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It'd be funny if Batburger was founded by Danny who, after moving to Gotham, wanted a Nasty Burger-esque local place (sans original Nasty Sauce), but he added the Gotham flair of honoring/mocking the local vigilantes. He got great joy from coming up with the menu full of puns and references, and made the uniform crappy versions of the Batcrew's costumes. He didn't worry about making money since he's found a good source of revenue (could be Ghost King treasury or Sam wanting to found a fast food place with workers rights and dedicated vegan food), so he pays the staff well, gives them vacation time, etc, and makes the place as gaudy as possible to maintain the bit. Except it doesn't flop like he supposed. It goes so well that he had to expand to various places throughout Gotham to keep up with demand, and now has people interested in starting franchises in places like Star City and even Metropolis (He's negotiating about including their local heroes into the original Batmenu(tm)) Add onto that, despite the fact it is fast food, it's rated so highly as a place to work that it's now rivaling Wayne Enterprises itself. I dunno where to go with this. I just know Danny would be baffled at how this is working and how the actual fuckin' Bats and Birds show up to the 24 hour locations mid patrol for a bite to eat.
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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 8
Tim: Come onnnnnn Dames~
Damian: we're supposed to be on a stakeout.
Dick: wait sorry i had to mute for a fight, what are you two arguing about over there?
Jason: Tim wants to play league days again but Dami's being a little bitch about it.
Dick: OH MY GOD PLEASE LET ME PLAY TOO-
Damian: you are almost thirty years old, Richard. Jesus Christ.
Dick: *gasp* you can't age-shame me! i fuckin' raised you!
Tim: *cackles* for- for like six months!
Jason: yeah i have like five years on you goldie, don't try and steal my child.
Damian: if i play one round will you buy us food and drop it over at the stakeout base?
Tim: oooh, say yes say yes say yes-!
Dick: deal, bring it on.
Jason: fuck yes.
Damian: *huff* alright, it's loading a card.
Damian: *high pitched squeak*
Tim: oh god, what does that mean?
Damian, voice shaking slightly: 'when i was eight, Todd gave me 'the talk', except it turned out that neither his own parents nor father had ever given him the talk, and he had to sit in on when mother corrected everything he'd told me about a month later because he'd gotten it horribly wrong.'
Damian: discuss.
*silence*
*ping*
Tim, crying: did he just-
Dick: OK- *wheeze*
Tim: Jason just left the fucking line-
Dick: WELL I FEEL LIKE THAT JUST GAVE IT AWAY KINDA-
Tim: *shaky weeping* oh my god, holy-
Dick: *cackle* please, please on everything that is FUCKING holy,
Damian: are you even going to ask questions?
Tim: truth. it's a yay. i'm manifesting. give it to us. please.
Dick: *breathless wheezes* you can't- you have to just tell us, Dames come on,
*ping*
Jason: ok-
Damian: it's a yay, it happened.
Jason: FUCK.
*ping*
Dick and Tim: *burst out laughing*
Damian: i truly feel like that was his own fault.
Tim, delirious: god i'm so happy we figured out you were funny Damian, so happy.
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Damian, texting Bruce: Baba! Help, I’m being kidnapped! 😨
Bruce, texting back: Where are you?
Damian: I’m with some strange person in their car. Help! The car smells like poor people! 😭💔
Bruce stared at the text messages, remembering who Damian was last with. He immediately went to Jason's number.
Bruce: I'm just gonna call Jason.
Jason answered after five rings. He was in a car; Damian and Tim were joining him on a trip to Dave and Buster's. Damian called shotgun, sitting up front and eyeing Jason suspiciously since the man dyed his orange with the white streak still noticeable.
Jason: This is Jason.
Bruce: Oh, good, you unblocked me. I'll make this quick. Damian texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Jason: Damian? Whaddya mean, they’re right next to me—
Damian whistled, looking out the window. Tim laughed, realizing what was happening as well. Jason sighed, glaring at his little brother.
Jason: I’ll call you back. I have to punch your son in the arm.
Bruce (used to this): Okay.
Jason hung up, parked the car, then playfully jabbed Damian in the arm.
Jason: THE NEW HAIR STYLE ISN’T THAT BAD!
Damian: WHO ARE YOU?!
Jason: This is the last time I dye my hair orange.
Tim: Yeah, it doesn’t help that you look like Roy's if he was in Fight Club.
Jason: Screw you!
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WHO'S PULLING THE [[Strings]] NOW, [[Cathode]]!?
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If you like more flashbacks featuring unwilling-tagalong-narrator-ghost-chara, consider supporting our Patreon. The link is on the blog’s main page.
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conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 7
Dick: oh yeah i see you guys, hold on coming in hot-
*grunt*
Dick: hey, who are we waiting for?
Damian: Hood is working on the other side of Gotham tonight, but we're still supposed to wait for father while he talks to Catwoman
Dick: *a groan* god, he always takes forever when he's talking to her, and i'm already bored!
Tim: yeah we've been waiting for twenty minutes.
Jasons, whispering: sucks to suck for you guys- oh SHIT-
*distant gunshots*
Dick, casual: did you just give away your position to insult us Jay?
Jason, strained: *gunshot* NO,
*more gunshots, a yelp*
*silence*
Dick: anyway i'm still bored.
Tim: wanna play a game me and Damian made up?
Dick: you two made up a game?
Tim: yeah after Damian messed up and accidentally revealed he was fun on the main line.
Damian: i don't know what you're talking about, i've never had fun in my life.
Tim: -we're calling it 'league days: yay or nay?'
Dick, amused: ok, what are the rules.
