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peotego · 1 year ago

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Unconditionally | James' POV

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader

Summary: Unconditionally but from James' POV.

Warnings: some swear words, Sirius being an ass in the beginning, my English? (since it’s not my first language)

Words: 3,5k+

Masterlist

In James Potter’s life, there was only one girl.

The only girl he ever had eyes on.

Oh, how he loved to look at her smile or laugh with her friends. How he adored the way she would throw her head back when he told a really funny joke. How absolutely and utterly in love with her he was.

He sometimes looked at her as if she was the one who hung the stars and the moon herself. As if she was the ruler of an old kingdom and he was supposed to serve her night and day. She was the first person he thought about in the morning and the last one in his mind before going to sleep.

But she was also his best friend’s sister.

She was untouchable.

And James Potter was seriously fucked.

He remembered when he first thought about her in a non-friendly way. It was quite soon when she stopped being just a buddy he would hang out with and started being the girl.

It was shortly after the Christmas break in their first year. (Y/N) and Sirius were already on a train and he came in late. (Y/N) was wearing a black dress and that was the first time when James noticed she was actually a girl. Of course, the girls in Hogwarts were wearing skirts as the uniform required it but James never paid a mind to it. However on that very train at the beginning of January, he noticed that one of his mates was a beautiful girl.

He didn’t know what to do with those feelings so he tried talking to his best friend about it.

A bad idea, right? Since his best friend was also a brother of the girl he was developing feelings for.

”Sirius, we need to talk”

”What’s up, mate?” Sirius was lying on his bed mindlessly playing with some spells he read about. Remus was in the common room trying to read a book and Peter was nowhere to be found.

”I think I have a crush on this girl” confessed James. That caught Sirius’ attention as he smiled wickedly.

”Really? Who is she?”

”It’s (Y/N)”

”(Y/N)? As in my sister (Y/N)?”

”Well, yeah”

James looked at his best friend expectantly. He did expect a piece of advice on what to do with those feelings or how to act on them. What he did not expect was the outburst.

Sirius was angry, furious even.

”James, she is my sister, you can’t have a crush on her!” Sirius stood from the bed and looked at James in shock ”She is my sister!” He repeated ”She is off limits for you. If you ever try to pursue her, it will ruin our friendship! Imagine what would happen if things didn’t work out between you two. How am I supposed to pick sides? What would you expect me to do? Side with you? Because I couldn’t do that! She is my family and I would have to pick her over you! Do you really want to ruin our friendship like that? Does it really mean that little to you?”

”Sirius, calm down” James panicked ”It’s just a stupid crush, it will pass”

”It better do, James, because we’re gonna have a big problem”

For a few days, James avoided (Y/N) like a plague. He was only eleven years old and he really thought that by acting on his weird feelings he would completely ruin his friendship with Sirius. It didn't help that by saying "we're gonna have a big problem" James thought Sirius implied he would beat him up.

James would not only lose (Y/N) but also Sirius. So he tried to get over it.

*~*~*

But in their third year, he still had those feelings. He was still crushing on his best friend’s sister. And he was truly terrified.

He started to hate those butterflies that appeared whenever (Y/N) was in the same room, whenever she talked to him, laughed with him, or touched his shoulder.

It was so obvious that Sirius picked on it and started a very serious talk with his friends one night.

”Guys, gather up, we need to talk about something very important” Remus looked at James and raised his eyebrows as if James knew what it was all about. Potter only shrugged his shoulders. When all three boys gathered close to Sirius’ bed, Black started talking.

”You’re probably wondering what is this all about. So let me explain. Birds told me that one of you has unconventional feelings for my sister. Look, I get it. (Y/N) is amazing. She’s smart, funny, kind, and she’s got this incredible smile that can light up a room. Believe me, I know, I live with her. Guys, respect the boundaries. Falling in love with my sister can complicate our friendship and put my sister in a tough spot, and I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable or pressured in any way. I want you all to know that I appreciate you guys. We’ve got each other’s backs, we’re like a family. I want to trust you and I want to know that you won’t hurt my sister. Let’s keep the love we have for (Y/N) as sisterly as possible and keep our romantic interests directed somewhere else.”

