( * ░ &&. –– ❝ i. when my blood spilled d o w n the temple steps, were you glad ? when my wedding robes dripped scarlet,, did you regret it, or did you smile ?
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there was the slightest head tilt in response to adrien's skepticism. it wasn't the first time that they've been met under scrutiny for extending out generosity. it always caught them by surprise, feeling a bit saddened that it was most likely due to the counterpart simply not being used to receiving such gestures. their hand fell back grasp on the strap of their bag once the water was taken. at least ozzy wasn't met with stubbornness, adrien clearly needed to hydrate at the very least. 〝 you can still build character while having someone intervene. 〞ozzy muttered the words, attempting to defend their own actions. 〝 i think it's just human to want to try to help, no? 〞ozzy understood that not everyone could extend an olive branch. some people would see trouble and keep walking, simply knowing they wouldn't be of assistance. hell, ozzy wasn't one to speak up in every situation. there's been times where they kept their head low, gaze linked to the floor and keep walking past.
survival kit seemed like a dramatic claim up until the other downed the water as if he'd been starved of h2o for days on end. ozzy couldn't help but to smirk in response, feeling a bit gloated by the mission successfully being achieved. even if it helped just a little, it made the whole interaction worth it. 〝 i think if i went through the day without always having an emergency bag of gummy bears – well, i'd be much more miserable, 〞the concluded with a sturdy nod, confident in the fact. the tools were for themselves, sure. ozzy liked to be prepared, but they even more enjoyed when their tools worked for someone else too. a smile then spread across ozzy's lips in response, dark hues fluttering back to the painting in question. a laugh left ozzy's lips next, giving a defeated shrug. 〝 tough critic, hm? maybe that was the point – y'know, life reflects art or whatever. 〞
adrien didn’t answer right away. just stared at the water bottle like it was a prop in someone else’s play — generous, domestic, wildly out of place in the chaos of his morning-after unraveling. his mouth opened, then closed again, his expression flickering between amusement, suspicion, and something dangerously close to gratitude. his fingers brushed against ozzy’s when he took it, deliberate but not quite flirtatious, like he was testing if they were real or part of the installation, before he lifted it halfway in a mock toast. “you know,” he said, tilting the bottle like it was a fine wine instead of warm plastic fetched from a bag, ���most people walk past a guy clearly on the verge of spiritual collapse and assume it’s character building. you — you offer electrolytes and gummy bears. that’s either saintly or suspicious.”
“i think this might be the most nurturing thing anyone’s said to me all week.” he squinted at the bottle like it was a foreign object in his hands, unfamiliar to the act of random kindness. “and that includes the nurse who threatened to sedate me. the water is enough.” he took a sip — small, cautious — like water might betray him somehow. his voice dropped a notch, still playful, but tinged with something tired and sharp around the edges. “you always carry around a little survival kit, or am i just a lucky bastard?” there was glitter on his knuckle too — where the hell had that come from? he didn’t remember touching anything glittery. he rarely did. like any good disaster, he had a knack for gravitating toward kindness just enough to keep himself from imploding. he cracked the seal and drank like he’d just remembered hydration was a requirement for living, then let his head fall back with a low, almost reverent sigh. his head tilted toward the painting again, sunglasses slipping down just enough to flash a hint of bloodshot against his hues of brown. “do you think the artist would be offended if i said this looks like my hangover feels?”
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true disdain probably wasn't something ozzy was capable of. they didn't even dislike devon, really, they'd still do anything for her if it came down to it. but they were simply too polarizing to get through a full conversation and seeing the other perspective. it was like pushing two magnets together that scientifically could never click, simply feeling the force negate any attempt of breaking down walls. they couldn't help but feel defensive, it was as if everything she stood for was a direct attack on ozzy's qualities. and that… hurt, whether they'd like ti admit it or not. 〝 i highly doubt that. 〞ozzy muttered under their breath, never being one to say something with his full chest. well, unless it was something excitable. 〝 it's not about being too busy – it's about maybe, just maybe, not putting me in the middle of it. nate has a point on you should probably handle your own shit. 〞
if nathan was here, he'd tell her to cool it — that voice rings in her head every time she encounters her other brother. ozzy is .. interesting. a puzzle she wants to figure out, even though devon knows they'd never let her get that close. a sickening version of two sides of the same coin or whatever the fuck that saying is. maybe she should give them some slack, cut it out and leave them alone. today is not that day. “the last time i tried to that, i was very civil – ” christmas of 2024 was not civil. “and she didn't care. so you're saying no to being a messenger, then? nate already said i had to handle it myself.” maturely, might she add. “unless you're too busy to help, i guess.” they should be.
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there was some instinctual part of sebastian that was earlier tempted to shut the whole thing down. making new connections wasn't exactly his forte. whatever the opposite of wearing your heart on your sleeve was – that was bash. he wore his heart rather hidden from rest of the world. as if it was only an organ meant to be within his own safekeeping. which was ironic considering self-care wasn't exactly something he succeeded in anyway. he just didn't see the harm in going to the library of a like-minded individual. junie was surface level, watching the gleam in her smile. the way she strutted over to the aisle with such determination. she made the proposal with such simplicity that there weren't many layers to peel back. his expression didn't falter at the claim – though he didn't believe it for a second. sure, junie wasn't everyone. some people were different, but most followed similar patterns that were only destined to repeat. 〝 you don't believe that i can be prompt? 〞bash questioned, a half-chuckle leaving him. one of those laughs that was more breath than actual sound leaving his vocals. 〝 i'll try not to be offended by your presumptions. viridian suites. 〞he stated, grasping the textbook in hand more firmly.
