pbjhellyeah

[pbjhellyeah]

Hi all, my name is Eurydice. I'm 23 and currently homeless with my dad and my dogs.

I've never been someone to ask for help but it's hit a point where I'm not sure what else to do. It's been almost two years and honestly I'm desperate for things to change. I start a new job in July that will help me get back on my feet but until then I just don't have enough to get us through.

Honestly not sure if anyone will read this or care, I understand if no one does.

But my PayPal is staygoldemails@gmail.com

I would appreciate any and all donations and if you can't donate I totally understand. I feel ridiculous even having to ask. Thank you🫶🏻

[pbjhellyeah]

I third this

It’s getting to be cold and flu season… send me your fav sick and hurt/comfort hcs

[pbjhellyeah]

TW: beating, blood

STOP IT maybe their parents were out one night and Darry took the opportunity to apologise bc he would still never let his parents know under any circumstances.

it would've been after dinner and pony and soda were in their room minding their business, feeling content but after all they were dealing with, constantly on edge. it traumatised them so bad :(.

Darry knocked on the door and there was no answer. they hadn't said two words to him in days. he gingerly opened the door and walked in, trying his absolute best to not seem intimidating, but as soon as he entered, Pony and soda both shot up, and soda swiftly pulled pony close to him, as if darry was a complete stranger. they both stared at darry with the same look of pure hatred and cautiousness. This sent darry into a quick state of dissociation, because they were looking at him the way they'd look at the other socs. that made darry finally realise he was one of them, he was becoming the very epicentre of his brothers' fear.

"what?" Soda asked, on high guard as if facing down a shark or a bear.

"when the guys and I give y'all a hard time," darry began, "y'know I don't mean anything by it right? but I'm s-"

"don't mean anything by it?!" soda interrupted, letting go of Pony and walking up to darry. "So when you ripped up the essay I spent six hours workin on you didn't mean anything by it? When you called me stupid and said I wouldn't amount to shit in my life you didn't mean anything by it?" Soda was furious at this point, getting consistently louder as if a dam of fury had broken inside of him, "WHEN YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING BLACK EYE YOU DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT? WHEN YOU DAMN NEAR BROKE PONY'S WRIST YOU DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT?"

Truthfully, darry was a little afraid, he had never seen soda in this state, and couldn't bear to acknowledge he was the one who put him there. "Soda, I'm so sorry," darry reached out to pull soda into a hug as he would've done when they were kids, but Soda wasn't taking it. He twisted darry's arm, almost breaking it, completely debilitating darry's movement, and pushed him full force into the wall next to them. Darry slammed against it and fell to the floor. He felt blood dripping from his nose. He got to his feet and said defensively, "this is the reputation you're giving yourself, and that ain't anyone's fault but yours."

Soda was so angry it was making him physically nauseous. He punched darry right on his already damaged nose. He then grabbed darry's shoulder and punched him in the stomach, making him fall to the floor. Soda didn't stop there. Darry was miles stronger than soda, but in that moment he had no way of defending himself. Soda beat him to a bloody pulp. He'd never normally be violent, and he'd certainly never be violent in front of ponyboy, but his judgement was so clouded by rage that he just kept going, sobbing as he beat the living hell out of his once favourite person.

He only stopped when pony yelled through tears, "Soda please stop, you're gonna kill him!" And if pony wasn't there, that could've happened. Soda stood up and stared down at what he'd done. Darry was drenched in blood, bruises forming all over his body, and he was crying. Out of fear. He never cried, especially out of fear, but he was so convinced he was going to die at the hands of his kid brother.

Soda knelt down beside him, and said, "you feel that Darrel? That's what you did to me." He then turned to ponyboy, but stopped. He kinda stumbled backwards a few steps, and he fell to his knees and started to bawl. Every single emotion had bubbled to the surface, and he felt so damn mixed up. He kept losing his breath amidst his tears, sat against the wall he had slammed darry into, hugging his knees like a frightened child. At this point, darry had regained some strength, and again, reached out to hug soda. Soda didn't relent this time, but he didn't hug back either. He just simply allowed darry to hold him, and profusely apologise about what he had done, Pony joined the hug soon after, and they all kinda just sat on their bedroom floor, sobbing and apologising. and although all this didn't fully fix their relationship with darry, they knew how truly sorry he was.

OMG SO when Darry was friends with all those socs he would bully Sodapop so bad in the halls with them. Sodapop would be against the wall sitting on the floor from being shoved by Paul, looking at his big brother expecting him to help him. Darry felt a pang in his heart but he laughed with his friends and called him dumb and stupid, just like everyone else. Soda cried so hard.

