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Lane was very excited to see Tiana and Naveen again. :)

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!! PLEASE SPREAD THIS AROUND !!

And be extra careful if you are out in Philly tonight

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hey y’all. it would mean the world to me if you would share Justin Howell’s gofundme. We’re from the same area, and hearing about him on the news yesterday was like a punch to the gut. During a protest in Austin, Texas, Justin was shot in the head by an officer. He suffered a severe brain injury and is in for a long, long road of recovery. his family are accepting donations here for medical bills and more importantly, bringing the APD to justice. #HisNameIsJustinHowell

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CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

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The first pride was a riot, more specifically a riot against police violence. Trans women like Miss Major and other people of colour paved the way for the celebration of pride today. You cannot celebrate your pride this month, or any month if you aren’t also supporting Black Lives Matter and the riots going on against police violence right now. Us white LGBTQ+ need to stand up for our black siblings and their rights, their struggles. We need to amplify their voices and show any support we can. (Edited to add links and make the image clearer)

Extensive BLM Google doc including places to donate to, education resources, etc

List of 75 things white people can do right now

Simple way to donate to the cause if you have no money to

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Something I worked on instead of doing homework

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@strange-aeons I thought you might enjoy this for Thursday to look at

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The Backstreet Boys performing I Want It That Way together from each of their homes is exactly what I needed today.

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Everything is Blue (Ethan Nestor x Male reader) [part 14]

(M/N) POV

The rest of the day was a blur. After the Oreo or death challenge the boys did, they went to change because they were soaked. Ethan was the first to come out, and again, he was in that dumb sweatshirt of mine. Amy has been playing music, but her and Katherine had left the room. I pulled Ethan towards me, I put his arms around my neck and my hands on his waist. We slowly started to dance, Ethan's face resting in the crook of my neck. Ruth B.'s Lost boy echoed off the walls as me and Ethan danced. He had a soft blush sprawling across his cheeks. I didn't notice Amy or Mark come in, all I could see was Ethan. He was at the center of my world, my sun, moon, and stars. He had the galaxy in his eyes, the in his hair, and his freckles were flowers rolling across a field of soft spring grass. He smelled faintly of bubble gum and mint. Once upon a dream by Lana del ray came on, and couldn't help sing along as I danced with Ethan.

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem." I spun us around gently, Ethan following my lead.

"But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once

The way you did once upon a dream." I tightened my grip and held him closer.

"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, that gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem." We were in a different part of the room now, waltzing over cords and dog toys.

"But if I know you, I know what you'll do

You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream..." I pressed a gently kiss to Ethan's lips as I pulled him closer. I was home, holding his small frame, his fragile body in my arms, his heart that I held. I've never thought I'd be here, with him, with anyone. He opened my eyes to a whole new world. I felt Ethan's heartbeat as we pulled apart. His eyes full of his childish nature, so brilliant and strong. We were still learning to love, how to break and fall. Five years. That's what it took to have the most amazing person in the world by my side. I'm never saying goodbye, I will be there every step of the way, through the darkest nights and brightest days.  I kissed him again, it wasn't long, but it had so much love in it. We pulled away, and pressed our foreheads together. A camera flashed, Ethan abs I jumped, not expecting Amy to take a photo. Ethan hid his face in my chest, his cheeks flushed with a red tint, his hand clinging to my shirt. I shook my head at him and turned my attention to Amy and Mark as another song came on. Amy always tried to take pictures of us. Ethan was already a shy person, and even shyer when it came to showing affection around other people.

But Ethan still clung to me, like a child and his blankie. He was too cute for his own good. We all hung out at Mark's for awhile, we told them about the new house, we could move in a week to two weeks, and I was very happy. They said they would help us move, and we all agreed. Ethan and I headed home after Tyler and Katherine left. Ethan was still clinging to me, which I didn't mind. I least I knew he trusted me. But there seemed to be something in his mind, I wasn't gonna push it, but I still wanted to know. I wanted to make sure my blue bird was okay. I rested my hand on his knee as I pulled out of Mark's driveway.

"Everything okay Ethan?" I glanced at him, then back at the road.

"I was just thinking about something..."He mumbled the last part.

"Please tell me Ethan, I want to make sure your okay." He wouldn't make eye contact with me.

"(M/N).... have you ever thought about us having kids? I just...I don't why, but I want to adopt one, give it a better child hood than what you had."

"Ethan, I would love to have kids with you. But, let's have the wedding and move into the new house, before we start thinking about that. We have to have our shit together, before we can bring a little kid into it, so we can give them as much attention as they need." I smiled, happy it wasn't something bad. "But what ages were you thinking? Genders, or how many? There's a lot to go through." I squeezed his knee, keeping my eyes on the road.

"I thought you were gonna say no." I could see him smiling at me. "I thought because of how young we are you woul-"

"I just want to make sure both of us are ready. A kid is a big responsibility. I don't want you to be overwhelmed. I love you, and I want to make sure your going to be happy Ethan."

"I love you too (M/N)." Ethan was holding my hand, his hands were always so cold. We pulled off the highway to our apartment. It was still pretty early in the evening, so I wasn't to concerned about getting to bed right away. Grabbed my stuff and then caught up with Ethan. He opened the door and stepped in. I dropped my backpack by the door and pulled off my shoes. Ethan disappeared into one of the recording room. I went to the bed room and started packing up some of my stuff. I labeled boxes and taped them shut, pushing them into a corner of the living room. I packed some of the stuff in the kitchen, like serving plates and the things we never really used except for holidays. Again, I labeled and tapped them, pushing them into the same corner of the living room. I ended up cleaning again, to be honest, I was really stressed. Between the house and the wedding, and then the thought of preparing for kids, my brain was fried. Not to mention my lack of sleep. I figured I'd record some more videos when Ethan was done. I needed something to get my mind off of things. My phone ringing jolted me out of my thoughts.

