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pattooon · 8 years ago

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“I don’t think we’re working out…” Hyungwon sighed as he put his hands in his jeans pockets. Your smile disappeared.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“I… Just think… That.. We, uh…” Hyungwon couldn’t find the right words to explain the situation. You looked closely at his expression.

Though you wanted to deny that instinct, you gathered the courage and slowly asked him, “Is there… someone else?” Hyungwon bit his lower lip and swallow hard.

It’s been a month since there was a few changes in Hyungwon. He texted or called you back late. There were no more good morning or good night texts. Most of the time, you’d be initiating on the kissing. Even when you kiss, you felt the forceful vibe from Hyungwon. You were already suspicious but did not want to say anything. But a week ago, you went to Hyungwon’s apartment and saw diamond stud earring on his carpet. It was not yours. And Hyungwon himself doesn’t have piercings. The suspicious grew. And he lost his own smell. Rather lately, he often smell like a girl’s perfume. The perfume smell is from the same girl, you guessed. You wanted to deny that thought away but unfortunately, the day finally came.

“Hyungwon~” you called. He sighed and looked up.

“Yeah. I met her through a friend. You don’t know her.” He admitted.

You felt the hard pang inside of your heart. Your eyes, ears, cheeks and hands turned warm. Your vision also started to blur. Hyungwon avoided looking you, afraid he’ll turn weak seeing you cry. You closed your eyes and tears ran down your cheeks. You wiped it before it reached down to your jawlines. You sniffed and cleared your throat. With a heavy sigh, you took off your couple ring.

You took his hand and put it in his palm. Hyungwon looked up at you. You smiled, “Live happily, Chae Hyungwon.” You caressed his cheek one last time and turned around, sniffing. You cried even more as you walked away.

You’re the type to not go ballistic in difficult situations. You’re a very calm person and only expresses moderately according to place and time. Though the break up was an intense situation and you felt like cutting your own heart, you knew going mad won’t change how Hyungwon felt to you or the girl.

After the break up, you and Hyungwon literally cut contacts. Though you’d see him with his new girl at places since both you and him live in the same city, you quickly avoid him as soon as your eyes see him.

One day, Wonho came to see you after work.

“Hey, ____.” He called. You stopped and turned around. You smiled, “Hey, Wonho! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long.” You and Wonho hugged. You two pulled back and he smiled down at you.

“You look good.” You said.

“When was I not?” Wonho responded. You laughed and shook your head, “You’re still an ass.”

Wonho laughed back. “How are you?” He asked.

“I’m good.” You nodded. “You and the gang?”

“They’re doing good too.” Wonho replied. You smiled, “That’s good to hear.”

“Speaking of so, I’m making a birthday party at my house. I’m inviting you.” He said. You were excited hearing the birthday party, but your expression dropped as you remembered Hyungwon will be there. Though you did not noticed, but Wonho was looking carefully at your expression. He was well aware of the situation of you and Hyungwon.

“Um.. well, you are one of my good friends too. It’s just wouldn’t feel right without having you there.” Wonho explained. You smiled at his thoughtful thought.

You sighed and squeezed his arm, “I’ll try to make it.”

Wonho looked up with a bright face, “Really?”

You nodded. “Yeah, most definitely.” Wonho pulled you into a hug.

“I totally understand if you can’t go. But we miss you. We really do.” He pulled back. He held you by your shoulders, “We really miss you.”

You smiled softly. “I miss you guys too.” You said back. You and Wonho pulled into another hug. Before Hyungwon and you became an item, you were friends with Wonho as you took the same course as he did. But even ever since college, the two of you had always been just really bestest friends. Never more. You felt warm in Wonho’s embrace. His hug gave an apologetic vibe. You knew why he was apologizing. But both of you said nothing and he held you close.

The next week came and it was the day of Wonho’s birthday party. You decided to go. You did not really have a choice. Wonho’s your good friend and you felt like; just because your ex and his girl were going to be there, it doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life for their sake.

Since it’s a pool/bbq party, you wore a simple pink sun dress with black flats.

You arrived at Wonho’s house. Wonho comes from a rich background. So, his house is one of those you see in pamphlets. Big mansion like houses. You entered his home and it was already crowded with people. Some you knew from high school, some you knew college and there were new faces as well. You greeted them and came through the crowd.