They wouldn’t pick on Pony as much (mostly because Darry was to embarrassed for his friends to go to his house) but when they did it was so horrible. Pony, who was so small being in the middle on a circle of big soc boys and his big brother. Being shoved around. Eventually Soda would try and help him but still-

Darry feels so horrible for what he did when he was a “dumb teen”

DUDE i could talk about this for HOURS-be careful or you might open the floodgates

He’d make sure to be “lighter” but he also always told his brother if h they told their parents he’d kill them and it got to the point where Soda would purposefully avoid going the same routes in school as Darry beating he didn’t want him or his Soc friends beating him up. Soda would cry so hard his throat hurt and he wouldn’t speak to darry for days, no matter how many times he apologized. Soda was already depressed in school and he didn’t need his own flesh and blood telling him that too. They never told their parents, but he also wouldn’t let his parents near his soc friends because he found his dad’s happy and goofy personality embarrassing and he found his mom to be “too much” around his friends so he’d always either go out or sneak out.

Little twelve year old Pony too just being in the middle of this ring of Soc boys, Darry could see the fear in Pony’s eyes too and just felt horrible. But he just went along with it and told Pony to not be so weak and to stick up for himself…it got to the point he let one of his friends burn Pony’s favorite book and didn’t do a thing about it as Pony wailed for his big brother to make it all stop and Darry just stood there.

He does everything he can yo make it up to them now. He’s VERY careful with his words now with them (Pony isn’t a reliable source so there’s some wiggle room between canon and not) and he’ll sometimes randomly jsut ask his brothers like “you know I’m sorry? You know I never meant it..? You know I love you, right..?” and he gets so close to just crying. It literally keeps him up at night sometimes.

I will ramble about this.

[pbjhellyeah]

pony's the type to never under any circumstances sleep with his bedroom window shut. it could be mid January with a literal blizzard outside and he'd still have it cracked open, bc he feels suffocated when it's closed.

[pbjhellyeah]

fucked up how Darrell was on his way up in the world, everyone knew he'd go far, life came along it had different plans, how quickly a dream falls apart. ever think about that

you know what else is pretty fucked up? Johnny has no kind of chance in this world, not from where he's had a start. who knows how far in his life he could go if he played a different part. isnt this all pretty upsetting. good god

[pbjhellyeah]

There is something absolutely magical about the way Sky and Brody sing together

[pbjhellyeah]

i was just listening to run run brother and yk the overlapping vocals in the second half of the song? it's made up of lyrics from both tulsa '67 and far away from tulsa. the punctuation of the lyrics isn't rlly any different from how they were originally sung (maybe slightly more ominous) but I've picked up on an ever so slightly mocking undertone. it's Pony and Johnny successfully making it out of tulsa which is supposedly what they've always wanted, except now it's not. now they just want everything to go back to how it was. the song is mocking them by repeating their words, "this town, it only holds you down, there's judgement everywhere," the town is no longer holding Pony and Johnny down and is instead encouraging them leaving for their own good, and in windrixville there is not 'judgement everywhere' so they've escaped that too, but now they have to live with their internal judgement of knowing what they did only hours earlier. run run brother highlights the naivety of Pony and Johnny's desires and gives them what they want, but at what cost? waffle or nah? i can't decide💀

[pbjhellyeah]

curtis bros hcs because I'm locked out :(

- soda is so insanely good at chugging drinks, darry will get him a glass of smth, turn around for five seconds and it'll be gone.

- darry has such a fascination with little trinkets like tins or lighters. he has a collection of them in his room.

- pony once found a spider in his hair when he was 9 and ever since has been paranoid that they've always been there. sometimes steve will mess w him and pretend he sees spiders and pony hates it so much.

- soda has such a natural feeling of rhythm and time involving music. because of this he's an incredible dancer and no one knows where he got it from. this also means he's throwing a lil dance step into everything he does, it may not even be intentional, but the guy was just born to move.

- when darry was around 12 he went through a phase of wishing he had a rlly outlandish name like his brothers did. but he got over it after a few months bc he was so proud to be named after his father.

- (kinda canon but) whenever the gang would play football pony INSISTED that darry was on his team and if he ever even made a hypothetical point of switching teams then pony would straight up dip and walk off in a huff💀

- soda has the biggest habit of eavesdropping on strangers' conversations and will always add his input even if only he can hear it. "Can you believe he said that-" "that's outRAGEous" as he struts off thinking he's a comical genius.

- when darry went on that gymnastics course all the instructors absolutely adored him. they loved how down-to-earth he was and they just knew he would be able to do anything they taught him. he kinda became the golden student and was constantly being used as an example of perfect form and all that.

