prettychaoticstuff

[prettychaoticstuff]

I'm jealous of a love you used to know,

The way it held you, deep and slow.

You say you love me—still I fear,

She lingers close, while I stay near.

But I won't beg, I won't compare,

Just love you more with every care.

And maybe, someday, soft and true,

You'll forget her... in the warmth of us two.

[prettychaoticstuff]

You were a spark, a blush upon my cheek,

A fleeting crush I dared not even speak.

But fate, it seems, had stories yet to spin

You crossed the walls I’d built so deep within.

From laughs exchanged in scattered, stolen time,

To midnight talks and hearts that learned to rhyme.

Somehow, you grew into my world so wide

Now you're the light I carry deep inside.

I don’t need grand gestures or perfect days,

Just your smile,it brightens all my grays.

I’d cross small worlds just to see you grin,

And hold that moment softly deep within.

There’s a calm I find just thinking of you,

In all you are, in all you say and do.

Too far you are, and yet you feel so near,

Your voice alone can wipe away my fear.

I trace your words like stars across my screen,

And dream of days where touch won't be unseen.

Oh, how I long to hold you, not just write,

To share the dawn and not just say goodnight.

To walk beside you, not just in my mind,

But hand in hand, where fate and love aligned.

I’d shield you from the storms life sends your way,

And be your peace at close of weary day.

Though miles may stretch like oceans wide and blue,

Know every beat of mine belongs to you.

I love you more than words could ever show,

Through every phase, through high and silent low.

Until the day I’m truly by your side

I send my soul to you, with arms open wide.

[prettychaoticstuff]

My Blue 💙

You weren’t a storm, you weren’t a spark,

You came in slow and lit the dark.

A friend at first, then something more,

A feeling I had long before.

We drifted once, the silence grew,

I walked away but not from you.

I tried to love someone beside,

But couldn’t stop the pull inside.

Then time came back and so did we,

Not as we were, but meant to be.

Two hearts with cracks, two hands not whole,

Yet somehow stitching soul to soul.

I told you what I feel is true,

That in my world you are my blue.

Not just a shade, not just a hue,

But everything I’m drawn into.

You are the peace before the day,

The voice I need to light my way.

From miles apart, I wait to hear

Your words that make the morning clear.

You don’t love me not just yet,

And still, I carry no regret.

For if I rushed or fell too fast,

My heart still chose you, first and last.

I don’t want promises or plans,

Just space to hold you in my hands

Not really yours, but always near,

A quiet kind of love sincere.

I want to be the sky you trust,

When everything feels dark or dust.

To love you like the rivers do

Soft, steady, always flowing through.

No grand displays, no skies above,

Just showing up..that kind of love.

To give you all you’ve never had,

To be your calm, your good, your glad.

So if one day you look and see

A love that waits, that lets you be

I’ll still be here, the shade you knew,

The one who always called you Blue.

[prettychaoticstuff]

The Stranger Who Knew My Soul

When we first met, it was a stormy tide,

A dance of chaos, where shadows hide.

Eyes that pierced, like they’d known me before,

A stranger, yet something deeper at the core.

You spoke my truths, you called my name,

Unveiling fears I dared not claim.

Without a word, you unraveled the thread,

Reading the secrets I thought were dead.

It scared me, how you saw my scars,

Mapped my heart, aligned the stars.

Every corner I’d hidden away,

You illuminated with your radiant sway.

But in that terror, a spark did grow,

A connection stronger than I'd ever know.

Best friend and lover, a paradox rare,

A bond unspoken, beyond compare.

Vulnerable, bare, yet never alone,

You built a castle where fear had grown.

We were lovers, though never defined,

Bound by a thread that defied time.

Our hearts danced in a platonic sway,

A love so deep, yet kept at bay.

One night, when I lay in slumber’s grip,

Your lips brushed mine—a fleeting slip.

A kiss not meant for waking eyes,

A whisper of love in silent skies.

It shook my world, yet held me still,

A moment suspended, bending will.

For though our hearts were intertwined,

Our love was one we’d never define.

Differences grew, but so did we,

Finding peace in what could never be.

Now, as I look at who we've become,

I see a journey that’s only begun.

In time, you found your people, your place,

A haven of joy, a warm embrace.

And so did I, yet deep inside,

I’ll cherish the love we never had to hide.

Effortless, simple, pure as the air,

A bond unbroken, beyond compare.

Though life moves on, and paths depart,

You’ll always live within my heart.

[prettychaoticstuff]

The curiosity of new beginnings, but this fear of an ending. The month of december, it's cold and foggy and black and white, it's the beginning of an ending.

[prettychaoticstuff]

I used to read about love and think i knew it so well but as i got into my senses love isnt really vanilla and strawberries....

Its the thing you feel when you are with that one friend

Its when you fight with mom but then the next you gossip like besties

Its the feeling you realise when you go away from your parents for studies

Its when your grandpa visits you in your dreams

Its your first ice cream

Its the first shoes your father bought you

Its the secrets you share with your sister

Its the sacrifises

Its not giving up, though sometimes its giving up and letting go

Its the confusion

Its the mess in your mind

You never know what form love would take next...but all i know its chaotic but its beautiful

[prettychaoticstuff]

“And even if we never talk again, please remember that I’m forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.”

— Chasing Amy

[prettychaoticstuff]

Did they get you to trade

Your heroes for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

Did you exchange

A walk-on part in the war

For a leading role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here

We’re just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl

Year after year

Running over the same old ground

What have we found?

The same old fears

Wish you were here....

[prettychaoticstuff]

How are you letting me go and keeping me at the same time

Killing me and keeping me from going

Helping me get up and pushing me down

Can’t help it but can’t leave you cause seeing you makes me see the sun and the moon at the same time🫀🌑

[prettychaoticstuff]

I have kept you as a secret lying to the whole world yet you keep secrets from me lying about the whole world

[prettychaoticstuff]

The biggest problem in my life....ofc thats me..for years i thought people dont get me they dont understand but now i get it...my life is too complicated to even try understand let alone step in my shoes...but it feels good now i get that i have to lead it alone.. why not? I am the main character the only one...it would be so easy if people understand this is how life goes....I aint okay but am happy...

[prettychaoticstuff]

being an Indian classical dancer is so beautiful. you’re an actor who enacts and narrates stories with your eyes and limbs.

but you’re also an instrument with your bells that reverberate in the tunes you wish to compose.

you’re a lover and a traitor, a god and a demon. you are stories and places and elements and kings and maids alike.

you live so many lifetimes amidst the taal of a tabla and melodies curated centuries ago to be passed down to your bells on the stage at that time.

[prettychaoticstuff]

Divided hearts is what am now. Forever alone in the wilderness. Living and dying in the gloom of mist and happiness.

- woebegone wynds, H.H.

[prettychaoticstuff]

Maybe the moon is beautiful only because it is far

[prettychaoticstuff]

He is kinda the memory you think about while casting a patronus charm.

[prettychaoticstuff]

Is that all you want to be? Liked? Wouldn't you rather be passionately and voraciously desired?

- Margaret Atawood 'Bodily Harm'

[prettychaoticstuff]

“What do you say when you're not enough to make someone stay?”

— Katie Kacvinsky, First Comes Love