peregrin5001

[peregrin5001]

Guy who has heard other guys refer to their wives as "ball and chain" and "battle-axe" and wrongfully assumed you can refer to your wife as any medieval weapon: oh there's my beautiful Lucerne hammer

[peregrin5001]

[peregrin5001]

i had a dream where spotify added dislikes to playlists, and jerma did a stream reviewing playlists with lots of dislikes. the problem was that he plugged his headphones in and didn't realise that none of the viewers could hear the music so it was just him sitting in silence for a few minutes then going "yeah this shit's awful" and then going silent again. he didn't realise until halfway into the stream where he started to say "wait can you guys actually hear it" but then the next song came on and it was so phenomenally bad that he immediately forgot about fixing the audio issue and started complaining

[peregrin5001]

I am not meant for casual. I was born for soul crushing devotion.

[peregrin5001]

[peregrin5001]

[peregrin5001]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[peregrin5001]

ok so there’s a game me and my friends play called “don’t get me started” and basically someone gives another person a random topic and they have to go on an angry rant about it and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to us at parties and car rides so I highly recommend playing sometimes with your friends

[peregrin5001]

Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

Click here to enter

[peregrin5001]

This is legitimately so beautiful

Untitled.

i made a comic in google slides for some ungodly reason

[peregrin5001]

A moon gus

the return of sun!lalo and moon!gus in tarot cards

[peregrin5001]

No cost to grate

[peregrin5001]

Don't Talk to Police.

[peregrin5001]

wormless behavior from some of you. absolute lack of dirt and burrowing. rethink 

[peregrin5001]

[peregrin5001]

the hardest part of making a Discourse Post™ is that i don’t have the time or energy to respond to everyone who disagrees with my viewpoint. and even if i did, my followers would get annoyed with seeing the same post dozens of times with different additions. so just rest assured if you ever disagree with me 1) i already thought of that and 2) i have the best comeback ever

[peregrin5001]

“Fuck my tree is turning into a vampire, good thing I have a stake and a hammer!”

-John Syrup, moments before inventing maple syrup