posts-fromtheoceanfloor

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

Day before vs yesterday.. I knew that I wouldn't be able to burn as much since Sundays are always hectic yet I am still disappointed 😔 the rest of the week will be different though. My king will have to work stupid hours because his company takes advantage of him and they know he can't do anything about it. So, while he's working for money, I can work on my body. Not only for me, but for him. He deserves everything good in life. I also don't have to eat as much as I do on the weekdays since he won't be there for supper. I'll come out of this better.

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧.

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

Tried to fix my mental issues, didn’t work. I want to starve again

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

the whole reason i relapsed was literally because i forgot how good it feels

the feeling of being hungry but not craving any food is just so amazing it makes me feel so skinny

feeling lightheaded is such a good feeling

knowing i’ve made it through the whole day without eating just makes me feel so proud and accomplished

and when i look in the mirror and see my stomach looks a bit flatter or my thighs look a little thinner it’s just so good

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

My love will be closing at his job today through Sunday. He usually does fri-sun. But he has to today as well. I've been eating like garbage and gained so much so this means I can fast starting today. I'll weigh when I get home from work then won't weigh again til Monday when I get off. I HAVE to stay consistent this time.. he was literally playing with my double chin yesterday 😭

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

bring me back to when i ran a mile and weight lifted everyday and ate 600 cals max.

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

Reminder to myself: you are noticeably heavier, stop stuffing your fat face.

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

i just wanna go back to being the girl that never eats

I miss her

So much

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

i wanna puke my organs out

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

He now grabs my fat where he used to grab my bones.. just cut it off already 😭 I swear on everything I will lose all this that I gained in "recovery". If I wasn't motivated enough before I definitely am now.

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

I escape to the bathroom pretty often at work so I've started doing small exercises while in there. My work is fast pace anyways, but in the bathroom I've started doing squat leg raises, squats, then arm raises. It's not much but it's quick and moves my body even more. Plus it warms me up when I'm freezing

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

My intake was 586cal yesterday, so I'm rounding up to 600. I burned 903, I know it was more but can't wear my watch at work so that's what I'm going with. I'm really fighting with myself if I should continue eating what I've been eating for supper or have what everybody else is having. They're eating hot dogs and mac. And if I eat mine it'll be 0 carb tortillas with honey almond butter, an apple, banana, grapes, mandarin oranges, zero sugar peaches. My supper would be less calories but I haven't had meat or cheese in days and my body is feeling the lack of nutrients.. I can feel the panic setting in already. I might just do my supper so the "bananas don't go bad"..

[posts-fromtheoceanfloor]

I ended up eating yesterday since my iron and blood sugar were low. My total intake was 650 so I'm estimated 700. I burned at least 680. I know I burned more but I'm not allowed to wear my watch at work so I have to wait til I'm home to wear it. So, I just use what it says at the end of the night. Tonight I'm gonna try to eat less. Hopefully, I've lost even more weight. I have to wait til I get off work to weigh in.