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[privatereads]

How To Control a Sub

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

Make him shop for lingerie with you.

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So ist es der perfekte Ring tausch..würde mir sehr gefallen

[privatereads]

"The Pleasure Trap"

Although Most Females Are Truly Unaware of It at the Conscious Level, Subconsciously Most Females Understand the Following Fact “Innately” when it’s Rationally Exposed to Them:  A Man is Much More Obedient, Kind, Nurturing, Loving & Generous with his Woman, When he is “Yearning” For Orgasm – Rather than After He’s had One. This is Due Primarily to the Unconscious, Involuntary Neurochemistry of His Male Mind.

Neurochemistry is Quite a Fascinating and Intriguing Science, But also quite simple to summarize to get that “Aha!” Feeling About Male Orgasm Mood Change “After” Orgasm/Ejaculation. To understand what is going on, You need to look into the Three Powerful Neurotransmitters - Oxytocin, Prolactin and Dopamine that all interplay while a Male is Visually as well as Sexually Aroused and Stimulated. Feminine Sexual Attention (Teasing & Edging) Serves to Naturally Heighten Male Dopamine Levels - The Powerful Reward Chemical that is at the Very Heart of All Human and Animal Behavior. Along with the Dopamine “Increase” when a Male is Highly (Hyper) Aroused is also Heightened Levels of Oxytocin flooding his bloodstream, often colloquially referred to as the “Cuddle Hormone” that is responsible for “Bonding” not only between couples but between siblings, children etc - and produces that warm wonderful afterglow after sex. Interestingly, (Both Genders Produce Oxytocin), But these levels Fall away Rapidly in Males after they have an Ejaculative Orgasm. Whereas A Woman’s Oxytocin Level Stay Naturally Elevated and Her Dopamine Levels Stay Elevated As Well, Which is Probably One of the Major Reasons Why Women are Naturally Multi-Orgasmic.

So What Is Dopamine You Ask:  It’s at the Very Core of ALL our Sexual Drives and Survival Needs, and it Motivates “All Of Us” to Do Just About Everything in Life. This mechanism within the Reward - Pleasure circuitry of the Human Brain has been around for millions of years and has not changed.

In the Male Brain, Dopamine is “Go & Get it!” and Prolactin is “Whoa!” Learn all you can about the Incredibly Addictive Pleasure Drug Dopamine. It’s Incredibly Strong and can Control a Guys Devotion, Veneration & Ultimate Subjugation (Mystically) if Properly Exploited. Think of the Subliminal Programming Possibilities here Ladies, as You Read the Rest of This Excerpt.

Few females Fully Understand or Appreciate the “POWER” in their Hands, in that All Males have an “off switch”, which kicks in - right AFTER they Orgasm. It is Generally NOT Understood that Guys have the Rare, Basically Unknown “Potential” for on-going, Intense Dopamine-Driven Sexual Desire, If their Naturally Occurring Self-Regulating Production of Prolactin is Eliminated and/or Avoided. When The Male Orgasmic Nerves “FIRE”, The Explosive Male “Orgasm” produces a Sudden Massive Increased Wave of Both Chemicals (Dopamine and Oxytocin), But at the Same Time, Applies the Sexual “Brakes” by Producing Increased Prolactin Levels. Prolactin Functions to Effectively Shut Down Their Intense Sexual Desire and Prolactin Remains Enhanced / Elevated in the Male Brain for up to “Two Weeks’, as it takes a while for the levels of Oxytocin and Dopamine to Return to Previous Levels. Therefore Ladies…, Daily Tease, Denial and Firm Sexual Control of a Males Joystick, Means that a ”Trainable“ (Orgasm Managed) Male Will Be Operating Daily, on Heightened Levels of Both Oxytocin and Dopamine without the Undesired, Destructive and Unwanted rush of Prolactin into his bloodstream produced by Male Orgasm. Thus, Keeping in mind that A Man is Much More Obedient, Loving, Nurturing & Generous with his Woman, when he is Desperately “Yearning” For Orgasm (High on Dopamine)- Every Ladies Secret Programming Goal Should Be to Carefully and Meticulously “PREVENT” the Dopamine and Oxytocin Level Plunge from Occurring, and the Natural Easy way to do this is by Prolonging and Preserving his Raging Erection, While Restraining & Preventing him from having an Ejaculation. Precious Dopamine and Oxytocin (Again The Bonding Drug) Can be “Kept” at Peak Levels While You Easily and Secretly Influence his Vulnerable Psyche.

As for Easily and Covertly Influencing his Vulnerable Subconscious), The Best Time to Whisper your (Will), Desires into his (Ear), Subconscious Mind, is when he is Lost, Floating in Subspace, Blissed Out AND Ultra Rock Hard - “Held” Totally Captive & Imprisoned, Deep up Inside the “Paradise” of Your Glorious Heavenly Womanhood. It Is At This Divine Moment, While His Eyes Are Rolled Back Into His Head and you are Skillfully Delaying & Denying Him Orgasm (Edging), that He is Most Naturally & Helplessly under The Intrinsic Power of Your Will/Suggestion. Imagine the Programming Possibilities Here Ladies - His Vulnerable Open Psyche Will Be Naturally Unprotected, Extremely Susceptible to Your Complete & Total Feminine Control !!!

When His Dopamine (Reward) and Oxytocin (Cuddle) Levels are Routinely and Habitually Maximized - Improved, More Affectionate & Loving Male Behavior, Naturally brings about an increased level of Reciprocal Behavior from his Sensual Nurturing Woman, Creating a Virtuous Subliminal Self-Perpetuating Feedback Loop Deep Within Both the Male/Female Mind & Psyche.

