perfect-marauders

[perfect-marauders]

james: what happens if I press the brakes and the gas at the same time?

sirius: the car takes a screenshot

remus: please shut the fuck up

[perfect-marauders]

james: I feel bad for making fun of people

snape: *raises his eyebrows*

james: except for you. I promise I feel zero remorse for making fun of you

[perfect-marauders]

james: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE?!

sirius: anything, honestly, but nerds especially

james, desperately, as sirius bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

sirius: oh! b positive

james: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE!

sirius:

[perfect-marauders]

police officer: what's your name?

james, whispering to remus: should I tell him my real name?

remus: no!

james: I'm Peter Pettigrew

peter: the ONE time he gets my name right

[perfect-marauders]

james: there's over 6,000 ways to say I love you

lily: aww-

james: but there's only one way to tell you that I accidentally started a fire that made the oven explode and now the house is on fire

[perfect-marauders]

james: I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE ANYTHING

peter: w-what?

lily: James learned to make smoothies today

[perfect-marauders]

mcgonagall: please take your hat off in class

sirius: *takes off a hat revealing a slightly smaller hat*

sirius: I can do this 14 more times

[perfect-marauders]

lily: before you say anything...

james:

lily:

james:

lily: oh, that's it. I just didn't want you to say anything

[perfect-marauders]

lily: there is only one thing worse than bullying

lily: *rips off a paper so it says "bullying Severus"*

james: Severus!

lily: no

[perfect-marauders]

remus: what are you doing?

sirius, poking holes into a pancake: making waffles

remus: how the fuck do you think waffles are made?

[perfect-marauders]

sirius: you son of a bitch!!

james: what?!

sirius: I take it back... I'm the son of a bitch

[perfect-marauders]

james: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*

lily: james, what did you think a tiger shark was?

[perfect-marauders]

mcgonagall: where's mr. Black?

peter: doing stuff

mcgonagall: I don't like the sound of that. Where's mr. Lupin

peter: trying to stop Sirius from doing the stuff

mcgonagall: mr. Potter?

peter: trying to stop Remus from stopping Sirius from doing the stuff

mcgonagall: I see. And what are you doing here, mr. Pettigrew?

peter: I'm supposed to stop you from stopping james from stopping Remus from stopping Sirius from doing the stuff

[perfect-marauders]

sirius: thank you for not telling Remus what happened

james: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this

[perfect-marauders]

james: please promisse you didn't buy me beed again

sirius, from a distance: ..just open it

[perfect-marauders]

sirius: people tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room

remus: that's called arson, and those people are witnesses

[perfect-marauders]

sirius: two negatives is equal a positive

sirius: and Walburga + Orion = me

sirius: so that explains why I'm so amazing