”What?” Asked Peter when Sirius ended his little TED talk ”Who has a crush on (Y/N)? Is it you Remus?”

”Doesn’t matter” said Sirius quickly ”Just promise me, all of you, that you will never ever fall in love with my sister”

James stared at his best friend in disbelief. He felt betrayed, slapped in the face. What was he supposed to do other than agree to Sirius’ madness?

”Well, I can promise you that,” Remus said as the first one of the group.

”Me too” added Peter.

Sirius looked expectantly at James as the other two of their friends also looked his way. So as not to look suspicious, James shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

”Yeah, sure, I have my eyes on a different girl, I think she’ll be the future Mrs Potter” James lied. It was so easy to do so that he was surprised himself.

”Oh, yeah? Who is she?” Sirius didn’t believe him at all, he still remembered the conversation they had in their first year, and he still remembered the way James looked at his sister with lovey-dovey eyes.

”It’s… Lily Evans!” James himself was surprised when he heard what he had said. Lily Evans was one of (Y/N)’s friends, they were inseparable, always sitting together, laughing together, or whispering about some secrets during dinner. It was an obvious choice. Simple.

”My, my, James” Sirius smirked ”Then we have to ensure you go on a date with Evans soon!”

From that day forward James Potter pursued Lily Evans, even though he never liked her as more than a friend. But he wanted Sirius to stop being suspicious of him.

So he declared his love for the redhead girl the next morning to the whole school.

*~*~*

As years went by James’ feelings for (Y/N) only grew stronger. Each encounter with Sirius’ sister became an exquisite torture, a stolen sip from a well of emotions. He observed her, like a creepy stalker.

In the deepest parts of him, James harbored an affection, silent and concealed, a love he knew was not his to claim. He was a prisoner of this affection, torn between loyalty to his best friend and the magnetic pull of his heart towards his best friend’s sister.

When during one party in their 6th year Marlene suggested a game of Spin the Bottle, James was excited. That was his way to steal a kiss from the girl of his dreams without Sirius growing suspicious of him. It was only a game after all, right?

But when Remus mentioned that he shared his first real kiss with (Y/N) Black, James saw green. He sulked in his seat sending daggers into his friend’s back. If looks could kill, Remus would be long dead by now. And when he got to be the first one to kiss her in the game, years later, James’ angry fist hit the floor a little too much which made Mary look at him with a smirk.

As the game progressed James became more desperate so without his friends knowing he enchanted the bottle when (Y/N) spun it so it would definitely land on him.

He watched as her eyes went wide with the realisation of who she was supposed to kiss and James was scared for a minute that she would choose to tell the truth and drink instead of kissing him. But she didn’t. And he couldn’t be happier.

Her demeanor quickly changed and she smirked wickedly while saying ”Two out of three. Better get ready Peter”

Sirius shouted something about this whole situation being disgusting but James paid no mind to him. He was definitely too drunk to care. Slowly he got up from the place where he sat on the floor and made his way to (Y/N). When he positioned himself before her, he looked deep into her eyes and, oh Merlin, how he loved those eyes. Those eyes held the power over him. He marveled at the way they sparkled like stars in a night sky. He loved the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, how he could read her like an open book only by one look.

James put his hand on (Y/N)’s cheek and leaned into her. When his lips crushed on hers James could swear he saw fireworks. And when she kissed him back with just as much force he could only smile into the kiss. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth while she grasped his shirt trying to bring him closer. Oh, sweet Merlin, James could only dream about a moment like that. When (Y/N) bit his lower lip he couldn’t help but moan.

James tried bringing her closer to him if that was even possible, but his drunk self had too much strength and they fell to the ground, (Y/N)’s body under his.

”That’s enough, Prongs, it’s my sister” Sirius’ strong arms pulled James from (Y/N). Potter couldn’t help himself and grimaced but luckily Sirius didn’t see anything because he helped his sister get up. The only person who saw his face was Lily as she smiled at him knowingly.

*~*~*

That same night when the girls went to their dorm, Sirius started a conversation.

