pdid-positivity

[pdid-positivity]

sorry for the long hiatus! summer has been busy for me.

this blog will return on august 1st! :D

[pdid-positivity]

sending love and joy /p to systems who dont switch often

[pdid-positivity]

You are valid P-DID systems!!

(Have a good day!)

[pdid-positivity]

Whenever we start feeling like our experiences aren't valid we go onto Tumblr. It helps us realize there are so many different ways to experience being a system, and ours not always being the "traditional" experience doesn't make it any less valid. We have basically no amnesia barriers, our inner world isn't that big/we haven't discovered some or most of it, we don't even remember what we do in there once we front, most of our alters rarely front, we all generally like the same stuff with some small differences, etc. All of this used to make us question our validity, but being on here helped us realize these are all very real ways to experience being a system.

Anyway I made this post much longer than I originally planned :p

-🐀

[pdid-positivity]

shout out to plurals who’s frequent fronters change all the time.

shout out to alters who are afraid of not fronting all the time, either because theyre so use to it or they’re afraid they wont get to front again.

shout out to systems who wish they had a more consistent rotation of fronters and wish it wasn’t so come and go with system members.

shout out to alters who like fronting.

shout out to members who get frontstuck regularly.

and shout out to systems trying to find a middle ground between being front stuck and having completely inconsistent fronters.

[pdid-positivity]

Guide to Voluntary Switching

I/we have known we are a system for around a decade now. One of the most helpful things we have ever learned to do is switching on command. Believe it or not, although it may not feel possible, it is possible to control switching. Sometimes it is harder to do and the switch may not last long, but overall it is very possible to learn how to consistently switch in and out as needed. We are a traumagenic system but this should work for other types of systems as well.

One useful application of this skill is for studying. The alter who learns information is the one with the easiest access to this information. It is possible to keep track of who studied and deliberately call them out when the information is needed.

It is also a great skill to use when processing trauma during therapy. It makes accessing dissociated materials that are specific to one alter much easier. It can help access alters with traumatic memories during something like an EMDR session. Outside of therapy, voluntarily accessing other alters has a wide variety of uses related to accessing compartmentalized ideas and feelings, or the opposite - switching to a capable alter when a young or traumatized alter is not up to handling an unavoidable responsibility or letting a tired alter rest and allowing a new host to become prominent.

The Skill of Gatekeeping

Gatekeeper alters are a well-known alter type. They are present in many systems. If you are in contact with one or more gatekeeper alters, try to get to know them. They may be able to teach you how to think in the way that they do that allows them to control who is and isn't in the front.. It is also possible to develop a good relationship with a gatekeeper alter and ask them to voluntarily trigger switches as needed. This is one method of learning how to control switching that works for some systems.

From what my gatekeepers have shared,

"gatekeeping is in essence: remembering who everyone is, and remembering how they feel allows you to find them inside and pull them out. There is also a feeling of pushing internally that pushes alters back and temporarily makes them go dormant. "

Alter Relationships

Some alters are closer to other alters. These alters may remember the existence of other alters that others may not remember. They may be able to trigger in alters that are close to them but not to the other alter.

Internal World Dynamics

It is possible to call inside for an alter, ask for them to switch in, and they may in fact switch in, although if they are especially dormant they may not hear this request at all. Do note that just thinking about the other alter may trigger a switch to that alter.

What helps is to make an area inside where alters can be found. This could be a specific room or place for each individual alter, or a general meeting area. It can be easy to find alters there because if you last remember seeing them inside somewhere, going back to that place sometimes allows you to access them much more easily. Grouping alters that want to front together/more frequently into a similar place can help them co-front together and find each other more conveniently to trigger switches.

Positive Triggers

All alters have certain things that they are passionate about and interested in. Many alters have specific roles that they automatically come out to perform when the situation calls for it. Pay attention to these triggers. If there is a certain behavior or situation that calls out an alter, make note of that. If an alter especially enjoys doing something, doing that activity can trigger them out - as can even just thinking about doing the activity. If an alter really likes something the other alters do not have a particular preference for, keeping a reminder of this thing around can trigger a switch. If this trigger is easily encountered voluntarily, it can be used to call out the alter.

Network of Associations

All of our alters and other types of thoughtforms are connected to memories and ideas that belong to them. The brain can only process so much information at once, so all living forms within the mind cannot be active at once. The information that is salient in our mind determines who is fronting. The brain can be tricked into pushing specific alters to the front by activating information that is associated with this alter and pushing away information that is not.