This felt like it was going too smoothly. Which Junie was, frankly, used to - even if any of her interactions stumbled across the line of awkward, uncomfortable, she almost always tacked it down to the other person’s fault. There’d always been an issue there, claiming her own faults. Of course Junie knew she had them - but she’d always been reluctant to allow others to see them. Always a perfectionist, which therefore became the core of her problems. Trying to maintain an image that simply wasn’t plausible. But everything about interacting with Bash was so refreshing, she even allowed herself to slouch momentarily. It was like a weight was lifted off her shoulders - momentarily. And then she stood upright again, the doe-eyed look replaced with her usual steely gaze. Even though an amicable grin appeared on her features - not to mention her height, a whopping 5’0” - Junie knew she was still somewhat intimidating. She wanted the image to remain, though there was a softness to her as she spoke with Bash. “That’s true. But not everyone’s me.” It was such a loaded response - something no one should be able to get away with, but Junie said it with such conviction, there was no room to guess whether or not she truly believed she felt a bit above it all. Clearly, she did. “Two?” She’d been hoping to making a whole day of it - used to spending hours on end at the library, even when she found what she needed within the first five minutes. But the last thing Junie wanted was to seem too eager. “Two’s perfect. Which suite are you in? I’ll meet you there, my navigational skills are excellent, it’s best to let me come to you so that we’re prompt.”
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happiness wasn't exactly an emotion sebastian was in tune with. it wasn't as if he was like this even as a kid. once upon a time there was a whimsy twinkle in the gaze, but being forced to grow up a little too quickly made it difficult to achieve filling any sort of void. joy somehow became linked with guilt. thanks to pretty white pills, bash eventually found a middle ground of content numbness. it was better than the alternatives, probably. he couldn't help but roll his eyes at magdalena's stance, firm in her belief and feet planted to the floor. it seemed that neither would budge, but maybe they both just had their unique ways of coping with the world. 〝 and you're no better than me. 〞bash reminded with a shrug of his shoulders. one simple raise before falling down. he wasn't the type to crave others' approval, it didn't matter much to him. he was self-aware enough to know he was rather rough around the edges and it only got worse the further a connection grew. 〝 like, you do know that, right? 〞he questioned as a subtle smirk pressed along his features.
not everyone got it . got her obsession with fitting in . everyone thought they were unique , different , their own person . but she'd learned there was no such thing . no one was different . despite their names or their clothes , everyone was the same at their core . humanity could be boiled down into a simple thing . everyone was lonely . everyone had a hole they were trying to fill . through different ways , but humans were motivated by a desire to fill that hole and find joy . this was her way . to fit in . that's what she wanted to feel satisfied in life . she didn't care what he thought or whether or not he respected her decisions . if she could , she would please everyone , but she had learned that was an impossible dream . so she wouldn't try to impress him or give in or make him like her . she would stand her ground . for once , she would stand up for herself . " do you get tired of being an outsider ? it must be exhausting to brood all day . it doesn't change the fact that you're no better than me . here we are at the same place and at the same school . what's the difference between you and me ? nothing except i make an effort to be happy . "
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the solarium had more appeal when people stayed away from it. with the cloudy downpour, most of the ambiance that the sunroom gave was, well, masked by a looming darkness that paired well with pelting water. the muggy atmosphere was right up bash's alley though considered it complimented his broody attitude. something about it tended to bring everyone a notch down. voices were lower, people kept to themselves most likely due to the disheveled mess it made people. no one wanted to approach someone new when dripping a puddle, makeup running down the face, or whatever the fuck else was the outcome. it was oddly comforting, the stillness a storm could bring.
that is until someone rather eccentric made the room her own. there was regret on assuming not many would walk through those doors let alone peer over to him. still, as cleo spoke, bash didn't even lift his gaze. he kept his head leaned back against the bricked wall, eyes shut, attempting to tune out the others words and focus on the clatter of raindrops. the offer of a trade could be appealing if, well, anyone's word meant shit. cleo's contradicting made it clear that she wasn't offering anything of real value. 〝 if you're willing to give a lie just as easily as a secret, then what's the point? 〞
WITH: anyone. @langstonstarters WHERE: right outside the solarium under a balcony. WHEN: 1:32pm.
by the time she got under the balcony outside the solarium, she was soaked through, her oversized cardigan clinging to her like a sad, woolen sea creature. her boots squelched audibly with every step, leaving behind a soggy trail on the polished floor like some kind of human slug. her curls — usually wild, now practically mythological — dripped onto her cheeks and shoulders. the rain had started somewhere between the antique shop and the corner where the sidewalk buckled like old skin. cleo hadn’t bothered to run. she never did. she walked like she was part of the weather — head tilted back, arms loose at her sides, blinking up into the sky like it was telling her a secret. she popped her head into the solarium door and propped it open, careful not to step inside though, asking the nearest person, “am i dripping?” she glanced down at herself as if noticing for the first time. “i am, huh? it’s very immersive out there,” she said brightly, already peeling off her cardigan and wringing it out with the enthusiasm of someone milking a cow. “i’m cultivating a small ecosystem. think of it as… temporary pond installation art. very exclusive.” then, without hesitation, she shook herself like a dog — hair flinging droplets, arms flapping. “i feel like a very elegant sponge,” she added, voice dreamlike, spinning once in place and leaving a wet spiral on the stone.
her dress was plastered to her knees and her hair hung in long, dripping spirals. she looked like a watercolor someone had left out in the storm. a little smudged. a little holy. then she rummaged in her cardigan pocket and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, half-ruined from the storm. she picked one carefully, almost tenderly, like it was a relic. held it between her lips but didn’t light it. instead, she turned her eyes back to the closest body, finally — eyes bright and strange, like they saw more than they should. she smiled around the cigarette. “you wouldn’t happen to have a light, would you?” she asked, tilting her head. “mine drowned nobly in a puddle while i was rescuing a very old spoon.. and my $150 fruit umbrella took the day off, it seems,” she said it like it made perfect sense. like anything could be important if you gave it a name. she stepped a little closer then, just enough for the space between them to warm. “i’ll trade you something in return,” she added, softer now. “a secret, a lie, or a very unconvincing magic trick. your pick.”