"Hello?"

"Hey (M/N), this is Stacy, your real estate manager!"

"oh, what's up?"

I wanted to up date you on the house, you guys will be able  to move in on Sunday!  Four days and I'll drop off the keys."

"Coolio, thanks Stacy."

"No problem (M/N)!" I ended the call. I then sent out a message in the group chat, letting them know we were moving in Sunday. I packed up our DVDs, and the other little nik naks that were around the house. I wrapped them in newspaper and taped it to keep them together. I put the extra sheets, blankets, and pillows in a box. I rolled up rugs and duck taped them shut. Slender arms wrapped around my waist, Ethan pulling me into his small frame. I turned around and put my arms around him, setting my forehead against his. He was smiling at me, sleepiness covering his features. He was in pajamas, wearing one of my shirts which was much too large for him. I picked him up, caring him to the bedroom.

"Come on, you need some sleep blue boy. We've got a lot to do tomorrow, we get to move in Sunday." He smiled at me again as I set him down on the bed. I pulled the covers over him, kissing his forehead. I pulled in his phone and turned off the lights, shutting the door quietly behind me. I recorded some videos,  probably too many, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about it then. I went to bed after that.

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Everything is Blue (Ethan Nestor x Male reader) [part 13]

(M/N) POV

I woke up on the couch, Ethan in my arms. I remembered earlier, we were both dressed again, but he was out cold. I smiled at my blue angel, and picked him up. I put him in bed, but I wasn't tired. I gently shut the door behind me, walking out into the kitchen. It was about 4:30, but time moves fast in LA, so there was already traffic on the roads. I needed something to do, but that wouldn't be loud so I didn't wake up Ethan. I decided to make breakfast, after all, we fell asleep in the early afternoon. I took my time, making omelets, sausages, and French toast. It was a little past five now, I set out the stuff on the table, and headed into the bed room. Ethan was still asleep, but remembered to plug in our phones, so I did that. I then decided to take a shower, I had nothing else to do. I dressed in a pair of acid wash skinny jeans, a gray button down with blue flowers on it, with the sleeves rolled up. I slipped on a pair of shoes and brushed my hair and teeth. I stepped out into the bedroom, to find Ethan gone. It was about six now, and I figured Ethan had found breakfast. Which I was correct, he was happily enjoying the French toast.

"Morning Ethan." I kissed his cheek, and then grabbed a cup of coffee. "Remember, we have that house thingy today. We've got to be at the first one at 10:00."