Memories

All alters are connected to at least a few memories. These are typically memories that they were personally present for - but could also be memories of creative or analytical ideas, or memories of having a strong emotional reaction about something. This often comes with a sense(s) of nostalgia that is associated with the alter and often occurs when the alter fronts. Remember each one for each alter. Some may overlap. This sense of nostalgia as well as any of these associated pieces of cognitive information, such as specific memories or ideas, can be used to voluntarily switch. They may also have an area of the internal world that is associated with them where they may easily be found.

Essence

Each alter has a distinct sense of self. Particularly in systems with strong amnesia barriers, it may be difficult or impossible to directly experience this firsthand. If it is possible to remember what it feels like to be them when they are present, this can be used to trigger a switch.

Using These Associations to Make the Switch Happen

Reflect on something associated with the alter, and the feeling of their nostalgia or what it feels like to be them. This will usually trigger a switch within a few minutes of doing this constantly or repeating it every few minutes. It may help to pay attention to what areas are active in the internal world as you do this. Try to go to areas where you know that alter often is; you may make a meeting area for the purpose of these voluntary switches to make this easier. Keep talking inside to see if they respond and are co-present. Once you feel their sense of self, imagine yourself/feel yourself mentally falling behind them and push yourself backwards inside. As they begin doing things outside of the mind in the real world, eventually you will either become coconscious, you remain present but are somewhat dissociated and may only be active in the internal world/mind's eye, or a full switch will happen and you won't even notice you're gone.

Types of Triggered Switches

It is possible to trigger a full switch (either one with or without coconsciousness,) as well as to trigger partial switches. Partial switches happen when an alter is awakened and present in some form, for instance they may be able to converse or remember events, but they do not fully front.

Coconsciousness

It is common for voluntary switches to lead to a switch wherein the triggered alter fully fronts and switches in while the original alter that provoked the switch also remains present. If this type of switch is specifically desired, it can be achieved by making an agreement with the alter that is going to switch in. Together, one alter can remember to trigger the other alter whenever they notice the other is not present, and this keeps them present at the same time. If co-consciousness is difficult for a system, this may feel like playing tag at first as both alters get used to the skill of triggering switches.

Complete Switch

Complete switches are common in response to voluntary switching. If the switching alters are all in agreement, they can maintain a planned switch by engaging in a voluntary switching method to keep the intended alter in the front. It can help to have a place in the internal world where they can go to symbolize they are leaving the front and going inside. The alter that has switched in can use the voluntary switching methods as a grounding technique to reduce dissociation and keep that particular alter in front. Particularly in dissociative systems, the brain naturally attempts to depersonalize which causes cyclical personality switching; grounding on the essence of that alter's sense of self reduces this dissociation and keeps them in front.

Ground to Maintain

It is common for the triggered switch to not last for very long. You may need to trigger the switch multiple times before it sticks. It helps if the alter switching in tried to ground themselves. If you remain co-conscious, which can happen in a succesful triggered switch, it can help to reflect on the stimulus (such as the feeling of the alter or their memories or favorite things) you used to trigger the switch to help solidfy and maintain the switch.

Fatigue

It can feel mentally exhausting to try to trigger a switch too many times. It is not uncommon to have to trigfer a switch multiple times, failing each time before giving up. Sometimes, you just cannot trigger a switch at all for some inexplicable reason. Don't be afraid to give up for a bit and try again later. It gets easier the more you practice. Don't be discouraged.

Host Switching

It happens to us all from time to time - our host(s) becomes tired or depressed and needs a break. Maybe our host is functional but is not as interested in daily life as another alter that would like a more active role in their life (perhaps because it involves something that is a positive trigger for them.) There is a way of chronically using these alter switching techniques to change hosts.

In order to change hosts, you have to trigger a switch to the intended new host frequently. Some people set an alarm on their phone to trigger a switch several times a day (depends on how long the triggered switch lasts), or make an in-system agreement to always trigger the intended host when host responsibilities (like going to the doctor or paying bills or going to class or eating) come up.

By chronically triggering a switch to a different host, over time (a few days to a few weeks, generally) this becomes the system's default pattern of switching.

Hostile Uses of Deliberate Switching

Remain in good communication with your alters and make sure that the switching alters are okay with what is happening. Don't try to force alters that don't want to leave to go away, and don't try to force alters that don't want to be present to the front. Going against an alter's will can feel painful at the moment and can cause long term problems if it becomes a chronic habit.

