paralelunivere-simulation-film

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Final notes to do with Caleb’s and Ryan’s character development. I feel like my notes look like a paranoid Caleb’s notes would look like haha. I really like the ideas and how much I’ve developed Ryan’s character though. He’s far more interesting now to look into and to address, and how he interacts with Caleb is far more important to analyse.  

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Journal Entry

So, we’re coming up to a summative deadline, so I’ve been concentrating more on pre-production documents, and I’m starting to get there. I have my locations finalised and sorted now, and I’ve decided to cut locations from the script like Confetti for one, I’ve cut that scene along with the student services scene completely out because I just found it, if I’m being honest quite cliche and embarrassing to have that type of scene in. Also it’d be quite hard to organise that type of scene and have that much Confetti staff on board to help and be part of it, so i decided to cut it out, the script doesn’t need it. 

But, all these locations I’m very happy to use and film in and for the main location which is my house, I now have a back-up location too, which in retrospect is my Ex’s share house, but eh we left things on good terms and he’s fine with us using his place as a back-up.  

I’m feeling quite confident with this film now, to make it and how the script is going, also especially something I’m excited about is cooking for all the cast and crew, borscht or some type of stew, its’s going to be far more fun and can have crew help me out if needs be too.   

I’ve started re-editing earlier scenes and cutting out scenes with Caleb and his parents too in earlier parts of the script, plus have re-written parts for Ryan especially but also Jane. I’ve explored more into Ryan’s character and to make this script even more ambiguous, have made his character more withdrawn and mysterious through what he says to Caleb after Caleb notices something has changed. I did more notes on Ryan and Caleb, but specifically has this new idea of who Ryan really is, how much he knows about Caleb’s situation and how he has a complete shift in mood and during Caleb’s final breakdown which ends in Ryan’s death. I’d like to be more speculation on what Ryan really knew, and if there was more to his character than meets the eye. There’s another interesting character in the mix effecting this outcome than Caleb. But I want to come at the angle that Ryan is either aware of Caleb’s idea of a parallel universe or knows something about Caleb's mental state that we don’t know. Or as per Caleb’s delusions, assume he’s part of the government, a spy who’s monitoring and watching him. There’s so much to explore that’s got me quite excited and creates more ambiguity and paranoia which I’m loving right now. 

I’ve come to the conclusion this film, it doesn’t focus mainly on parallel universes which is what I originally wanted to create at the beginning, but more on the idea of conspiracy theories and the point they try to get to the masses who follow and believe them. Which is to do with paranoia, what the truth really is, are we being monitored/watched? Is there a lot about this world that exists that we may or may not experience that’s being concealed to us? This is what I want to explore, and what Caleb goes through. As I originally thought, and developed that I want this film to have a message, a moral, a point. These are some of my points that also links to subjectivity. Can we believe what’s in our mind? Is it all just subjective and a whole different view point to the next person? Or are we being controlled into seeing what the government want us to see? In insanity, us seeing the world for what it really is? Are our eyes open to the real world? 

But I think this script has really developed from what it was when I first started writing it. And with the final draft I’m handing in, I’m very happy with what it is now. 

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Notes about Caleb and how ambiguous he becomes with his mental state and what he’s actually trying to look into and achieve. Like I said in previous entries, ambiguity is fun, it gives more space and more meaning to what’s written and is giving more by writing less. Mind-mapping i find is so much fun and easier to develop ideas than typing it all down. 

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Journal Entry

So, yet again writing this script has been very enjoyable, put the other pre-production documents are proving quite tiresome to write. As much as I like the role of producer, I honestly lack the motivation to write these documents compared to writing the script since I’m finding the script far more fun now I know where I’m going and improving upon dialogue. 

Yet, they have to be done, but I’m making slower progress with them, than with the script, but working at the NTU library, and HE learning room in Confetti has made it easier to try to get on with this pre-production work. Here are some of the notes I’ll post carrying on Caleb’s narrative developing. Like Joker, I want this film to constantly be in Caleb’s viewpoint, which makes him an unreliable narrator. But I want the min focus, even with the other 2 characters to be on Caleb’s journey, as this implies that this may all be in his head, or maybe a hallucination/simulation of sorts. It’s far from reality. 

