person-without-path

[person-without-path]

So I.. I relapsed and now I'm back at the déficit

[person-without-path]

Dear d.

Living in my house (note how I refer to a house and not a home) is nothing more than a game of pretending, a game in which constantly my biggest task is to pretend that I do not exist, I am not there and I am not alive. Don't be confused, my life was not bad, I always had what I wanted when I wanted it because I simply wanted it.

But what am I supposed to do when I live in fear of being seen? Where do I go to leave my things? where do I hide them? where do I hide? My biggest defect was always my tendency to disorder, perhaps because I found peace by being able to occupy as much space as was available to me, as much space as I could cover before having to isolate myself in my room once again. Maybe it's my fault, I would admit it if it were (it is) if I want to be so messy I can always keep the mess in my room, but tell me, is that piece of paper on the table a mess? my headphones near the TV is a mess worthy of your screams and hatred? Do you really hate my mess so much that you're willing to throw my things out onto the street as punishment for existing in an environment further away from the confines of my room?

why do I miss you? Tell me, why do I get anxious when you're absent? Why does it seem like I don't know how to live without you? Maybe the shouting match wasn't that big (yet) Maybe you didn't try to hit me (again) and then actually never do it Maybe there's still something good here (I want to believe) that I'm not seeing. Maybe I just need to be the same blind girl I've been for 18 years and continue missing you even though you are here, continue looking for you and continue screaming from the bottom of my chest.

In our house our voice was always loud, there is no need to lower it, is there, dad?

[person-without-path]

Depression, anxiety, loneliness and absolutely no self worth what so ever should be my names. Because I'm constantly plagued by them. I don't feel like things will ever improve on that front actually.

I'm tired. In my soul I'm so fucking tired.

[person-without-path]

Sometimes I just don't feel like being here anymore, I just need..I need to sleep

[person-without-path]

Drinking mate so I can fast for a longer time since i wont be hunger anymore, I missed this feeling

[person-without-path]

TENGO HAMBRE, QUIERO COMER QUIERO COMER

[person-without-path]

A friend asked me out, I'm happy because I really liked him but at the same time I'm really anxious, like..I haven't change since the last time we saw eachother, I want to be thinner the next time I see him and be like, see? I'm pretty, we can date now!

God, I'm pathetic.

[person-without-path]

Feminine aura

[person-without-path]

In two months I went down three sizes and now my new clothes are starting to be big for me too, I can't explain the peace that give me

[person-without-path]

RE-BLOG IF….

- You FULLY support recovery and WANT people to recover.

- You think people should AVOID “@na coaches” AT ALL COSTS.

-You are against “f@t-sp0” . (becosue it’s just down right wrong.)

[person-without-path]

My dad told me that I'm an unbearable brat, that I'm going to stay alone because I'm antisocial who only talks when she wants to about topics that interest no one but me and I force others to seem interested when I really only know how to say stupid things...how do I explain that now I can't say nothing without thinking about it?

[person-without-path]

I'm tired. I'm tired to get up at 7 or 8 in the morning and leave a 12 pm to get a bus that is so full of people that I feel like I can't even breathe.

I'm tired to work 54 hours a week to earn a salary that barely reaches 233 dollars if I am optimistic without counting everything they deduct from me for existing, I am tired of standing for 9 hours without being able to sit down because for some reason they decided that it was not allowed for me to have a chair , I'm tired of leaving work at 11pm, with sore legs, not being able to even walk because it hurts so much to get home where I can't sleep because of my foot pain.

I'm so tired of having only one day on the week off in which I end up crying because I have to go back to work... I want to quit, it makes me feel miserable, I'm as miserable as I was at university, I don't know whether to quit or off myself

[person-without-path]

The good thing about having a job is that I have to take lunch alone...that means not having lunch at all, let's see how much can I last without food (probably until Christmas night 🙃

[person-without-path]

An old woman that I really hate told me that I looked prettier, when I told her that I had lost weight she looked very proud of me, she even said that it was better this way and that I should keep doing it, I'm going to start exercising tomorrow so I can be thin faster, hope it works

[person-without-path]

I can't lay face down in the floor anymore, my ribs hurt when I do that and I can feel that they prick me when I do that, it hurt so bad but I feel so validated

[person-without-path]

For real, I could be drinking a whole wine everyday but I feel the need to be careful about it 💀

The only reason I haven't became an alcoholic is that alcohol has way too many calories

[person-without-path]

I haven't been able to keep the fast, I don't know how I'm going to do it, even if I've only been like this for two days I feel like hunger is going to drive me crazy, it's terrible.