{Visualize or imagine the following scenario… A Man and Woman Laying in Bed, Both Watching The Movie 50 Shades of Grey. The Male on his Back , propped up by pillows (completely naked of course), While the female lays her head (resting it) on his lower abdomen, faced towards the TV screen. For the Entire Length of the Move, the Lady holds Captive and Still, in her Gently Nursing Mouth, the first 2 or 3 inches of the Males Raging Hard - Desperate Erection. She Knows That Not Only is he Feeling “Ultra Male” in this Extremely Rock Hard Condition, But that she is also Flooding his Helpless Brain with Steady and Consistent Levels of Dopamine and Oxytocin. As his Joyful Hyper-Sensitive Manhood Pulses with Each Heartbeat, She is Ingeniously Re-enforcing her Natural Feminine Dominion and Authority - Deep Into the Depths of Her Males Defenseless Psyche. By Tenderly & Carefully “Teasing” Him in This Powerful but Nurturing Way, She Can Make Comments and Plant Her Thoughts and Desires (about Certain Key aspects of the Movie) Easily into the Subconscious of Her Male}.

In Conclusion, A Males Orgasm / Ejaculation / Sexual Energy - Should Be Routinely and Habitually Managed, ”Saved“, Restricted & Preserved (Karezza); Causing Not Only His Healthy Libido / Yearning Desire to Naturally Explode, But His Loving Devotion & Bonding as Well. The whole point of Prolonging & Preventing his orgasm, is to “Accumulate” and Build the Sexual Energy or nervous Energy called “Ojas”, which is Wasted the moment the Nerves Fire During Male Ejaculation. It is not his semen loss that’s the problem, It’s actually the Firing of the Male Nervous System During Sexual Stimulation that Needs to be Avoided and Retained. The more you Conserve this Reservoir of ENERGY, (His Battery “Joystick” Fully Charged) The Stronger the two of you will Bond & His Desire to Pleasure “His Goddess” in Every Aspect of Life Develops Beautifully.

Nurture  What’s  Natural  -  Ladies Are Multi Orgasmic - Males Are Not !!!

While A Males Precious Sexual Energy (Ojas) Should Be Routinely And Habitually Conserved, Preserved and ”Saved“ (to Increase Dopamine / Oxytocin – While Minimizing Prolactin) , A Lady on The Other Hand Should ”Fully & Freely” Bask in Feminine Orgasmic Bliss, As Often As She Desires !!! Nature Intended it Like This Ladies - Don’t Fight Nature, Learn from it, Exploit It and Revel in It !!!

Thus, A Female Led Relationship (FLR)… Keeps “The Passion”  Alive in The Relationship, With The Seductive, Tantric “Femdom“ Art of Karezza…

Secretly, Carefully & Strategically…. Take Him to the Dark Side (Femdom) - Show Him What His Male Body, Was Truly Made For (Karezza) !!!

His Entire Function and “Design" as a Male is Ultimately For Your Total Exploitation, Entertainment and Gratification, Not Just Your Sustenance and Sanctuary …

In Review, Routine & Habitual Karezza “Training” of the Male (Mind & Erection), Beautifully and Naturally Increase “HIS” Libido, Passion, Devotion, Desire and Virility as well as his Subjugation and Veneration. Creating Once Again, A Wonderful, Subliminal, Self-Perpetuating (Feedback Loop), Deep Within BOTH The Male & Female Psyche…

With this Powerful Femdom type of  “KAREZZA”, The Woman’s Love Life / Sex Life - Naturally Improves Exponentially…

Imagine the Connection, The Prolonged Bliss you Both Will Experience - Him Being Perched Everlastingly Right on the Very “Edge” of Orgasm, And You Perched Right “On Top of Him” Having Quivering Full Body Orgasmic Bliss to your Hearts Content. Take Breaks Frequently - Sexual Fulfillment, Is Most Assuredly Made “Sweeter”, By The Prolonging of Desire… In this Way, You Can Both RIDE The Exquisite “Edge” For as Long, and As Deeply as you Both Breathe Properly.

Although this Might Sound Torturous to Some (a Good Kind of Torture) Trust Me, it’s Pure “Euphoria”. By Harnessing, Channeling and Absorbing His Pulsating Sexual Energy Consciously Into and Through Your Consuming Womanhood; That Divine “Accumulated” Flow of Precious Sexual Energy will spread into Everything That You Do. You will Feel Revitalized, Connected and Tuned into the Rhythms of Life and He Will Absolutely and Utterly Worship You…

Note: Depriving a man of the use of his Erection while he is Utterly Helpless & Completely “CAPTIVE”, (Imprisoned) Deep up Inside of the Paradise of Your Heavenly Vagina, is a Most Wonderful Form of Obtaining Complete Sexual Dominance / Control over him, Especially If U Freely Orgasm - While Preventing Him from Doing So .

Having him sit upright and then wrapping your legs around his back is one of the Best Possible Positions for Prolonged Tantra & Karezza Lovemaking, Especially in the Hyper-Sensitive State He Will Undoubtedly Be in After Your Interminable Edging. The Wise Woman, Skilled in her “Art” Must Retain Control of “All” Movements, Thus Beautifully Controlling Herself & Her Male… Until Her Stud Has Not Only Attained Complete and Deepest Union With Her, But Also Become Acclimated to His Secure Enveloping Captivity.

Then….and Only Then….Slow, Rocking (Karezza) Style Intercourse – Will Lead to a Woman’s Complete Discharge of Her Nervous Surplus, Complete Relief from All of Her Sexual Tension Due to Intense Orgasmic Ecstasy, And More Prolonged BLISS and Satisfaction for Him than a 15 Second Ejaculation Could Ever Provide.