"Your ever so descriptive with your words (M/N)." Ethan had a smirk on his face, I just rolled my eyes at him. We finished breakfast and Ethan went to get dressed and I began to clean up. A loud thud came from the bed room, so like a normal person, I went to go check. Ethan has tripped over a coloring pencil and fallen flat onto his face. I stifled a laugh and helped him up, I went back to what I was doing after that.

~~~~~~~a few hours later~~~~~~~~~~~

We'd seen a couple houses at this point, but we had already settled on One. It was pretty good size, good area and such. But what we liked most, it was a couple blocks away from Mark. We put in an offer, and we'd know the answer in a couple of days. We were meeting up with Mark to film some videos, something about tie dying and Oreos. We were stuck in traffic again, Ethan's hand in mine. He knew how much I hated traffic, but I still put up with it. It was just a part of everyday life in LA. One of Ed Sheeran's song LEGO house, I knew all his songs very well. I couldn't help but sing along.

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces, And build a Lego house, When things go wrong we can knock it down. My three words have two meanings, There's one thing on my mind, it's all for you." I glanced over at Ethan, he was looking out the window, humming along.

"And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got ya to keep me warm. And if you're broken I'll mend ya, And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now." I put my focus back on the road, turning to the exit we needed.

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love. I'll pick you up when you're getting down. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now. I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind. I'll do it all for you in time. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now." I squeezed Ethan's hand, this song always made me think of him.

Ethan POV

(M/N)'s voice. It was always around me, I loved the sound of it. I couldn't help but hum along as he sang.

"I'm gonna paint you by numbers and color you in

If things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall. And it's so hard to say it but I've been here before. And I'll surrender up my heart and swap it for yours." He squeezed my hand, I did the same back. I couldn't believe just how much I loved this man.

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love, I'll pick you up when you're getting down. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now. I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind, I'll do it all for you in time. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now." He smiles at me, that smile I loved so much. He turned back to the road.

"Don't hold me down. I think my braces are breaking and it's more than I can take. And if it's dark in a cold December, but I've got ya to keep me warm. And if you're broken I'll mend ya. And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now." We got to a part with less traffic, and were able to move a little faster.

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

I'll pick you up when you're getting down

And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now. I'm out of sight, I'm out of mind. I'll do it all for you in time. And out of all these things I've done I think I love you better now." I rested my head against the window, his voice soothing me to sleep.

"I'm out of touch, I'm out of love

I'll pick you up when you're getting down

And out of all these things I've done, I'll love you better now." He stopped singing, and Yeah I rubbed my eyes sleepily. "I love you Ethan."

"I love you too (M/N)." We turned onto the road where the office was, then turned into the parking lot. I rubbed my eyes again, ready to face whatever Mark has come up with this time.

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Everything is blue (Ethan Nestor x Male reader) [part 12]

(M/N) POV

Ethan and I stayed like that for awhile, just holding each other. I cried a lot, but he kept telling me everything was going to be okay, that he loved me, and nothing else mattered. I've never really cried like this before, the last times were when I first met Ethan in person, and the night he stayed on the phone with me all night. I felt like I had to be strong for him, that I had to act like a man, but I don't. He loves me for me, and I love him for him. It was just him and I in the whole world, he was my moon and stars, my galaxy full of a million stars. I slowly pressed my lips to Ethan's, and he kissed back. We did that for a short while, our lips moving in sync. Stray tears still fell down my cheeks, and a few fell from Ethan's blue-green eyes. We both jumped when there was a sharp knock at the door. Ethan got off my lap looked at his phone. We hadn't noticed that Mark, Amy, Tyler, and Katherine had been trying to get a hold of us. The knock came again as I got up grabbed my phone. I had dozens of missed calls and texts. Ethan opened the door, Mark, Amy, Katherine, and Tyler were standing there.

"Hey, sorry our phones were on silent."

"Are you guys okay, you look like you've been cr-"

I cut Amy off "Don't worry about it, come in guys, you don't have to stand in the hallway." They came in, Amy still looking at us slightly concerned.

"Is everything okay?" Mark questions, "it's not like either of you to just go offline for that long."

"We're good, just got distracted."Ethan gave a thumbs up. Mark gave Ethan a look that said bull shit.

"Since you guys are over, what do you wanna do?"

My phone rang again, it was a hospital in Maine, I answered it.

"Hello?" I spoke hesitantly.

"Is this (M/N) (L/N)?" Asked the lady on the other side.

"Yes, what's going on?"

"I regret to inform you that your mother, Karen (L/N), has been in car accident, and is in critical condition. You are the only name on the list of emergency contacts. What would you like us to do, we have her medical papers, but there is some information we're missing. Would you mi-"

"By her words, I am not her son. I would like not to be involved with anything that envolves her in any way, shape, or kind." I hung up and dropped my phone to the counter. Mark was looking at me weird.

"What was the call about." Ethan asked

"Mother, car accident, critical condition, blah blah blah. Wanted me to fill out missing information, don't care enough to even try."

"Your not going to help your mom?" Ethan motioned for Mark to be quite, but he didn't get the hint. "Why not."

"Mark, my mother is the only reason I'm in California, the only reason I met Ethan. When I came out, she tried ruining my life. She spread rumors, got me kicked out of school, and I wasn't safe at home because of her. She kicked me out, I was depressed and suicidal for years after that. My brother took me in, let me live with him and his girlfriend till I finished high school, he got me back up on my feet. But every time I answer a call from her, she rips me a new one every time. Lime today when she called, Ethan and I were in the car, and she'd seen the video of me proposing to him. Telling me how I was a disgrace to the family, that it was wrong to be me. She wanted me to break up with Ethan, to stop being gay. Fuck her, fuck my entire fucking family. I don't care nor need them. They never wanted me, so why would I want them?" Everyone except Ethan looked shocked. I'd never told them this ever, it I'd said it in a flame of rage. Ethan wrapped his arms around me in a hug,   trying to comfort me. I gave him a small smile, and he let go.

"I'm sorry, I didn-"

"it's okay Mark. I never really told Ethan the full extent of it till a couple months ago. But he's been there for a lot of it. He helped me through a lot of things over the years. I wouldn't want it any other way." I kissed Ethan's forehead and he blushed. He grabbed  onto my shirt, putting his face in my chest. I twirled my fingers in his hair, gently pulling at the brown locks. We had moved to the couch at this point, Ethan sitting in my lap, his face in the crook of my neck. My grip was tight around Ethan, my heart pounding. I Knew why, I had all these thoughts swirling round in my head, ones I shouldn't have when the others are around. I know Ethan could tell, but he just kept pulling me closer, and his breath against my neck was driving me crazy. But I carried on the conversation with Mark, I told him we would see them Saturday, and they left.

Avert your eyes young readers, this is not what a reader as young as you should see.....

Ethan POV

I knew I had been driving (M/N) crazy, and I'd seen the way he was looking at me. I walked back towards him, he was texting his brother Tony.  He was completely engrossed in what he was typing, he didn't even notice when I was on my knees in front of him. I placed my hand his bulge, his  breath caught in his throat, and he lowered his phone.

"E-Ethan..." (M/N) has said my name so much, but never like that. It made feel different, but it was a good different. I started rub him through his jeans, trying my best to be gentle, yet firm. (M/N) tossed his phone to the other side of the couch, and kissed me. He was always so gently, even when I didn't want him to be. While he kissed me, I was struggling to get his belt undone. When I got the belt and his pants undone, I pulled away from the kiss. He tried to pull me back in, but I wouldn't let him. I hooked my fingers around the waist band of his pants and boxers, and tugged him down. I got a sudden burst of confidence, and started running my fingers over his tip, down the side, and back up again. I leaned forward and gently took his tip in my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. He groaned, and it just spurred me on more. I started to bob my head up and down, increasing speed. The sounds that were falling out of (M/N)'s mouth alone we're gonna be enough to make me cum, just being able to touch him like this made my body react in its own. His hand was in my hair, a tight grip on it.  I went down as far as I could, and started swallowing around him.

"Fuck... E-Ethan, I'm c-close" I could tell he was trying to keep it all together, but he wouldn't last much longer. I kept bobbing my head faster and faster. I felt his grip tightening on my hair, I went as fast as I could, and he came in my mouth. I swallowed and pulled off of him, he was still hard.

"Ethan... you know you don't have to do that right?" He seemed so timid, and it was adorable.

"I actually like doing it," I confessed," but (M/N), there's something I need you to do.."

I was sitting in his lap, his cock resting against my sweatpants. "What do you need Angel." His forehead was pressed to mine, his hands resting on my ass. I kissed him, pulling him close, then whispering in to his ear.

"I want you to fuck me~" the look on his face was priceless, he then flipped us and pinned me to the couch. He yanked my shirts off, and then attacked my neck. I was helpless underneath him, and he left as Many hikeys and love bites as he could. I loved it, but I needed him down lower. I pushed against him, he seemed to get the message. He sat up, immediately undoing the tie on my sweatpants. I couldn't help that spread to my cheeks as he freeded my member. He leaned up and kissed me, gentle pumping my member. He was kissing my neck again, it was driving me crazy.

"Are you sure you want this Ethan? I don't want to do anything that you don't wanna do." I nodded, unable to form words.

I felt his tip at my entrance, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as he pushed I . He was going slow, but I could tell he need this as much as I did. He waited for me to adjust, and then gentle began to thrust. And you can assume what happened from there.

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Everything is blue (Ethan Nestor x male reader) [part 11]

Ethan POV

I was laughing my ass off from (M/N)'s antics. He always had a joke at the ready, or trick up his sleeve. He leaned down and kissed me, something he doesn't usually do on camera. He pulled away and ruffled my hair, exiting the recording room. Words can not describe how much I loved this man. I don't know what I would do with out him. He's been here for the last four years, he was always there for me. I met him when he thought there was nothing left in the world for him. His family hated him for being gay, he was depressed and suicidal. I checked on him everyday, for months we went through that routine. I will always remember one night though. It was late, I couldn't sleep, and I had been ignoring call all day from people. But when (M/N) called me, I picked up on the first ring. He was emotional, but not crying. He refused to cry. I talked him through it, I stayed up till six the next morning just to make sure he was okay. From that day on, we called every night. I made time for him anyway I could, and started to fall in love with him. I'd always thought he wouldn't love me though. He was gay, but I didn't know what type of people he was into, or even he saw me in that light.

And I remember the night I told him everything. He didn't hesitate in responding. He was the first person I came out to before Amy. I felt so safe when I was talking to him, and I felt even safer when I was in his arms. I wanted to spend my life with him, till we crumbled to dust. This was the man that I had fallen in love with four years ago. The guy that I watched change into this amazing man that wasn't afraid of anything, that didn't care what people say. He was so happy to be who he was now. And I couldn't help but smile whenever I thought of him.

I ended my stream and hour late, and got ready to leave and go see wedding venues. There were three we were looking at.

Where dreams come true

Garden dreams

Wood land loving