[pdid-positivity]

Gripped by Glue Trap: a Post about Front Stuck & Lock

I get it, there's no such thing as an actual big glue trap with being stuck outside as a system,, but oftentimes its gonna feel that way because whatever was done... that glue won't even struggle one bit, only we do. That frustration is what we all have when switching is not an option.

But do you ever think this glue is defeatable? It latches hard and wears you out the more you try to get out of the situation,, so you might think not.. yet i do! That's what this post is going to be about folks, getting your little bug-self free with my secret trick from another human glue trap ensnared in their house.

But.. what is it actually?

Generally, as a system, we facilitate each other's strengths and weaknesses by switching in and out, as all those parts are not wholly integrated compared to a singlet. And. Uh oh. You're stuck and can't get out? You're trapped!.. that little drop of sap caught your leg and now you couldn't leave, even if you wanted to. Though you still can express to your buddies that you need help or etc. (and, this is called front stuck)

Or sometimes, we can even get stranded away from our pack (as in stress, or anything that worsens internal communication), wondering alone, and stood on a nasty manmade trap that caught you without mercy. This time, you're immobile and out of reach to call for reinforcements (now, this one is called front lock)

Sap? Glue? What's the diff??

To put it simply, being stuck means being unable to get out from the front or surrender the control to another part. While being locked off is the worser version of being stuck because not only you cannot surrender the control, there is barely any stream of communication you can connect to, or nonexistent, head silent and all that.

The only similarity they have is how it greatly impedes the fronter's capability to ease in or out from front,, if not, impossible.

These two also happen for different possible reasons, such as:

↓ Stuck ↓ 

Unfinished tasks

Goal/wants not met yet

Ongoing role duty (for protectors, hosts, etc)

Reluctance handing control/fear of blacking out

Mild stressors (like anxiety)

.. and more

↓ Locked ↓

Dissociation

Fight/flight response

Overwhelm

Bigger stressors

Major life changes

Re-occurring trauma

.. and more

Just a reminder that all systems are different, and these same reasons that causes to be stuck/lock will result in an opposite reaction such as rapid switching or being blurry! This post is mainly for those who experience stuck/lock.

Then, how do i get my leg out?!

I can tell you that, but i have to explain how this ordeal happened in the first place so it'll make sense, bare with me;

You know the parasympathetic (rest) and sympathetic (fight/flight) response, yeah? These two responses flicks on depending when there's safety or presented threats. Now, DMN is a part of the parasympathetic response, the full name is Default Mode Network, which is fully responsible for.. well.. default stuffs such as mind wandering, planning, thinking inwards,, those typical things that happen when you're bored. This is also the reason you why can facilitate better communication with other parts compared to when, let's say, being busy with tasks.

Know it or not, sometimes our mind has to wander a little bit in order to chat with other parts of ourself, and stress snaps us out of that relaxed state in purpose of focusing whats at outside, rather than inside, which where everything system-y lies at. Some do not get affected and still can function as-if, so understand how your system works and use that to the advantage.

How to hack yourself from fight/flight to rest mode again? Via vagus nerve stimulation! Not sure if you ever heard of this word, but the vagus is one part of the cranial nerves that is responsible for the activation of this parasympathetic response..! It's like the oil to the glue, because it hijacks the adhesive properties with something so viscous that it binds to it instead of you!! --

Here are some activities you can do to disable the glue:

Gurgle water, hum, or sing: this is because the vagus is located around your neck, and can be easily stimulated that way.

Watch something: redirecting yourself with a distraction can ease you temporarily, giving time to calm down, which brings you out of the grips of stress.

Listen to music: another way if you don't have anything to watch, even better if you put on soothing, slower songs.

Move around: get those pented up anxiety or restlessness out! movement equals expression, this also activates the vagus nerve.

Breathe deeply: rebalance the vagus by breathing in and out slowly, this nerve is also responsible for your breathing pace too, so giving a little push of balance will create a domino effect for your nerve to work.

Unfocus your eyes: or, another way to do it is to focus more on the peripheral vision rather than the vocal point. This is a way to poke the same nerve's functions, oddly can work as a booster to make yourself slightly dissociated/disconnected which facilitates switches or a general break/distraction.

