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31 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 11

B-

Skiena brought me down to a waterfall in Lion’s Arch to start my lessons. I didn’t figure it’d be easy, after all, if it were, I imagine everyone would try- I just didn’t think it’d be this hard.

She said to concentrate on the water, listen to it. To breath. Do that until my mind was relaxed. Then, she had me say some sort of chant. Seemed a little odd, but…it works. Kinda. I’m sure if I had her focus, it’d be better.

‘Peaceful is the silence. I turn my back and raise my voice, High above the cacophony of others. I will stand alone.’

I didn’t have much success, and the second we stopped Daen caught up to me.He said Maedryn is still at his house. I feel like shit, and I know him and Skiena are right- I need to apologize. I just don’t know if I can. Being in a room with him feels impossible. I do like him, but…I’m afraid. I’ll keep my word, though. I’ll talk to him when I wake up.

I feel better about it after spending the rest of the evening with Skiena. I don’t know if she knows how much I enjoy spending time with her, and not just because she’s quiet. Conversation with her feels easy, and she’s really good company. I even showed her the shed, which now that I think about it, I don’t think anyone else has ever seen.

I did mean to give her that flower later, but. Then seemed right. Tomorrow, I’m going to do her proud…I don’t want her to be disappointed in me again.

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30 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 10

B-

Two entries today. Just been that sort of day, I guess. GROW has some sort of mission- something to do with Amalwyn, and her getting poisoned. Business that’s before my time.

Eccathea had provided a lot of the evidence they’d gathered. It was…weirdly nice. At first. whoever they’re up against, they’re running a rather interesting laundering scheme…might be sad that that sort of thing is interesting to me. Oh well. R.’s fault. I swear, that woman’s business is contagious.

Anyway- the discoveries led to several conclusions, though the most surprising seemed to be that Amalwyn was on a hit list. Basically, tonight was fucking horrible.

Though, Skiena did agree to teach me how to meditate. Maybe that’ll make all this easier.

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30 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 8

B- I got lucky last night. Carruther’s- Daen’s butler- was the only one up when I got there. So after getting my armor, I took the gate to Lion’s Arch. I probably should’ve slept, but I couldn’t find rest. There’s just too much to think about right now. Skiena should be here soon. *Don’t forget to mail R..

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29 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 7

B-

I feel bad for leaving Divinity’s Reach without saying anything- to Maedryn, or to Daen. I don’t know what I’ll tell Daen when I get back, or Maedryn if he’s still there. Part of me hopes he’s not.

A lot of me knows he will be.

I decided to go south, and ended up finding myself in the area of Mosseux’s new place. Ran into Skiena outside, and we paid a visit. He seems happy there.

Skiena invited me to go to Bloodcoast with her, and considering how I left things, maybe a trip is just what I need. Of course, I’ll have to go back to the house to get my armor and bow.

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27 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 6

I met him. I saw him. I kissed him. His name is Maedryn, and I’m terrified. He’s asleep right here and all I can think about is my Dream. I can’t stay here, I won’t.

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25 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 5

Brother-

I’ve had a lot of thoughts, but not a lot of words, so I didn’t write. I went to Méadaigh’s headquarters (house, base?) in Lion’s Arch. Everyone seems friendly for the most part so far, though I certainly came in at a stressful time.

One of their own has been accused of murder, and the Order of Whispers seems deadset on getting this guy. I’m trying to keep my nose clear of it. Too many high running emotions for my taste, and Mosseux- one of the first GROW members I spoke to- has already been injured.

Other than that though, I enjoy the company I’ve found here. Everyone is extremely kind, at least, mostly. Eccathea is very…I’m not sure how to describe her. While she has shown me nothing but kindness, she seems to run on highs…and her kindness doesn’t seem to always prevail. Fionnula on the other hand, she makes me think of a rock. In a good way.

One person has really stuck out though, and that’s Skiena. She’s a Soundless. I’d heard of them before, though never had actually spoken to one before. We talked for awhile about what that meant, and honestly- I kind of envy her. I wish I could just shut everyone else out at times. I don’t envy that loneliness she talked about, though. Even if I don’t spend much time with other Sylvari, I can’t imagine being without that feeling of…I don’t know. Wholeness. Of never being alone. Then again, I’ve never known anything else.

Skiena is really just, amazingly kind as well. I don’t know her well yet, but she feels like a genuine friend. I hope to know her better.

I hope to know all of them better.

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19 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 4

Brother-

I got turned around in Caledon on my way out of the place, luckily, I met a man who was just as lost as I was. At least he knew how to read a map. His name is Daen Lytharih, and he said that he was leaving the Mists and found himself a long ways off from Lion’s Arch. He’s friendly, though a little odd. I like him, though. He’s offered to let me stay with him at his home in Divinity’s Reach so that I can get to know the city better.

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18 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 3

Brother-

I arrived in the Grove late in the night and found myself lost. Big surprise. Found a friendly looking woman who was recruiting for a group- Méadaigh. I have an interview later. I’m not sure why I’m doing this, but maybe it is time for me to be a part of something. That does most people good, right?

The interview went well, and there’s some good news. They’re based in Lion’s Arch.

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17 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P. 2

I thought about it. I thought, and I decided that I can’t write down what I’m thinking. It doesn’t work. I need to do something though, because Tate is a shit listener. So here goes. Dear person who has, for some reason or another, decided to pick up this journal and decided to waste valuable moments of their life reading it- I’m going to just call you Brother. My hand is already cramping. Brother- I’m in Caledon Forest today, for the first time since my Awakening- so that’d be about eight months. I don’t know why, but three days ago, I left Lion’s Arch. I’m not sure why, because I liked it there, I had a good place to stay, good work to do, good people to talk to- though I guess that’s in a sort, my curse. I go out for bread and the next thing I know, I’m knee deep in the swamps miles from where I started. It’s already uncomfortable here, being so close to so many Sylvari. Don’t get me wrong, Brother, I like my brothers and sisters, I’ve never met any of them that I didn’t like. Most are good, and honest, and kind- but so many, they’re passionate. That’s why, I think, I left in the first place. I hadn’t meant to leave initially, but...well, maybe I should start from the beginning? I remember when I woke up, everything was amazing. I was Awake, and I’d thought, free from the Dream. Everything had been fine, for about as long as it took for a sister to hand me clothes. Then, when I went into the Grove. It was overwhelming. From joy to anger, to even feeling the discomfort of hunger when I was full. There was just so much. After a few days, I went for a walk. Haven’t looked back since. Or at least, hadn’t until I passed from Brisban to here tonight. Even sitting out here, in the middle of nowhere, I can tell that I’m closer to the Grove. It makes my stomach churn, but when I thought to turn back, I couldn’t. R. would say that there’s a reason I’m being drawn back. R. is insane.

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15 Season of the Phoenix, 1328 AE.

P.1

I bought a journal today- never thought to have one of these things. R. says it might help. Says that for some, writing down your happiness, your worries...it makes them a little better. Takes it off you and puts it onto a page. Not sure that R. is the type of person to be taking advice from, but I suppose if anyone knows about having problems, she does. I don’t know what to write. What are you supposed to write in these things? I asked. R. says some folks write their thoughts out, others write letters. Some just write their story. Thoughts- I’m-