”How is it, Prongs, that you’re supposedly in love with Evans but couldn’t get enough of my sister while kissing her, hm? I thought you two were gonna have sex right in front of us”

”Padfoot, please, stop it already. We talked about it in our third year”

”Yeah, I remember, but I can’t shake the feeling that you lied to me”

”Padfoot…”

”He’s not wrong, James,” said Peter getting ready for bed ”You two looked very… comfortable”

”Horny, Wormtail, the word you were looking for is horny” added Sirius. ”See? I’m not the only one seeing this!”

”You’re all delusional. I’m going to bed”

So the next day during breakfast James shouted how much he loved Lily Evans even though it wasn’t true. And Evans kinda looked disappointed.

*~*~*

When the summer break between their 6th and 7th year at Hogwarts came, Sirius and (Y/N) spent it at the Potters. And while James couldn’t be more happy about it he was also angry that his best friend tried to be everywhere with them. Sirius wouldn’t leave (Y/N) and James alone even for one minute.

So when Sirius felt sick, James tried to twist the situation to his advantage and asked (Y/N) if she wanted to stargaze with him.

”Jamie, your father wants me to marry you,” she said unexpectedly and James felt shivers run down his spine. He would kill Fleamont Potter for his big mouth later.

”What?!”

”Yeah, crazy, right? He thinks I’m your mystery girl”

Because you are and he knows it, thought James to himself.

”Oh, and what did you tell him?”

”That it’s definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that we’ll see”

”I have no idea why he said that, I’m very sorry” After what she said James thought that she wasn’t interested in him in any way. He needed to protect his own heart. So he distanced himself.

”No big deal, Potter”

While James was sulking and drowning in his own unrequited feelings, (Y/N) suddenly spoke again.

”James”

”(Y/N)”

”I’ve been thinking about you and Lily for a while”

What?

”Oh?”

”Yeah. I think she doesn’t deserve you”

That’s interesting, thought James.

”How so?”

”You see, Jamie, you’ve been trying to get the girl since we were thirteen years old and she’s still not even slightly interested in going on a date with you. She’s always laughing at you, turning you down. I don’t think that’s very good for you. I get that you’re in love with her but maybe you should start thinking about yourself a little bit?”

A stupid, stupid heart that started to beat faster. A glimmer of hope appeared inside of James.

”What do you mean?”

”You deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I don’t think Lily is the right girl for you. I'm also not saying you should do whatever I’m telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if it’s even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and it’s her loss if she cannot see that”

If James Potter was confused before, imagine him in that moment. (Y/N) Black made no sense to him. She said that he should look for a girl that would give him all the love he deserved but she didn’t see that she was the girl he already loved.

So James did what he always did when he was confused. He joked.

”Wow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?”

”You’re also an idiot” She slapped his shoulder and just like that they got back to where they started - to being just friends, which James hated by the way. "I’m your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so much."

”You are a good mate, (Y/N) Thank you for always looking out for me”

Idiot, idiot, idiot.

He didn’t mean to say it.

But what are you supposed to say to the girl you love when you’re not sure if she harbors the same feelings for you?

He gently took her hand In his and interceded their fingers. How he longed for that to mean more.

”Always”

*~*~*

After that conversation, when their 7th year began, James Potter promised himself that he would do absolutely everything in his power to convince (Y/N) Black that they were meant to be. So he stopped pursuing Lily Evans and after a long talk with her, when she advised him to just stop listening to Sirius and finally get the girl of his dreams, he began thinking about his master plan.

James Potter did everything a boy romantically interested in a girl would do, at least that's what he thought. He always sat next to her in classes, and he partnered up with her which made Sirius angry, he sat with her in the library and just watched as she was doing her homework, he walked her to her classes even when they had different ones and it meant he would be late to his.

So when the time came in October, when the Marauders’ prank was planned to happen, James was excited. He was the one who told the Ravenclaw prefect to be in that specific corridor at that time, he even paid him to be there. So when he started to chase the group and Remus suggested scattering, James paid no mind to anybody else while he grabbed (Y/N)’s hand and dragged her to the broom closet nearby.

And in that broom closet, he was finally able to confess his feelings. When (Y/N) said she reciprocated his feeling he couldn’t help himself.

But then the realisation came and James was mortified.

