pcwerdriven-blog

[pcwerdriven-blog]

with a ruffle of her hair he slung an arm around her shoulder, walking her into a training room. “ they’re gonna be killers mark my words.  and you, you’re gonna lose your edge you take any more time out.  you been settling in, uh? “ 

“ i DOUBT it. it’s not me that has to be worry about ‘em anyway. ”   she took a step back, gesturing in the directions of the training rooms. used specifically for sessions.   “ can’t pass it up. ”   since the move to boston she’d taken the time to explore… seemed like a good way to get back in the gym—a day with dad.

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maybe not but he still cast a glance over his shoulder.   woman would pop out of any shadow....  “ conditioning with your old man.   and aye---watch it.   you should see those tyke’s right hooks, uh?  you n’ethan got some competition. “ 

“ i didn’t see her losin’ her shit. ”   knuckles cracked.   “ so, what’d’ya have in mind?       and—-not what you do with em & finn, aye. i needa work a sweat, dad. ”

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“ you bet it is. “ he let the dead-lift drop, taking a second to catch his breath. “ ye mother won’t mind. “ 

if he said so - a shrug followed by a smile.   “ is that an offer? ”   wouldn’t pass it up.

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“ okay i’m going to fail miserably. no pressure. “ 

      “you understand where i’m from, si? you have BIG shoes to fill. i’ve never met an amiercan that can work their way around the kitchen half as well as an italian.”

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“ you kiddin’ me? m’at the top of my game, sweetheart. “   also hadn’t been sleeping, and it showed.  “ you trainin’ today? “ 

     “ you look a lil rough. ”

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“ yeah.       me too. “      shit.   & with that, james was gone----wishing he could turn back time to the good old days. 

she hadn’t the energy to argue—needed to save it. besides, wasn’t sure she wanted to. if anything teddy would probably need it & she’d be right there for him through the whole thing. the least she could do.   “ i love you, cuz. ”

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“ i--- “ his palms had grown sweaty, breathing uneasy as if he’d just ran five blocks. “ yeah, thank you i just... if it ever... if they found out i... “ 

      “ya know you could just say thank you.”

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“ anywhere---just away from here. away from the noise. “  out of the city, where it was quiet.   he’d know what thoughts were his, then.   all other noise fading away.   or so he hoped.

      she’s DROWNING in work, but when has she ever been able to say no to ross? today is no exception to the rule. “where did you have in mind, tesoro? i’ll follow you anywhere.”

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“ why would you do that?    why cover for me? “

      “i told you – i’m not talkin’ about it, alright? your secret’s safe with me.”

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“ i might know my way around the kitchen. you’ll have to wait and see. “

      “wait a second – are you telling me that you’re actually capable of cooking something other than mac n’ cheese with hot dogs thrown in?”

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“ nah. “   he began off - toward the door. “ nah. “   colin was... colin.  family.  family was with family at the end.  “ uh, you should take some time.   with teddy, you know?   i’ll--- take care of things. you--- you be with your son. “ 

his support meant more than she were able to express in that moment. well, as supportive as he could be—he was on her side, even if he didn’t agree. “ i can… make other arrangements, james. i have people. ”   could she really ask it of him? it was all twisted enough.

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“ yeah. “  another sigh, and he leaned down to kiss his cousin upon the forehead.   much like he had when they were kids, and at every bump in the road since.  when he pulled back eyes were lidded, but he was keeping his shit together.  “ alright uh...jus’----call me when... “  when it was done.  when he’d come to pick up a body. transport it. rid of it. 

there it was. the crack in her exterior. tinted red lips twitching.   “ — ”   it was hard on him too. after all, colin was his friend. just as lizzie had been hers. except she wasn’t the one having to offer to dig the other woman’s grave. not a damn thing about it was easy…   “ me too. ”   & she was.

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his jaw clenched.  colin deserved that much.  with a groan he moved to stop in front of her, an arm to her shoulder.  “ alright.  you do this thing n’i’ll...get my shovel. “  a squeeze of his hand.   FUCK.  colin---that stupid bastard.   “ i’m sorry, ails. “ 

it was a lot to process. she understood that fully. then, a shake of her head.   “ me. ”   jasper would do exactly as she asked aileen’d no doubts there but this…   “ it’s my decision. i make the move. ”

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a heavy sigh.  deep down, james had known something had been coming. something had to give... the way colin had been acting.  he’d just thought it’d come in the form of a fist, and james’ own at that. but this? this was fucking serious shit. it seemed like her mind was made up, and of course, push came to shove he’d always have her back.   she was his wife. this wouldn’t be easy for her. he would keep it together for her. as much as he loved colin, as close as they were----she loved him more. she was closer. “ ... “  count to ten. don’t lose your shit. “ reaper? “   

eyes didn’t waver from his for long moments. room silent. teddy… the one person she never wanted to hurt. he’d be crushed, knew he would be. might be closer with her but he loved his father as much as the next little boy. dark eyes threatened to grow watery. aileen rose from the chair, rounding the desk to sit on the edge of it. a few slow nods.   “ at least he won’t be dead. ”   six words on repeat in her head.   “ i can love him enough for the both of us. ”   as she said: there weren’t any other options.   “ but this has to happen. ”

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“ oh YEAH? “  a scoff.   “ n’what about the kid? “  fuckin’ teddy.  james hadn’t had his own growing up -- lucky enough to have been taken in by aileen’s. then the bastard had finally croaked. cancer.  the thought of his godson growing without one -- and colin was pretty decent -- it rubbed james the wrong way.  “ once this is done you can’t undo it, cuz.  you gotta be damn sure. “ 

“ i can assure you my mind is in exactly the right place. ”   right place considering the situation. one way or another colin would cause anarchy. they couldn’t afford to wait until it happened. spent too long letting him make stupid decisions on behalf of their family. he was ‘bout ready to run them into the ground.   “ it’ll be—quick. ”   as right as the decision felt she did love him. wasn’t something she’d be getting an immense joy from. no glee. the after effect had some perks but… he was her husband. save him from himself.   “ but there are no other options. ”   not for her.

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momentary shock spread over his features.         SILENCE.      “ have you lost your mind? “   he shook his head, rising from his seat.   “ you’ve both lost your damn minds. n’ye call me nuts. “   he turned, but turned back.  “ what the hell you plannin’ on doin’? “

“ you think —— ”   a snort. though it lacked much amusement.   “ i might as well blow our brains out now. ”   made sense. wasn’t ones first conclusion that a wife would suggest killing her husband. desperate times called for desperate measures.   “ colin, james. colin’s the problem. ”   leveled eyes, stiff jaw. aileen shifted in her chair.   “ & the problem goes. ”   ( felt like cement off her tongue )

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“ uh? “  he cast his cousin a glance of confusion. “ nah, i’m good. “  whilst it may seem he was riled up and the couple were at odds, it was just the way they communicated. “ why you want one? “  another look out the window - call to lizzie: “ hey baby where’d you put the ginseng? “ 

a glance between him & the window. it wouldn’t be the first time she’d come in on something like this. knowing her cousin and dear friend——wouldn’t be the last either.   “ that answers the how are you bit. ”   aileen moved to take the seat across from him.   “ s’it ‘bout time you had one for your CURE ALL teas you feel so inclined to suggest to me? ”   lighthearted. diffusing. she’d heard about them and all their supposed glory. hey, if they worked for him.