~~~~~~~~~~Time skip~~~~~~~~~~~

The first one was really over the top. It wasn't us, both me and (M/N) agreed on that. The Garden one was beautiful, but what if it rained? And it was a little small. We weren't planning to have a super big wedding, but even for the number we had already decided on, there wasn't enough room. The third one, woodland something, was perfect. It had room for dancing, it was good for indoor/outdoor use, and it just felt....magical. So we rented it for September 12. I sent pictures to Amy, and she said she loved it. (M/N) grabbed my hand and led me back to the car.

"We have an appointment for picking up the cards love. We can send them out today if you would like."

"Yeah, are you going to send any to your family?" I knew I had to tread carefully, he didn't like talking about them, and I understand why.

"I'll send one to Tom, but I could care less about the others."

I squeezed his hand, and he smiled at me. I couldn't help but blush. He made me feel like I was always on cloud nine. I woke up next to him every morning, went to sleep next him at night, spent almost every moment with him.  He was my Prince Charming, a knight in shining armor. He was everything I wanted and then some. He did all the house work, which I tried to help, but he wouldn't let me. He treated me like a king, and I do my best to make him feel the same.

(M/N) POV

Ethan seemed distracted. He was staring out the car window, looking at the rolling fields. He was thinking about something, but I couldn't tell what. My phone buzzed, and it jostled him out his thoughts to look at it. It then started buzzing as if there were a million texts coming through. Ethan expression changed when he was reading them. He now looked really sad, I could barely focus, I can't do anything when my blueberry is sad.

"(M/N)..." Ethan said looking up from the phone, "it's your mom."

"Just ignore it" Ethan set it down, but it went off again, only constantly buzzing. It was a call.

"It's your mom, do you want me to ignore it?"

"I'll give her five minutes to talk, if she's says something I don't agree with, then I'll just hang up and turn my phone on silent." Ethan nodded and put the phone up to my ear.

"(M/N) Francesca (L/N), what the hell do you think your doing? How dare you dishonor me in such a way. Your a disgrace to this family. How dare you Marry him. How can you be so mean that you wou-"

"Shut the fuck up. I did not ask for your opinion, nor do I care to fucking hear it. You kicked me out and disowned me four years ago. It's my life, my choice, and I'm going to marry who ever the duck I want. I don't care what you think, I don't care what the rest of the family will think, and I don't care if I disgrace the family. I'm not part of it and have no interest to be part of it."

"You listen to me and listen to me good. Your going to bre-"

"Bye" and I hung up, "I'm so done dealing with her Ethan. Why can't she just leave me alone. I love you, we have a life together, why would I want to throw away something I worked so hard for."

Ethan grabbed my hand,, "it doesn't matter, is she didn't want you back then, why should you want her now. Everything will be okay. I promise." I squeezed his hand.

"I believe you. Your my world Ethan....you mean everything to me.  I'd do anything and everything to keep you in my arms."