If he thought that the conversation with Sirius Black wasn’t going to be a big problem, he must have been an idiot. He had the girl of his dreams but he was scared to death with the thought of losing his best friend. In all of his master plan, James Potter didn’t think beyond the moment of saying ”I love you” in the broom closet. He wouldn’t dare to dream about (Y/N) reciprocating his feelings.

So now he had a problem.

(Y/N) and James dated in secret for a month while James thought about how to break the news to his best friend. (Y/N) only laughed at his imaginary scenarios because she thought her brother wouldn’t have that big of a problem.

She was right, Sirius Black grew up since they were all thirteen years old.

But James Potter was still scared.

”Padfoot,” said James looking in the direction of his best friend. Sirius was lying on the bed just like he was six years ago when they first talked about it. Remus was reading a book nearby while Peter was looking franticly for his Transfiguration essay. ”I need to talk to you”

”What’s up, Prongs? You have an idea for our next prank? Because I think (Y/N) mentioned something about invading Slytherin common room and painting it red and gold and I would love to do that”

”No, but it does concern (Y/N)”

”I'm all ears ten”

”Remember when we first talked about me having a crush on your sister when we were eleven?”

”It was you?” Shouted Peter surprised ”I literally thought it was Remus who fancied (Y/N)”

”Shut up, Wormtail. James is going to say something important. I remember. Go on, mate” Sirius tried not to smile. He knew already. (Y/N) told him but he patiently waited for his best friend to finally confess.

”And remember when you came up with that stupid rule when we were thirteen?”

”Yeah”

”And remember when I said I fancy Lily Evans then?”

”I think we all remember”

”I lied”

”I know”

”I’m madly in love with your sister, Padfoot. And I’m sorry, I really tried to get over her so as not to ruin our friendship. Merlin, I tried so hard but it’s impossible. I believe she’s the love of my life, mate. I want to make her happy, I want to be the one she smiles at, I want to tell her all the jokes just to hear her laugh, I want to marry her one day. That’s why I’m sorry, Padfoot. Because you are my best friend and I didn’t listen to you, I went behind your back, and lied to you for a month. But I'm not sorry for loving your sister. I believe (Y/N) is the one”

There was silence between the four of them for a while.

James looked as if he was about to die, Peter looked at his best friend with wide eyes, Remus tried to cover up his laugh behind a book, and Sirius… Sirius was staring at his friend without showing any emotion.

”What time is it, Wormtail?” Asked the Black heir instead.

”Um, it’s almost midnight, why?”

”And what day is it?”

”November 29th?”

”Moony, my dear, pay up”

”What?” James was surprised. He expected screaming, maybe a hex or two directed at him. But Sirius was completely calm when he grabbed a few galleons from Remus.

”You see, Prongs, I already knew. You weren’t very subtle over the years. I suspected something but you always insisted you loved Evans so I waited, patiently may I add. And finally, you broke down. I expected you would do so in our 7th year somewhere close to the end of November, Moony said that’s impossible and opted for the end of our 7th year. Prongs, I just won a bet thanks to you.”

”You’re not mad?”

”Well, you see, I would be mad if we were children. But we grew up since that time, mate. I feel weird knowing that you’re snogging my sister but as long as you’re both happy, it’s fine with me. Just don’t hurt her cause then I would be obliged to hurt you too. You know, because I’m the older brother and so on”

”I don’t intend on hurting her, Padfoot. I want to marry her”

*~*~*

Just like James Potter said, he actually did marry (Y/N) Black two years later. And Sirius gave the most hilarious best man’s speech everyone has ever heard mentioning that he always knew these two would end up together (to which Remus screamed ”NOT TRUE” so loud that Peter fell from his chair).

A year later, they all attended Sirius and Remus' wedding.

And only a few days later (Y/N) found out she was pregnant. James couldn't have been happier, and Sirius shouted something about being the best godfather on the whole planet.

When they all decorated the nursery, James could only smile. With his best friends by his side, the love of his life sleeping soundly in their shared bedroom, and the baby soon to be born, he had everything he ever dreamed of.

And all was well.

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peotego · 1 year ago

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Unconditionally | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader

Summary: Three times when you realised you are in love with your brother’s best friend and one time when it all suddenly made sense.

