verse*

Mikey: Leo! I found something that you're not gonna like! *holds out a poster*

Leo: Well it sounds like a sheet of paper, but I guess you're referring to what's on the sheet of paper.

*few minutes later*

Raph: Leo, what's this!? *holds out another poster*

Leo: I don't know! I mean seriously! What's with you people!? I'm blind!!

[pandasailor]

Raph: I want something iced, bitch! Don?

Donnie: I'll have the Neapolitan Cappuccino. More cappa than chino. Make sure it's got no more than 4oz of milk, the beans won't have the right texture otherwise. And make sure they spell my name correctly on the cup they always put Donald or spell it with a "Y" I hate that.

*inhale*

If you can't handle that, I'll have a Venti traditional Misto, please use soy milk with two blonde shots, adffogato, AND RISTRETTO! I'd also love three vanilla pumps at the very bottom, then add the coffee after, and then-

Hun: Enough! We're not getting you coffee!

Raph: Wow. I was getting major douche chills there, Don. Congrats!

[pandasailor]

Leo: You're mocking me, aren't you?

Raph: Oh no no no no no no- LEO LOOK IT'S KARAI!

Leo: WHERE!?

Raph: *uncontrollable laughter*

Leo: .......

[pandasailor]

*based on a true story*

Leo: *about to set off a firework* Easy...

*suddenly, the box of fireworks bursts in flames*

Leo: AAAHH-!

•

•

Click below for my story! (or not idc.) 👇

So nearly 3 or 4 years ago, I went to Florida to go see my family on my dad's side, and we got a box of fireworks for the night. Someone (still don't know who) left an active lighter near the box and it caught ablaze, causing more fireworks to set off. Luckily, nobody was hurt.

[pandasailor]

Donnie: Wake me up!

Leo: Wake me up inside!

Donnie: I can't wake up!

Leo: Wake me up inside!

Raph: SAVE ME!

Mikey: *is trying to sleep in the other room* >:(

[pandasailor]

Random criminal: Hey! Wake up!

Casey: Huh!?

Random criminal: I just murdered your entire family.

Casey: But...but I live alone.

Random criminal: Huh? Then who are these people in your house?

Casey: There's people in my house!?

Random criminal: Well not anymore! Dumb bitch! You could have died! You're welcome!

Casey: ._.

Source

[pandasailor]

2k3 Foot Leo Pages 10-20

[pandasailor]

Raph: Toss me my keys!

Donnie: *throws a whole ass car*

Raph: *ducks* I said my keys!

Donnie: I thought you said 1969 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500!

Raph: Why the fuck would I say 1969 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500!?

[pandasailor]

Raph: Toss me my keys!

Donnie: *throws a stop sign*

Raph: I said keys!

Donnie: I thought you said stop sign!

Raph: Why the fuck would I say stop sign!?

[pandasailor]

Raph: Toss me my keys!

Donnie: *throws a truck hitch*

Raph: I said my keys!

Donnie: I thought you said truck hitch!

Raph: Why the fuck would I say truck hitch!?