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weird how quick fascists went from “the world is overpopulated. close your legs. stop having kids.” to “pop out 3 babies right now. you have no choice. you have to. it’s your duty and your only purpose.” when they realized they might not have enough vulnerable individuals to exploit in the labor force if the birth rate continues declining

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YOU CAN BE A GUY EVEN IF NO ONE SEES YOU AS ONE

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hanging this on my wall for motivation

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Obama: U busy?

Harry: I’m shooting a perfume ad..

Obama: Is that the one i smelled on you last night? ;)

Harry:  Barack please……………i’ll see you later.

Obama: :D

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They wanna say the word so bad

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First time posting on tumblr and I also don’t rlly scroll much on tumblr so AGGHHHHHG 🙁 been intending to tho

Anyways I love Crowe a lot. AUGGHHHGGHH KISSING HIM. URGH.

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whose fucking child is this

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(If the marvel movies were animated)

*Two guys arguring, but they're the same voice actor*

Main character on the sideline: "Wow it's almost like they're talking to themselves, huh?"

Film Critic: "You don't get it! Yes it's the same actor, but this person has been having personal real life trama, and this is him working it out. It's beautiful, every line is spoken deep from the heart!"

Taylor Swift Fan: "I can't believe they played Taytay's "I hate Queers" song here!!?! It's SUCH a fitting song for this scene!!! My favorite song from her 2027 release "Punk Life"!!!! "

The Dragon you're letting stay in your shed: "Hey I have a question, yeah it's about that car in the back field, the one that's not moved in a while. Do you still need it? Is it valuable, or is it just junk and you don't care what happens to it? Can I have it? No no, it doesn't need to be working, I don't want to drive it. I have other plans."

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The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

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I think the reason Squidward hates SpongeBob and Patrick so much is that he is clearly class conscious while the latter two are classic lumpenproletariat. SpongeBob has a love that borders on fetish for wage slavery, and Patrick's participation in the 1999 nematode genocide (head canon) (think about it the next time we see nematodes after the pilot it is very clearly a different ethnic group) because he was part of a Neptunian Brigade recruitment campaign targeting the unemployed.

Squidward, on the other hand, thinks himself a principled Marxist. He works because he needs to but is also incredibly willing to organize. In his free time he interacts with his hobbies, and his art is often critical of capitalism (second head canon). However he does nothing to start the revolution (besides something we will get into later), perhaps a criticism by Hillenburg towards the so-called Marxists of the western world.

Of course, in the episode where Squidward moves to the squid ethnostate we begin to create a narrative that Squidward's ideology most closely aligns with Zionist socialism, so it could also be possible that he believes the duo inferior for racial reasons, however that would only be the case before that episode because he clearly rejects the ethnostate by the end.

Perhaps we cannot blame Squidward. Two of the most popular people within the city state are Larry the Lobster, who is clearly a fascist, and Kevin the Cucumber, a kind of proto-groyper. It is also apparent beyond this that the society is fascist in the larger context, the representation of law and order are two old men who only maintain their status due to a romanticism of the aesthetic purity they once had.

This is of course why Squidward often doesn't mind interacting with Mr. Krabs. Sure, Krabs is a capitalist, but much like Stalin and Roosevelt united to stop Hitler, Squidward must be cognizant of the relative lack of threat Krabs' vision of anarcho-capitalist utopia (third head canon) represents. The fascists who run bikini bottom are clearly efficient, and any society Krabs could build in its place could not last as long, thus this would give Squidward a better chance to organize the masses if he so chose

"But offices!" I hear you, dear reader shouting at your phone "of course you genius of all matters should know that bikini bottom is a monarchy". Alas, we never see King Neptune govern, and we also see two completely different King Neptunes, which the residents of bikini bottom never address. This of course means that "King Neptune" is a ceremonial title, perhaps an overhang of the system the fascists replaced. Indeed, the best real life example would be Wilhelm II's hope that Hitler would restore his family to the throne.

Of course, in the end, no one will read this far into this post, so I will say that sometimes I take a condom from my nightstand and proceed to pee in it and tie the end. I then hold this piss filled condom in my hand and pretend it is the warm hand of a lover. This of course means that when I awaken, I am holding a vessel filled with cold foul smelling liquid, which allows me to remind myself that I am unlovable

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I know we are all used to hear bad news from the USA or UK when it comes to trans rights but this time Germany wants to play in the same league.

Our idiots at home ministry came up with the fucking idea to start a register for all transgender and nonbinary people which would mean every person working at some public position could always at any given time see your assigned gender at birth, your deadname, your address and who knows what else.

We had been there in the past. Hitler Germany called it the "Travestite Law" back then. Our politicians didn't learn.

We all know this is unacceptable.

Please, if you are German, sign it. If you are not, spread it wide and far.

This had been stopped once a few years ago. It needs to be stopped again.

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I need the saxophone riff from Careless Whisper to be used properly. It's not just horny it is LONGING. WANTING WITHOUT HAVING. STOP USING IT FOR PURE LUST. IF THERE ISN'T SOMETHING TRAGIC STFU

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'Oh wow, I wonder who gave me all these notes?'

The faithful mutual:

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Yk what. As much as I hate my job, I've maintained my goal weight for several weeks thanks to it.

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