pine-flames

[pine-flames]

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

[pine-flames]

at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

[pine-flames]

oftentimes when you look back on media you enjoyed as a child it's like hello why did they let a 14 year old fight a dragon? but star wars holds up. luke is 19. his reaction to losing his whole family is to say "alright, let's do this. I'm gonna learn to meditate and hire a sexy drug dealer and his friend who's a furry to be my uber across the galaxy so I can blow up a fascist government" that's something only a 19 y/o would do

[pine-flames]

being perceived as a woman sucks until it's by a woman in her 60s telling me I'm a "good girl", then suddenly i am 100% a good girl. But to you only. Thank you for bagging my groceries, can I kiss you???

[pine-flames]

I've been so X-men brainrotted that someone reblogged Star Trek fanart and I went "Why is Xavier doin' that???"

[pine-flames]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[pine-flames]

yeah I've been getting really into metalworking these days

[pine-flames]

people don’t spray paint “bad wolf” in cryptic areas like they used to

[pine-flames]

[pine-flames]

Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

[pine-flames]

me when we start eating billionaires and i have to kill gomez addams

[pine-flames]

[pine-flames]

Venom would make me worse i think... </3

[pine-flames]

Wild luck that the last character I downloaded was reference images of Magneto... I'd chat with him over coffee or something. I'd have no reason to be on his shit-list, we could have a great convo over some bean juice in a nice café.

(Don't ruin this fantasy for me)

[pine-flames]

again that rat man thing wheres the fucking post

[pine-flames]

i think the courier may have gotten the wrong room number

[pine-flames]

Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot