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I have those Mentos things that get chewy for a second. But that's the best I can do for you.

Anyone have any gum?

For some reason, I could chew some right about now.

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I was pretty much the same. Every Saturday or whenever they would have marathons and I would get nothing done. Except for sitting in front of the television all day. Call that a productive day.

My God. I used to sit at home and eat ice cream while watching those.

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Does anyone else miss those Lifetime movies? Y'know, the ones based on "true stories" and would make you double check that you locked your door? Because I do. 

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I think it's an alright name too. Was it "Charmed"? I watched that show on occasion - I liked Piper the best because we shared a name. 

Piper… I like that name. I used to watch a TV show and my favorite character was named that. 

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I would have never guessed, Tatts. No offense. Sooooo, a party store? And maybe Home Depot? I don't know, I hear people get tubes and things at the Depot. I've never shopped there, I wouldn't know, but I imagine they've got a selection of tubes for like, home stuff.

I do. Highschool senior year was a good year for me. We need a tube of some sort and confetti along with a source of pressure. 

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Loving the way you think. And everyone should think like it.

I don't think you did - ya know, too busy talking about languages. I'm Piper. It's good to meet you.

We could teach this class together. It’d be perfect. Our sass and knowledge would be just what everyone needs in a class.

I’m Savannah, by the way. I can’t remember if I introduced myself already or not.

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Oh, wow, sounds cool. I gotta say, though, I don't have any experience in making said cannon, but I guess I could use some under my belt. What kind of things do you need? 

  Great. Then you’re going to help me make a confetti canon. I bet people will get a kick out of that. I just need confetti and a few things from the hardware store. 

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Things? Things sounds cool. Sure, I'll be your partner in crime. It could be fun.

You’re welcome, Piper. Hey, now that you’re back, you can help me do…things. Want to be my partner in crime? 

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Oh, wow. I'm so touched. This is, I don't know what to say. I would give a speech, but wow I wouldn't know where to start. I'd probably thank that deer clan I found. They were such a help. But seriously, thanks.

Since it was, like, your first time and all, I think you deserve something. So I pronounce you a more fabulous version of Bear Grylls.

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And why flip through about a billion pages through an English-French dictionary looking for a good way to say "Can I have some fries, man?" when your stomach is already saying that. You shouldn't have to ask twice. It's universal. Finally somebody who understands. Such a rarity. A class needs to be taught. Immediately.

Exactly. Like, why would I need to speak French? If I’m in Paris and my stomach is grumbling, I’m not going to speak to it in the language of the country. I’m simply going to eat something. We should really teach this language of stomach. People need to learn it. And we seem so fluent in it.

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Y'know, I was so hoping you'd say that. I was pretty proud of myself. I mean, most of the time I thought I'd be eaten, but I wasn't, so it's good. I feel a sense of accomplishment that only comes with pretending you're some survival expert and actually making it in the woods by yourself.

Not bad, Piper. If you asked me, I’d say you’re survivor of the year. Mostly because you were gone, but you came back in one piece.

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Well, if it shuts up when I eat some rabbit then we both know your prediction was spot on and I owe someone an apology for rolling my eyes at the thought of a discussion about architecture. Y'know, it's not one of those required languages, that's why. I think it should have been, though. People use it a lot more than those other languages. I mean, who needs Spanish when you've got stomach. In foreign counties all I'd need to know is when to eat.

It could be doing the first, though I’m sure the second’s a bit more believable. But hey, stomach wasn’t a foreign language I took while in college, so I could be wrong too.

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No, now I'm sure that it's trying to explain to me the architectural genius that is those tiny hotel rooms they put in train stations. 

Or maybe it's telling me to get food. I don't know, I don't speak stomach.

Maybe it’s trying to tell you to get food.

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