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Hawaii Five-0/Magnum P.I. - Hawaiian Life Lessons From The Casts Of Hawaii Five-0 And Magnum P.I.

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Steve & Danny

7.23

P2   P1   P3

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we all know that scene at the end of 2x14, but rewatching the episode again put some things into perspective, specifically why this line

prompts such a look of awe, unbridled admiration and love on steve's face. he is a breath of fresh air in a stale suffocating day steve's had, because danny is different. he isn't like anyone he's ever met.

the entire episode has a theme of absent fathers running through it. it starts with the flashback of john mcgarrett telling steve he's sending him and his sister away, breaking their family apart. steve tells joe he remembers it 'like it was yesterday', which means he keeps reliving this traumatic event over and over. it was bad enough to lose his mother when he was 16, to also have his father completely check out on him, not only sending him away but telling him they won't even talk to each other for a while. that's abandonment. john chose his quest for revenge over his family.

then steve is reminded of this when he is confronted with adam noshimuri, whose father faked his death without telling him and when he found out, was told in no uncertain terms to act like his father is dead to him. in a similar way steve's father was essentially dead to him years before he actually died.

even joe, who was like a father to steve, makes it clear to him that if steve doesn't follow his lead they won't be in each other's lives, he loves steve but he doesn't respect his need to know the truth nor his choices as an adult.

fathers, they always got excuses, don't they? excuses to miss out on important moments in their children's lives. big or small ones, doesn't matter, the result is the same as far as steve is concerned. stan is missing the birth of his child because of a business trip (brilliant idea to go away when your wife is 8 months pregnant, right?). steve is sick of the bullshit.

but then... there's danny. in a world of absent fathers danny chooses to be present! even for children that (as far as he knows) aren't his. don't think a father should miss this. there are no excuses for danny. he always chooses family, he gives unconditional love and support, he helps his ex wife deliver another man's baby, he even spares kindness for the man who got the family he had wanted. he doesn't put his ego or an agenda over being there for his kids.

for someone like steve, who became an orphan through abandonment, danny's approach is revolutionary. no wonder you can feel the sheer love and soft yearning for a family with danny radiating off of him in waves.

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just an excuse to draw steve with silver hair :p 

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 #H50 #AlexOLoughlin #ScottCaan

(X)

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We come back with Steve, or we don’t come back.

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i’ve written actual words trying to express my feelings on this in the past, but like. “what’s the matter?” / “i love you” still drives me wild. hits me right in the solar plexus every time. imagine your platonic life partner is standing right in front of you. he asks you what’s wrong. you reply you love him. he says he loves you too. it’s aired on tv and somehow it’s still supposed to be read as purely platonic even though it’s an unspoken truth that between you something is lurking inches under the surface, some clawed subtext leering at you from the murky depths, some looming shadow right behind you in the mirror. “what’s the matter?” you try to find the words, because you know them. they’re simple and they’d be reciprocated. you open your mouth. you can’t say anything, because it wasn’t written that way. “what’s the matter?” he is your partner. he is your best friend. he is the reason anyone still bothers wrapping up your arm, instead of dropping a sheet over your body. he is standing right in front of you. “what’s the matter?” you are helpless. it shivers down your spine. “what’s the matter?” “i love you,” you implausibly deny, and in bright daylight the plot moves on, platonically.

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okay i cant stop having transmasc!steve thoughts so here’s some random hcs:

When he arrives at the mainland, the first thing he does is borrow Uncle Joe’s scissors and hack off all his hair. When Joe finds him in the bathroom, surrounded by his locks, he silently hooks up his electric razor, and finishes the job - until Steve has a facsimile of a buzzcut

He inherits his mother’s chest, which means that Steve rarely needs chest binders, if ever - but once he makes it clear that he intends to try out for SEALs, Joe insists on top surgery

It takes Steve about two months after the surgery before he’s ready for normal exercise, but Joe makes him wait a whole year before letting him start hormone therapy

