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worthless worthless worthless worthless worthless

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oh god

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uhoh

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fucked it all up again, haven't i

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fjemwkajgnw why am i literally worth less !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i turn in, i turn in, i turn in

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how am i supposed to do this

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if there is anything good in this world it's not in me

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candlelight & aura

i am begging for a reason to stay

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nobody is going to take care of me i think i'd be better off dead i can't do this myself anymore it's so much and holding it in and i can't be this way anymore i can't be this person there isn't anything to make me happy and when i walk out of this room there isn't going to be any loving embrace or recognition of how hard i'm trying bc they don't see it & all they want to believe is i'm being obstinate on purpose and useless on purpose it's going to be say you're sorry and don't do that again well i can't!!!! i can't do fucking anything i guess!!! i'd be better off dead if i had the guts to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's always i don't want to do this &&&&& do you think i do???????????!

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relapse relapse relapse

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i think i tore my hip flexor today and if i have to go through the rehab process again i'm just not going to be able to fucking PROCESS or cope or fucking anything

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guys i rly genuinely can't DOOOO THIS

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what have i gotten myself INTO!!!

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cut my nails. go out on my own. fuck fuck fuck!

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fuck.

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today is hard. i think therapy is helping mostly. i'm exhausted alllll the time. i've gotta talk w her about it. maybe it's time to try u know what

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being disabled is like. sucks LOL