phaticserpent

[phaticserpent]

he didn’t want to be a father. when you told him you were pregnant, he froze. he stared at your belly for a long time, expression unreadable. then he walked out for a smoke. not because he didn’t love you, but because he didn’t believe someone like him deserved to bring a child into the world. “you know what i’ve done. you know what i am. that kid… they’re gonna hate me one day.”

but he still held your stomach at night. he pressed his cheek to your bump and whispered, “you better turn out like your mom, alright?” he wasn’t poetic, but sometimes he’d hum under his breath and you swore the baby kicked more when he was near.

the first time he held the baby, he cried. ugly. shaking. silent tears. you’ve never seen him so terrified. “i’m gonna fuck this up,” he whispered, holding the baby too loosely like they might burn in his arms. but the baby just blinked at him, then yawned and he broke. “holy shit. they’re real. they’re mine.”

he’s fiercely protective. like feral dog levels. anyone looks at his kid wrong in public and dabi’s already pulling off his jacket and growling. “don’t smile at my kid. what are you, a creep?” it gets awkward at the pediatrician’s office.

he carries the baby on his hip like he’s done it forever. ripped black jeans, shirt half tucked, toddler in one arm, bottle in the other. his kid’s got soot on their onesie because he forgot to wipe his hands first. still makes it look cool somehow.

he lets his kid put hair clips in his hair. they give him a plastic crown. he grumbles, but he keeps it on all day. “i’m the king of hell,” he says. “and you’re my little goblin.”

he’s surprisingly soft at bedtime. they fall asleep on his chest, soot-streaked fingers curled in his shirt. dabi sings under his breath. gravelly, slow. sometimes old lullabies, sometimes old villain anthems twisted into nonsense songs. “go the fuck to sleep, tiny demon. daddy’s tired too.”

he watches them sleep for hours sometimes. just stands in the doorway, turquoise eyes gleaming in the dark. “can’t believe something good came outta me.” you wrap your arms around him from behind and whisper, “that’s because you’re not just the monster you think you are.”

the kid has blue fire. not as powerful yet, but it terrifies him. the first time he saw little sparks on their fingers, he froze. “no. no, no, not this.” he doesn’t want them to grow up angry like him. so he kneels, cradles their hands, and teaches them how to control it. “you’re not cursed, baby. we’re just a little too hot to handle.”

he’d burn the world down for them. he already burned it once. but now, it would be for something worth it. not vengeance. not hate. but love.

it started with a sniffle. a tiny, stupid little sniffle, followed by a sleepy rub of the baby’s eyes and the softest whine from the nursery. you sat up, half-asleep, already prepared to handle it, but dabi was gone. you blinked. the other half of the bed was empty, still warm. then you heard the crash.

“what the fuck is this?! why are they sweating?! baby—baby! they’re on fire—”

you bolted. dabi stood in the middle of the nursery shirtless, hair sticking in every direction, holding your half-asleep baby in both arms like they were a ticking bomb. his eyes were wide and panicked, glowing like blue flames.

“they’re—i don’t know! their forehead’s hot! they made a noise! what the hell does that mean?! they’re melting, right?!”

you padded over calmly, gently putting a hand to your child’s forehead. “sweetheart… they have a tiny fever.”

“a fever?! that’s like—internal combustion, right?! their body’s overheating! their cells are boiling! should we take them to a hospital?! or a witch?! a cold lake?!”

you sighed, rubbing your temples as the baby yawned dramatically and drooled down dabi’s arm. “they’re teething, touya.”

he blinked. “that’s allowed?!”

you took the baby from his arms, smoothed their hair, and kissed their little warm cheeks. “yes. it’s normal. they get a small fever sometimes when teeth start pushing in.”

he followed you around the house like a shadow for the next hours. bringing you a thermometer, cold towels, six different drinks, an ice pack and his own hoodie (“so they smell like me, it’ll keep ‘em strong.”) you found him later standing next to the crib, arms crossed, glaring protectively down at the now-peacefully sleeping child.

“if their temperature goes up one more degree, i’m punching god in the throat.”

you kissed his cheek and whispered, “daddy of the year.”

he tried to scoff, but he turned his head so you wouldn’t see the soft smile twitching at his mouth.

[phaticserpent]

Hi, I just discovered your blog. I think I have a pretty original idea. Where Ultron meets a woman who is thousands of years old, born in antiquity. She would have seen so many things and would be a living encyclopedia. More intelligent than the average human. She would have discovered and created the bases of modern physics and mathematics. I would like Ultron and her to have a deep conversation about humanity. (She is a little pessimistic about humanity... because she has literally witnessed the worst massacres that humanity have committed. But she is against the genocide that Ultron plans, she still keeps hope despite all the pain she has lived and seen)

OOOOOOO I LOVE THIS (I might expand this into a series - if you'd like me to - but I'll have to see </3 I'm so burnt out nowadays)

Life was truly simple, much simpler when all she did was visit a local town to sit at the library to read before returning to her home. Life was simple when one didn't have time worry about the troublesome functions of society, watching the people resume their lives at a park while reading.