Remember, The Key to Teaching A Male ”NEW BEHAVIOR” (How Not To Cum) with the Hypnotic Powerful Neurotransmitter Dopamine, Requires Frequent Repetitive Training !!!!!   If You Learn To Exploit The Powerful Processes Neurochemistry (Dopamine and Oxytocin) Have on the Psychology of the Vulnerable Male Mind - You’ll Be Able to Easily “Train” Your Male To Respond To You, With Virtually Any “Conditioned” Behavior You Desire…

(Karezza)… Ladies Cum  - MALES DON’T (Tease & Denial)

————

Of all the things You can “Do” when You Tease, “Edge” & Torture a Man, The One Thing that will Ultimately give you the Greatest Dividend – Will Be - Ruining His Orgasm.

How many Ladies reading this are Familiar, Comfortable and/or Titillated with the Concept?

Ruining Your Males Orgasm is Always Done by Abruptly Abandoning the Stimulation of His Penis (Joystick) Just Prior to the Point of No Return, Thus Minimizing his Pleasure, But at the Same Time Magically Making Him Hornier & Hornier & Hornier; The Purpose Being, Driving his Libido, Dopamine and Desire for your Femininity Up to Absolutely Peak Levels.

Learn to Always Say, “Aww, Did I Ruin that Honey?” Many Ladies find that they get a Real Power Thrill when they See their Studmuffins Imminent Ejaculation, Utterly Stopped in it’s Tracks. Virtually All Women Become Absolutely Delighted In Just  How “Horny & Rock Hard" Their Males Stay Immediately Afterwards !!!

Once Again Ladies, Here’s the Paradoxical Secret of Habitually Ruining Your Guys Ejaculative Orgasm; His Libido & Desire for your Femininity Will Multiply Beyond Your Wildest Imagination, Such a Win-Win Situation for Systematically Subjugating Him!!!

Within Every Woman there is a “Domme” - Waiting to be Discovered, Nurtured, Worshiped and Served !!! 

I admit, it takes Practice to get Really Good at Ruining a Males Orgasm. Probably the Single Most Often Asked Question in a Woman’s Mind, Women who Really Want to Subliminally Dominate, Subjugate, as Well as Perpetually Tease and Deny Their Stud Muffin “Properly”, Want to know How to Ruin a Male Orgasm The Right Way. Here is a Quick and Sadistic Outline of How You can Learn to Habitually Ruin your Guy’s Orgasms & Make him your Totally Subservient, Subordinate, Lusting Sex Slave (As He Should Be). Remember, every Man is Different and You will have to Learn the Signs Your Man Unwittingly Gives when He is Reaching The Point of No Return. That is, the Point at Which He is Going to Erupt & Explode no Matter what You do. You Can Only Learn these Signs and Signals by Watching Him Closely and “Practicing” Daily. Watch his facial expressions, his body, his feet, his movements, which muscles tense and Watch His Breathing .

You Need to Get Him and “Keep” Him Ultra Aroused Obviously, and then You want to Bring him as Close to Orgasm as You possibly Can, Without Allowing Him to Actually Cum while You are touching him. I emphasize this because in order to ruin his orgasm Properly, You must stop All Physical Stimulation “Right Before” The Last Possible Second. Always Remember, It’s Better to Stop Stimulation 15 Seconds Too Early, Than 1 Second Too Late !!!

I recommend that you Stroke or if you Prefer - Nurse on his Erection Very Gently, and with a good amount of lubrication. Although You can do this without lubrication if your sucking on him, Males Last Longer when they are Well Lubricated, And the longer you KEEP Him Rock Hard in the Peaked “Edged” Phase, the Higher his Dopamine Levels Will Ultimately Be. Give him four or five strokes, fast or slow doesn’t matter. Alternate between fast and slow if You like. The Key Is In the Pause Between these “Elongated” Never Ending Sets of strokes. You Must Pause However  Long Enough to Allow Him to Relax and Recover Just a Little Bit, Before You give Him His Next “Set” of Blissful Hypnotic Programming Strokes. The Longer You want to Tease Him, and the More Dopamine/ Oxytocin You Want in His Brain (while you whisper your desires into his open ear), the Longer Your Torturous Teasing and “Pauses” Should Last. Remember, His Impressionable Mind is Quite Open in this Condition to Your Hypnotic Suggestions, So Be Sure To Exploit this Vulnerability Ladies …

Watch him Very Closely !!! When You see the signs of his Impending Imminent Orgasm, Remove your hand or mouth and Stop touching him Immediately!!! Wait at Least Ten Seconds Before You Touch his Hyper-Sensitive (Straining) Erection Again; Fifteen to Twenty Seconds Even Better. Any less time, and You may trigger a Full-on Orgasm the Instant You start Up Again. Many men unconsciously try to hold back their ejaculation, especially if You’ve Properly “Trained” them with Karezza Not to Cum without Your permission, or if they feel they might cum while You are not directly touching them. This a good thing, encourage this behavior & Exploit IT… Once You’ve reached that all important point of no return, they will most often trigger their own miniature ruined ejaculation by just trying not to Explode.

Many Men hold out, for as long as, eight seconds before they Finally Succumb to a Helpless Joyless Ruined Orgasm. That is, eight seconds after You stop touching, sucking & stimulating them. That is why I say, The Astute Lady Should Wait at Least Ten to Fifteen Seconds before she begins stroking her Stud Muffins Hypersensitive Joystick Again. The Longer the Breaks are between stroking stimulations, The Better!!!