It takes another two before Steve’s ready for BUDs, and Joe ties up and classifies all of Steve’s medical records 

When his father asks over the phone why his voice is deeper, and was Steve feeling sick?, he lies and says it’s a bad connection

Later, much later, after his dad’s funeral - Steve stares at his tombstone: John McGarrett, Beloved Father and Husband, Survived by Two Children, and wonders if Joe had told him the truth

Catherine finds out because Steve is drunk the first time they fall into bed together, too tipsy to realize what it meant that she was going to see him naked. She looks adorably confused for all of two seconds, before she clamours off him, rummages through her back - and pulls out her pink vibrator with a massive smile

Freddie founds out when they’re separated from their team and captured by insurgents in 2006. They’re chained to a wall and stripped down to their undergarments, forced to huddle together for warmth. 

After they’re rescued, and brought back to camp: Freddie disappears, against medical orders, completely ignoring Steve. He shows up a couple hours later when the medical tent is empty of everyone but Steve and the nurse on duty - and he’s got a mini pack of tampons tucked under his shirt that he tries to discreetly pass onto Steve. Steve looks at the pack of tampons, and then back at Freddie, and then laughs until he cries

(There’s something incredibly freeing about the fact that all the important people in Steve’s life know, and he hasn’t had to come out to them. Not that he begrudges people who do come out, but there’s something quite freeing about the whole thing)

He doesn’t know when Danny finds out. He’s adamant about doing things differently this time - actually coming out to Danny instead of just springing it on him while they’re busy, like he did with Catherine

Except, for all his military training, he’s not actually the best at following through with his plans - which is how he ends up pressed against the wall of his office during a night ostensibly about finishing up paperwork, Danny steadily but surely kissing his way down Steve’s chest - clearly licking a path into his trousers

“Danny I -” Steve pushes him off with supreme effort, “Danny stop, stop I have to tell you something.”

Danny looks up at him from where he’s crouched on his knees, lips red and glistening, and it’s almost enough to send Steve over the edge right then and he wants to enjoy this damnit

“I’m not -” Steve breathes through his nose, trying to calm himself enough to string together a proper sentence, “I wasn’t born -”

Danny cups him through his trousers, hard and with intent

“Babe, I was married to Rachel for a decade. I know my way around your equipment.”

“But how did you know that I was - ?”

“I’m a detective. I detected. That is literally my job. Now can I - ?”

Steve just nods, because he doesn’t trust himself to speak - or for his voice to not crack and become embarrassingly squeaky. Danny just grins, before leaning in and undoing Steve’s buttons with his teeth

(okay this is all ive got for now, but i literally cannot get the thought of transmasc!steve out of my head so i may actually go down a research rabbit hole [so that i know what im talking about] and write something for this)

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For @danny-williams and in response to her transmasc!Steve AU headcanon and fic.

Coming Out

“Steph?” Joe calls into the silent apartment as he closes the door behind him.

He managed to leave base early today, it’s only a few days since Steph moved here and he doesn’t want her to spend the days all on her own. At least not until school starts, she’s been through way too much during the past few weeks. Losing her mother, being separated from her sister, being sent away from home by her father—it’s a lot.

Joe thinks she’s holding up good, even if she’s much more quiet than he remembers her to be. She’d always been lively. Outgoing and bold and devil-may-care, never able to sit still for more than a few seconds. He’d always loved that about her.

But it’s understandable, of course, that she’s wary of all the changes in her life. Joe hopes by god that he can do right by her. He’s never really had to deal with kids much before, and he’s very aware of the responsibility that comes with taking care of a teenager. But for now his goal is to help her get back on track after everything she’s been through.

“Steph?” Joe calls again when he doesn’t get a reply. He walks into the living room and takes a look around, but there’s no sign of her. There are only two bedrooms, both doors are open, but then he can hear a small noise coming from the bathroom they have to share. The door is ajar he notices, but he knocks on it anyway before pushing it open—and stops dead in his tracks.