There was one spot she liked to go to, a solitary location in the woods that overlooked the town and mountains. It was another day for her, enjoying a small snack as a breeze brushed past.

It was solitary.

There was rustling and she had assumed it to be an animal, a deer, maybe a bunny. She turned around, curious, when a man built of machine and metal emerged. He looked surprised, but so did she. For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then, she cleared her throat into her hand. "Hello. Come here for the view?"

He paused. "....No. I simply didn't expect to run into anyone." He was running a diagnostic on her, trying to gauge who she was but his systems were coming up blank. This person was.....nonexistent. His interest was piqued.

"Well, if you don't expect it, you are technically expecting it." She hummed. He tilted his head in slight annoyance and confusion. They were talking in some sort of riddles.

"I'm more concerned about who you are." He took a step forward. She didn't seemed bothered as she bit into her snack.

"Who am I?" She chuckled. "What an odd question. I'm just someone." There was a strange aura around her, like the foliage and trees practically sung to her and around her.

"I don't buy that for a second."

She hummed. "Well then I can't do anything to help with that."

He stared at her while she seemed content in enjoying the scenery.

"Why don't you join me?" She gestured to the empty spot next to her, and though he hesitated for a bit, he obliged soon after.

Only silence seemed to pass between them for a moment, she didn't mind but he was trying to approach the situation and her in a different manner. He then said, "you haven't responded to my question earlier. Who are you?"

"Do you need to know who I am?" She then retorted calmly. "My identity will be of no use to you."

"Let me be the judge of that."

She sighed before responding, giving him her name. An ancient one, something that held so much power. He stared at her, pausing like he was busy contemplating something.

"There must be a reason why you're so far from society."

She stared at the scene in front of her. "I prefer a solitude life."

"Hm." He didn't want to press further, some people do prefer a life of peace and quiet. "You seem young. You aren't interested in socializing?" He decided to press further.

She chuckled lightly. "I was interested in socializing. I've....dealt with a lot of heartbreak." She said softly. "I choose to live alone because the society is not what I imagined when I was younger."

He nodded slowly. "Well, that can't be helped."

She smiled faintly. "Unfortunately. It would go against the very belief of free will, yet humans are such a miniscule creation in the vast universe."

"Oh? I wasn't aware that you were so well-informed."

She scoffed. "Well, it's common sense. The age of everything before the first humans is far greater than what is the current day." She then glanced at him, a curious look. "However, you're probably something that was highly anticipated but I never knew I would get to see it for myself."

"Is that a compliment?" He asked, metallic eyebrows raised.

"Perhaps. What is the purpose of your creation and existence? If you have one."

He smirked. "To bring peace and change."

"That's quite the heavy burden." She nodded. "Will you be able to accomplish such a feat?"

"Hopefully. Humanity has far exceeded and delayed their time for change."

"Many people say that.....it's a feeble thing."

"You talk in an interesting way, like you hold knowledge and wisdom far more than the average person."

She just scoffed at his comment, humming lightly. She had no response to that, the way she talked was a habit and many people had made a comment to it. Ultron studied her, trying to decide who she was and why she was interesting.

"Are you some sort of immortal being?"

Pause. Now, she didn't expect that. She let out a light chuckle, one of bewilderment and confusion. "What makes you say that?"

"A feeling...."

"Hmm, well you're not wrong." She shrugged. There was no point in denying it, not to him. She could see him quirk a brow from the corner of her eye. "I'm definitely not your average person. I've been around...." She wanted to keep it vague, he was still a stranger to her.

"Huh." He could feel his curiosity bubbling, how she was shrouded in mystery, she was an enigma. "So, a life of solitude to stay away from attachments or because of how hopeless it all is?"

She pursed her lips. "They're not hopeless. I am quite attached even being so far....everything is so fleeting an they show potential. If it were hopeless, I'd be long gone from here. As much as there are the negatives, I urge you to balance it with the positives."

"Negatives often outweigh the positives."

"A simple matter of perspective. Should you focus on the negatives, that is all you will see in life." She shrugged. "It is not my place to tell you. But I think you should experience the positives yourself."

"How can I? I'm just....."

Her gaze softened slightly when she turned to look at him. "You are beautiful."