- pony has attacked soda in his sleep so many times. he's the type to move around alot in his sleep so he's always accidentally smacking soda in the face or kicking him as he's changing sides, and everytime soda complains about it he denies it without fail.

[pbjhellyeah]

I keep thinking abt what would've happened if Darry and Soda actually decided to go look for Pony after he ran off and they end up rescuing him and Johnny and then they all live happily ever after🙏🙏 (minus the tension between Pony and Darry but that's beside the point))

reckon I'll turn it into a fic once I get a minute away from prepping for college

[pbjhellyeah]

there's such a lovely yet heartbreaking similarity between death's at my door and throwing in the towel that rlly sums up the shared mentality between Darry and Pony. they're both so incredibly hopeless and feel as though they're the epicentre of all that's gone wrong. Pony says, "Johnny can't you see I've brought this on?" while Darry says, "I've run this family right into the ground." on top of this, they share the same initial response to their mistakes, which is that everyone would benefit from their absence or maybe even their death. Darry is so upset and frustrated at himself for driving Pony away, and Pony thinks he's dragged Johnny into his fate and is going over all the other possible outcomes that would result in them being safe in Tulsa rn. Darry says to Soda, "maybe you'd be best without me," which is such a contrast to how he acted in runs in the family reprise, where he used leaving his kid brothers as an ultimatum to get them to respect him. Now he genuinely believes they'd be all the better for him being gone, and possibly goes so far as to wishing his parents were there in his stead, because they would never hit Pony. This is while Pony tells Johnny, "you should move on, you'd be better off without me." I think over months after their parents died, Pony subconsciously picked up on Darry's newfound solemnity and began to act with the same mindset, which has led them both to seeing themselves as burdens upon their loved ones, with their only purpose being to distance themselves from everyone in order to stop their friends from getting hurt.

quick psa I haven't seen the show and probably won't for a very long time (living in England sucks ass) this is just what I gathered from the two songs :D

[pbjhellyeah]

It was late, well, early. Really early. Way gone midnight, and the Curtis household was silent as could be.

Darry was sat at the foot of the couch in the living room, his legs stretched out in front of him, and his hands rested in his lap. He never actually sat on the couch, he had always preferred the carpet, he enjoyed the grounding nature of it. He used to sit on the floor between his mom and dad who would be on the couch. He would often be there while Soda and Pony were sound asleep, it would be hours past his bedtime and little Darry would try as hard as he could not to move, hoping his parents would forget he was there so he could stay up longer. A plethora of beautiful memories took place at the foot of the couch in the living room, and Darry would sit there to replay them whenever he had time to himself, which, given the circumstances, was becoming more and more infrequent.

Darry found himself sat there on a crisp, summer dawn. He hadn't meant to stay awake to an extent which would inevitably leave him in an irritable mood the following morning, but sometimes he couldn't help it. He missed his parents dearly and that was more efficient than a blaring siren to keep him from falling asleep.

The only thing that could possibly interrupt his tide of thought in that moment was his kid brother's attempted soft footsteps. Darry knew immediately that it was Sodapop, as he identified his walk, which had no precision, and was overall a reflection of his clumsy nature.

"Why are you awake, Soda?" Darry asked, with slightly less urgency than at a bright - eyed hour.

"Why are you awake, Darry?" Soda asked back, trying to replicate his older brother's tone. He usually wouldn't be so quick to tease Darry before assessing his mood, but he figured there was nothing to lose this time.

"Couldn't sleep, wanted to think instead, next best thing." Darry explained, "Is Pony asleep?"

"Yeah, I was careful not to wake him getting outta bed but ya know the kid, sleeps like a rock."

Darry smiled at Soda, thankful he didn't wake Ponyboy up, but he could sense in Soda's body language that something was up. He was hovering and rocking back and fourth on his feet, usually something he'd only do when he wants something.

"Is there something you want? It's not like you to be awake before necessary."

Soda kept his gaze fixed on the floor and spoke softly with a hint of embarrassment.

"I... I had a nightmare. Scared me right outta my mind, Darry." Soda said, worried about his brother's reaction.

"I get them too, little buddy, no need to be lookin all bashful like that."

Soda grinned a soft grin and finally met Darry's eyes, not with his notorious playful expression, but more with a puppy expression, similar to Johnny. Darry knew what this meant and was more than happy to carry out Soda's seemingly silent wishes.

"Wanna sit with me a while?"

Soda's eyes lit up and he steadily walked over to where Darry was, and sat himself down on his right side next to him. He was ecstatic at the very notion that they were sat next to eachother, and wasted no time snuggling into Darry, his head rested on his shoulder and his soft, non greased hair unintentionally stroking Darry's neck, slightly tickling Darry, but giving him no incentive to move away.

