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so i'm rereading heart of Thomas to try and finish it.

when people announce thomas' death, they refer to him as just "the cute little fraulein from the grade below" which feels ... cruel, almost.

a kid just killed himself, a 13 year old boy nonetheless, and the only way they can remember him is by saying he's beautiful. nothing about his achievements, hell they could've just said "the kid from the grade below" and it would've been fine, but the extra detail of thomas being exclusively referred to as the "cute kid" adds onto that subtle dehumanization he went through so MUCH, which makes me think of how and why he hid everything from everyone:

- no one cared. we know he didn't have friends besides ante, and ante is a little demon (i love him but goshhhh ...)

- he had an image to keep up, which is for sure cliche, but he felt like he had to fulfill these people's fantasies of him in order to be liked by people that weren't his family (because "a family's love is unconditional", they'd love him no matter what, people wouldn't. it feels like a "truer" way of showing love, y'know?) (similar to gilbert, but in a much more subtle way. because unlike gilbert he buried those feelings deep inside and no one knew what was up. meanwhile with gilbert they all knew he was ill, they all knew he was willing and able to hurt himself, but they didn't care. so he fulfilled their fantasy in the other possible way, by sexualizing himself)

not to mention holy shit just two pages after this one kid goes: "crocodile tears, if you ask me. now ante's rival is out of the way" ...? that's so inappropriate! but it adds just another layer of hurt to this because they really do not care about thomas. at all. they never did.

man fuck schlotterbag or whatever the name of that fuckass school is

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Am I the only one who wanted to know more about Siegfriet?

He is literally the villain and the main reason for almost all of Juli's traumas and we barely knew his name.

I find him an extremely fascinating character and I really wanted to know more about him.

What led you to stop believing in God? What did you want to try? Why Julusmole? Was I already investigating and hunting for it or was it just a coincidence? Why did he do it in such a violent way? How did he let Julusmole go after the attack he made on him? What happened to him?

And the fact that he never got what he deserved!!! He should go to minimum prison.

I also can't stop thinking about the traumatic fact that he didn't have to do anything he did to be adored. 💀

All I had to do was make Julusmole fall in love, deeply, and that's it! Juli would have loved him without a doubt. Because of her own insecurities, she needed someone to say a simple "I like your dark hair" to make him fall in love.

If he wanted Julusmole to worship and praise him like a God, he would have done it without the need for violence!!! Because he was desperate for someone who would love him just the way he was! 😭

If he wanted to prove his point, he could have killed him more slowly. This also proves that he is an idiot who doesn't even know how to manipulate.

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A short Takemiya Keiko interview from 1998

My "All Things Takemiya" detective friend, Platypus, provided me with a two-page Takemiya Keiko interview scanned by @97tears from the now discontinued Hato yo! (鳩よ! - Oh, Pigeons!) magazine. It was a literary magazine published between 1983 and 2002—a publication you probably wouldn't look at if you were searching up on Takemiya, ig.

You can see the Japanese original taken from the 1998 April issue of the magazine, and my (poor) translation of it under the cut.

Takemiya Keiko Interview from issue #4 of Hato yo (1998) 

An interview with a master mangaka herself! 

I’ve always wanted to meet them! 1 – Takemiya Keiko 

“I wanted to draw real love” 

Takemiya Keiko. Born in Tokushima in 1950. Debuted with “Ringo no Tsumi” in 1968. Won the 25th Shogakukan Manga Award with “Kaze to Ki no Uta” and “Terra e.” Representative works include “Pharaoh no Haka” among others. “Tenma no Ketsuzoku” is currently being serialized in Asuka Magazine.  

I read “Kaze to Ki no Uta” during elementary school. It has left a very deep impression on me. I remember that when Ms. Takemiya is mentioned. It was like I was looking at something I was not supposed to look, and I still remember the thrill I felt.  Takemiya: Oh, is that so? (laughs) 

Thank you so much for being with me today.   Takemiya: And thank you for having me. 