What You Ultimately Want to See and Trigger Ladies, is your guys “Creaminess” begin to slowly flow out of the tip of their penis head “smoothly”, like a miniature oozing river - AFTER You’ve Stopped All Stimulation. The Cum will NOT Explode Out with Force as you “and they” are typically used to, Thus in this Way, You Ultimately will be Saving, Accumulating and Preserving Your Lovers Precious Sexual Energy from Being Wasted, and this Sexual Energy Once again Beautifully Builds Upon Itself. The sadistically fun part is, that no matter how hard they try, they will be unable to pump their own cum out with any pressure, But They can try. They can flex their “Kegel” muscles that usually make their cum squirt, spurt, or shoot out, but it will not work :))  Most Importantly, They’ll be Hornier and Harder than Ever…

——- In Review, Ruined Male Orgasms are Just That, Totally Unsatisfying!!! They involve stroking, sucking, stimulating & masterbating an erect penis, Right UP to the Point of No Return, “ALWAYS” After Interminable Edging. And Rather than Milking the Erection Through the Blissful, Cherished Orgasm, a Couple of Subjugating Femdom Techniques can be Used to Properly Ruin the Male Orgasm & Reinforce To His Unguarded Psyche, Your Ultimate (Feminine) Control.  A Quick Summary of the Most Effective, Femdom Techniques are Summarized Below.

Abandonment: Through extensive experience, the Mistress identifies the point of no return (PNR) for the Erection being Subjugated and Totally Ceases Any & All Stimulation, “Just Before” His Ejaculation Spasms Begin. Simply sit back and Delight in Watching the Silly, “Straining”, Pulsating Appendage Struggle to Expend the Unstoppable Pressurized Cream Inside of it, which is Gut Wrenching and Totally Unsatisfying. The Victimized & Totally Stunned Manhood will (Almost Always), Paradoxically Remain Fully Erect and Extremely Rock Hard Following The Ruined Orgasm & Immediately Feel the Oh So Desperate Need to Cum Again.

Keep in Mind Ladies, Your Routine & Habitual Goal is to “Prevent” his Orgasmic Nerves from Firing “Completely“…Thus Retaining Over 95% of His Precious & Priceless Sexual Energy from Being Wasted… A Small River of Cum Slowly “Oozing” Down His Bursting Hard, “Straining”, Vein Filled Cock Shaft is What You Want to See Happening Repeatedly…

Taking This Subliminal Programming & Subjugation A Step Further !!!

Bleeding: An advanced Technique With Extremely Wonderful Libido Building Effects.  Rather than bringing the Desperate, Throbbing Erect Penis Up To the Point of No Return (PNR), Stimulation is Abruptly Stopped JUST Prior to This Point, Causing “Your” Play Toy to Leak Out (Ooze) a Small Amount of Precum, but Still Remain, Right on the Verge (Edge) of Orgasm.

Due to The Wonderful Involuntary Neurochemistry of his Mind, A Males Dopamine Levels Will Again “Be Peaked” at This Point. It’s at this Exact Point in Time that His Mind & Psyche is Most Vulnerable to your Comments, Suggestions and Subliminal Programming, So Exploit This Omnipotent Gift….. Firmly “Command Him” Not To Cum, Tell Him He’s Never Allowed to Cum Without Your Permission and Praise Him What a Good Boy He Is for Obeying You.

After a Short Pause, Once “Control” is Again Regained over the Straining, Throbbing, Desperate, Hyper Sensitive Erection, This Procedure can be Repeated Over and Over and Over Again, Drawing Small Oozing amounts of Cum from the Screaming “Joystick” Each Time.

At Some Opportune Point of Your Choosing, His Vulnerable Bursting Hard Joystick Can Then Be Stimulated to a Maddening, Straining, Painful Dry Orgasm He Will Never Forget.  If the “Domme” is Feeling Particularly Sadistic, the Dry Orgasm Can Then Also Be Ruined, Most likely Leaving the Possessor of the Tortured Dominated Cock Sobbing and Writhing, But Advantageously Hornier and Harder Than Ever !!!

This is the Perfect Time – After “A Series” of Exquisite Ruined Orgasms (RO) – For The Astute Lady To Mount Her Guys Now Supersized, Traumatized, Totally Subjugated and ”Drained“ - BUT Extremely Horny Stud Muffin, in order to Delight in a Rock Solid “Ultimate” Multi-Orgasmic Ride of Whatever Duration She Chooses !!! – Which Normally He Would Be Unable To Endure For Any Extended Length of Time… The Beauty Of This Viagra Induced (Femdom) Subjugation Is, Even With His Raging Accumulated Sexual Energy Carefully Preserved, He Won’t Be Able to Cum, There Won’t Be ANY Cum Left Inside Him !!!

You Will Now Completely OWN Him, Physically & Psychologically !!!

In Review - Eventually the Males Balls can be Completely “Emptied” in this Most Advantageous “Bleeding” Type of Way, While Retaining & Harnessing All Of His Oh So Precious Sexual Energy. Some Very Smart, Liberated & Skilled Women Use Tease & Denial, Along With “EDGING”, Followed By A Series of Ruined Orgasms, as a Wonderfully Sadistic Method of Totally Draining Their Dominated Husbands / Boyfriends Balls, Before They Mount Their Insanely Horny Bull.

Remember, There is a Major Difference Between Male Ejaculation and Male Orgasm; While usually occurring simultaneously, they are NOT THE SAME THING … Male Orgasm is the Pleasurable Rhythmic Muscle Contractions that are the result of Prolonged Mental & Physical Arousing Stimuli (Thus the “Trainable” Multi Orgasmic Male). Ejaculation However refers to the “Out of Control” Firing of His Male Orgasmic Nerves and the Energy Draining Explosive Expulsion of His Pressurized Ejaculate Which Must Always Be Properly Managed, Controlled, Restricted and Purposely Avoided by the Dominant “Ruling” Female of Course !!!.