You arrived at the kitchen and found Wonho there. You gave him a backhug. He screamed joyously as he saw you over his shoulder. He turned around and gave you a proper hug. “You made it!”

“Of course I made it, you dork.” You pinched his nose and shove him his present. Wonho thanked you and brought you outside where the bbq food were at.

You saw the others there. Including Hyungwon. And his girlfriend. You took a deep breath as you got closer to them.

“Guys, look!” Wonho beamed. Jooheon and I.M looked up from their plates while Shownu, Kihyun and Minhyuk turned around from the grill. Hyungwon lifted his head and saw you beside Wonho.

She came… Hyungwon’s inside suddenly turned warm seeing you. Especially when you’re wearing cutely like that.

“Oh my god, _____!” Minhyuk screamed as he ran over to you. He gave you a bear hug and you laughed as he squeezed you. After hugging Minhyuk, you walked towards Jooheon and I.M. Jooheon looked up at you and puckered his filled-with-sauce lips and made kissy sounds as a greeting. You laughed and pinched his cheek. I.M held out his fist with a smile and you bumped your fist with his. You gave a nice, simple hug to Shownu and Kihyun as they complimented on good you looked. Hyungwon kept his eyes on you as you greeted all of his friends.

Finally, she arrived at Hyungwon. You shot a sincere smile.

“Hi, Hyungwon.” You held out your hand. Hyungwon looked at you with nervous eyes but managed a smile. A hand shake?

Wonho and the other six members exchanged glances.

“Hi.” He shook hands with you.

“Hello there.” You held out your hand at his new girlfriend. Hyungwon looked at you.

*What is she…*

Hyungwon’s girlfriend looked up from her phone and stared at you. Confused, she smiled and shook hands with you. “Hello.”

“I’m _____.” You introduced yourself.

“Danbi.” She introduced herself. “I’m sorry, but who are you?” She asked. The two of you let go of each other’s hands.

“I’m a really close friend of Wonho and the gang.” You said.

*Wonho and the gang?* Hyungwon blinked.

“Ah, I see. How come I never heard of you?” She asked.

Wonho and the other six kept their attention on your interaction with Hyungwon’s new girlfriend.

“I’ve been away. And I asked them to not talk about me so that nobody would ask.” You lied. Hyungwon stared at you as you made that lie. You felt his stare but ignored it.

“Ah.” Danbi giggled. “Makes sense.”

“You’re very beautiful.” You complimented. And you meant it. She was tall; a few inches down from Hyungwon’s height, unlike you, who’s consider a midget next to your ex. Not only did she had the height, but it goes the same for her beauty. She had an image of a model. Which you thought fitted well with a model-image like Hyungwon himself.

“Thank you. You’re very cute.” Danbi replied.

You giggled, “Why, thank you.”

“Oh, I need to go to the bathroom for a sec. Excuse me.” Danbi excused herself.

Wonho too excused himself to go attend his other guests. He did not forget to remind you to make yourself at home. You chuckled and nodded. With an encouraging squeeze of your hand and nod, he let go and went away.

Thank God for the other boys, they made you felt at ease while you were there. You acted like you always do, the friendly and talkative person you are and to your dismiss, it was killing Hyungwon.

How come she looks so…. Hyungwon can not find the words to explain what felt at that moment. He was so confused. He was the one who broke up with you. Why is he the one disturbed by your presence?

The whole night was so uncomfortable for Hyungwon. But he kept his cool for Wonho’s sake.

Just then, you came in the kitchen with Hyungwon and Danbi’s presence there too. You came in at the moment where Danbi fed Hyungwon some meat she took outside from the food table.

You gulped and looked down. You took a deep breath and looked back up. Danbi noticed you and greeted you, “Oh, hi.” You smiled and gave a nod, “Hey.”

Suddenly, Hyungwon coughed.

“Is it spicy enough?” Danbi asked Hyungwon. Hyungwon coughed and nodded. He kept on chewing though it hurt his throat.

“It’s not really that spicy for me. I want more spiciness. I think they have hot sauce outside. Wait.” Danbi quickly ran out to the food table.

You looked at the dying Hyungwon and chuckled. You opened one of the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a glass mug. You walked over to the fridge and poured some milk in the mug. You walked over to Hyungwon and put the mug to his lips. You tipped it and he drank it. The image looked as if a mother trying to save her son that was dying from tasting hell in his mouth. “You must really love her.” You said as you let go of the mug after he held it with his own hands. He pulled the cup away from his mouth.