Shall we start with what prompted you to become a shoujo manga artist?  Takemiya: Fundamentally, I was not suited for shoujo manga. I debuted in COM, and my dream was to draw manga that was neither shounen nor shoujo. But alas, the magazine in which I could draw my ideal manga was no more. My style didn’t have much “power” in it, so I inevitably had to choose a shoujo manga magazine. I think my art style was really uncommon at the time. But it was what it was, and I thought to myself, maybe capitalizing on that was the path I should take.  

Your works have an extraordinary depth as far shoujo manga goes... They have a unique art style...  Takemiya: It hasn’t always been like that. My shoujo manga technique was the fruit of what I have studied. It was not a result of my personal taste, nor my innate skills. Girls like that feathery, light touch. They like fine lines. But I didn’t have any of those. So, I figured drawing things girls would like a lot was my only choice. For instance, when I thought how they must like Europe at the end of the 19th century, I went on a trip as a result. I saw the real thing at its source, and did research on it.  

Then was Kaze to Ki no Uta born because you thought girls would like it?  Takemiya: That might have played into my choice of the time period the story’s set in. However, romance stories between a boy and a girl was the norm in shoujo manga at the time. You could only draw “And they lived happily ever after...” stories. And that happiness was only on the emotional level. It was normal to exclude all physical contact. But that is simply “affection.” I wanted to draw “real love.” I admit it was a little too sensational, but I thought doing it through same-sex love was the best way to go about it. That’s how I drew Kaze to Ki no Uta.  

The sex scenes between men were quite a shock for me as a little child. That’s how I learned homosexuality existed.   Takemiya: At the time, there was an official notice published by the Ministry of Education that stipulated that “You shall not draw a boy and a girl getting intimate!” However, if it was two boys, things were somehow fine... I thought I’d found a loophole! (laughs) 

These days, there are more extreme books labeled as “yaoi.” What do you think about them?  Takemiya: At the end of the day, doujinshi are doujinshi. They focus on personal enjoyment of a group. I consider myself a “craftsman,” and if I look at it from a craftsman's standpoint, I am not wholly satisfied with how they leave many things unexplained, or how they have no conclusion. At their level, I’d liked if those artists too felt more dissatisfied... If they aimed to be more conclusive. They have the talent to draw, so I’d love them to polish those skills. I’m sometimes told that it all started with “Kazeki,” and that I must take responsibility. And every time, I think to myself, “Oh... Re-really? Dit it?” (laughs) I wish someone drew something so awesome that it would blow Kazeki out of the water... 

I’d love that too! You called yourself a “craftsman,” but what exactly makes you think so?  Takemiya: I really love the word “craftsman.” I’m not interested in trying to reach an ideal of art that would not resonate with the public. I believe manga is something aimed at the general public. Otherwise, I would not consider it to have artistic value.  

Spoken like a real pro... Which brings me to Terra e... I think that’s the most widely-accepted manga of yours by the general public, and it was published in a shounen magazine. Why is it the outlier to be published in a shounen magazine?  Takemiya: I received an offer for it, but the truth is, I had always wanted to draw for a shounen magazine. That’s why accepted. But I needed to draw in the shoujo manga audience too, so I wanted the story to offer the best for both demographics. So I tried to have the concept to be that of shoujo manga, and the style to be that of shounen manga as much as possible.    

Is it different to draw for a shounen manga magazine, and a shoujo manga magazine?  Takemiya: You don’t have to hold back in shounen magazines. It fine to draw more hardcore stuff. But in shoujo magazines, that’s out of the question. There’s a trend that dictate that you should explain things in long-winded ways and spoil the reader, because girls like it when you reveal things to them through subterfuge, so don’t hit them directly with hard stuff. 

But after that, you’ve never drawn for shounen magazines which allowed you to draw as you wished.  Takemiya: Shounen magazines are mostly weekly. I cannot keep up with that. My art has fine details, so it takes me a lot of time to draw.  

Then will you be solely drawing for shoujo magazines in the future?  Takemiya: I can’t really say that I will. I’m currently working for a shoujo magazine with “Tenma no Ketsuzoku”, and with volume releases. I recently released an illustration book titled “Hermès no Michi.” I needed to base myself on documents and explain them in drawings. And they couldn’t be any kind of drawing, they needed to be interesting. Trying to come up with ways to do that was a very fun experience. So for starters, I’d like to undertake a work like that again. That kind of work I’m working on right now is a story about the fugitives of the Heike Clan in Tokushima.* 

*T/N: She is referring to “Heian Joururi Monogatari.”  