Tim: ok, so, the aim of the game is to find out stuff from Damian's league days, because he got up to a lot of insane shit over there. he wrote down any interesting experiences he could remember onto a bunch of cards and then got Jason to digitalize them into a randomizer,
Tim: and then we got Jason to come up with a bunch of fake experiences and mix them in with the real ones. Damian doesn't know what the fake ones are so he has no way to come up with stories beforehand. the rules are Damian has to use the app Jason made to shuffle a random card, read it out loud to us, and then we have to guess if it's real or fake. we can ask him questions about what the card says and he has to answer, and then we have to figure out if he's bullshitting or not.
Tim: Jason isn't allowed to play because obviously he was there for like, 90% of the truths.
Jason: but i am allowed to listen and laugh! fuck you guys by the way, i almost died and nobody checked up on me.
Damian: sucks to suck, Todd. are you playing, Grayson?
Dick, giggling: holy shit, yes, i'm in. read a card.
Damian: ok, hold on.
*a beat*
Damian: oh- *a strangled sigh*
Tim: you have to read it out loud!
Damian: i am!
Damian: 'when i was a child, Todd introduced me to pokemon games, and then convinced me that pokemon were real by painting a snail and telling me it was a very small magcargo. years later, this lie was then used to convince me that i should move to Gotham.'
Jason: *bursts out wheezing* OH MY GOD-
*continuous cackles*
Damian: we may have to mute him.
*more distant laughter*
Tim: please god, let this be true.
Dick, smothering giggles: and- oh my god- and we get to ask questions?
Damian, resigned: ask away.
Tim: so- hmm.
Dick: *wheeze*
Tim: the reason you came to Gotham...?
Dick, wetly: yeah that's- that's what i think we need clarification on. Jason... Jason told you pokemon were real, and then...?
Damian: so i was around five years old, and had never played a video game before, and Todd came back from a mission with one of those handheld consoles and an old pokemon game loaded in.
Tim: what, and he told you it was real?
Damian: he told me it was based on reality and that it was just very rare to see pokemon in real life, especially in the area that the compound was in. to be fair i'd never left, so i had no way to confirm that or not.
Dick: still though, painting a snail got you to believe it?
Damian: it was- i-
*a sigh*
Damian: it was a fairly competent art project.
Jason: *starts laughing again*
Tim: see this is a hard one, because i don't know if he's laughing because of how proud he is that he did it, or because of how funny he finds his own lie. he makes shit up all the time.
Dick: this is genuinely a tough game, what the fuck. ok. how did this correlate with you coming to Gotham? i thought Talia sent you?
Damian: my mother gave me the option of going to Gotham to train with Batman, or to go into hiding with her and help during the league uprisings. i was unsure at the time because i had never met father before and didn't know what it would entail, but Todd obviously knew i would be safer coming to Gotham with him when he returned, so he took it upon himself to convince me to choose Batman.
Jason: *high pitched weeping*
Tim: see- SEE DAMIAN'S SMILING, i feel like he wouldn't find it funny if it was true, he'd just be angry that he'd ever fallen for it.
Damian: not necessarily. Todd has a very infectious laugh, i could just find his odd squeaking entertaining. you cannot base your answer on that.
Dick: so did you come to Gotham because he told you that there would be pokemon to see or something?
Damian: he told me that team rocket was active in Gotham, and that they were abusing pokemon. i have a fondness for animals, so obviously this angered me and i wanted to intercept.
Tim: it- *wheeze* it angered you-,
Jason: *silent gasps of laughter*
Dick: and what happened when- like, how did you find out he'd lied to you?
Damian: i figured it out on the boat to Gotham, about a day's journey away, and i was so infuriated that i pushed his motorcycle off the boat and sunk it. we were actually- it made us late, we were a day later than expected coming into Gotham because i sunk our ride from the boat to the city and we had to take public transport.
Dick: see but thats- like you told me before that the journey from the compound took two weeks, i can't imagine you being outside the compound for two whole weeks and not clocking that pokemon didn't exist in the real world.
Damian: i was busy with other things
Tim: bullshit, you literally said it was the reason you went!
*ping*
Bruce: apologies for the delay, i am three minutes out from your location. does anybody have any info on Red Hood? i've received reports that he may have been dosed with laughing gas. does he need backup?
Tim: he's fine, he's just an ass.
Jason, still struggling to breathe: ok- ok B's gonna ruin it now so i'm calling it. you have to choose, yay or nay?
Dick: THIS IS SO HARD!
Bruce: what's going on?
Tim: *groaning* god i so want it to be true... but i just don't buy the two week thing. i think you would have figured it out sooner.
Dick: i'm with Tim. i gotta go with nay. it's a lie.
Jason: *laughs slightly* *high pitched* alright, Damian. yay or nay, did this happen?
*silence*
Damian: *deep sigh* as much as i really wish it hadn't, this one was true. i did indeed, for a solid half a decade, believe that pokemon were real.
Dick: WHA-
Tim: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS-?!
Jason: *bursts out laughing again* *cheering*
Damian: i should have never agreed to play this game again.
Bruce: what on earth did i just come in on...?
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Will you guys believe it?? This is the last page of the Waterfall arc!!! I've come so far.... :') I hope you guys enjoyed it and keep reading what I have prepared for Hotland!! Next week I will upload the cover art! Be excited for that!!!
The Ruins | Snowdin
First | Previous | Cover
Commission info | Buy me a Coffee | Support me on Patreon
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Playing against the Mario Party CPUs in the past was usually just a curbstomp, so it was really nice change of pace to have Superstars actually give them a little punch
Click HERE to check out more Mario Party comics!
Commissions Info | ko-fi | Patreon | Check out my patrons!
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the only good art you'll ever make is the art you'll make btw
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