#「 ✩ * º ╳ ft: cleo. 」#「 ✩ * º ╳ sincerely: ss. 」#i luv u so bad#now i got cleo threads w BOTH my muses#mwahahah im so lucky
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light mischief wasn't something ozzy was always opposed to. they were more likely to linger wherever the people followed. something in between a shadow and a lost puppy, just waiting for the opportunity to insert a well-timed joke without pushing themselves in a conversation they weren't wanted in. there was some minor reluctance at the suggestion at first. finding cool rocks was a mission ozzy felt fairly confident on succeeding. part of them was almost excited to participate – plus the added bonus of extra credit?
there was a visible pout when the conversation turned sideways and the majority found the maze to be a more alluring adventure. ozzy wasn't going to speak up – why would they? they didn't fake any excitement for the quest, but they didn't exactly put their thoughts on display either. so they lingered back, tips of their feet kicking the ground in front of him as each step dragged on. their gaze fluttered over to zee, squinting slightly in attempt to find the craziness that they were suggesting. 〝 i don't – but noted that i should start carrying one or two around. didn't realize it's usefulness until now. 〞
WHERE: the maze garden. WITH: anyone who would pull a prank on a geography T.A just trying to have a nice field trip to the castle to hunt for cool rocks instead of being stuck indoors on a nice day.
the wind had clearly decided to pick a fight with zahara today. it tugged at their curls with relentless mischief, sending strands flying in every direction like a chaotic symphony of frizz and frustration. no matter how many times they tried to smooth it down or tuck it behind an ear, the gusts had other plans. wild, indecipherable ones. it certainly didn't help that zee had just finished a less than graceful twenty meter dash away from their chaperone. it was the T.A's bright idea to turn their free afternoon into an impromptu geology field trip. the goal simple enough: find a few 'cool' rocks near the old castle ruins, bring them back to campus, and earn some easy extra credit. but naturally, someone had whispered the brilliant idea of ditching the assignment in favor of getting lost in the castle’s overgrown garden maze. zahara, ever the victim of light peer pressure and even lighter common sense, had followed suit. now, hair whipping wildly around their face and their favorite hair tie a casualty somewhere among the hedges, zee sighed at the sky like it was personally responsible for their bad day. probably karma, they reasoned. payback for playing along with the prank instead of staying on task. “ be honest, i look insane right? ” they asked the person beside them. one of the few classmates who hadn’t vanished further into the maze yet. their tone was hopeful, but dry. “ actually, don't answer that. i don’t suppose you’ve got a scrunchie to spare, huh? ”
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a restless mind, sleep never found ozzy with ease. it wasn't something that necessarily weighed heavy on their day to day life. they had a talent of being able to function purely off of sweets and unnecessarily loud music. just like now, white plugs rested against their ears while beats echoed internally. ozzy was wondering around aimlessly, not up to mischief as it often took peer pressure to actually be up to trouble. it was an attempt to not annoy their suite mate, not wanting every movement disrupt their own REM sleep. much to their surprise, someone else seemed to be lurking the night. they couldn't help but perk up, a brightness in their eyes that mimicked one of a golden retriever greeting its owner. ozzy approached somewhere in between timid and curious.
a hand adjusted to remove an earbud as maximo was mid-sentence, really only catching the end. it was enough to cause ozzy's grin to falter though, considering maximo didn't exactly exude their own interest to socialize. 〝 oh – i – hm... 〞they muttered, taking a glance at the digital watch. 〝 here i thought i had an appointment at this time. we specific pick odd times in middle of the night just for the giggles. a crochet meeting. did you remember to bring extra hooks for newcomers? 〞ozzy questioned with raised brows, the corners of their lips curving. 〝 we could relocate – by we, i mean me. the meeting is usually low in attendance. i'm the president, treasurer, vice president… responsibilities are never ending. 〞
WHERE: near an open window at the solarium. WITH: anyone. hit me with your best shot.
when restlessness clawed beneath his skin like an itch he couldn’t scratch, maximo slipped quietly out of the dorms and made his way to the solarium. a half-smoked blunt, swiped from the communal stash he shared with delilah, usually keeping him company. he rarely ventured there during the day. there was something sacred about the stillness that came only after midnight. the halls felt like a different world at night, stripped of noise and eyes, wrapped in a soft hush that allowed the rotating art installations to shimmer under the gentle caress of moonlight. it was his hideaway. a secret space tucked between steel beams and glass walls where he could be alone with his thoughts, uninterrupted save for the occasional passing janitor or the night security guard who had long since stopped trying to chase him off. on occasion max would strike up conversations with them. half-stoned musings or lazy debates about whether a piece hanging in the atrium was actually good or just pretentious. but not tonight. tonight, he wanted the silence. craved it. he didn’t know how long he’d been meandering through the space—maybe an hour, possibly two. time felt hazy, stretched thin like honey. the soft scent of weed clung to his hoodie as he paused before a new piece, exhaling slow and steady. that’s when he heard it. footsteps. not the muffled shuffle of a tired janitor. nor the familiar rhythm of callum’s boots rushing to warn maximo he needed to leave soon before the morning crew arrived. max didn’t startle. he just turned, blinking at the figure now standing in the archway. brows furrowed. the haze around his thoughts clearing just enough for surprise to creep in. " i've either overstayed too late or you're here way too early. which one is it? "
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something about galleries was comforting. ozzy wasn't often the smartest person in the room and art majors were, well, judgey as fuck. still, once they got past the ones that took interpretations a bit too seriously, it was quite relaxing. ozzy has been leaning back, one arm dangling while the other hand clasped around their elbow. the stared at the panting, head slightly tilted to the side. perspective could often change the meaning. it was an attempt to connect with however the painting was crafted in the first place. for instance, perhaps the artist was at an odd angel, attempting to do gymanstics with oil paint in hand. that would cause a mess, ozzy assumed, which only caused a goody looking smile to peer on their features.
gaze then fluttered over to a very much disheveled student. ozzy;s features couldn't help but soften, instinct automatically fluctuating to want to help in some way. not that adrien would ask for it, but still. 〝 do you want water? 〞ozzy had asked, tone somewhat hushed as if it would allow adrien to be more inclined to accept the offer. 〝 or nurofen? 〞ozzy questioned once more, adjusting their position to fish in their bag that was slung over a shoulder. zipped peeled open and ozzy began rummaging about. 〝 oh, i have gummy bears too. something sweet perks anyone up, right? 〞still, they plucked out an unopened water bottle first, offering it over to adrien with somewhat hopeful hues.