“What?” Hyungwon blinked at you.

“I said, you must really love her.” You repeated.

“Why do you say that?” Hyungwon asked.

“You know that you don’t eat spicy food well. But you let her keep shoving you. I assume you must really love her.” You explained. Hyungwon swallowed hard.

But you assumed wrong.

Hyungwon replied, “You don’t know Danbi. She’s kind of pushy. She’ll sulk all night if I don’t eat it. And you know how I suck at approaching sulking people.”

You smiled down. You looked back up and reached out your thumb to his lips. You slid your thumb across his upper lip, wiping his milk mustache. Hyungwon felt electric shock running down his spine.

You softly looked at him. “You don’t suck, Hyungwon-ah. You’re just a bit slow but it works.” You nodded with a smile.

Hyungwon opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted when Danbi came back. You smiled and excused yourself. Hyungwon looked at you as you walked away.

The rest of night went on until 3 in the morning. Hyungwon and Danbi excused themselves. After sending Danbi home, Hyungwon was on his way back to Wonho’s house and was hoping really hard that you would still be there.

To his luck, you were.

Wonho was walking you out to the door. “Are you sure you don’t want me to send you home?” Wonho asked you.

“No, thanks. The busses are still available at this hour.” You rejected his offer.

Wonho and you bid goodbye. You arrived at the bus stop and sat there in the cold, waiting.

Just then, a familiar car stopped in front of the bus stop. You squinted your eyes to see who it was.

Hyungwon turned off the engine and stepped out of his car. He walked towards you.

“Oh? I thought you went home already.” You said. Hyungwon said nothing and took off his jacket.

He stood you up and made you wore the jacket. You said nothing as you naturally wore his jacket.

“Come on.” Hyungwon took your hand and led you to his car. Hyungwon closed the door at your side and went to his side.

He started the engine and drove. As he drove, he said nothing. There was a dead silence in the car. You did not feel awkward or anything bad, just a little flustered and confused. ‘What is on his mind’, you kept thinking.

Soon enough, the two of you arrived in front of your apartment. Hyungwon sighed as he changed the gear to P.

You looked at him. Hyungwon kept his head and eyes in front. Not meeting your eyes.

You sighed and brought your legs up on the seat. Thank God for your short height, you fitted nicely as you hugged your legs and turned your body completely, facing Hyungwon.

“Talk to me.” You said.

“Could I ask you something?” He finally spoke.

“Of course,” you nodded.

“Did you find someone new?” Hyungwon turned and looked at you.

You shook your head. “No, why?”

“Do you…” He paused.

“Do I what?” You waited. Hyungwon suddenly turned away from you. You saw Hyungwon’s jaw tightened. You knew what he was about to ask, but he couldn’t say it out loud.

“Yeah, I still love you.” You confessed. Hyungwon’s slightly dilated. He looked up and turned his head to you.

“Is that what you want to hear?” You asked. Hyungwon was left speechless. He didn’t respond.

You sighed. “Look, Hyungwon. I love you and I still do. But I’m not willing to get hurt anymore. I’m doing well. Really, I am. The only reason I came tonight was to show love for you and the boys. You guys are still really close and good friends of mine. But…” You paused.

“But?” Hyungwon looked at you.

“But that’s it. I just want to focus on me now. I just can’t right now. So- Mmpf!” Hyungwon shut you as his lips touched yours.

He adjusted his head with yours and gently held the back of your neck. Kissing for a good 10 seconds, you and him pulled back. He put his forehead against yours. You felt the warmth on both your lips and forehead. You never realised how much you’ve missed his kiss until he kissed you.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong. I love you.” Hyungwon whispered, choking on his tears. Your eyes became watery and it blurred your vision.

“I’m just not ready now. I.. just.. can’t.. I’m sorry too and I love you too, Wonnie-ah.” You apologised and pulled back from him.

You sniffled while taking off his jacket. Giving it back to him, you unlocked and opened the door. You stepped out and walked up to your apartment. Hyungwon’s jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth. His tears streamed down his cheeks and he hit the steering wheel with a groan.

You’re so stupid, Chae Hyungwon!

You arrived at your house and cried even more. You held your lips, remembering the feel of his plump lips on yours. You rest your back on the door. You slid down and hugged your legs.

I’m sorry, Wonnie-ah.

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