Remember Ladies, Practice Makes Perfect…

If he isn’t Totally Emptied/Drained of Semen Every 10-18 Days, Forbidden Accidents May Happen, And this is Definitely a No-No if your Properly Harnessing, Absorbing, Managing and Restricting All of his Sexual Energy and Ejaculated Orgasms As You Should Be !!!

Remember Ladies Your Orgasmic Bliss Will Become “Maximized” …The More Your Dominated / Subjugated Males Orgasms ARE Routinely “Minimized”…

Through a Man’s Passion & Libido, Nature Has “Given” Man INTO Woman’s Hands, and The Woman who Does Not Know How to Make Him Her Subject, Her Slave, Her TOY, and How to Thoroughly Control Him with Her Femininity in the End is Not Wise.

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I edge my husband because...

(A great list, even though not written by me) I edge my husband because:

It’s what his body wants, whether his mind knows it or not

It’s more pleasurable for him to be edged and denied than for him to cum – simple biology

I can do this every day, and he’ll stay aroused and excited every time

He makes the sexiest noises when I edge him

I love watching his mind go numb with pleasure

He gets so stiff and hard for me, I can’t resist touching it, and I want him to stay that way as long as possible

He stays in a hypersexual state, always eager to pleasure me any way I want

It arouses me to see him lost in bliss

Edging him is so easy, and it gets easier every day I do it

I want him to be happy, and he’s obviously happy when he’s on the edge

I love that he trusts me with his most intimate, natural reflex, so I trigger it as often as possible (or almost-trigger it!)

He fucks me so hard after I edge him for a few days – he’s like an animal, I fucking love it!

He thinks of me all day and texts me the sweetest things

He works hard, doesn’t get enough respect, and deserves to “zone out” for a while in my hands or mouth

It makes him dream about me, so I’m part of literally every moment of his life

And more, and more… Source: http://healthysexymarriage.tumblr.com

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Sexual Questions ;)

1. First kiss? 2. First time masturbating? 3. First sex toy? 4. First kink tried? 5. First time doing oral? 6. First time having sex?
 -Turn Ons 7. Biggest turn on? 8. Biggest turn off? 9. Quickest way to get horny? 10. Weirdest thing that ever turned you on? 11. Top 3 places to be touched? 12. Ultimate fantasy? 13. Do you like the idea of a three or moresome? 14. Do you send nudes? Do you like receiving them?
 -Preferences 15. Sex or masturbation? 16. Spit or swallow? 17. Cut or uncut dicks? 18. Rough or sensual sex? 19. Oldest person you’d sleep with? 20. Loud or quiet partners? 21. How much foreplay do you like? 22. How much teasing do you like? 23. What is too big for you to take? 24. Do you do hookups or only sleep with a partner? 25. How much kissing do you like during sex? 26. What’s the most attractive part of the body?
 -Location 27. Would you have sex in public? 28. Last place you had sex? 29. Where would you most like to have sex? 30. Do you like spontaneous sex, or do you need to be in the mood? 31. Could you go through with a hookup at a strangers house?
 -Kinks 32. What’s your biggest kink? 33. Are you okay with name calling in bed? 34. Would you do any BDSM? 35. Do you prefer to tie somebody up or be tied up? 36. Do you like orgasm denial/forced orgasm? 37. Do you like overstimulation? 38. Do you like having pain involved? 39. Do you like biting/being bitten? 40. Have you ever been made to/made somebody beg for it? 41. Do you have any strange or extreme kinks? 42. Have any roleplaying preferences? 
-Masturbation 43. Do you own sex toys? How many? 44. What do you masturbate to? 45. How often do you masturbate? 46. How often do you use sex toys to masturbate? 47. Do you masturbate with penetration? 48. Do you go for multiple rounds or settle at one or no orgasms?
 -Oral 49. Do you enjoy giving oral? 50. Do you prefer giving or receiving oral? 51. What makes you orgasm the fastest when receiving oral? 53. Can you deepthroat? 
54. Do you like playing with your clit? If so how do you prefer to do it? 55. What’s your breast size? 56. How often do you go braless? 57. Do you finger yourself? 58. How familiar are you with your g-spot? 59. Do you squirt?
 -Sex 60. How often do you do unprotected sex? 61. How loud are you in bed? 62. Do you enjoy having nipples played with? 63. Do you like/dislike cum? 64. How good are you at dirty talk? 65. Do you get sleepy after an orgasm? 
66. Do you trim, shave or leave pubic hair untouched? 67. How do you prefer partners pubic hair? 68. How many orgasms can you have in a day? 69. How many other people know your bra size? 70. What do you wear to bed? 71. Any funny sex stories? 72. What food if any would you use during sex? 73. Would you give somebody a sex toy as a gift? 74. What’s the weirdest porn you’ve ever seen? 75. Do you often get horny in public? 76. Ever used something that isn’t made for sex in the bedroom? 77. Have you ever walked in on somebody or been walked in on? 78. Do you have any friends you’d sleep with?

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The Most Comprehensive NSFW Ask Around

I’ve seen a lot of these floating around, but none of them seem to get check every box. I’ve attempted to create my own Ask list and try to include as many things as I could think of. Simply pick a category and a number to ask that question. For example, message “masturbation 3 and 5.” On that note, enjoy 500 NSFW asks.

About You

What is the size of your penis/breasts?

Does your penis have a curve?

Are you circumsized?

Have you ever had an STD?

Have you ever been pregnant/gotten someone pregnant?

What type of underwear are you wearing?

What is your favorite type of underwear?

When was your last erection/arousal?

