phiiliterate

[phiiliterate]

standing outside of airport and it is so sweet seeing peoples reactions from the cars when they see who they’re picking up… the way their faces light up… the smiles… little waves…. seeing how the cars match the people and how they match each other. humans are so cute. crying outside of airport.

[phiiliterate]

[phiiliterate]

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

[phiiliterate]

Which one is your favourite? @thoughtstherapy

[phiiliterate]

You just have to get up and get shit done. It’s as simple & as difficult as that

[phiiliterate]

yeah i couldn’t be trusted with a penis id get hard from the way the sun shines through the leaves and everyone would hate me

[phiiliterate]

do it scared do it weird do it alone. holy trinity

[phiiliterate]

the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through. the only way out is through.

[phiiliterate]

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

[phiiliterate]

why is it so hard to miss someone? why is the feeling stirring up in my gut everytime i think of you disgust when there’s nothing more that i want than you here right now ? id give it all to have you back with me, sitting on my floor with your back to me-we don’t even have to talk id just want to know you’re not gone yet. but i’m here, thinking of you, in an empty room where the tip of my nose is cold and if you were here you’d close the windows. my hands shake as i push on the frame and i can feel your warmth when i do what you did. it’s my room, it’s my cold, so why are you here ? why haven’t you left ? why did you leave ?

[phiiliterate]

i feel like a big wet dog

[phiiliterate]

i used to eat my food before i knew it was cool enough to. my parents told me if i scorched the walls of my mouth enough one day it wouldn’t hurt anymore, it would make me strong. your parents blew your food for you, scolded you for trying it with steam still clouding up your vision. i saw the signals as a challenge, believed one day i would’ve proved myself enough for the heat to know not to hurt me anymore. my parents never told me it never stops hurting, you just start liking it. i wish your parents did that too, because then maybe you’d still be here.

[phiiliterate]

september ends and the air chills. it’s unmoving, unforgiving; stale. the leaves fall and my mind breaks. my hands won’t move when i tell them to and my breath fogs against my will. there’s nothing left for me when the sun sets and in the darkness of october i think i’ll fade into the background. the ice that bites at the tip of my nose isn’t enough to keep me here anymore, and i’m starting to forget what that means.

[phiiliterate]

“i feel like i have no purpose” You are not a fixed entity. You do not have one grand, singular, constant purpose. As long as you have genuine intent behind your actions, everything you do serves a purpose. As long as you are truly present, you notice that everything contributes to a greater whole. You do not need to dedicate yourself endlessly to one practice to achieve a purpose; allow yourself to oscillate freely between them all. Experiment. You are not one dimensional: treat yourself as such.

[phiiliterate]

my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with 19th century russian literature character

[phiiliterate]

and when will love stop tasting like betrayal ? like a slow consumption by the parts that make me most sickeningly human. when will the words no longer leave a trail of bile through my conscious. why can’t love be perfect ? why do i have to claw to make my own mouth move around words you’d never say, while you sit and watch me choke, watch the silence hang between us.

and i know i should break it, and in another world i do. and there’s a world where i don’t have to fight the spiders that crawl up my throat each time i think about you. and there’s a world where you get more than just what i deserve. but this isn’t one that let’s go so easily of hurt. of everything i have spent this last silent eternity remembering and what you only cared about enough to forget. in another world i spend these last few moments making you remember what i felt. but in this one, in this one i love you too much for that.

[phiiliterate]

how it feels to be in a transitional period