Solve/asses it: it will be nothing if you do not tackle the thing you are very stressed out about, which can extend how long you'll be stuck,, so use these tips above to regain self control and tackle them with me, or your trusted friends, or even alone after examining what could be done! Talking to someone also helps, even if there's nothing productive being done.

Take it easy and break it down: this one is if you're on a role job and things are being difficult, incase you're overwhelmed, remember to do it step by step, no need to be rash about getting back in first, that time will come as long you focus whats in front.

Remember, fight/flight brings us out from clarity and rational thinking, thanks to our limbic part of the brain who is primed for survival and instincts. Be more gentle with yourself, as you could be more irritable, moody, or resorting to less-safe coping mechanisms, focus on calming down before proceeding the situation.

Takeaway

So, what will you do if you're stuck next time? Don't forget to make a plan to deal this sticky situation, especially for those who are often stuck, this practice will practice your vagus nerve to be less susceptible, turning off because of stress,, giving you a better stress window and tolerance before succumbing once more.... to the good ol' glue.

Lastly, it is possible to be stuck/lock for months or years, which is an indicator of underlying long-term issues that needs to be addressed. If anyone needs some tips for this, ring me on the DMs as these practices rarely work for this type.

Oh, and, what do you guys think? What else i had not mentioned? Do you have anything to discuss with me on this topic? Let's do that! I hope this suffice in helping you tackle the next time problems arise.

Happy straddling lil' ant.

- j

[pdid-positivity]

Is it a headmate? Is it a fragment? Is it a facet? Is it a persona? Am I subconsciously masking? Am I subconsciously/involuntarily otherlinking/copinglinking? Is it a kinshift? Is it a ’flicker? Is it age regression? Is it a mood? Is it impulsivity? Is it an intrusive thought that I’m reacting to? Is it genderfluidity? Is it pronoun/namefluidity?

Who knows! Who cares! I don’t need to stress about this, it doesn’t matter! It’s a mode that the “I” is in, the way I feel in that moment! And I will make a pluralkit/tupperbox for it so I can express myself and decide the rest later! Or never! These labels are a construct! Personhood itself is a construct! I don’t need to box myselves! I can just live!

[pdid-positivity]

Honestly I am afraid to confront my plurality. I am front stuck most of the time so the idea of not is scary. I don't want to switch with anyone, I don't want to go to my headspace. Even if it comfort me knowing I had some company this entire time. I don't know. This thing is new to me. I'm scared.

Hello dear; it's totally fine to be scared and unsure of what is going on, or scared of leaving front.

Its new and scary, but i promise there is nothing to be scared about. It should be reassuring to know you don't *have* to leave front if you really don't want too; infact our Host doesn't! He stays to the side and usually lounges in the farmhouse, but never leaving front.

I believe this is called co-con or co-fronting.

Of course, with time there may be instances of where you're pulled out of front by force; but its kot ss scary as you think! It can be jarring yes, but it is not going to harm you.

I suggest slowly letting some control away, with your own comfort of course in mind, so do not push it if you do not wish too do s certain thing.

I also suggest explaining your fear and worries to your headmates, in whatever your perfered communication is. Communication can go a long way and trust is important no matter what.

I also want to say that your fear, and worry, and anxiety is valid, and infact i bet alot of people have felt that same fear and worry, your not alone.

You're going to be okay, i promise.

We all have our own journey, but there are similar ones right along with you.

We hope this brings some comfort.

-Oxford

[pdid-positivity]

St tng reaction to a pdid reader

Beverly crusher

Diagnosed you

She sends you to therapy

Tries to not freak you out if you were unaware of it

Tori

She can feel your alters based on vibe

She trues to guide you toward tranquility to ease y’all’s anxiety

She tells you not to be scared of it and that you are in a safe environment to be y’all’s selfs

Geordi

He saw your Aura change but just thought you were an alien or some shit

Hol up you were human

He gets your worry about how this may change how others treat you

Encourages you not to mask in front of people

Likes seeing y’all in makeup now and again

Picard

Was notified by Beverly/tori

He makes sure to ask how your holding up

He is super chill with it (ambassadorandallthat)

He tells you you are still a part of star fleet and has a heart to heart with you about it

Riker

He did notice your behavior change now and again

If you’re in a relationship/fling with him he notices you have a persona when doing it

If you have facial hair he notices you occasionally doing a double take when you see your reflection

Data

Intrigued

Tells you about the time a creepy old guy took over his body to become immortal and the both of them shared a consciousness for a short while