WITH: whoever! @langstonstarters WHERE: the palladium forum. WHEN: 10:37am.
adrien’s leaning too close to a canvas in the campus gallery, smudging fingerprints near the “do not touch” sign, narrating his thoughts like he’s on a date with himself. he’s wearing aviator sunglasses inside — unashamed — despite the fluorescent lighting and the fact that he clearly hasn’t slept. his shirt is half-buttoned, collar askew, and there’s glitter near one eyebrow that refuses to be explained. his breath still smells vaguely of mint and regret. a crumpled energy drink can rattles in the pocket of his coat every time he shifts, like it’s trying to escape before whatever shame spiral he’s circling around pulls it in too.
he squints at the painting in front of him — “untitled” in all caps, emotionally vague — and then gestures lazily toward it, that trademark adrien beaumont smirk already forming. “they call this ‘untitled.’ i call it ‘emotional damage in oil paint.’ what’s your critique, art student number seven?” he tilts his head without looking over, lifting the edge of his sunglasses just enough to lock eyes with whoever’s unlucky or curious enough to be standing nearby. “be honest. is it the painting that’s making me dizzy, or the fact that i may or may not still be drunk?” he doesn’t wait for an answer. instead, he lets the sunglasses fall back into place and mutters, mostly to himself now: “looks like heartbreak and tax evasion had a baby.”
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attempting to not be so presumptuous, bash bit back the grin that threatened to peer on his features as maeve took a seat. the physical space between them closing felt reminiscent of the doors left ajar. maybe there was something acceptable to leave opportunities with the tiniest gaps. maybe he didn't have to walj through every single one. maybe time would allow wind to gently brush against the wood and expand the gap naturally. maybe it didn't all have to be so fucking daunting. it always felt as if each truth he said was just arming the other person with a list of reasons to leave. on why it'd be acceptable. ultimately, bash couldn't blame those that left. it was subtle, but noticeable, the flash of anxiety that seeped at the mere assumption of leaving. god, he was so fucking sensitive at times. it was easier to pretend to not care. people would always come and go, but it was easier when bash was in control of the circumstance.
shaking his head slightly and with a click of a tongue, his gaze was fixed to the floor. he wasn't avoiding, necessarily. just processing. wondering why he had left the door open and questioning why he was sat here close enough to familiarize himself with the perfume that lingered on maeve's skin. he could blame it on the alcohol. still so easy to wash it off as nothing. but he wasn't drunk when annotating notes of so sad today. he wasn't even inhaling smoke when deciding to drop it off at the suite. no, he was woefully sober in attempt to plead his case for the other's patience. 〝 i think reading stories that are sadder than how i feel keeps me humble, 〞he explained with a lightness in his done and a subtle grin tracing his features. 〝 raw emotion is powerful, 〞plus sometimes it was necessary to meet his solemn aura with some escapism that made it impossible to get lost in the numbness.
gaze flickered up then, looking beside himself as the reminder that maeve chose to sat right beside him. she didn't make the simple turn to the suites, but somehow managed to be here. no pressure was added on their already suffocating dynamic. maybe they could just sit here and read their respective books, part of bash was okay with that. there was a spike of chills than ran through bash at the admission to later would encompass maeve knowing just a little bit more about how he thought. still, he swallowed that down, already knowing that there was no going back and perhaps he didn't want to either. 〝 you're not dramatic, 〞he recalled, voice regaining its confidence as he recalled her words. 〝 it's probably a good thing to have some boundaries. i can assure you, i won't recite any poetry. 〞perhaps because after all, he did prefer that she stay.
maeve drifted her gaze over the floor like she was tracing a thought that wouldn’t fully land. she stood near the hallway toward the dorms, almost as if taunting herself to slip away again. she wore boots too expensive for the conversation they were having and a blouse slightly wrinkled from a day she’d already half-forgotten. the lamplight caught the sharpness in her features, but her expression was unreadable — calm, guarded, almost too practiced. around them, the room was quiet in that way that felt intentional. someone across the space glanced up, then looked quickly away again, pretending not to notice. a low conversation trailed off. the tension in the air was quiet and private but visible — like a match already lit, held just long enough to start burning skin. she lowered herself beside him at the table — not too close, not too far — just enough that her perfume reached him and her shoulder nearly brushed his. she sat with her legs folded to the side, ankles crossed, hands resting neatly in her lap. for a moment, she didn’t look at him. just breathed. settled. like maybe she was giving him a second to pull away if he wanted to.
then, voice rationally gentle, even: “i’m sitting.” her eyes shifted to him now. still unreadable, but softer than before. not vulnerable, exactly — but open in a way that cost her something. she exhaled through her nose, slow. “i’m not here to dig for secrets or perform some emotional rescue. you don’t owe me your damage just because i happened to see it, anyways.” for a second, she just watched him. not unkindly, but with a sort of devastating patience, the kind you offered people who’d forgotten they deserved gentleness. her voice, when it came, was quiet — not soft, exactly, just measured. deliberate. “i don’t need your truths gift-wrapped, bash.” she folded her hands in her lap, thumb absently brushing the ridge of her knuckle. her gaze flicked to him. it landed like a tether. “but you let me in. even if you didn’t mean to. and maybe that terrified the shit out of you, i don’t know. but you can’t unring a bell just because the echo makes your skin crawl.”