Have you ever had an erection which someone noticed?

Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself?

Explain your ultimate fantasy.

What are your turn-ons?

What are your turn-offs?

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever been turned on by?

Have you sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr (Anonymously or Not)?

Have you sent a nude photo or video to someone?

Did it include sexual acts?

Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website?

Did it include sexual acts?

Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude?

Did it include sexual acts?

If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

What was your latest sex dream about?

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone?

Was it about anyone other than your lover?

What was the last fantasy about?

Have you ever fantasized about someone older/younger than you? How much older/younger?

Have you ever told any of these people that you fantasize about them?

Do you have a favorite person or few people to fantasize about?

How often do you fantasize about other people?

Have you ever showered with someone?

Have you ever confessed you were aroused by someone?

Are you open about your sex-life and sexuality?

Do you orgasm easily?

Have you ever played “7 minutes in heaven”? Explain the experience.

Have you ever played “spin the bottle”? Explain the experience.

Have you ever played “Truth or dare”? Explain the experience.

Have you ever played strip poker/strip beer pong/etc?

Do you shave your pubic hair?

Have you ever had your pubic hair shaved?

Do you prefer clean shaven or unkept?

What is your favorite type of underwear for the opposite sex?

Do you own any lingerie?

How much lingerie do you own?

Whats your favorite lingerie outfit?

Do you like the way your genitals look?

Are you comfortable naked?

Masturbation

Do you masturbate?

How old were you when you first masturbated?

How often do you masturbate?

When is the last time you masturbated?

Do you masturbate to any stimulus?

What do you think about?

What is the last thing you thought of or masturbated to?

Have you walked in on or caught someone masturbating?

Have someone ever walked in on or caught you masturbating?

Have you ever had cyber sex?

Have you ever had phone sex?

Have you ever had a wet dream?

What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. Hands/Toys/Lotion/etc.)

Are you loud or quiet when you masturbate?

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online?

Has anyone ever watched you masturbate in person?

Have you ever masturbated with someone? (Mutual masturbation)

Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?

Have you ever watched someone masturbate in person?

Have you ever masturbated to someone?

Who do you like to think about when you masturbate?

Have you ever told them you think about them while you masturbate?

Whats your most embarrassing masturbation story?

Whats your funniest masturbation story?

Have you ever used something unique or strange to masturbate?

Is it easy for you to orgasm or do you have to work for it?

Whats the easiest way for you to get off?

Is there only one way you can get off? (i.e. Vaginal/Clitoral/Toy Use)

Does anyone know you masturbate? How did they find out?

Have you masturbated because your partner wasn’t around to help? Where were they?

Have you ever masturbated to a fictional character?

Are you able to achieve orgasm through only non-conventional or indirect methods? (Breast Play/Hands-Free/Anal)

What is the strangest object you’ve used to masturbate vaginally or anally?

Do you ever double penetrate while you masturbate?

Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?

Do you edge when you masturbate? (Get to the point of orgasm and stop repeatedly to enhance the experience)

What position do you typically masturbate in?

Describe a typical masturbation session.

How often do you usually last?

Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?

What’s the longest masturbation session you’ve had?

What’s the most amount of times you’ve cum in a day?

Relationships

Are you straight/bi/gay/etc?

How many relationships have you been in?

What has been your longest relationship?

How old were you when you had your first relationship?

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?

Have you ever used an online dating site?

What do you look for in a partner?

What do you look for in a hookup?

Have you ever had a one-night-stand?

Have you ever been a booty call?

Have you ever had a booty call?

Who was it?

Have you ever had a friend-with-benefits?

Who was it?

Have you ever cheated on a partner? Explain.

Have you ever been cheated on? Explain.

Would you ever be in an open relationship? Have you?

Porn & Sex Industry

Do you watch porn?

How often do you watch porn?

What is your favorite category?

When is the last time you watched porn and what was it?

How do you feel about hentai (Anime Porn)?

How do you feel about gang-bang porn?

How do you feel about cumshot porn?

How do you feel about lesbian porn?

How do you feel about amateur porn?

How do you feel about cuckold/cuckqueen/swinging porn?

How do you feel about threesome porn?

How do you feel about teen porn?

How do you feel about Japanese/Asian porn?

How do you feel about mature porn?

How do you feel about ebony porn?

How do you feel about bondage porn?

How do you feel about masturbation/solo porn?

How do you feel about rough/violent/humiliating porn?

How do you feel about BBW porn?

How do you feel about orgy/party porn?

How do you feel about trans/shemale porn?

How do you feel about POV porn?

How do you feel about blowjob porn?

How do you feel about bukkake?

How do you feel about extreme porn?

Have you ever tried to recreate a scene?

Have you ever used porn to show a partner what you like/want?

Has a partner ever used porn to show you what they like/want?

Who is your favorite pornstar(s)?

Have you considered getting into porn?

Have you considered being a webcam performer?

Have you watched cam girls?

Do you have a favorite cam girl?

Have you ever watched porn with a partner? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever watched a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever performed in a cam-show with a partner? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever been to a strip club?

Do you frequent strip clubs?

Do you have a favorite strip club?

Do you have a favorite stripper/dancer?

Do you get lap dances or just watch the performances?

Whats your best strip club experience?

Most embarrassing strip club experience?

Funniest strip club experience?

Have you ever orgasmed from a lap dance? Describe the experience(s).

Sex

Are you a virgin?

How old were you when you lost your virginity?

If you haven’t, when would you like to?

Explain your first time in detail.

How many sexual partners have you had?

Who was your best sex partner?

Did you tell someone after you lost your virginity? Who?

Do you give oral sex?

Have you received oral sex?

Do you prefer to give or receive oral sex?