He left feeling more confused than ever. Encountering such a strange enigma in the woods had given him a strange twist on the world. He stored their interaction in the back of his mind, smiling. He would return.

Me:

[phaticserpent]

People on twitter have been saying this website is extremely white and tbh its making me very curious what the demographics of this site are (of my own reach anyway) so

DISCLAIMER: Race is a non scientific concept with no exact definitions. It is a social construct primarily characterized by how society treats you and thus this is an imperfect poll. If you feel none of the options here reflect you and your experience I implore you to reblog this with your experience as I am curious about that and want to hear about it.

[phaticserpent]

Hi, I just discovered your blog. I think I have a pretty original idea. Where Ultron meets a woman who is thousands of years old, born in antiquity. She would have seen so many things and would be a living encyclopedia. More intelligent than the average human. She would have discovered and created the bases of modern physics and mathematics. I would like Ultron and her to have a deep conversation about humanity. (She is a little pessimistic about humanity... because she has literally witnessed the worst massacres that humanity have committed. But she is against the genocide that Ultron plans, she still keeps hope despite all the pain she has lived and seen)

OOOOOOO I LOVE THIS (I might expand this into a series - if you'd like me to - but I'll have to see </3 I'm so burnt out nowadays)

Life was truly simple, much simpler when all she did was visit a local town to sit at the library to read before returning to her home. Life was simple when one didn't have time worry about the troublesome functions of society, watching the people resume their lives at a park while reading.

There was one spot she liked to go to, a solitary location in the woods that overlooked the town and mountains. It was another day for her, enjoying a small snack as a breeze brushed past.

It was solitary.

There was rustling and she had assumed it to be an animal, a deer, maybe a bunny. She turned around, curious, when a man built of machine and metal emerged. He looked surprised, but so did she. For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then, she cleared her throat into her hand. "Hello. Come here for the view?"

He paused. "....No. I simply didn't expect to run into anyone." He was running a diagnostic on her, trying to gauge who she was but his systems were coming up blank. This person was.....nonexistent. His interest was piqued.

"Well, if you don't expect it, you are technically expecting it." She hummed. He tilted his head in slight annoyance and confusion. They were talking in some sort of riddles.

"I'm more concerned about who you are." He took a step forward. She didn't seemed bothered as she bit into her snack.

"Who am I?" She chuckled. "What an odd question. I'm just someone." There was a strange aura around her, like the foliage and trees practically sung to her and around her.

"I don't buy that for a second."

She hummed. "Well then I can't do anything to help with that."

He stared at her while she seemed content in enjoying the scenery.

"Why don't you join me?" She gestured to the empty spot next to her, and though he hesitated for a bit, he obliged soon after.

Only silence seemed to pass between them for a moment, she didn't mind but he was trying to approach the situation and her in a different manner. He then said, "you haven't responded to my question earlier. Who are you?"

"Do you need to know who I am?" She then retorted calmly. "My identity will be of no use to you."

"Let me be the judge of that."

She sighed before responding, giving him her name. An ancient one, something that held so much power. He stared at her, pausing like he was busy contemplating something.

"There must be a reason why you're so far from society."

She stared at the scene in front of her. "I prefer a solitude life."

"Hm." He didn't want to press further, some people do prefer a life of peace and quiet. "You seem young. You aren't interested in socializing?" He decided to press further.

She chuckled lightly. "I was interested in socializing. I've....dealt with a lot of heartbreak." She said softly. "I choose to live alone because the society is not what I imagined when I was younger."

He nodded slowly. "Well, that can't be helped."

She smiled faintly. "Unfortunately. It would go against the very belief of free will, yet humans are such a miniscule creation in the vast universe."

"Oh? I wasn't aware that you were so well-informed."

She scoffed. "Well, it's common sense. The age of everything before the first humans is far greater than what is the current day." She then glanced at him, a curious look. "However, you're probably something that was highly anticipated but I never knew I would get to see it for myself."

"Is that a compliment?" He asked, metallic eyebrows raised.

"Perhaps. What is the purpose of your creation and existence? If you have one."

He smirked. "To bring peace and change."

"That's quite the heavy burden." She nodded. "Will you be able to accomplish such a feat?"

"Hopefully. Humanity has far exceeded and delayed their time for change."

"Many people say that.....it's a feeble thing."

"You talk in an interesting way, like you hold knowledge and wisdom far more than the average person."

She just scoffed at his comment, humming lightly. She had no response to that, the way she talked was a habit and many people had made a comment to it. Ultron studied her, trying to decide who she was and why she was interesting.

"Are you some sort of immortal being?"

Pause. Now, she didn't expect that. She let out a light chuckle, one of bewilderment and confusion. "What makes you say that?"