Warnings: some swear words, my English? (since it’s not my first language)

Words: 4k

Masterlist

James' POV

*~*~*

Whenever I tried to think back to the time when it all started, I couldn’t exactly pinpoint the moment when I realised I loved James Potter.

He was my brother’s best friend, for Merlin’s sake!

I remember I hated him when we first met. Maybe it was because he was a Potter and my father told us to never befriend a Potter? I was, after all, a daddy’s girl at that time. Sirius loved the idea of going against our father’s orders but me? Not really. I was a good girl.

I stopped being the favourite child of the Black family when I was sorted to Gryffindor alongside my twin brother. It caused a lot of arguing back at home. Sirius was proud to be a Gryffindor. Me? Not so much. Imagine being the favourite child spoiled with compliments only to become a black sheep. I couldn’t bear it. But maybe it was good because it helped me to bond with my brother more? I was even more furious when Regulus was sorted to Slytherin the year after that and took my rightful place on the pedestal. Finally, I understood how my brothers have always felt.

At that time Sirius was a great friend. He helped me get through all the bad feelings I had about myself for something that wasn’t really my fault. Finally, I was okay with all that had happened.

But back to James Potter. The thorn in my side.

Everybody knew he loved Lily Evans, he wasn’t very discreet about his big, awful crush on her. The whole bloody Hogwarts knew about his infatuation with the redhead girl. I used to tease him about it alongside Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

Maybe it was in our 6th year? When I realised?

We were all sitting in Potions classes when Slughorn decided we should work in pairs. I turned to Lily because we usually partnered up.

“Oh, no, no, no,” said Slughron with a big smile on his face “We should mix things up a bit. I’m going to assign your partners”

All of the students present growled at his revelation. I feared I would end up with some Slytherin bloke. However, Slughorn had other plans.

And in that way, Sirius ended up working with Peter (a disaster indeed), Remus was assigned to some Slytherin girl (poor Remus), Lily with Severus Snape (well, they were still friends at that point), Dorcas with a shy girl from Gryffindor, I believed her name was Lucy (Lucy was good at Potions so Dorcas won a partners lottery), Marlene and Mary together (they worked good together), and that left me with James Potter.

I smiled at him but inside I was screaming. Everybody knew Potter was good at every single class but he rarely paid attention to the instructions. I knew I would end up doing all the work myself and constantly reminding him to focus. What I didn’t anticipate was that we would be working on an Amortentia potion. Slughorn first called us to see what the potion should look like and, of course, he asked us what we could smell.

When I tried to concentrate, I recognised the smell of old books, my favourite candy from Honeydukes, Andromeda’s famous pumpkin pie, and something I couldn’t quite recognise.

That’s when the revelation came and I was hit in the face with the smell of James’ cologne. I thought he was standing too close to me but when I looked around he was actually close to Lily Evans bothering her.

The whole class was a nightmare only because I now knew that somehow James Potter’s smell was in MY Amortentia potion. His constant questions about what I could smell didn’t help either. He was too curious for his own good.

“Just drop it, Potter”

“You probably smelled a wet rat”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night”

“I couldn’t sleep if I knew you fancied Wormtail”

“Stop, Potter, or I’m going to hex you”

“Always a charmer, Black”

He tried to touch my shoulder but I was still too scared from the moments before when I smelled him in the potion so I shuffled a little so as not to be touched by the boy. James looked confused and his smile dropped a little but I paid no attention to it, too preoccupied with my own conflicting thoughts.

When the class ended, I quickly packed my bags and left the classroom.

We never talked about it again.

*~*~*

Maybe it was at a party after Gryffindor won with Slytherin? We were all having a blast till the very end. I danced with my friends, drank a lot, and flirted with some boys who tried to get my attention. It wasn’t until our little group of friends were the only ones that stayed in the common room. Marlene had a genius plan to play Spin the Bottle. You had to kiss the person it landed on.

“I’m not going to kiss my sister, McKinnon,” said Sirius. I pretended to vomit at the mere thought of it.

“He’s right, Marlene, what are we supposed to do if it lands on one of us? I know Blacks have a tradition of marrying within the family but I really do not wish to continue this madness”

“Okay, if you don’t want to kiss someone, you need to answer a question truthfully and drink”

We all agreed to that.

Now I see it was stupid.