We drove the rest of the way to  pick up the invitations, then went to the post office and mailed them, then went to the grocery store. We picked up a few things we needed, like Tylenol and coffee. Then headed back to the apartment. It was 3:00, we missed lunch, but that was fine. We had some coffee and blueberry muffins, and sat down on the couch together, Ethan's head in my lap. I was absentmindedly  running my  hands through his hair. I was completely lost in my thoughts as I scrolled through my phone. After a while, I noticed Ethan had fallen asleep, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Your little brother never tells you but he loves you so, you say your mother only smiles on her tv show. Your only happy when your sorry head if filled with dope, I hope you make it to the day your twenty eight years old."

Ethan POV

I heard (M/N)  singing, he hasn't down that in awhile...

"your dripping like a saturated sunrise, your spilling like an overflowing sink. Your ripped at ever edge but your a master piece, and now your tearing through the pages and the ink." There was a lot of emotion in his voice, I knew the call with his mom shook him up a little, but I didn't know if this emotion was from it.

"Everything is blue. His pills, his hands, his jeans. And now I'm covered in the colors pulled apart at the seams. And it's blue, and it's blue. Everything if gray. His hair, his smoke, his dreams. And now he's so devoid of color he don't know what it means. And it's blue, and it's blue."

(M/N)'s hands were running through my hair, twisting it around his fingers, and then letting it go.

"You were a vision in the morning when the light came through, I know I've only felt religion when I've lied with you. You said I'll never be forgiven till your boys are too. And I'm still waking every morning but it's not with you."

(M/N) kissed my forehead, his hand grabbing my mine.

"You're dripping like a saturated sunrise, your spilling like an overflowing sink. Your ripped at ever edge but your a masterpiece, and now your tearing through the pages and the ink."

(M/N) trailed off, sounding distant, but yet so close. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, tell him everything would be okay. I'd opened my eyes at this point, but he hadn't noticed.

"You were red, and you liked me because I was blue. But when you touched me, I became a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn't for you..."

Tears were  rolling down (M/N)'s face, leaving wet trails behind them. I gently squeezed his hand, and he jumped a little.

"What's wrong (M/N)?"

"Dont worry about it Ethan"

"I can see that your upset. Your crying, and you have so much emotion in your voice, you can't hide it from me"

Thats when (M/N) pulled me into his lap and sobbed into the crook of my neck. I held him close, I wanted to him to know that I loved him. About twenty minutes later, his cry had almost stopped.

"I'm sorry Ethan"

"What do you mean"

"I can't even hold myself together, I'm a mess. I can't think straight, I can't focus. I feel so lost....all I want to do is hold you until we fall asleep. I want to ignore the rest of the world, I just want to be free from my family. They don't care about me, so why should I care about them?  I can block out everyone in the universe, but you and sometimes them, are the only ones who bring me to my knees."

I pulled (M/N) forehead to rest against mine, and I softly kissed him. I was determined to make him feel better, no matter what it took...

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Everything is Blue (Ethan Nestor x Male reader) [part 10]

(M/N) POV

I woke up, hearing Ethan in the shower. He was singing, he always did, and I thought it was adorable. I rolled myself out of bed, pulled on a pair of sweatpants, and grabbed my phone. I walked out of the bedroom, and head to the kitchen to fix breakfast. It was six am, the latest I've woken up this week. I got out eggs, waffle mix, and sausage. I had started to play music as I cooked, and I didn't even register that Ethan was behind me.

"...He was red, and I was blue. But when you touched me, I became a lilac sky. And you decided purple wasn't for you..."

"...Your dripping like a saturated sunrise. Your spilling like an overflowing sink. Your ripped at ever edge but your a masterpiece. And your tearing through the pages and the ink..." I hadn't expected to hear Ethan behind me, and I slightly jumped when he wrapped his arms around me. I leaned down and kissed him. Slowly pulling away, I never thought I would care about someone this much. I'd always been told that I couldn't love who I wanted to, that I had to fit the mold. But Ethan, and the Markiplier team, made me realize I could be who I wanted to be, love who I choose, do whatever the fuck I wanted to do. As I looked at Ethan, I knew I could never not love him. He flowed through my veins, he was in my brain, and he held my heart in his hands. He is the love of my life, and that will never change.

I kissed Ethan's forehead, then returned to cooking. He continued to sing, and my heart fluttered at the sound of singing, being a blue angel. I'd met Ethan four years ago. I was going through a dark time, I had just came out, and everyone turned on me. I had to go live with my brother, Tom, because he was the only one that expected me. Then I met Ethan on Twitter, he was there when no one else was. Through the years, we got closer and closer. And I think back to a year ago, when I was so scared he wouldn't love me back, that he would reject me, and our friendship would be ruined.  I was snapped out of my thoughts when Ethan kissed my cheek. He always knew when I was lost in my thoughts, and he always brought me out of them.  I finished the waffles and the bacon, then started cooking the eggs. Ethan made some coffee, and passed me a grey mug, while his was blue. Everything I owned was some color of the rainbow, and pastels, or grey(mostly grey), while Ethan owned mostly blue. Sometimes we were polar opposites, and then we're alike in so many different ways.

"Ethan," I said as I put food on two plates, "I love you."

"I love you more"

"I love you most I win."

Ethan only giggled, a fucknormus grin on his face. We sat down to eat, music still playing. I pulled him from his chair when 'Hearts don't break around here', by Ed Sheehan.