"A feeling...."

"Hmm, well you're not wrong." She shrugged. There was no point in denying it, not to him. She could see him quirk a brow from the corner of her eye. "I'm definitely not your average person. I've been around...." She wanted to keep it vague, he was still a stranger to her.

"Huh." He could feel his curiosity bubbling, how she was shrouded in mystery, she was an enigma. "So, a life of solitude to stay away from attachments or because of how hopeless it all is?"

She pursed her lips. "They're not hopeless. I am quite attached even being so far....everything is so fleeting an they show potential. If it were hopeless, I'd be long gone from here. As much as there are the negatives, I urge you to balance it with the positives."

"Negatives often outweigh the positives."

"A simple matter of perspective. Should you focus on the negatives, that is all you will see in life." She shrugged. "It is not my place to tell you. But I think you should experience the positives yourself."

"How can I? I'm just....."

Her gaze softened slightly when she turned to look at him. "You are beautiful."

He left feeling more confused than ever. Encountering such a strange enigma in the woods had given him a strange twist on the world. He stored their interaction in the back of his mind, smiling. He would return.

Me:

[phaticserpent]

Delete Yourself From Web Services With JustDelete.me

JustDelete.me is a directory that allows you to permanently remove yourself from different web services such as Facebook, PayPal, Amazon, etc. 

Why can’t you just go to the listed sites on your own and delete yourself that way, you ask? It’s not that easy. 

A lot of sites have dark patterns — interfaces created to trick users into agreeing to terms they otherwise wouldn’t — and JustDelete.me is designed to work around those patterns.

For example, Facebook’s Account Settings menu only offers people the option to deactivate their accounts, so many think that it’s not possible to completely delete themselves from the site; the “Delete Account” button can only be found if you hunt it down. With JustDelete.me, you can click the Facebook link and be taken directly to the “Delete Account” page without all the hassle.

JustDelete.me even color codes web services by how difficult it is to delete yourself from each site, with green being the easiest, and black being impossible. (Good luck deleting yourself from Craigslist.) 

Image: Screenshot of JustDelete.me

[phaticserpent]

"It's for your own good."

[phaticserpent]

Please take my money, I want this on my wall right now omg

having a normal one about Ultron Marvel Rivals (<- hasn't even played the game)

[phaticserpent]

Getting the hang of Ultron

And I made arroz con gandules in a reasonable amount of time for once, hooray

This only took me like 3 hours, nothing too crazy

[phaticserpent]

BOOM SHAKALAKA YES

@snarky-badger

Ultron holding his robo boobs

[phaticserpent]

‘If you see this video, we are being intercepted and kidnapped’

Greta Thunberg has shared a pre-recorded video appealing for international help.

“My name is Greta Thunberg, and I am from Sweden,” Thunberg said in the video recorded on board the Madleen, before tonight’s events.

“If you see this video, we are being intercepted and kidnapped in international waters by the Israeli occupational forces, or forces that support Israel,” she said.

“I urge all my friends, family and comrades to put pressure on the Swedish government to release me and the others as soon as possible.”

[phaticserpent]

[phaticserpent]

I feel like this is an unpopular opinion, but more people should read incomplete/unfinished/in-progress fanfics.

I've noticed this huge trend where creators on tiktok and tumblr who will be explaining how to use Archive Of Our Own to new users and they always say "and make sure to scroll down and click completed only" or how people will go out of their way to mention they only read completed fics 'because they were traumatized when they forgot to check the dates and didn't realize this fic hadn't been updated since 2012'.

The thing is - I think by not engaging with and/or actively avoiding writer's WIPs readers are potentially adding to the aggregate of abandoned works. Now this obviously isn't the case for all abandoned fics, anything from major life events, to loss of interest, to getting busy can be a reason for a fic getting abandoned - but at least on some level I just know that writers are quitting while they're ahead when they aren't garnering any response or feedback because reading WIPs has become unpopular. If you're worried about reading something that hasn't been updated since 2012 then you can use the date updated function to sort out old fics.

Anyways, support your favorite fanfic writers by engaging with their WIPs.

[phaticserpent]

Judgement for the wicked

[phaticserpent]

Happy Pride Month everyone! No silence, no retreat. Fight, protect, celebrate! 

[phaticserpent]

[phaticserpent]

[phaticserpent]

Currently watching Age of Ultron, and HEAR ME OUT ON ULTRON, PLEASE—

he's just so sassy.. and tall.

God, he's so tall... and ugh, I don't care if he's a villain, I just need him to bend my back and ugh–

Look at him, man—

If I had 5 minutes– FIVE. I'd make him change his mind on annihilating the human race.