Darry reciprocated his kid brother's affection by putting his strong arm around Soda's shoulders, bringing him closer into his space.

"You feel better kiddo?" Darry asked with a softness he usually reserved for Ponyboy.

"Mhm, much better thanks." Soda replied.

They stayed snuggled for a little while and boy, they could've easily dozed off, until Soda moved his right hand to rest on Darry's tummy. Darry's eyes snapped open with a start, and his stomach began to tense at the well known feeling that was beginning to overtake him.

Now Soda wasn't the sharpest tool in the box when it came to people's emotions, but he knew his brother well, more so knew that his brother's stomach was insanely susceptible to even the slightest ticklish sensation. Soda grinned and Darry saw it in the lamp's light, which was confirmation of his spontaneous plot. Darry tried to move away, but Soda had already slipped his hand to the other side of Darry's waist, and was keeping him firmly held.

"Well I'll be," Soda exclaimed, acting a fool, "big, bad Darrel Curtis is ticklish?" He proceeded to move his hand around Darry's stomach, occasionally scrunching his hand to quicken a reaction out of his brother.

Darry always tried to maintain his respectable personality, no matter the hour, and found that increasingly difficult as his kid brother was squeezing his tummy, desperately trying to get a giggle out of him.

"Soda stohop it you knohow I'm ticklish," Darry grimaced, valiantly trying not to let Soda get the best of him.

"You? Ticklish? Since when Darry? Ya can't just drop a bombshell like that!" Soda maintained his surprised act, although he was well aware Darry was ticklish, and it had been far too long since he had exploited it. "I'm just tryna help you relax Darry, ya pull all kinds of muscles carryin that roofing, I just gotta make sure you're okay."

"I'm fihine Soda just stohop touching me- HEY!" Darry's pleas had been interrupted by Soda abruptly pouncing on top of him. Darry now found himself staring up at his brother, feeling real helpless as Soda was sat on his legs, restricting any chance of getting away.

"You take such good care of us Darry," Soda teased, "I just need to make sure you're in good shape to work. Now let's see." Soda tried to resume his tickling, but Darry was hugging himself around the middle, in a desperate attempt to shield himself from his kid brother's ruthless fingers. "Darry your arms are in the way man, I can't properly look at ya if they're there."

Darry quickly caught on to what Sodapop was implying, and began to panic while trying not to show it.

"Soda don't you dare you know I'm stronger than you, you can't pin me,"

"Is that so?" Soda asked with a smirk. Truthfully, Darry was right, he was stronger than both Soda and Pony, and he used it to his advantage when tickling the two, but he was already weakened by Soda's initial attack, and so he couldn't be shocked when Soda grabbed Darry's wrists and pinned them securely above his head. Soda stared down triumphantly at his big brother, he constantly tries to wreck him with tickles, but Darry is always two steps ahead.

"Stronger than me huh? You sure mister?" Soda used one hand to keep Darry's wrists in place, and used the other, without warning, to dig into Darry's tummy.

"Noho SODA STAHAHAP IT!" Darry was full blown laughing now for the first time in a long while, and Soda was overjoyed to see it. He was constantly changing his tickling strategy, he poked, squeezed, tased his sides, and grinded his knuckles into Darry's ribs. "SODAPOHOP PLEASE HAHAHAHA YOU'RE GOHONNA KILL ME!"

"What? Like you've not nearly killed me and Pony when tickling us? I told ya I'd get payback. Now where else are you ticklish. Here?" Soda pinched Darry's side, earning a yelp and a slight wheeze. "Here?" He started lightly scratching under Darry's belly button, to which Darry also yelped, while trying to buck Soda off of him, but to no avail.

"STAHAHAAHAP IT I'M GOHONNA WAKE UP POHOHONY!" Darry pleaded, scrambling for an excuse to be let go.

"Darry not even a hurricane could wake that kid don't you worry yourself." Soda slowed down his antics to think about where next to strike. He started eyeing Darry's armpits, which he knew were unbearably ticklish. If he and Pony were feeling brave, they would swipe a finger across Darry's armpit whenever the opportunity arose, except they would always be wrecked soon after.

Soda walked his fingers up Darry's torso and stopped just below his armpit. He wanted to savour the moment of his brother pleading with all his might for him to let him go.

"Soda no no no please not there you've gotten your payback just don't go there," Darry tried to sound intimidating but in reality he was biting back a grin, and was squirming around trying to get free. "It won't be worth it Soda, I know where you're ticklish and you know I will," Soda had a slight sense of doubt, but then again, Darry would tickle him regardless of whether he was tickled, so there really was nothing to lose.