Steph stares at him via the mirror. Her eyes wide open in fear and shock as she’s holding a pair of scissors halfway up to her head. There are tufts of her dark brown hair scattered all over the sink and on the floor.

“It’s not Steph anymore!” she says defiantly, forcefully, although Joe can see that her eyes are glistening suspiciously. “I’m not a girl,” she adds and her voice cracks just the tiniest bit.

Joe is completely out of his depths. He’d known it would become difficult dealing with a teenager, but this—

This feels like it’s out of his league.

This is serious.

He can tell just how dead serious this is to Steph, because despite her defiant words he can clearly see the despair in her eyes now. She’s hurting and this doesn’t have anything to do with recent events. This must have been eating at her for way longer, maybe it’s just been brought to the fore now—

On the one hand Joe is completely blindsided by this outburst and on the other hand he’s kinda… not surprised. At least not as much as he thinks he should probably be.

“Okay,” Joe says with as much calm as he can muster, wanting nothing but chase away the pain his godchild is suffering. “It’s okay.”

He steps into the small bathroom and stands slightly behind Steph, looking at her in the mirror in what he hopes is a reassuring way. Then he reaches out slowly and takes the scissors out of her hand. Steph eyes him warily but she lets Joe pick up some left-over strands of hair from her shoulders. Joe drops them into the sink. Then he opens the bathroom cabinet and takes out the electric trimmer he uses for his own sparse hair.

“How short do you want it to be?” he asks, taking out several extensions for the trimmer and holding them up.

Steph stares at him unbelievingly.

“This… this is okay for you?” There are fresh tears in her eyes now, silently overflowing and running down her cheeks. It must be relief, Joe figures, when she probably had expected to be yelled at—

“It’s okay,” Joe confirms.

“Look, St—“ he catches himself in time, before he can say the name she doesn’t want as hers anymore. Instead, he asks “How do you want me to call you?”

“I… I don’t know. I never, I mean—” A huge sob makes her stop mid-sentence and she hides her face in her hands. Joe quickly puts the trimmer aside and pulls her into a hug, trying to let her know that there’s no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed. It takes a moment and then she relaxes against him, and Joe just stands there and holds her and lets her draw all the comfort he can offer.

“You’re not a girl,” Joe whispers into the silence after a while, repeating the earlier statement. “You’re a boy?”

He gets a small sob and a confirming nod against his shoulder as an answer.

“Alright. How about I call you… Steve?”

Another nod, a little more confident this time.

“Yes,” Steve mumbles, so low that Joe can barely hear him. “I would like that.”

“Alright,” Joe says again.

Eventually, Steve pulls away from Joe and looks at him with red-rimmed eyes, and Joe can read so many questions there but also a hint of faith and the fighting spirit he’d always associated with Steph before.

“Look, Steve,” he says, one of his hands on Steve’s shoulder and he’s rewarded with a small, hesitant smile. “I know a little something about the fact that you can’t chose how you feel about… certain things. I know that sometimes you need to hide parts of yourself, but… you don’t have to. If you say you’re a boy, I believe you. I will treat you like a boy. And I will help you, okay? I promise.”

Joe thinks of John and Doris for a moment, wonders if they suspected anything, if Doris knew—it doesn’t matter. It’s on him now, and he would do anything to make this young, wonderful person in front of him happy. No matter if it’s Steph or Steve, he has vowed to watch over his godchild and he will.

Joe knows that if Steve really wants to do this, if he wants to transition and grow up to be a man, it will be a long and difficult road ahead. He also knows that he will be there for each and every step it takes, clearing the path as good as he can. He will have to do a lot of research, but he has some… friends… he can ask who he’s sure will be able to point him in the right direction—

“Thank you, Uncle Joe,” Steve says and Joe is pulled out his thoughts.

“You’re welcome, Steve”, Joe says and ruffles the remains of Steve’s hair, fond and relieved in equal parts.

“Now, we gotta do something about your hair, you look like you cut it yourself—“