“so… i’m here,” maeve said finally, voice even. “and i’m not asking you to walk through a door. but i’ll sit on the floor beside it. for now.” a pause. then, almost teasing: “unless you start reciting poetry. then i’m leaving immediately.” a breath caught somewhere in her ribcage, and for the first time, she visibly calmed — shoulders softening, jaw no longer tight. “sorry,” she added under her breath, tone dry. “i was being dramatic. slightly.” she set so sad today down on the table in front of her, next to his book. she wasn’t close enough to press into him, but close enough to say i’m not leaving. her posture eased as she leaned back slightly and she tilted her head toward the book in his lap, eyebrows raising just slightly. “and now that i’m done being dramatic,” she said, voice lighter, teasing, “what’s this?” her finger brushed the worn edge of the bluest eye before she leaned back again, mock-serious. “i swear to god, if you wrote tragic margin notes in this one too, i’m going to annotate so sad today with glitter pen in response and mail it back to you.” a pause — then softer, fonder: “but i am going to finally dissect your annotations later. just so you know. i was just waiting to stop being annoyed with you, i suppose.” her lips curved into a smile, a real smile with him. and that felt like enough for them now.
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what one did and didn't deserve was a harsh conclusion to come to, but still, perhaps it wasn't a complete exaggeration. it was unfair to assume, but he just had an inkling that the action probably wasn't completely uncalled for. even for the sake of argument, standing up for yourself went a long way. bash would rather lose a fight and go down kicking than never speak up at all. most people, he realized, had more bark than bite. and he'd be damned to be lumped up with one of them. 〝 i'm not saying you deserved it, 〞bash corrected, tone evening. it wasn't doused with softness, but it was spoken with an amount of certainty. 〝 i'm just saying i know how i am when i've been on edge and i would say when someone swings at me, i don't think it came out of nowhere. 〞he stated, shoulders raising slightly before falling. 〝 but we're two different people. perhaps i deserve it more, 〞
the way ella was staring at him would have had an onlooker assuming something very bad had been said between the two of them. "what?" she couldn't believe that the question was even being asked. "of course i didn't hit them back, bash! what do you take me for? i certainly wasn't raised like that." this was not the time to be acting high and mighty but she would to try preserve what little image she had left. ellinore was a difficult one - exhibited all the signs of a potential 'mean girl' - and yet would crumble at any sort of confrontation and take things straight to heart. "besides, my head was in a toilet and that was a nightmare, but, no. i wasn't going to hit her back and i certainly wasn't about to hit corvina to get her off me. if she wants to be like that, well then, fine! but that's not me." she shook her head, again, an overreaction on her part but she couldn't help it. "do you think i deserved it?" deep down, ella already knew the answer to her question but she didn't want it to be true. "you know what? just forget i said anything."
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not to always be correct, but there was some pride on the accuracy of rightness that bash seemed to take. one way or another, his perspective always seemed be reasonable. his moral compass was slightly questionable, that much was true. but he always had a reason. there was a constant pros and cons list, sometimes internalized immediately. other moments had to be explicitly written out on a notepad as he weighed options. now that was one of those times where it was instant. shit item he broke and wanted no links tied to? yeah, leaving was the only logical option. so he couldn't help but grin, stifling a laugh as the other connected a few dots. 〝 not to brag, but my right to wrong ratio is pretty high, 〞he commented with a shrug of nonchalance. 〝 a few hundred? 〞bash had echoed, wondering if it was a hyperbole for arguments sake. still, there couldn't help but be an extra kick in his step. 〝 yeah, fuck that. 〞
she glances around the room, still not catching sight of a soul besides bash and herself. no obvious security cameras either. it takes another second for the dots to connect — thank you, lucky, for teaching her to pick up on unspoken communication, she guesses — that he isn't asking literally. “ohhhh, you mean … right.” said softly, and mostly to herself. is it maybe against her better judgement to leave the scene of the crime? most definitely. but at the same time … she's picked up enough things in this store and immediately put it back down once she saw the price tag to know that getting stuck paying for that thing had the potential to end in a very uncomfortable call home to get bailed out of a financial hole. “i think you might be right about that.” would it be lame to leave an apology note? probably. and would almost certainly take too long. “i think getting stuck with a demon would be preferable to getting stuck shelling out a few hundred on shards of glass.” and not even glass you could keep, at that.
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the list of mistakes were practically never ending for someone like bash. people say not to live life with regrets, but they followed him like a shadow. memories crept up and formed like an everlasting fog that was impossible to shake. it loomed in mockery, presenting each situation with a carefully dissected analysis. there were some conclusions bash would simply fall in habit of fully believing every time. he chose the least painful path that he was convinced existed. maybe some of it was unfair, always making the decision without including the other person. he couldn't help it though once he decided it would be too much being the one to walk away wounded. still, he missed percy whether he liked to admit it or not. for the various reasons that were displayed in this very moment. the softness in their eyes and the delicacy in the touch of their hand overlapping lapping his own. he needed a moment to just look at them. process the words that left their lips with absolutely no reluctancy. why they chose to be kind when he had so eagerly treated everything like nothing. it would be easier if percy hated him, really. 〝 and how could you help – why would you want to help? 〞the words didn't mean to come off accusatory, but still, he questioned why it would be worth their time at all to sit here. close in his space and all for what? gaze fluttered down to their point of contact, he was still, but not locked frozen. part of the touch was warm enough to thaw the coldness that tended to always linger. 〝 you're too kind sometimes, y'know. i don't know how you go�� through life so dauntless. 〞
tunnel vision was bash’s real enemy, so caught up in all the bad parts of himself that it clouded over all the good, a constant storm that danced behind his eyes and his words. percy didn’t say anything in response, tried not to think too deeply about the sentiment, and wonder if they fell under that title – one of his fuck ups. she grabbed a tin of ava’s lip balm, helping herself, buying time as she ran the salve across her lips, minty, prickling, and distracting. not enough, though, not when bash mentioned his writing or lack thereof and not when he left certain doors ajar, no matter how slight the space was. percy figured she had nothing else to lose with him, already tossed aside – what could be worse than becoming someone’s shut-out ghost? ghosts can still slip through the cracks. “i don’t think that’s true – i know that’s not true,” she corrected, out of the chair, moving closer until she sat at the edge of where he was, forgetting to keep distance for both their sakes. percy’s eyes bore into bash’s, searching, her hand wrapping around his hand that held the book, gentle but firm. “you can’t say it’s true either. books are nice, but your words – they’re meant to be written down. it’s not either-or. maybe i can help.”
