pedanticpandemic

[pedanticpandemic]

I am deeply offended by this! I was reading thoughts on what D&D classes the characters of The Mummy (1999) would be, and there was a comment that Jonathan was obviously a rogue, but either a badly built one or one with shit dice rolls. And! Excuse you? Jonathan is a perfectly acceptable rogue! He rolls fine when he’s actually attempting to do something!

In the first movie alone, some of his greatest hits:

Successfully pickpocketed Rick on their first meeting, without Rick so much as joining the dots until later.

Survives a pitched battle on a burning ship without a scratch, and somehow gets the key from a burning hook-handed enemy mook in the process. (“And did I panic? I think not!”)

Survives a pitched battle in the Hamunaptra ruins while drunk, through liberal use of cover and picking off targets at range.

Rolls a Nat 20 on his deception check to avoid being massacred by a large group of hynotised enemies in the museum.

Survives the final pitched battle with the undead (again, through liberal use of cover, hiding and running).

Successfully makes his intelligence roll to translate the Book of Amun Ra (with the Help action from Evie).

Successfully uses the resulting control over the undead mooks to even out the battlefield, including the genius brain move of sending them after Ankh-Su-Namun to both save Evie and distract Imhotep.

Successfully pickpockets a lich while being strangled by him to regain the key and enable Evie to use the book to banish Imhotep altogether.

Yes, he’s fairly flimsy in direct battle, and if at all possible refuses to get to melee range with anybody. So he’s a ranged rogue, and has a tendency to use the environment to his advantage. But he’s clearly designed around Sleight of Hand, Charisma, and a decent sprinkling of Intelligence, and prefers to use object interactions and battlefield control to even out his odds. For all that, though, he fully will stay in melee range if he has no other choice, and take the opportunity to pickpocket the BBEG while he’s at it.

He's a perfectly serviceable rogue, he’s just not optimised for straight combat. And even there, as the second movie shows, he’s excellent at ranged combat. He just doesn’t like getting up close and personal.

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[pedanticpandemic]

[pedanticpandemic]

"ccute baby bunny compilation" "cutest rabbit videos!" "cute bunny so sweet every video" NO. i want FUNNY rabbit. i want rabbit STUPID compilatiom. I want every video of a rabbit thumping over some inane thing . i want a compilation of ever rabbit thats ever jumped in a trash bin. show me the goddamn animal

[pedanticpandemic]

[pedanticpandemic]

going wild thinking about the use of Rocky Road to Dublin in Sinners. It’s a really tight microcosm of a lot of the film’s themes just by itself. Credentials: I’m a retired Irish dancer, I went to worlds and the whole bit. My family is appalachian and I grew up on bluegrass

It’s played on a banjo, an instrument with origins in West Africa formally invented in the US by enslaved people (and then popularized in Irish music through Irish American immigrants, largely in the South and Appalachia). Even the instrument telegraphs an attempt at cultural exchange morphing into theft and exploitation, especially because the history of the banjo has been purposefully obscured by white people

It’s got a strong down beat, making it the musical opposite of the swung blues sound (emphasis on 1/3 as opposed to 2/4). The scene is clearly meant to evoke klan imagery, and giving it this marching feel ABSOLUTELY contributes

It’s in 9/8 meter (with some mixed—it’s a uniquely weird song), making it, traditionally, a slip jig. Historically, this is a light shoe dance for women only (he’s dancing hard shoe in the movie) meaning that Remmick’s attempt to reclaim his own culture has been botched, obscured, and lost as he’s been alienated from it and co-opted into the symbolic hive of American whiteness/cultural orphanage/cultural patricide.

The song itself is about a guy cutting a shillelagh (a walking stick/club with a folkloric purpose of warding off evil spirits) to protect himself on his journey to Dublin, but winding up using it against a few Englishmen mocking him for his Irish accent. It’s a parallel to exactly what Remmick was not able to do—protect himself from monsters, and protect himself from colonization. It also highlights that this number is being used to threaten violence against the leads

It’s such a clever combination of inverting swing/jazz sounds and showing ways Remmick is missing the point. Since he sold his soul for power, comfort, and conformity, he’s only able to access a shadow of his culture, while misunderstanding and misrepresenting major pieces of his own traditions. Even his attempts to culturally “share” through the banjo is plowed over by his use of it and Black bodies and voices for his own individual pleasure and as a threat of further violence. It’s such a smart pick

[pedanticpandemic]

I can be trusted with an industrial grade sticker machine

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A tale in 4 parts

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They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[pedanticpandemic]

I wish there were a way to differentiate "tired because I'm understimulated and will get energized and have fun if I go out" and "tired because I'm really just tired and I'll be boring and grumpy if I go out"

[pedanticpandemic]

Can confirm, it did be like this.

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[pedanticpandemic]

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

[pedanticpandemic]

It’s spring, which means it’s ruffed grouse season, which means I wake up every morning to a tiny feathered Harley Davidson revving up outside