Soda was wiggling his fingers a couple inches from Darry's armpits, simply enjoying his brother's anticipation giggle, which Soda found real endearing. It was like Ponyboy's laugh, only more gruff and deep. It was a real rarity to see Darry like this, even for his brothers. Darry was known in Tulsa for his strength and tough demeanour, even the gang was reluctant to say things to disrespect him. And so to see him fall victim to his kid brother's playful attack was a crazy notion that even Soda himself was shocked by.

"Plehease Soda please dohon't tickle me I cahan't take it," Darry continued to beg amidst his giggles. Soda's fingers were getting closer and closer to his armpits and the anxiety was driving him insane. "Stop it stohop it no no no no no NO!"

"Damnit Darry I ain't touching ya calm down, you'd think by the way you're acting I did this," Soda quickly ran a finger through Darry's hollow, getting a hugely amplified reaction. "Or this," Soda scattered his fingers quickly and painfully soft.

"SODASODASOHODA STAHAHAHAP IT STAHAHAHAP IT PLEAHAHAHSE!" By this point Darry was squirming as much as he could with his restricted movement. It tickled like crazy and he was past the point of embarrassment, more at the point of sheer lack of tickle tolerance.

"Or THIS!" Soda attacked Darry's armpits with a newfound energy, clawing, scattering, squeezing, everything possible and it was safe to say Darry couldn't deal.

"QUIHIHIT IT SOHAHAHADA I'M BEGGING YOU PLEAHAHAASE I'M GONNA DIEHAHAHA!" Darry was past the point of no return, he was red in the face, his laughter was fluctuating from silent to full on high pitched screaming, and tears were forming in his eyes.

Soda could see Darry was essentially fighting for his life and sympathy began to take over.

"If I let you go you're gonna promise you won't tickle me. Least not right now, wait until I can use Pony as a decoy." Soda negotiated, still going ham on Darry for the last few seconds.

"OH MY GOHOHHOD I PROMISE SOHOHODAPOP JUST LEHEHET ME GO!" Darry hollered, becoming increasingly short on breath.

"Haha okay okay, whatever you say." And with that, Soda let go of Darry's wrists and got off his legs to go sit next to him.

The second Soda let him go, Darry's arms shot to his torso defensively, he looked at least five years younger and was still giggling minutes after Soda let up.

"You okay Dar? You were screamin as if a bear was maulin ya."

"Shut uhup Soda, don't rub it in," Darry's voice was shaky and breathless, yet undeniably full of life and happiness. He loved Sodapop dearly and although this wasn't a way he expected them to spend time together, he was glad they did nonetheless. He lifted his arms to cover his red face and layed like that until he regained his composure.

"I ain't heard you laugh like that in a minute, you need to be wrecked more often." Soda said, affectionately patting Darry's tummy. His grin was almost as wide as Darry's was. He always saw too much of his brother's stoic side, and he had missed his playful side real bad.

"I oughta forgive you this one time Pepsi Cola, but if you tell Pony or anyone else about this, you're gonna regret it. Savvy?" Darry really didn't care if Soda told the gang about this, he just wanted to regain his position of tickling power over his kid brother.

"The gang I can assure ya won't be told about this, Pony on the other hand should know. I gotta have him on my side when the opportunity comes up."

"Get back to bed Soda, and don't wake Pony." Darry instructed, his youngest brother's best interest constantly at heart.

"Darry, if your screamin didn't wake him up, nothing can," Soda got up and turned to walk back to his room before turning to face Darry, who was still on the floor, "except maybe us if we ganged up on him."

Soda stayed turned around, pondered it for a second, and dashed back onto the carpet to pull Darry into a bear hug. The two didn't hug too much anymore, which really upset Soda who loved hugs more than anything.

Darry instantly returned the hug and was over the moon about it. He held onto Soda's head and ran his fingers through his hair. He loved Sodapop, and he didn't tell him nearly as often as he should.

"You know I love you okay Soda? Don't you forget it little buddy."

Soda grinned from ear to ear, if there was one thing he loved more than hugs, it was his brothers. "I love you too, Darry. Don't forget it in your old age."

"Wise guy," Darry chuckled and messed up Soda's hair. "Now go to sleep okay? I'll see you in the morning... well, in a couple hours."

Soda finally got up and returned to him room, shutting the door and successfully not breaking Ponyboy out of his slumber.

Darry stayed sat on the carpet a while longer. After all that happened to him, he silently thanked the world for Soda and Pony, because he loved them both. More than anything.