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there was a single moment of honesty and it was borderline impossible to reciprocate. still, it was so tempting to go back to nothing but a starry night and dying flowers all around. it was a nice memory, if bash was honest with himself. perhaps it was all thanks to liquid courage, but regardless it had been some time since he opened a door let alone walked through one. every single time someone extended their hand to grip on the door handle they'd push. pull. yank. nothing would come about it. it was a door that was battered and bruised, caution tape plastered all around with an obnoxious yellow. it wasn't worth opening, let alone walking through. he told people this. bluntly. loudly. he'd prove it time and time again. and it worked. people left him alone. and it was… easier that way.
life was duller now. the volume of all the noise in his head was dialed down to a subtle buzz. numbness had its perks and it most certainly carried its own weight. still, it was most likely better than the alternative. molars pinched the thin skin,�� an indication that vulnerabilities threatened to spill from his lips. it was tempting, considering maeve appeared so desperate to be validated for her own reasons. she understood, he knew she did. he knew she understood the void. even if it looked different from his own, she had the knowledge. it was comforting, in a way. as if he wasn't alone, even among a stranger. because what else would they fucking be considered? 〝 i know. 〞infuriating. too much. that wouldn't change, whether his truth was known or not. suppose it would connect some dots. have explanations for paradox way of life.
listening to her synopsis of their.. situation, a breath left bash almost silently. he shook his head, just slightly, in disagreement. though suppose her interpretation wasn't exactly false, perception was funny like that. he fumbled with the magnet bookmark in hand before finally deciding to clip it on the single page he left off on. he'd like to believe that it was tempting to walk away then. take the final blow and end the current interaction, but he didn't want to. not really. 〝 i didn't mean to ignore you. i was just... 〞scared? being pathetic? what was it that maeve wanted to hear, exactly? the truth, probably. he folded shut the novel in hand before flickering his gaze at her once more, allowing his voice to trail off.
for being strangers, maeve sure had a way to be an expert on reading in between said lines. she seemed to know what stung. what statements would hit with a little bit too much of reality. sure, he was selfish. he didn't want to be wanted, because that would cause reciprocation. and bash was… well, when he was in, he was all in. people often thought they'd be prepared for it, but they weren't. 〝 would you want to be wanted when the one person who knew you wholly leaves? 〞choice or not, bash didn't do well with, well, abandonment. he'd always come crawling back. every time. like clockwork. truly, part of him pleaded to be desired. as if it was permission to take up space in a world he didn't think he fit in. it probably would have been easier to note that he had no memories from their open night. maybe then they could have started ten paces back. in that scenario it was straight forward. small talk would come easy. but how does one talk about nothing when they already saw your wounds?
every time sebastian paused between his words, the air grew thicker. it was tempting to let the boiling water overflow, sizzle once hitting upon the wooden floors. bash wasn't one to shy away from a scene, it was a craft to form his perfected expectation. he was easy to set off, still, unfortunately the emotions that lingered wasn't anger. he wanted to be full of rage. wanted to hate her. wanted to accuse maeve for being way out of her element. he didn't owe her shit, still. part of him wanted to get to know her too. 〝 do you want to sit or are you not patient enough to learn what our truths are? 〞truth took time to expose. still, his voice had a softness to it. he wanted maeve to take a seat near. even if they said nothing. maybe they could just take time learning to be comfortable in each other vicinity rather than suffocating themselves in their locked rooms.
she wasn’t even sure why she stopped. not really. maybe it was the way his eyes flicked up — too fast, like a slip, like a breath caught mid-sentence, as if looking at her had been accidental. like maybe it meant something, or maybe it meant nothing at all. she hated not knowing the difference. or maybe it was just the book in her bag, the weight of so sad today pressing into her side like a secret she never meant to share. it sat there like a bruise she kept touching, just to feel something. the hallway around them was hollow and overlit, humming with the kind of quiet that felt deliberate, like the universe was leaning in to listen. old posters peeled from the walls in curls, forgotten announcements ghosting the space like shed skin. he didn’t owe her anything. they weren’t friends. they weren’t anything. and yet she felt.. betrayed? no, that was too big a word. but something close. something raw and restless. something with the shape of hurt and the taste of regret. he’d opened something in her: some small door she hadn’t realized was still locked. and now he just stood there blank as a winter window.