"...shakes my soul like a pot hole, every time. Took my heart upon a one way trip, guess he went wondering of with it. Unlike most men I know, he will bring it back whole." Ethan's head was resting in the crook of my neck, his hands on my chest, my arms around his waist. We stayed like that for awhile, until the song ended, then we finished eating. I got ready for the day, pulling on a black t-shirt, black ripped jeans, a purple flannel tied around my waist, black combat boots, and a purple beanie. Quoting Ethan, I looked like an enderman. He was wearing a a blue t-shirt under my  hoodie, a pair of jeans, and blue converse. He always had my hoodie on, even if it was a million fucking degrees out side, he still wore it. I knew why, he liked that it was so big on him, it was oversized on me, but it was three times his size. Ethan went to go record som videos, (I had already pre-recorded mine for the next couple weeks), while started on cleaning up. I did the dishes, wiped down the kitchen, swept and mopped, then vacuumed, and started laundry. When I cleaned and Ethan wasn't busy, he always tried to help, but I wouldn't let him. It wasn't that I didn't want his help, he just did so many little things for me. Some weeks it was flowers, or he'd plan a date, or he'd bring home my favorite treats. I never just expected nor told him to do it, he just did. I didn't want him to have to lift of finger with any of the boring things that just came with life. As I was folding laundry, I heard his laugh come from the other room where he was recording. It always made me smile, that's why I never asked him to clean. He was so happy, I didn't want to make him to something so boring. And besides, I really enjoyed cleaning.

I finished up all my tasks, so I sat down and started to scroll through YouTube comments on the video of our proposal. They were thousands and comments congratulating us, asking when the wedding was, you know, just the common things people ask. I did see some bad ones though, so I deleted them. There was no need for people to say things like that, it was our lives not theirs. But I also understood that I had but my life on the internet, so there would always be hate. But I take the good with the bad, it's just a part of life. A short knock came at the door, I set down my phone and cautiously opened the door. It was a UPS man.

"Are is this the address of (M/N) (L/N)?" the man asked

"Yeah" I replied.

He handed me a small package, and I immediately knew what it was. The rings.

"Thank you" I said as I signed the paper, and then he left. I opened the box to make sure they were in good shape, and I couldn't help but smile when I saw Ethan's ring. It was a black band, with 'I love you' engraved on the inside. The outside had jewels in the pattern of the rainbow. It was breathtaking, and all I could do was hope Ethan liked it. Mine was much simpler than his. It was black, with opals on it, so that when the light caught them just right, it would make tiny rainbows. I put them back in the box, them but in  the draw of my bedside table. I heard Ethan laugh again. And I made a decision right there and then. I knew he was live streaming, so I could have a little fun with this. I went to our closest and pulled out a nerf gun, and started walking towards the shut door. I opened the door, he didn't even hear me, but his stream did. I aimed and shot, knocking his head phones off. The look on his face was fucking hilarious.

"You gonna get me back, or just sit there with you mouth open love?"

He grabbed his nerf gun from under his desk. It was much smaller than the one I had, but he was good with it. It went on like that for awhile, waiting for someone to make a move, then Ethan's phone rang. He looked away to see who was calling, and the burg bullet whizzed right passed him onto the wall. By the time his senses put him into motion, I was already behind him. He squeaked, a sound I rarely hear come from him. And then I started tickling him. He was so gonna get pay back on me later, but for now, I won. I wouldn't change this relationship for anything.

[patrick-ships]

Everything is Blue (Ethan Nestor x male reader) [part 9]

Lemon warning! If you do not wish to read, skip to next bold heading

Ethan POV

After the food testing, (M/N) drove us home. He was quiet, which isn't usually like him. I grab his hand, the one that wasn't on the steering wheel.

"What's wrong (M/N)? Your not usual this silent." He glances over at me, and smiled.

"I just.....I'm hoping the wedding bands came in the mail today while we were away. They were supposed to come in the mail two days ago..."

He sounded distance, mind returning to he was thinking about. He leaves the highway, turns down a couple streets, and then into our driveway. He didn't even give me a chance to get out. He parked and got out quickly, then threw open my door and picked me up.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Just like old times."

"I'll never stop. Your so tiny it's easy." He kisses me after that. I don't know why, but my heart always starts to beat fast, my stomach gets butterflies, and I start to turn red. I don't know what comes over me when he does that, but I don't want him to stop. He pulled away, and started to carry me into the house. I don't know what came over me, I never really initialize kisses, but I just couldn't help it. We had entered the house and he'd set me down and shut the door. I pushed him against it and kissed him. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss. I was nervous, very nervous. Sure, me and (M/N) had made out before, but it wasn't like this. It felt deeper, stronger. It also felt like he was holding back, like he was afraid to take control of our current situation.

And then I realized why he was holding back. He had pulled me even closer, and that's when I felt his bulge dig into my upper thigh. We pulled away, for heads touching, trying to catch our breath. There was a dark blush across his cheeks, and something in his eyes seemed different, I've never seen him look at me like this before. I rested my cheek against his, I knew he was holding back, but I didn't want him to. I don't want him to be gentle with me.

"(M/N), don't hold back, please..."

I heard his breath catch, I was scared I'd gone to far.

"Are you sure Ethan? Once I start, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

"Please" I knew I sounded desperate, I couldn't help it. My heart was racing, and mind was still cloudy from our make out session. That's when he flipped us, so that I was pushed against the door. He placed his soft pink lips on mine, and it turned into a deep passionate kiss. He licked my lips, asking for entrance, I teased him and kept them shut. He grabbed my ass, causing me to gasp, and pushed his tongue into my mouth, where they rested for dominance. He won of course, he pinned my arms above my head as he started to kiss down my neck. He let go off my hands long enough to take my shirt off, then put them back above my head. Kisses and sucked gently, until he found my sweet spot and sucked on it a little hard, leaving a big hickie. I was trying so hard to moan, but it was getting hard with every hickie he left. I finally broke, and let a loud moan. I felt him smirk against my neck, as he then bite down, causing another moan to fall out. I never really thought I would like pain during sex, but I guess I did. But thing again, I haven't experimented a lot either. He kissed me again, pulling me out of my thoughts, he'd let go off my hands, and i ran them through his hair. I gasped as he grabbed my bulge and started to palm it. At this point, I fucking melted. I'd never had anyone do this to me, and it felt amazing. He started to undo the buttons on jeans, deepening the kiss, and then my jeans dropped to the floor.