What I have had doubts upon recently though, is the scenes with his parents. I was originally going to use my parents to be Caleb’s parents, but I’d rather not include them as I find it quite awkward since the script is based on conversations I’ve had with them. So, I’d rather use actors instead, but my first choice location will still be my house, but having so many people, especially older people is making me apprehensive, in terms of my parents reaction. As they’re quite old-fashioned and traditional. So, I’ve cut down on these scenes, as I also want to focus on Caleb’s isolation more than his interaction with his parents. Also, it works out better, because with less parental scenes, I can get all the scenes with the parents done in one day, as ageist as this sounds, I’m more comfortable working with people around my age. 

But, the ending’s really coming together now as that is the most important part of this script as after turning points we see Caleb’s final breakdown, which is the most interesting part to me. I’m procrastinating working on earlier parts of the script, but oh hell from the first draft and ideas of this script there’s so much i want to change. .

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Journal entry

So, continuation of script development. I had a Bandersnatch like choice, of which I’ll post pictures of my notes where I came to and ending. I’ve subconsciously developed a connection between Ryan and Caleb that’s stronger than Jane and Caleb, and stronger than Ryan and Jane, or so we assume. We really don’t see much of Ryan and Jane and their relationship in this script. But, it doesn’t feel right for some reason, to go into detail about Jane and Ryan. Plus, with the length of this script, I’d rather keep to the story and the point since it’s meant to be a short film we’re creating. If anything from all the characters I’ve created, I feel least connected to Jane. She doesn’t sit right for some reason, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

I still hold strongly with the idea that once you create and write about these characters you breathe life into them and give them a mind of their own. I can’t control any of them, but she’s even more stubborn and uncontrollable than Caleb in my eyes.  

But this decision comes from the relationship between Ryan and Jane to Caleb. After Caleb loses control of Ryan he has 2 choices, whether to kill Ryan or knock him out. Killing him leaves him to deal with Jane and pushes him further over the edge, But knocking him out just provides more loose ends, and gives more leeway to the story but I don’t see any closure to it. 

From my notes, and from what I originally wrote in the script because of Caleb’s dark monologue, I really enjoyed writing that because it’s a new side to Caleb we haven’t seen before and it explores more of his universe too, and with the murder of Ryan, that dark monologue comes out to play far easier and quicker than if Ryan was knocked out. I feel like I’d have to deal with Ryan again in the script and Jane too if they were both left alive.

To be honest, now I’m developing Ryan’s character a bit more I’m becoming more fond of him, I do want Caleb to have this failed type of intervention where he tries to reach out to one of them, yet the fact that he knocks out Jane beforehand foreshadows what he’s going to do with Ryan, or how he’s going to react which is badly and drastically to this whole situation. Just like Arthur did in Joker. 

Still don’t like Jane though, but we can see her reaction and her a little more emotional and I guess neutral through Caleb’s drastic actions, which is good because we see more from her side of the story of what’s really going on with Caleb. There’s still a lot to discover between Ryan’s reaction, this is something I’m changing, his stance to Caleb’s situation. It’s funny reading back to original ideas and first drafts how bad and undeveloped my idea of Ryan’s intervention to Caleb was. But that’s what all these drafts are about, developing into a good final idea and draft. 

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This is the philosophical rant that I went on when thinking about subjectivity and madness to do with Caleb. This was the most fun thing I ever wrote to do with this script and I really enjoyed it because I discovered a lot about myself and how we view the world around us. This all links back to the film.

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Journal Entry

So recently, I’ve been going to the library at NTU, this has helped me concentrate a lot more since I was getting easily distracted at home. Every time now I do my work I’ve been having breakthrough after break through which has made me a lot happier about this script and how it’s progressing. The majority of work I’ve done to it has progressed towards the end of the script, mainly because the final scene was the scene I had the most issues with, with trying to finally discover a good ending I could write down.