“you’re infuriating,” she said, voice low, as if saying it too loud might break something — an admission more than a statement. her feet had stopped moving without her consent. they planted themselves like she’d grown roots right there in the linoleum, cracked and waxy beneath fluorescent light. arms folded across her chest — not cold, not angry, just trying to hold something in. she looked like a girl trying not to shatter, compressing herself into the smallest shape that might still count as whole. her gaze moved across his face like it was reading a language she’d never been taught. she was looking for meaning in the creases, in the not-quite expressions. like he might accidentally tell her the truth just by blinking wrong. and he just stood there. still. infuriatingly quiet. then again — louder this time, and sharper, like the edge of a snapped violin string: “you’re really, really infuriating.” her voice echoed slightly in the narrow corridor; a fluorescent light above them buzzed like it agreed.
those too-wide eyes soft around the edges, the kind of softness that made her want to scream. how could someone that guarded carry a face like that? a face that looked like it had once known tenderness. she hated that softness. she hated that she noticed it, analyzed the little things. “you ignore me. shut down whenever it gets too close. and then you do… that.” her hand twitched toward the strap of her bag, where the book pulsed like a second heart. “and you just expect me to — what? read between the lines? translate your annotations into some kind of apology?” her jaw clenched. the words weren’t loud. they weren’t theatrical. she didn’t believe in scenes. not in public. not where someone might see the seams. but her voice shook just a little — just enough to feel real. like it had to be dragged out of her, hand over fist, from the deep place where truth hides. her eyes locked on his like she could dare him into clarity. he looked at her like he was on the verge of saying something — something real — but couldn’t quite cross the line. it made her feel foolish. it made her furious.
he looked back like he might speak — like the truth was sitting in his mouth, silver and shaking — but he didn’t. didn’t cross that invisible line. and it made her feel stupid. it made her furious. “i know we don’t know each other. i know you don’t owe me anything.” the sentence cracked in the middle, held together only by the tension in her spine. “but you let me care. for five fucking minutes.” she laughed once, bitter and brief. not amusement — disbelief. “and then you slammed the door shut like i was never supposed to knock in the first place.” her arms dropped to her sides — slowly, like her body wasn’t sure it could hold itself upright without the barricade. her fingers twitched once, then stilled. her breathing was uneven now, shallow, like her ribs were afraid to open all the way. she stood like someone trying not to fall apart in front of someone who wouldn’t catch her. “and i hate that i’m still standing here,” she whispered, shaking her head once, as if to scold herself more than him.
the words fell out of her like ash. like the last thing still burning. she shook her head once, more at herself than at him. a warning, a scolding, a plea to shut up — but it was already too late. she had cracked slightly. ��wanting to know you. wanting something from someone who made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be wanted.” it wasn’t a performance. there was no script here. just the truth — raw and ugly and honest — dropped like a stone between them. she didn’t step closer. didn’t back away. she just looked at him, face tense with a cocktail of frustration and ache. like she was daring him to move. or begging him to. she wasn’t sure which anymore — frustrated, confused, aching. and still, impossibly, wanting.
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there was tragic empathy that ozzy attempted to relay as cleo coped with the reality crushing in on her world. they plucked a dead leaf or two from the strands of hair, holding back a laugh in response as they went over the squirrels clearly evil vendetta. 〝 squirrels can grow, cleo. keep an open mind. they're probably, like, actively writing an apology letter right now. they were blessed by a big brain and they have so many thoughts. what were they supposed to do if not plot the murder of a human? 〞it was the only explanation, really. ozzy let their hand drop from the mission to remove any loose nature clinging to cleo's hand and instead let their arm plop along her frame.
ozzy nodded in agreement, a peace offering only seemed fair considering that letter would be pretty unlikely due to the lack of opposable thumbs. another chuckle left ozzy as they nudged cleo as a playfully scolding. 〝 heyyyyyy… 〞they drew out the word, coating the word with a wounded tone. 〝 i don't want a leash. i want to be free. i'll still stay close though. promise. i'm really hard to get rid of. 〞and that was just that. an indefinite promise. they were puppy like, in that way, easily trotting behind like a shadow of sorts. they hated to be alone after all, so it didn't take much to convince time well spent together.
feeling complete and whole was an abstract idea that seemed so foreign now that it was brought up. a gap always followed ozzy around, no matter how often or how far they'd run away from it, the theoretical idea would always catch up. so, they brought back the arm that was one laced around cleo and held out a pinky as a proposal. 〝 well, i pinky promise to never stop providing for me you and nutsy. nutsy will have all the grand things – a lavish purse. all the acorns in the world. you name it. 〞
cleo didn’t even pretend to take the squirrel accusations seriously. she laid there dramatically, one arm slung across her forehead like she’d been wronged by fate itself. “apologize? to that little freak?” she said, squinting toward the tree like she half-expected the squirrel to still be lurking. “ozzy, that thing tried to assassinate me. i saw it in his beady little boba eyes. no remorse. just violence.” she rolled onto her stomach, the grass sticking to her elbows, and let her hand drift toward ozzy’s knee — fingertips idly tapping against the fabric of their jeans like she didn’t even notice she was doing it. she propped her chin in her hands, feet kicking lazily behind her, gaze flicking toward them with a conspiratorial grin.
“but fine. maybe i’ll consider a truce — if he brings me a peace offering. like a leaf. or a tiny acorn hat. you know. something tasteful.” she reached out again, this time giving their side a half-hearted poke, followed by an exaggerated sigh. “and you, with the leash ideas. what are you gonna do, knit him a sweater that says ‘emotional support menace’? because i will not be responsible when he rips that thing to shreds and climbs onto your head like you’re his personal jungle gym.” cleo tilted her head, considering them for a beat, then added slyly, “actually, maybe you’re the one who needs a leash. keep you close. for my own safety. or entertainment. or both. tired of you wandering off like a little creature.”
she gave them a slow grin, fingers now trailing up to absently tug at the cuff of their sleeve like she was grounding herself there without meaning to. “but honestly? if we had a squirrel pet, i think i’d finally feel complete.” she rolled onto her back again, this time letting the side of her arm bump against theirs as she stretched out, her fingers twiddling in the air above her. “we’d be unstoppable. me, you, and nutsy. the holy trinity.” a pause, then a breathy, over-the-top sigh. “ozzy, i think i’m starting to believe in fate again. this is your fault.”