Remus spun the bottle first and it landed on Peter.

“Truth, please,” said Lupin and we all laughed.

“Okay, Remus, who was your first real kiss?” asked Mary. Remus looked uncomfortable, and so did I because I knew the truth.

“Um, I don’t know if she wants her identity to be revealed” Remus tried to dodge the question.

“Shut up, Moony, you agreed to play the game!” Sirius gave him a shot of firewhiskey which he needed to drink after answering the question.

“Okay” Remus sighed “It was (Y/N)”

“You kissed my sister?!”

“You wanted me to tell the truth!”

“I think I made myself very clear when I said that my sister is off-limits for you idiots!”

“Well, brother, that’s why the kiss was so good” I tried defending Remus but probably made it worse “Because it was forbidden” I winked at Remus who quickly emptied his glass and blushed like crazy.

“This conversation isn’t over” Sirius pointed at his friend “Are you going to tell me you snogged Prongs and Wormtail too?” he asked me.

“You’ll never know, brother”

Peter spinned the bottle next and it landed on Mary. It was a quick kiss.

Mary needed then to kiss Marlene.

Marlene kissed my brother who then kissed Lily.

Lily spun the bottle and I saw that James wanted really badly for it to land on him. His dreams were crushed when it stopped at Dorcas.

Then Dorcas kissed Remus.

But when Remus spun again it landed on me.

“Come here, Remus, for old times’ sake”

Sirius screamed something I couldn’t understand. The kiss with Remus was sweet and quick, just like I remembered our first one. I smiled reassuringly at him after but I knew my brother would talk his ears off later on.

I took the bottle and spun it. I prayed it wouldn’t land on Sirius.

Well.

The bottle landed on James Potter instead.

“Two out of three. Better get ready Peter” I said with a smirk but inside I was actually stressed. I still remembered his smell in amortentia.

James slowly made his way to me never once breaking the eye contact. He sat in front of me, staring intensely. He put his hand on my cheek when his lips met mine. I shut my eyes closed and kissed him back. His lips were soft and, Merlin, he knew what he was doing when he pushed his tongue inside my mouth. I grasped his shirt bringing him closer to me and biting on his lower lip. He moaned a little trying to kiss me even harder but he had too much strength and it ended up with us falling to the ground, James on top of me.

“That’s enough, Prongs, it’s my sister” Sirius helped James get up and then gave me a hand.

I don’t remember much from that party after that.

My mind was still fixated on that little moan.

James Potter’s kiss made my legs weak.

It was mind-blowing.

*~*~*

The party was long forgotten when next day James declared his undying love for Lily Evans to the whole school during breakfast. I tried to squish my little crush when I still had the chance to move on.

At the end of our 6th year, I knew I was fucked. I noticed every single little thing about James Potter. I liked the way those little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes when he was laughing. I loved his jokes. I adored how much he cared for his friends and family, how he could do absolutely everything in his power to cheer Remus up after a full moon, how he got out of his way to tell Sirius and me that our family name didn’t define us as people, how he would defend Peter when Sirius was making fun of him.

I was even mad at Lily for not seeing how wonderful he was. I was furious when she was still rejecting him, making fun of him. He didn’t deserve that. He deserved to be loved unconditionally. He deserved someone who would fall madly, truly, deeply in love with him, who would know all his quirks and bad sides and even though still love him for who he was.

James Potter was loud and obnoxious and he did strut a little but he was also devoted to his friends, funny, caring, and good-hearted. And if Lily Evans didn’t see that, it was my personal mission to make James realise that he deserved better.

Sirius and I spent the summer at the Potters. My brother went there for almost every school break but it was maybe my third time there. I didn’t want to leave Reggie alone with our parents but turned out he was more than okay with their way of treating me. That was when I sent an owl to Sirius and he told me to pack my bags and go to the Potters.

We had a lot of fun together. We laughed, we played quidditch, we talked a lot, and I even helped them plan their next prank for the beginning of our last year at Hogwarts. Euphemia Potter was a sweet lady who welcomed me to her house with open arms. I helped her a lot around the house and talked to her about every little thing I couldn’t talk about with my mother. She was great, she made me realise that maybe I had a mother but I never had a mom.

