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Went to Catholic school my whole life and when I was 14 I had to do confirmation classes and since I went to school in a different diocese all the other kids had already done their confirmation and shit and it was weird as hell. I had to commute an hour home and then go to the basement of a church where I argued with the teacher all the time because he didn't actually understand philosophy, basically a protestant, very tragic.

Anyway part of the confirmation class was that I had to go to confession and so I went and I confessed all my sins or whatever but the next day my school also decided we needed to go to confession. So I'm waiting in the line for fuckin ever and then I get to the little confessional and I'm like "forgive me father for I've sinned it's been one day since my last confession" and the priest goes "huh?" And I explained the whole situation to him.

He asks where the hell I live and I tell him and he tells me he actually used to be a parish priest at one of the churches in town, and then he's asking me about priests he used to know and we get to talking about sandwich shops and restaurants and parks and it goes on for 10 minutes or so before we realize there's a whole line behind me so he tells me I don't gotta do anything and I leave.

The kid behind me in line grabs me as I walk past and goes "Dude what the fuck did you do?" And I almost told him what happened but I decided it would be funnier if I didn't so I was like "a lot lol" and he was like "do you gotta do like 10 hail Mary's now or something?" And I said "no it turns out if it's bad enough he just tells you you're going to hell, no contrition no nothing" and this kid was like Uber Christian and I think he felt bad for me forever because afterwards he was way nicer to me

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it's insane how normalized 3d printing is i don't think people born post 2005 can comprehend how fantastical "appearing things with machines" was as an idea. kind of like cryogenics or VR indistinguishable from being somewhere. like i remember learning about 3d printing about 10 years ago and feeling like it was a little bit sci fi teletransportation magic like it was truly a mind=blown technological moment and now it's just like. do you want to buy this figurine of dawyne the rock johnson as pikachu on etsy

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they spoke about retired Madame Tussauds wax models on last weeks The Rest Is Entertainment pod. they store them in a warehouse. if they're really flopping publicly as a celeb (relevance wise) then theyll keep just the head (hardest part to make) and melt down the body

they kill them…

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My friend said she’s letting her weed jar sit out under the virgo full moon tonight so it can soak up its energy and that tomorrow we’ll smoke a joint of it together. I love mentally ill women…

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I just heard the phrase, “If you wouldn’t trust their advice, don’t trust their criticism” for the first time and I don’t think I’ve ever needed to hear anything more

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dan favouriting Obamas tweet doesnt mean that he is gay it means he supports gay marriage

don’t make everything about phan

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fritolay sucks

eat it anyways stupid pig

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A Minnesota teenager filed a charge of discrimination against a Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant Tuesday, alleging a server followed her into the women’s restroom and demanded she “prove” she was a girl.

Gerika Mudra, 18, went to dinner in April with a friend in Owatonna, about an hour south of Minneapolis. When she went to the restroom, a server followed her inside and banged on the stall door while saying: “This is a women’s restroom. The man needs to get out of here,” according to Gender Justice, a Minnesota gender-equality organization that filed the charge on Mudra’s behalf.

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abnormal physical desire: i just need to grab a pair of hips and fuck away

normal physical desire: i am a rabbit that needs to be poisoned

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always blows my mind how many european countries still have monarchs. what do you mean you have a king. kill that guy

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don't say "2010's music" and then play something from 2017-2019. that's not 2010's music to me. they're sonically so different from 2010-2016 to me

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when you're halfway to work and realize you forgot to charge your spider

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Man I wish it would rain

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