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there was a certain amount of beauty entangled around bath. ozzy was particularly allured in as soon as they first roamed the campus a couple years back. they were more than glad to get to explore new hidden gems and share the spots they've grown to to adore. still, people would take shit anywhere. some things never changed, but suppose there was something comforting about that too. ozzy was the type to see the positivity in just about anything. sometimes it could come off a bit obnoxious and they'd do their best to settle down the radiant beams that often rayed off their being. 〝 what's wrong with dreaming big, y'know? like, maybe there ends top be a mathematical equation to make my the structures work, 〞they mused out with a small, yet playful pout playing on their features.
one foot in front of another worked on autopilot, but ozzy's gaze remained on taking in their surroundings. wind lightly brushed against their cheeks and when ozzy looked up, past the overhanging trees, the sun still blared down and kissed the green grass long the sides of the pavement. they blew a raspberry, kicking off a pebble to roll into the dirt rather than by its lonesome. 〝 no names necessary – i'll be sure to give every engineering major a very long-winded lecture. then, suddenly, they'll all switch curriculum. you'll see. 〞
ON A SUNNY AFTERNOON.
✴ ˚ — closed starter, written for @pclarcld !
WHEN SUMIN SETS OUT TO WANDER THE CAMPUS GROUNDS WITH OZZY, THEY END UP FOLLOWING A TRAIL OF FLOWERING VINES THAT SCALE TOWARDS ONE OF THE SCULPTED INSTALLATIONS IN THE COURTYARD. Insects hum dreamily about some of the plants, and pipits sing high overhead, and the blue sky shines cloudless beyond the horizon. Sumin takes a bite out of her apple. The gush of fresh juice makes her forget that her next class starts in less than an hour.
❛❛I’m just relaying what I’ve heard from the engineering majors,❜❜ she’s saying to them as the two walk in step, frowning when a group of students passes them without giving them a wide berth. She levels a glare at them. She will remember their faces. ❛❛They think you architecture majors are clueless. It’s always complaints about how much your artistic pursuit never stops to consider the practical aspects of structures and buildings, and about the number of potential building code violations they find in designs. I can give you their names, if you want.❜❜
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offense wasn't taken at the sneer that coated sumin's features. he tended to have that impact on people, most automatically rolling their eyes when he stepped a foot to close. he didn't mind it. part of him was amused by the effect. so he didn't bother correct the same as it was rather meaningless. he doubted it would become necessary for the other to catch his attention. still, to be halted in place for reasons unknown was a bit uncalled for. he didn't exactly enjoy wasting time over nothing.
there were more than likely a few valid reasons to be stopped harshly before entering the room. it wouldn't be the first time bash was met with a punch in the phase just by showing up into the wrong place, wrong time. while this didn't exactly have those kind of stakes, bash was still caught off guard with sumin's repulsiveness to his interruption. over a.. 〝 come again? 〞bash had questioned, features scrunched as gaze lingered from sumin's stance, to the tupperware, to the pale wall with a beetle roaming the free land. 〝 what exactly are you tripping on and can you share? 〞bash stated, a half chuckle leaving him.
WE ARE ALL BUGS ON THE WALL.
✴ ˚ — closed starter, written for @pclarcld !
THE SMALL, BLACK BEETLE CRAWLS UP THE WALL— IT LOOKS LIKE A DOT SLOWLY MOVING ACROSS A LARGE, WHITE EXPANSE— IT’S SEEMINGLY ENDLESS FOR SOMETHING OF ITS SIZE, AND SHE FEELS A SENSE OF… KINSHIP. They are all bugs in this world, really. Sumin is enthralled for a moment, forgetting what she meant to do with it; the clear tupperware is forgotten in her hand, hanging by her side, as she watches in quiet wonder. Then disturbance arrives all too quickly when someone walks into the common room and self-awareness finds her like a bullet. Sumin looks over, ready to return to her task, but feels a prickle of annoyance at who she makes eye contact with. A long, heavy sigh leaves her lips— it’s a common response upon seeing Sebastian, or Bash, or whatever he likes being called.
❛❛Samuel,❜❜ she sneers, then notices that the beetle has been startled out of reach upon his gangly entrance, and she feels like he’s suddenly at fault for there being any beetle inside to begin with. Fucking asshole. Turning to face him, she shoves the tupperware into his chest before he can enter the room any further. ❛❛Look, man, you scared it. Now I can’t reach it.❜❜
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there was a careless shrug of the shoulders as a response. he wasn't exactly the empathetic type, wrapped around in his own world. suppose he was more closed minded than he'd like to think, seeing the world from a birds eye view, but narrowed in on his own perspective. he always scoped the world from an outwardly body experience, yet all consumed of the events that impacted him before daring to walk in someone's else's shoes. people had it worse. some had it better. what the fuck else did it matter besides awareness? it wasn't as if he'd pretend to relate to something untrue. still, he was amused by delia's disinterest. of course, how silly of him to propose wasting such previous time of charity. 〝 ouch, first you don't want to help out of the kindness of your own heart. but now i gotta provide entertainment? 〞all over a shit outlet. or potential charger, suppose it was still up for debate until the theory was tested. 〝 loser completes winners assignment of choice? i'm sure you'd have a blast completing the digital art project i gotta do. 〞because godforbid the STEM major enjoy anything creative.
nose scrunches as he explains the horrors of black mold, she really didn’t want to hear about it anymore than she had to, “ that’s awful, don’t tell me that, ” it wasn’t that she was avoidant, she usually liked to address things head on, but the whole situation wasn’t her doing anyways and she’d prefer to never think of it again. “ twenty ? ” she repeats the number back, head tilting to the side eyes appraising, “ that’s no fun, ” it isn’t that she means to be insensitive, she really tries her best to be aware of other people and their feelings, and she’s responsible with money too, for the record, but still, twenty dollars isn’t enough to interest her, “ come on, you can think of something better than that. ”
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