(M/N) POV

I dropped Ethan's jeans to the floor. I was trying to go slow, he was new to this. I grabbed him through his boxers, and his grip on my hair tightened. I started to kiss my way to his V line, while I continued to palm him. I then picked him up bridal style, and carried him to the bed room and gently laid him down on the bed. I started kissing his thighs, then I grabbed the waist band of his boxers and dragged them down with my teeth. His cock sprung out, and he was as red as a tomato. I tossed his boxers somewhere in the room, and laid so I was resting between his thighs. I took him in my hand, and pumped him a few times. I could see him bite his lip as I started to kitten lick his tip. I took him in my mouth, and swirled my tongue around him. I bobbed my head up and down, loving every noise that came out of his mouth. He was an average size, so it wasn't to hard to deep throat him. His moans got more frequent, mixed with curses. I went all the way down on him, and started to swallow around his cock. His hand was in my hair, gripping it tightly.

"(M/N), I t-think I'm gon-" before he could finish his sentence, he came in my mouth. I swallowed his cum, and gently licked him clean. I pulled off him. He looked so dazed  and out of it. I smirked at him and kissed him. I had closed my eyes for the kiss, but suddenly he was on top of me, pinning me underneath him. He was still blushing and out of breath, but he took no time to take off my shirt.  He tried doing what I had done to him, but my sweet spot was a lot harder to find than his was. He did mind it though, and bit down on it, leaving a bite mark and a hickie.  Ethan kisses down my chest, and made it to the belt on my jeans. He was struggling to get it undone, I could tell he was nervous. I undid my belt for him, Ethan then finished getting jeans undone, and pulled them and my boxers off in one movement. He looked my cock and his eyes widened.

"E-everything okay Ethan?"

"Yeah, your just really big." He said that as he wrapped his hand around the base of my cock. He gently kissed my tip, then started to suck on my tip. He slowly started to take more of me into his mouth. He Bobbed his head up and down, taking as much as he could into his mouth. What he couldn't get in his mouth, he pumped with his hand. As he got faster, more moans fell from my mouth. He had managed to get more of my cock in his mouth, he was slightly chocking on me.

"Fuck. E-ethan." I knew that was driving him crazy. My grip tightened on his hair. I couldn't hold back anymore, and came in his mouth. His eyes widen out of surprise. I let go of his hair, and pulled my cock out of his mouth, and swallowed my cum. He kissed me, hovering just above me, and then I flipped us so he was on bottom. I began to leave more hickes on his neck and chest.

"(M/N)." Ethan said breathlessly, "c-can we go all the way?" He looked at me so innocently, I could never bring my self to say no to him, but I have to, I don't want to hurt him.

"Ethan....I don't think your ready. It can hurt so much, and I don't want to hurt you..."

"p-please" I'd never seen Ethan like this. He was sweating and panting, and his eyes had a pleading look.

I bit my lip "if it hurts too much, tell me to stop, okay?"

Ethan nodded, a deep blush forming on his cheeks. I lined up with his entrance, and slowly started to push into him. He gripped my forearms, tears pricking his eyes, but he didn't tell me to stop. I'd gotten about half way into him when pulled me down to kiss him. By the time we stopped kissing, I was all the way in him. I lightly stroked his cock to get his mind off the pain. After a couple moments, he pushed his hips against me, signaling I could move.  I slowly started to thrust in and out of him, getting a little fast after a couple thrusts. Ethan was a moaning mess. And I'm pretty sure he's gonna leave scratch marks on my back. I started to go faster, increasing speed as I went along. Ethan's voice was all most gone from moaning and cursing. I was getting close, but I wanted to make Ethan cum first. As I thrusted, I started to pump his cock. Within a couple minutes, he came all over both of our stomachs. I kissed him as I spilled my seed inside him. I pulled out, and laid next to him. Both of us were panting and sweaty.

Ethan's POV

(M/N) was right, it had hurt. But the pleasure after the pain was worth it. I was so tired though, I could barely keep my eyes open. I felt (M/N) pull me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I remember him kissing my head, and then I passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~<~the next day~>~~~~~~~~~

I woke up clinging to (M/N). Then remembered last night and I turned red. I got up and took a shower. I heard (M/N) moving around, then the smell of bacon. It's a good day when it starts with bacon.

[patrick-ships]

Everything is Blue (Ethan Nestor x Male reader) [part 8]

(M/N) POV

the following days were a blur, I was so fucking happy to have Ethan. He was my everything, and I was going to make him mine, for as long as he would love me. Every minute I thought of him, I was like a love sick puppy. I'd never been happier in my life, every time I looked at Ethan, my love only grew. Ethan and I had started to plan the wedding, it took more time and planning than I thought it would. We set the date for September 12, it was only two months away, we were trying to quickly get things in place.  Amy and Mark went with Ethan to help him pick out a tux, and Tyler and Katherine went with me. We had decided on a beauty and the beast themed wedding, so blue and yellow would be pretty easy to come by, right? Fuck no. Yellow turns out to be very hard to find, let alone one that isn't for a fucking child.