Fleamont Potter was just like James but older. He made a lot of jokes, gave us candy when his wife wasn’t looking, he even asked me if I could marry his son once.

”You see, (Y/N), I believe you would be a great match for my son. I see how he looks at you, how his smile is wider whenever you are near. He talks about his mystery girl a lot but he could never tell us when we would be able to meet the love of his life, as he likes to call her. Now I see why. Sirius is always around and I’m not sure he would be okay with his best friend dating his sister”

”Oh, Mr Potter, I think you have it all wrong. I appreciate the vote of confidence but I am not James’ mystery girl. Her name is Lily and she’s my friend”

”We’ll see about that, (Y/N)”

During one evening Sirius went to bed earlier because he didn’t feel good and that left me and James alone in his backyard, lying on the grass and looking up at the night sky.

”Jamie, your father wants me to marry you”

”What?!”

”Yeah, crazy, right? He thinks I’m your mystery girl”

”Oh, and what did you tell him?”

”That it’s definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that we’ll see”

”I have no idea why he said that I’m very sorry”

”No big deal, Potter”

After a moment of silence, I decided it was time to talk to James about Lily. I was nervous and a little scared that the conversation would ruin our friendship.

”James”

”(Y/N)”

”I’ve been thinking about you and Lily for a while”

”Oh?”

”Yeah” I took a deep breath before continuing,” I think she doesn’t deserve you”

”How so?”

James was quiet for a moment.

”What do you mean?”

”You deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I don’t think Lily is the right girl for you. I’m also not saying you should do whatever I’m telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if it’s even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and it’s her loss if she cannot see that”

”Wow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?” He chuckled making my heart hurt a little bit.

”You’re also an idiot” I slapped his shoulder but laughed with him too. Despite my smile, my heart was breaking a little bit just because the thought of me having a crush on James only made him laugh. ”I’m your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so much”

”You are a good mate, (Y/N). Thank you for always looking out for me” James took my hand in his and interceded our fingers. He softly caressed my hand with his thumb.

”Always”

*~*~*

During our 7th year, everything changed. James Potter suddenly stopped being interested in Lily Evans anymore. And that was a big, juicy gossip at Hogwarts. How could it have happened that James Potter just stopped loving Lily Evans? Could he have another girl? Maybe he had a secret girlfriend?

There was a lot of gossip about his possible girlfriend going around the school. I was just glad that he finally realised that he was worth much more than what Lily was giving him all those years.

That was also when I noticed that he paid a lot more attention to me. He always sat next to me, he wanted to be partners in every class which made Sirius mad, he helped me with my homework, and he walked me to my classes even when it meant that he would be late to his. It was really weird but I wouldn’t dare to hope he suddenly had a crush on me. I wasn’t stupid.

Until that one fateful night in October when I helped the boys with the prank we planned together. A Ravenclaw prefect was patrolling the corridors. He spotted us near the kitchens and shouted something.

”Run!” Shouted Peter. We all started to run but we were a big group so it would be easy to eventually catch us.

”We need to scatter,” said Remus out of breath. Peter immediately turned the corner and turned into a rat. What a team player.

”(Y/N), here” James took my hand and made me run with him in the opposite direction from Remus and Sirius. He found an empty broom closet and quickly closed the doors behind us. There wasn’t a lot of space so we were very close, our noses were practically touching. James put his fingers on my lips so I was quiet. His other hand was still holding mine and squeezing it reassuringly. After a while, when we were sure the Ravenclaw boy wasn’t coming in this direction, James moved his hand to my waist.

He was staring at me very intensely.

”What?” I whispered to him ”Do I have something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that, Potter?”

”Remember what my dad told you? About my mystery girl?”

”Yeah?” I was confused. Why bringing it up now?

”He was right, you know? It never was Evans. I like her, sure, but as a friend”

”What? Then why were you running after her like a lost puppy all those years?”

”Remember when we first met?”

”Of course, I do, James. I hated you.” He chuckled at that.

”I thought you were a stuck-up rich girl but you proved me wrong, (Y/N). I had this big crush on you in our first year”

I looked at him as if he had three heads. What was he talking about? I put my hand on his forehead to check if he wasn’t sick. He rolled his eyes at me.