I’ve changed my stance on who Caleb used to be, because even with the idea of Caleb being a completely different and better person in a previous universe, I found the dialogue quite cheesy and not as serious as I’d like it to be or as deep. I still wanted to somehow stick with the moral question of whether you accept a pretty lie or an ugly truth in a nutshell. But now in this case, Jane shows Caleb who he is and used to be, a worse version of himself now, instead of a better version. I like this better because I developed another idea of Caleb having a personality disorder or possibly schizophrenia, the idea of Caleb having this background with mental disorders, makes his idea of parallel universes more unreliable and unbelievable.  It leaves the decision to the viewer whether Caleb is mad having a relapse or he really has slipped into a parallel universe. 

This gives me more room to manoeuvre and makes the script more interesting. Like i said, this world is a spectrum and I also want to see what the viewer thinks, and the conclusions they come up with, since I want this to be subjective as hell. Writing has become far easier, and more interesting, which obviously is a plus, but i still like all the ambiguity it creates, because I find writing definitively what happens, what did happen and what will is hard because you’re constantly questioning  whether it’s good enough, or interesting enough and there’s no fun or excitement that comes from ambiguity. I’d rather leave a lot of questions, and have the audience make their own mind up about what really happened.

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Journal entry

So, from more planning, I wrote about 4 pages of philosophical random waffle, but I thought about that related to the script and Caleb’s journey. It was quite cool, and I really got into it, because for once this film and the ideas in it made me think deeply about something else too, an idea I wanted to implement in this film about subjectivity. And this is what I mostly wrote about in the notebook. Like in Joker, we don’t know what was really real and what really happened in that film. In mu opinion a lot of what we experience in this world, life and realm is extremely subjective, and is extremely different to the next person. Based on our experiences, our environmental conditions, we can’t really believe what we see in front of our eyes, so we can’t trust ourselves, links back to simulation theory. This is both extremely unnerving  and opens the door to existentialism, but also beautiful because it keeps life a mystery, we have no black and white, what we have is every human has an individual spectrum. 

I’ve been analysing and watching Joker as well as writing this script so my analysis has contributed to the script too. 

Also leading back to the idea of a universe inside us all. This has really helped because it’s made the script far more ambiguous, and allows the reader and viewer when it’s being shot to decide for themselves what they see. Like in Joker.  

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mind-maps of the moral questions and ethical side of the script. I’ve done plenty on philosophy so would like to put in some ethics too in this script. I really like the idea of paranoia setting in so much Caleb assumes everyone is turning on him and how dangerous he’s becoming to society and himself.  

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Journal Entry continued

But as you can see I was quite happy, because I managed to have a breakthrough with the ideas in this script that suited me more and were far better and more mental and deep than the previous ideas I had. I found out, that something that helps me a lot when progressing this script, is mind-mapping in a notebook, because physically I can get the ideas out better through writing rather than typing. This has worked for me before with work I just don’t know why I never fully used it in the last two months. 

I managed to get quite deep into Caleb’s character which i’m really happy about because it’s humanising him, he’s more than just a fictional name, more than a fictional character I can physically see him with my own eyes and I can see what he’s going through now.  It’s starting to relate back to my interests and what I wanted to showcase in this film, as in what do we really know, what’s really true and what we‘re forced and made to believe through the media. Also this whole butterfly effect and how everything’s planned. This idea of control. It’s gotten me really excited to write more, since I love theory. I love writing and discussing ideas, so I can use this now to explore philosophical ideas that I couldn’t explore as easily before with my first writings of the script and initial ideas.    

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Journal enrty

So as of late, I’ve been feeling far more optimistic about personal issues that have been solved, and optimistic with film theory work for industry practice, but I’ve been balancing that out with this script work too. Since Xmas was coming up and during that initial week I’d had put off uni work, to get through Xmas, but recently have been working on the script again.  And I don’t know why but now when I try to work on the script it’s a lot easier and more fun to do than it was a few weeks ago when I tried working on it. I think it’s because there’s a lot of weight off my shoulders, and having some new life goals I can actually achieve has helped me out a lot. 

Yes, this is all relevant, don’t worry. But I had an epiphany the other day when I was going over the script again and re-writing, of which I mind-mapped some turning point ideas to progress from Caleb’s past and who he really was, to how he was going to progress from that point. I’ll post the pictures here.  

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All he wanted was to be wanted.

All I wanted was to be wanted