phoenixisoffline

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fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

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Has anyone spit realer fax

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The 2007 Boston Mooninite Panic

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you gotta have freaks and gross weirdos in your life it’s imperative to understanding the truth of humanity

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twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life

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even if sex scenes did only exist to make you horny (a ridiculous take that only exists in the minds of those bereft of analytical skills when it comes to film) ... even if that WAS true

"horny" is still a real and legitimate human experience to invoke. "this scene is there to make the viewer horny" yeah, and? the scene after is there to make you sad. film is just a bunch of scenes trying manipulate your shriveled up heart into feeling emotions, just embrace it

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if you’re someone who has to wear glasses every day that makes them basically the most important item you own which means you really gotta show those fuckers who’s boss just toss them everywhere and knock them off things and roll over them in bed at least twice a week

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Literally me when i listen to rock music

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do you think that a certain genre of queer person is so obsessively weird about pride flag discourse becuase their flags fill the gaping hole in their personality where a hogwarts house used to be

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thE FUCKING TEXT IS STILL SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME IM GONNA FUCKIGN PSIS MYSELF

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my personal argument for open borders is really simple it just boils down to "i believe restricting human movement and barring certain people from certain places on this earth is a human rights violation"

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genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital

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In hindsight it's very insulting to be told that flunking out of college due to adhd is actually "quite common"