”I told Sirius about that. He was my best friend so I thought that he would give me some advice. What I didn’t anticipate though was that he would be overprotective of his sister. He screamed at me almost all night, he said that if I ever try to fancy you again he will personally beat the living shit out of me. I get him, you know? You are his precious little sister…”

”He’s only two minutes and three seconds older”

”…and he wants to protect you from all the bad guys out there even if his best friend is one of them. So I tried to never talk about that again. But Sirius knew. In our third year, he came up with a rule which he then proudly told us about. We are friends and friends don’t fancy each other's siblings. If we ever dare to break the rule, that means we were never friends in the first place. I was scared, you know? I didn’t want to lose both of you so I told him later that he has nothing to worry about because I don’t fancy you anymore, that there is another girl I have my eyes on. He asked me who it was and I panicked. Lily Evans was the first one to come to my mind because you two were always together. So as not to lose my best friend I tried to persuade him that I love Lily Evans”

”You were quite good at that”

”Shut up, Black, I’m not finished. Then you mentioned the conversation with my father and told me to look for someone who deserves me. Love, the problem is I never felt good enough for you but your words made me think. If not now then when? Am I supposed to watch you fall in love with some idiot? Am I supposed to stand in the crowd at your wedding even though I want to be the one waiting at the altar for you? Am I supposed to let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers because I’m too scared of what my best friend will say about this? You said a lot of nice things about me that night so let me return the favor. You are incredibly smart and witty, (Y/N) Black. I love it when you get so preoccupied with your book that you’re not really paying attention to the world around you. You bite your lip a lot when you’re focused on the books you like. I adore the way you always come up with a sarcastic comment about everything stupid we say. I like to watch you cheer for me and your brother at quidditch matches. I love the way you care for your friends and family, even when some of them obviously don’t deserve that. You are stunning, (Y/N) Black, in and out and I am madly in love with you”

”Remember that one class last year when we were making amortentia? You asked me what I smelled and I didn’t want to tell you”

”I remember”

”That’s because I smelled you and it scared the living shit out of me”

”You smelled me?” James was surprised but he had a small smile on his face.

”Yes” I looked down because I knew I just blushed like crazy and was a little embarrassed about that ”Later on there was this big party after you guys crushed Slytherins at quidditch and Marlene suggested spin the bottle game”

”I really wished that damn bottle would point at me. I might have used a spell to be sure actually”

”You what?”

”That kiss was totally worth it. I still think about it”

”You used magic to kiss me? You’re a fool, James Potter” I laughed a little but couldn’t help myself and grinned happily. ”You didn’t have to do that”

”And why is that?” James smiled at me and let go of my hand. He cupped my cheek instead and waited patiently for my answer. That little bastard. I stared at his lips for longer than I would like to admit it. But, Merlin, how much I wanted to taste those soft lips again, to hear him moan in my mouth.

”Because,” I said getting closer to him. He still looked me in the eyes, our lips brushed when I said the next part ”I am madly in love with you too, James Potter”

He didn’t wait for another second. He pushed his lips against mine and kissed me hard. I put my arms around his neck trying to bring him closer to me. One of his hands wandered behind my back and under my shirt while the other tangled itself in my hair. I bit his lower lip again hoping that I would get the reaction I wanted.

And I did.

He moaned into my lips and put his tongue in my mouth. I remember that at one point we knocked a broom over but we didn’t care much about that.

I felt happy, over the moon happy. James made me feel all of the emotions at once: excitement, love, happiness. I felt as if I was made just for him and he for me. When our lips met it was like fireworks on New Year’s Eve, as cheesy as it sounds. But James Potter made me into one of those giggly girls who wouldn’t shut up about their boyfriends. And the worst part is, I didn’t mind.

When we finally broke apart to get some air, James was grinning like crazy and still holding me close to him. I wondered if he could feel the way my heart was beating so fast.

In that small broom closet, I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world.

James suddenly became very serious and there was a wrinkle on his forehead as if he was worried about something. He hid his head on my shoulder and hugged me tightly.

”James?”

”Merlin, how am I going to tell that to Padfoot”

”That’s something we should worry about tomorrow”

”Can you kiss it better?”

”You’re not hurt?”

”But I will be tomorrow”

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