You lowkey freak out and make a lame excuse to leave

Geordi tells him to apologize and that’s not what you were talking about

When you explain your experience with it he basically recites the icd 11 and you tell him bev already told you

He finds it interesting how your brain works and how little things about you change

Has a habit of referring to you as they regardless of what pronouns you’re using because of the plurality

Q

Fucker already knew before you did

When he’s pulling q bullshit he makes trials based on trying to get you to figure out how to work better with your self

Everyone is so confused why he refers to you as multiple people compared to a single person

Which leads you to bev diagnosing you

When your alters have more autonomy on the body (shaving,makeup,hair) he responds to the alter directly 

still fucks with y’all though

[pdid-positivity]

plural joy is not giving two pennies how people's systems function.

you only have a system of 2? heck yeah. you basically never switch? heck yeah. you're constantly burry? heck YEAH it's none of my business!!!!!!!

Heck yeah!!

[pdid-positivity]

see, because of how systems are expected to still act like a singular person, we're very used to alters not really being percieved or cared about on an individual level? and i mean, whatever. but now, because of that, any attempt to interact with a specific alter will make us love you forever. so be warned

[pdid-positivity]

Bg3 companions react to a pdid tav

Gale

• dude thinks it’s so interesting

• asks a ton of questions about your system

• he noticed what type of spells you preferred based on alter

• will help with sensory issues

•when he figures out who’s co fronting he’s so pleased with himself

• noticed when your tastebuds were different 

Lae’zel

• genuinely thought you were a sleeper agent

• notices you co con/shift more than you do

• (if warlock) assumes it’s a warlock thing

• noticed your behavior changed and adapted

Wyll

• oh shit me too

• especially when you explained non possessive switches and related a little too hard

• he’s happy you “came out” to him

• your ability to sword fight or lack thereof makes sense now

• noticed that your agility would change

• starts keeping a journal about his system

Shadowheart

• oh so that’s why you try and tough out pain instead of getting healed in spite of your low pain tolerance

• regardless is glad to have you around

• she noticed your religious beliefs change on a whim and was a bit bewildered before you told her

• she’s curious how this works if you’re a paladin/warlock/cleric

• when your attitude would change depending on who’s co fronting shed tease you about it

Astarian

• Depending were you are in the game changes how he acts

• try’s to smooth talk your alters if you don’t know about the vamp thing yet

• your blood tastes different to him based on blood pressure

• assumed your change in character was just a bard thing

Karlack

• oh neat

• she noticed that sometimes your a bit more adventurous and other times cautious

• double the amount of affection

• thought your change in behavior was just a leader thing

Halsin

• knew a few people like you

• thought it was just a Druid thing

• if you are a Druid he encourages you to be more animal like

• noticed when your sexuality changed and teased you about your crushes changing

• helps you when your fine motor skills would change 

 

[pdid-positivity]

shoutout to systems who aren't as distinct or seperate

SHOUTOUT TO MEDIAN AND MEDIPLE SYSTEMS ON ANY PART OF THAT SPECTRUM

SHOUTOUT TO SYSTEMS WHO HAVE HEADMATES THAT ARE VERY SIMILAR

SHOUTOUT TO SYSTEMS WHO ARE MOSTLY OR ENTIRELY SPIN-OFFS OF THE CORE OR HOST

SHOUTOUT TO SYSTEMS THAT ALL SEEM TO ACT, BEHAVE, AND SPEAK SIMILARLY

SHOUTOUT TO SYSTEMS THAT HAVE MULTIPLE INTROJECTS OF ONE THING/CHARACTER/PERSON THAT ALL SEEM TO ACT/BEHAVE ALIKE

We deserve the same recognition as other systems. We're in the plural community too.

[pdid-positivity]

Me when I was a "singlet": I wonder if my system friends think it's cheesy when I say "ya'll" or "you guys" to them.

Me knowing I'm a system, after someone just referred to us as "you guys":

[pdid-positivity]

Heh more positivity >:)

Shout out to persecutors!

Shout out to prosecutors!

Shout out to protectors!

Shout out to caregivers/caretakers!

And of course, all of you, remember: you are valid!! And you're amazing, and we're so happy to know you're here!

[pdid-positivity]

Shout out to caregivers!

Shout out to caretakers!

Shout out to babysitters!

Shout out to petsitters!

Shout out to personal protectors!

Y'all are awesome and very helpful!!! I hope you all have a very good day, and please remember to take breaks! Don't tire yourselves out too much, friends!!