Have you had anal sex? How was your first experience?

Do you have any friends you would hookup with?

Have you wanted to have sex with someone, but couldn’t? Why couldn’t you?

Do you like dirty talking?

Do you like being called names?

Do you like being called obscene names? (Bitch/Slut/Whore/Sissy/etc)

Are you loud or quiet in bed?

Whats your favorite position?

Have you ever invented a position?

Whats the strangest position you’ve tried?

Have you ever been caught or walked in on while fucking?

When is the last time you had sex? Describe the experience(s).

When is the last time you received oral? Describe the experience(s).

When is the last time you gave oral? Describe the experience(s).

When is the last time you had anal sex? Describe the experience(s).

Which celebrities would you want to have sex with?

Any fictional characters you want to hookup with?

Have you ever had shower sex? How was it?

What is your favorite position(s)?

Where is the strangest or wildest place you’ve had sex/oral?

Have you ever broken up with someone because they couldn’t satisfy you?

Have you used anything to improve sexual performance? (Penis Extenders/Tingling Lube/Cock Rings)

Whats your most embarrassing sexual experience?

Whats your funniest sex experience?

Have you ever had any performance issues? What were they?

Are you on birth control?

Do you use condoms?

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Describe the experience(s).

Can other people get you off?

Is there only one way you can cum? (i.e. Clitoral Stimulation Only/Anal Only/Toy/Specific Position)

Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever rejected someone?

Have you ever been stopped mid-sex? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex outdoors? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex in public? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex in front of others? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex in a car? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever given or received road head? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex/oral/manual sex in a movie theater? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex in a fitting room? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex in a plane? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had sex at work? Describe the experience(s).

Explain your best sex experience in detail.

Which non-genital parts of your body do you like being touched or stimulated?

Do you ever take pictures or videos when you have sex? Explain the experience(s).

Have you ever given a strip tease to a partner?

Have you ever given a lap dance to a partner?

Have you ever received a strip tease from a partner?

Have you ever received a lap dance from a partner?

Have you ever “titty-fucked” before?

Has someone ever “titty-fucked” your breasts?

Do you prefer your partner to be vocal/moan loudly?

Do you enjoy having your nipples played with?

Do you ever role-play?

What situations or themes have you role-played?

What would you like to role-play?

Do you role play with costumes?

Do prefer lingerie in the bedroom?

Do you enjoy rough sex?

What would you like to improve about your sex life?

Have you ever gone into public with hickeys? Did you know they were there?

Have you ever had a threesome? Describe the experience.

Would you like to have a threesome?

Who would you like to have a threesome with?

Would your partner be okay with a threesome?

Would you like to be with two men at the same time?

Would you like to be with to girls at the same time?

Would you like to be with more than two girls at the same time?

Would you like to be with more than two guys at the same time?

Have you ever been double penetrated? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had every hole filled or been involved with filling each hole? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever tried ’69’? Explain the experience.

Do you like cum or is it gross?

Have you ever tasted cum? Do you like it?

Where is your favorite place to cum or receive cum?

Have you ever had sex while on a period/with someone on a period?

Do you listen to music while you have sex? What kind?

Have you ever used a buttplug while having sex?

Have you used any form of sex furniture? What kind?

Have you ever brought toys into the bedroom with a partner? What kind? Describe the experience(s).

Do you eat ass?

Do you like to have your ass eaten?

Have you ever anally fingered your partner?

Do you like prostate play?

Is it gay for a man to enjoy anal stimulation from a woman?

Have you ever experienced a prostate orgasm?

Have you ever double penetrated/been double penetrated with the assistance of a toy?

Have you ever experimented with the same sex? Describe the experience(s).

Do you prefer sex with a man or with a woman?

Have you ever had sex with another couple(s) monogamously? (Not touching the other couple(s))

Have you ever watched another couple have sex?

Have you ever gotten cum in your eye?

Has anyone ever cum inside you on accident? How did you feel about that?

Have you ever cum inside someone on accident? How did they respond?

Have you ever cum in your pants? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever sexted?

Do you like to play with balls/have your balls played with?

Are hand jobs boring or are they underrated?

Describe your average orgasm.

Describe your average cumshot.

Whats the quickest you’ve ever been brought to orgasm?

Whats the quickest you’ve ever brought someone else to orgasm?

How long are you usually able to last?

What’s the most times you’ve had sex (or sexual contact with a partner) in a day?

Whats your longest sex session?

Toys

Have you ever bought a sex toy?

What is the last sex toy you bought?

What sex toy do you currently want?

Would you let someone buy you a sex toy?

How many toys do you own?

What kind of toys do you own?

What is your favorite toy?

Have you ever used a washer/dryer as a sex toy?

Have you ever used a shower head as a sex toy?

Have you ever used a pocket pussy or Fleshlight?

Have you ever improvised a sex toy? (Cucumber/Banana/Etc.)

What is the strangest sex toy you’ve ever used?

What is the strangest improvised sex toy you’ve ever used?

Do you prefer sex toys or the real thing?

Do you own any buttplugs?

Do you ever wear a buttplug in public?

Do you have any vibrating panties?

Do you ever wear vibrating panties in public?

Do you like nipple clamps?

Fetishes

What fetishes do you have?

What is your favorite fetish?

Have you indulged in all your fetishes?

What fetishes are you yet to experience?

Are there any fetishes you don’t have yet, but may be interested in?

Have you experienced BDSM? Do you practice it?

Are you a top/dominant a bottom/submissive or a switch?

What is it about BDSM that you like?

Have you experienced being tied up or restrained? Describe the experience.

Have you experienced rope play? Describe the experience.

Do you enjoy long, extended teasing/edging sessions?