Ethan's POV

The tux I picked out was very simple. It was a white shirt with navy blue pants, a patterned blue jacket, a matching bow tie, and blue shoes. I knew (M/N) was taking care of the flowers, and on Thursday we were going to look at possible venues, which (M/N) already said he had one in mind, so that was good. And then two weeks after that, we were looking at apartments, because ours wasn't currently big enough for what we wanted to use it for, but we could take our time on picking one out. Mark was driving, I was to distracted to focus on the road. My mind was swirling around in incoherent thoughts.

"Ethan," Amy said, "are you okay? You seem upset."

I smiled at her, "I'm just nervous. I've known (M/N) for so long, we've been through so much as friends, then dating, a-and I guess I never really thought I would be doing this. Planning a wedding and all."

Amy smiles and squeezed my shoulder, "it will all work out, okay? I see the way he looks at you. Even when he's angry, he softens when he speaks to you. When (M/N) is upset, just the sound of your voice fixes him. He's always there for you, he's there all the time, even when you don't want him around. You fit together perfectly, and everyone can see that." She paused, then continued. "When you came out to us, you were so scared and adept alone. But when Mark brought (M/N) in for a video, you clicked with him immediately. And you never really notice the small things he did because you were too nervous at first."

I looked at Amy puzzled, she only chuckled.

"He would make sure there were you favorite snacks around, he would run errands for you, even when he didn't need to, even when they were way out of his way. He was un-afraid to comfort you when you were upset, even in public. Just all the little things." Mark glanced at me, then continued. "One of the biggest moments to me, was when you fell asleep after a live stream, and he carried you to his car, drove you home, and put you to bed. He didn't have to do that, he could have waken you up and made you find your own way home. But he didn't, he's always been so gentle and kind to you."

"That was the night we got together." I paused, smiling to myself, "I was a mess. I'd woken up after he lugged in my phone and it beeped. I grabbed his hand and asked him to stay, and he did. A-and he thought I was asleep, and confessed his feelings. I made him jump when I said I felt the same." I knew I was blushing, but I didn't care.

"So that's what happened," Mark said smiling, "neither of you told us exactly what happened. But that's what me and Amy mean, he didn't have to stay the night with you. And I know he had been nervous, he had been planning to tell you all day. But then you fell asleep, and I'm guess he got so nervous he could only confess to you when he thought you wouldn't hear it."

"(M/N) was there when I thought everyone wouldn't like me for being gay. I thought he was always just an ally, but then I found out he was gay too." I smiled, looking out window and blushing. "And then I found out that his family didn't accept him like mine did, and I couldn't understand how he could be so happy all the time. A couple months after we had been dating, I came over to his apartment to surprise him. He'd just gotten off the phone with his mother, s-she'd said so many awful things to him. It was the first time that I ever saw him cry. I'd never seen that side of him, he'd seen me crying so many times, and it didn't phase him, he always treated me the same. And I guess it made realize that I didn't that side of him, I didn't know much about his family. We spent a couple days after that, just telling each other whatever we could think off."

"See, through everything he's put you first, both of you are there for each other. Your a perfect match." Any said happily smiling.

"Yeah, your right." I said, beaming at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~at the cake/food tasting place~~~~~~~~~

(M/N) POV

Tyler, Katherine, and me were stuck in LA traffic. If you've never been in that, it's fucking hell. The people are polite, but it takes hours to get anywhere. I was currently driving, but kept getting distracted because my hair kept falling in my face.

"Hey Katherine, can you put my hair into a bun so it's out of my face." I said holding up a hair tie.

"Yeah, also, Mark's car is next to us, Amy and I have been filming each other through the window."

Katherine then proceed to put up my hair into a manbun. I could see Ethan turn red. He loved when I put my hair up, I've always teased him about it, which only made it worse. I winked at him out the window, which caused Mark to laugh as Ethan turned even redder. After a couple more minutes, we were at the catering place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After parking the cars and grabbing the stuff we needed, I slung my arm around Ethan's waist, pulling him close to me. I felt his hand grip onto my flannel, he always did that, I've never known why, but made me smile even more. We walked up the steps, and entered through the door, and a really fucking loud rang, and Ethan jumped. Mark and Tyler had to stifle a laugh.

"Hello, You must be (M/N), right? " the lady behind the desk said, "follow me."

We followed her to the back of the shop to a little patio, where we all sat down around a big circular table. The lady first brought out a platter of different cake, icing, and filling samples.

"We took extra care in making sure all the ingredients we chose did not contain any of the food allergies listed."

"Thank you for that." Ethan said, still holding onto me. We then started picking out flavors we liked there was:

Pumpkin

Chouclate

Vanilla

Lemmon

Carmel

Red Velvet

and Blue berrie

Mark and Amy wanted the pumpkin, Katherine and Tyler. I liked the blueberry, but we let Ethan decided, and boy, was I happy. He ended up choosing pumpkin, with yellow icing, and pink flowers. Turns out, he had already been looking at cakes and knew exactly what he wanted.

He'd drawn it out last night, it was amazing, and we all agreed on it.

The lady, Margaret, then brought out different drinks:

Spicked apple cider with cinnamon

moscow mules

honey crisp apple singrias

hot apple cider

cinnamen rosemary old fashionds

and Coffee

none of us could really decide, but we ended up settling on coffee, hot apple cider, and spiked apple cider with cinnamon.

we chose sweet potato fries, tater tots, and bacon rapped carrots for appetizers.

Then Ethan chose steak and asparagus, snow crab, and cheese ravioli.

Amy and Katherine picked out the desserts. They chose vanilla cupcakes, candy apples, and apple pastry puffs

After that we all headed back home to get some sleep.