To finish our interview off, I’d like ask a question about the Year 24 Group (shoujo manga artists born around the 24th year of the Shouwa Era like Takemiya Keiko, Hagio Moto, and Ooshima Yumiko, who have influenced the shoujo manga world in the following years) which is still very prominent: Are you still conscious of it?  Takemiya: Year 24 is a thing of the past in the modern manga scene. I think it’s irrelevant now. Manga is evolving, becoming something else after being painted over continuously. I had fun when I was part of that group, but I don’t feel like dragging it out. I don’t want to cling to nice memories of the past as I work, and want to focus on how I currently think and feel. I want to do what I think is most fun at the moment.  

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内田善美 (Uchida Yoshimi) 1979 calendar.

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heart of thomas has a much more tragic feel to it when you don't really think of thomas as this ethereal wise beyond his years "sacrifice" for juli's soul and instead realize he's just a kid with mental health issues that got failed by everyone around him, had no real friends (ante didn't even like him), and tried to reframe his own suicide around someone he loved but never got to form a meaningful connection with

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Прочитала свои посты двухлетней давности, и лучше я бы этого не делала. Не то, что это совсем отборный кринж. Просто когда я, так скажем, взгянула на себя со стороны таким образом, мне стало дико напряженно.

Читая все это, я увидела человека с огроменным душевным грузом, словно мифический сизиф, толкающий камень на гору снова и снова, пока он не скатится обратно вниз.

С этим хаосом и кошмаром в голове я жила многие годы, и это печально. Тогда мне хотелось выплеснуть весь свой негатив в блог, а получилось так, что я его множила в самой себе, вероятно, пытаясь кому-то что-то доказать.

Нет, я не перестала полностью тревожиться, и до сих пор вопрос самоидентификации стоит для меня остро. Однако благодаря хорошему психологу и некоторой деятельности я наконец-то узнала за столько лет, что такое вкус радости и некой душевной стабильности, как нищий вкус говядины.

Как я тогда жила, не представляю. Сейчас, когда будущее страны выглядит трагично и риск попасть кое куда гораздо выше, чем в прошлые годы - кажется, я делаю для себя больше, чем когда либо. Дамоклов меч все еще висит надо мной, и все же я чувствую себя куда более уверенной как минимум потому, чтобы писать этот пост экспромтом, не обдумывая ничего.

Нет, меня не перестали волновать те вопросы, которыми я задавалась - просто стала воспринимать больше как занятное раздумье, чем что-то жизненно важное. Я пыталась копнуть максимально глубоко то, что еще не разгаданно, примкнуть и обрести наконец долгожданный покой там, где мне кажется нет места. Боль теперь не такая сильная, какая была раньше. Это успех, я считаю.

Много еще над чем стоит поработать, поразмыслить, остается только надеяться, что свет в конце, наконец, покажется в густом тумане.

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more tidbits (august 10th, 2001)

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Do you’ll believe he’ll come to your salvation no matter how dire the circumstances?

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a few bits from a heart of thomas fanbook created by Alien Tea Party / Room (1999)

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АААААААААААА, Я ДОЖДАЛАСЬ ЭТОГО *-*

Carl from Kazeki and Juli from Heart of Thomas would RAPIDLY devolve into becoming that Jesus chick from Ghost Stories if they encountered each other. I'm right. You know I'm right.

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Man, I hope Carl at least becomes a little bit more comfortable with himself. Jesus would not want you to have internalised homophobia, king.

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I apparently have a soft spot for Carl.

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Moto Hagio

It would be really awesome if someone could tell me where any of these are from!

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Paul Eduard Ritter

Midnattsol i Polarhavet

Fra Sognefjorden

Fra Nordfjord

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"Marginal" by Hagio Moto really is something unique as a manga. I've never read anything else that comes close as being both very high concept sci-fi and as 80s shojo as shojo gets. It's genetics and post-apocalyptic Earth with pages of dramatic dream-like sequences full of flourishes and emotion.

