pickledbraains

[pickledbraains]

Sleeping Beauty sculpture in the Berlin National Gallery

[pickledbraains]

Przewalski's horse

[pickledbraains]

i love finding poetry in the mundane, and yesterday i stumbled upon something that just hits that spot

So, my partner has an old phone- It served them for many years now, but it has one issue: Charging it is hard. Their current charger is hanging on by a thread (literally), and can barely do its job. The phone and the charger came together: They've never used another charger for said phone.

Now, they've tried to replace the charging cord several times. But it doesn't matter how much they've searched what damned specific charger the phone uses, none of them work. They finally decided to bring it to a phone shop and ask what should they use.

The guy at the shop looked at the phone for a bit, and explained: "The port itself is broken. The charger you have works with this phone because they've mutually broken each other into the same shape, in a way that no other charger is shaped. The port itself has corroded in a way that only accepts the charger that shaped it like that in the first place."

And while this is of course a frustrating situation for my partner, I feel like there's a metaphor here. I could write a goddamn story about this. These two half-broken old things have been together for so long they've destroyed each other in a way that keeps them from working with anything else. They've hurt each other in a way that barely keeps them functioning together, and have been rendered useless with literally anything else.

This too is toxic yuri to me-

[pickledbraains]

November 22nd 2024

i remember nothing of us. most of the past year is a blur, all of the feelings i felt towards you, all of the memories we shared, there's nothing now but lost time.

its for the best really. for you to disappear, you've become nothing but a regret. a cautionary tale of what happens when you ignore the signs because he treats you nice. to ignore how your best friend and him look and act around eachother. the subtle hints that they both gave you. that you, yourself, knew that they looked better together than you and him did. thats all i remember about our relationship. feeling like an after thought. feeling replaceable. feeling the need to adjust myself to be more your type, because my best friend WAS your type.

songs on repeat

hey, princess -allstar weekend

i was born (a unicorn) -the unicorns

vanilla twilight -owl city

[pickledbraains]

a comic about cuddles

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thinking about edvard munch's "The Sun" (1911)

like yeah thats how it feels. thats what it feels like to exist sometimes. he gets it

[pickledbraains]

October 3rd, 2024

✨

as of today i am four days on prozac. i have noticed a slight difference in my overall behavior and attitude towards things.

i feel less likely to lash out when i have a strong emotion, i still feel them, obviously, but its less intense and much more manageable. like i dont feel like i have to explode, i can just have a feeling, its nice to be honest.

✨

i have noticed that not thinking about who specifically is fronting at any given moment helps alot. sometimes im still aware of whos up there doin things, but its not something i go out of my way to focus on or think about anymore. i mean, im not SUPPOSED to KNOW about it in the first place so it kinda makes sense.

✨

current songs on repeat:

never the muse

partner in crime

(both by Madilyn Mei)

[pickledbraains]

[pickledbraains]

You still have time to change!

(Words sewn into a leaf)