phiiiophobia

[phiiiophobia]

Greetings, mortals.

It is I! ME! THE MERCHANT!

As you could have most certainly gathered by the title, I have opened up a daycare for the younger members of this horrendous mansion, perhaps providing them some form of comfort... or simply to get them off the other specimens' backs.

Ask me about my daycare. Perhaps I will even delight you in... updates. Farewell!

(Unfortunately, I am not the most photogenic when I smile. Please ignore that. Ask me queries or else this... charming... grin will be the last thing you'll see ❤️!!)

[phiiiophobia]

welcome to beef's diner!

come grab a bite! or don't.

[phiiiophobia]

OWWW OUCH RIGHT IN MY NARDS ☹️☹️

Ska-doosh

[phiiiophobia]

this shot still make me cry. who do you think posed them as if they were having a tea party – randy or mrs beard's daughter ? do you think randy told the kid a story about the plushes when he gave it to her – that the crocodile and the giraffe are friends who went on a crazy adventure but now they want to live a calm life together ?

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randy as My R wearing benson's cardigan and all the "girls" he sees are benson post-canon

thank you @celestialwormstuff for this idea................. my glorious king ❤️

[phiiiophobia]

everyday I wish I was randy in that one scene where benson shoves him against the wall for picking up the phone

[phiiiophobia]

i felt too happy so i made this to give myself a reality check and now im going to throw up passion fruit cheesecake

[phiiiophobia]

RANSON FLEABAG AU PLEASE PLEASEE.

Randy is the priest and Benson is fleabag

I'm losing it haha

[phiiiophobia]

You know it's kind of crazy that I can pull near perfect dialogue from most scenes in the passenger out of my brain. I bet if I watched it enough times I would memorize it and gain the ability to watch it in my head at any time...

+ new goal unlocked

what was that?

[phiiiophobia]

let’s keep driving

watched this movie the other day, and yeah—got me fucked up

[phiiiophobia]

benson gets so dysphoric that he's physically sick and heaving over the sink

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inbetween the scenes of benson scolding him and holding him against the wall and the lecture about some decisions being bad decisions randy jerks off because he liked getting choked a little TOOOO much.... 👅👅

furthermore benson lowkey watches him do it through the crack in the door

[phiiiophobia]

[phiiiophobia]

like if you don't like the transfem headcanon don't interact with it????? 😭😭

im noticing some transmisogny in this fandom and i would like to say if you have ANY issues with transfem headcanons or just transfems and transwomen in general kindly get the fuck off my blog and idk self reflect because we adore transwomen here

[phiiiophobia]

thinking about trans benson with barbed wire tattooed across his top surgery scars............

[phiiiophobia]

Rewatched The Passenger today, got inspired🫶

I’m not sure if anyone else has made this before, but it was the first thing that popped into my head during this scene

[phiiiophobia]

HE IS A STUPID DUMB FUCK IDIOT!!!! ❤️❤️

im the anon that sent the asks about Benson stalking Randy and jerking off to him in his car and being a perv and the one about Randy jerking off with Bensons shirt in the bathroom 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Now imagine Benson being the one getting off in the bathroom during close and Randy walks by and hears, listening to the grunts and huffs and sound of every jingle of Bensons belt when his hand moves up and down

"Fuck, Bradley.. Fuck..." Randy hears through the door, his stomach doing a funny little twist and his ears turning red. but he is DESOLATE. slinking away from the bathroom and shuffling away with his head hanging low like a little kicked puppy. Then hes like WAIT. I AM BRADLEY.

🤓-me

randy nervously biting at his nails as he moves his ear closer to the door to hear bensons groans ♥️ and once he hears benson moan bradley he’s all upset because aww i wish it was me.. but then it takes him a second to realize (a) benson was talking about him and (b) he’s a fucking idiot