*AND* it's a love triangle yaoi romance set in a pseudo-Arabic desert culture where the all-male society has an Ancient Greek-esque relationship system where manly adult seme take pale-skinned young ukes as their partners until they come of age.

It's problematic as hell and I love it! I or anyone else could write thousands of words on this manga, there are so many angles. I am not even getting into the half of it because it's spoilers.

This is going to get me back on my Patroclus/Achilles bullshit lol I need to make more fujo friends srsly because I miss gushing about this stuff with friends who Get It. This isn't even Hagio Moto's most famous manga! "They Were Eleven" is apparently getting an English release from Denpa in 2022.

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Thoughts on Lil’ Leo

Moto Hagio, 2009, Flowers (Josei)

Leo is a naive two years old cat with a sweet tooth, who lives with his owner and her other cats. Able to talk and to perform many asks like a human, he tries to integrate human society (going to school, finding a job, even going to marriage interviews…) often with food as a main motivation. But his natural cat behaviour and clumsiness often get in his way!

Читать дальше

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Hagio Moto's Onshitsu (1975)

As the crappiest translator of all times, even I want to do something to bring 1970s manga to a wider audience. I'm too scared to get into those long-ass shoujo epics, I'm not sure if I can last through not so long-ass shoujo manga, and some manga simply terrify me because I'm afraid I can't translate them with my language skills and lack of culture. For the time being, I tried my hand at translating this Hagio Moto one shot from 1975, and my lovely group, Decadence Scans, helped me get this out into the world <3 Click here or here to read it. I'd like to thank Kanedian, Roze and Attolia again for indulging me and working on this story. But I still need to gush over this manga a little bit more.

Hug the otouto. This is so beautiful that I can look at these panels for hours.

I've liked Hagio Moto ever since I read Zankoku na Kami ga Shihai Suru, and been meaning to read more of her. The problem is, I'm very lazy and have read so little so far. I'm basic and as I was looking through MU to choose a Hagio title to read, and Onshitsu piqued my interest. Because it checks two boxes: It's by Hagio, and it's BL. I've always read about the bishounen culture of the 70s, but I know so little about the actual BL works from that period. I checked Hagio-sensei's fan site, and this site in English that is full of old shoujo we'll never see, and bought the relevant one shot collection. (By the way, buying JP e-books is easy. Do it even if you don't speak Japanese and support the mangaka. How can you say you love them if you don't even buy their books?)

Onshitsu is basically about MC's cute step-otouto getting mindfucked by some weird-ass rose-spirit-thing. Onshitsu hits all those sweet 70s shoujo spots: European setting, blond bishounen, /fa/ bishounen, onii-san, bishounen tears, innocent kisses, creating drama while things could be solved through communication just so they can do dramatic poses, gratiutious references to Greek mythology, rich people, smart people, mystery,suffering, a shit ton of roses and other floral arrangements, bad ends, emotional conclusions... Couple that with Hagio-sensei's magnificent page layouts, and you get a very enjoyable read. This is not the best manga or anything, but I think it reflects pretty well the tastes of that time period. I mean, this is the kind of stuff I wanted to read to understand how BL tones became a thing in shoujo manga during the 1970s.

Later, I got Alois, the one shot compilation it was first published in too! I can't wait to read it. Here's the first page of Onshitsu with the dustjacket of the volume.

I can talk about every panel in this manga, but allow me talk about a couple panels/pages I really, really liked:

I had to stop and say "WOW!" on this page when I first read this manga. The way she drew Lange and the spirit's hair and bodies all entwined like that is very aesthetic and sensual. You can feel the intimacy, but no vulgarity. I particularly like those very thicc lines on the middle left part of the page. I feel so doki doki when I can see how the artist must have drawn something through the lines.

I think it's about José's straight, long hair and the way he holds Lange's head, but the kiss above is very cute. And the flare pants.

I like the despair-ridden José here very much. And these lines sound 2000% better in Japanese than I could do them justice. Seriously, I hope I didn't screw this up too much while translating, but no one ever touches this stuff. I felt like I had to do something.

My pilgrimage to the 1970s for more BL-flavored shoujo will be long and arduous, but I will continue. I hope this little contribution makes someone happy.