What is the longest you’ve been teased/edged?

Do you enjoy tease and denial?

Do you like to be denied?

Do you have a panty fetish?

Have you ever purchased panties from a woman online?

Have you ever used panties to masturbate? (Stuffing/Wrapping/Etc.)

Do you have a hosiery fetish?

Do you like pain?

Do you like spanking/being spanked?

What do you prefer to use to spank? (Paddles/Hands/Whips/Etc)

Do you like to hit or be hit? How hard?

Do you enjoy choking or being choked? How hard?

Do you like to bite or be bit?

Do you like to slap or be slapped?

Do you like pulling or having your hair pulled?

What is your safe-word?

Have you ever done a cum-walk? (Walking in public with cum on your face/clothes/etc)

Would you do a cum-walk?

Are you an exhibitionist?

What was your best exhibitionism experience?

Are you a cuckold?

Are you a cuckqueen?

Are you a hotwife?

Are you a bull?

Would you like to watch your partner have sex with another person?

Would you like to have your partner watch you with another person?

Have you ever been cuckolded? Describe the experience

Explain your best cuckold experience

What is it about cuckolding that you like?

Do you like to be humiliated?

Do you like to humiliate your partner?

Do you like to be humiliated while cuckolding or do you prefer a friendly environment.

Do you like to be forced into crossdressing?

Do you like to be forced into feminization?

Do you like to be forced into sissification?

Have you ever fisted? Explain the experience.

Do you like extreme insertion? Have you ever experienced it?

Are you a swinger?

Do you soft-swap or hard-swap?

Have you ever been to a swingers club (with a partner)?

Would you ever go to a swingers club (with a partner)?

Explain your best swinging experience.

Would you ever participate in an orgy? (4 or more people)

Would you ever participate in a gang bang? (4 or more people)

Have you ever pegged/been pegged? Describe the experience.

Do you peg often?

What is it about pegging that you like?

Describe your best pegging experience.

Do you enjoy large strap on dildos or smaller?

Do you enjoy sucking or having your strap on sucked?

Do you like incest?

Have you ever experienced incest?

Do you like face-sitting/smothering?

Do you have experience in face-sitting/smothering?

Do you like weapon play?

Do you like forced cum eating?

Do you like rape play?

Have you experienced rape play?

Do you like to be dominated?

Have you ever been dominated online?

Whats the most humiliating thing you’ve been forced to do?

Do you enjoy pet-play?

Do you like daddy dom/little play? Describe the experience(s).

Do you like to be worshiped?

Do you like to worship?

Do you like to be spit on or spit on your partner?

Do you like to keep the slave play in the bedroom or carry it over to real life?

Have you ever been suspended while having sex?

Do you like ball-busting/CBT (Cock and Ball Torture)?

Do you like to be told what to do?

Do you enjoy giving/receiving JOIs? (Jerk Off Instructions)

Describe your best JOI experience.

Have you ever given or received a foot job?

Would you ever swap cum with your partner?

Have you ever tried fetching? (Sucking cum from a partners anus or vagina after finishing)

Do you like watersports?

Do you like sounding?

Would you participate in a bukkake?

Do you enjoy brat play?

Have you ever participated in chastity?

What is the longest you’ve been locked up or forced a partner to be locked up?

Have you ever cum while in chastity?

Have you ever experienced a full friction/lap dance?

Have you ever cum or made someone cum from a full friction lap dance/grinding?

Do you enjoy outercourse/hotdogging/pussyjobs?

Do you enjoy cumming or watching someone cum over strange objects?

What is the strangest way anyone has made you cum?

What is the strangest way you’ve made anyone cum?

Do you enjoy forced cum eating?

Do you enjoy premature ejactulation?

Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Describe the experience(s).

Have you ever had your prostate milked or milked a prostate?

This or That

Vaginal or Anal

Vaginal or Oral

Oral or Anal

Handjob or Oral

Handjob or Anal

Handjon or Vaginal

What feels better, masturbation or sex

Rough Sex or Intimate Sex

Car Sex or Outdoor Sex

Dominant or Submissive

Spit or Swallow

Facial or Cum on Tits

Facial or Cum in Mouth

Facial or Cum on Ass

Facial or Cum on Belly

Cum on Tits or Cum in Mouth

Cum on tits or Cum on Ass

Cum on Tits or Cum on Belly

Facial or Creampie

Facial or Anal Creampie

Vaginal Creampie or Anal Creampie

Circumcised or Uncircumcised

Boxers or Briefs

Tits or Ass

Ruined or Complete Orgasm

Vaginal or Clitoral Orgasm

Prostate Orgasm or Regular

Cuckolding or Swinging

Pegging or Grinding

Lap Dance or Strip Tease

Grinding Orgasm or Titty-Fucking Orgasm

Be Humiliated or Worshiped

Footjob or Hotdogging

Lace Panties or Cotton Panties

Latex or Leather

Silicone Dildo or Glass Dildo

Dildo or Vibrator

Hitachi or Sybian

Real Cock or Sex Toy Cock

Real Pussy or Fleshlight/Pocket Pussy

Cam Sites or Porn Sites

Strip Clubs or Porn

Dirty Talk or Loud Moaning

Faked Orgasm or Premature Ejaculation

Cum on Clothes or Cum in Hair

Lingerie or Naked

CFNM or Naked

Corset or Bustier

Thongs or Cheekies

Porn or Sex

JOI or Lap Dance

Fishnets or Nylons

Big Dick or Small Dick

9" Dick or 4.5"Dick

Length or Girth

Big Tits or Small Tits

Petite or Chunky

Muscular or Average

Beard or Shaven

Pubic Hair or None

Thigh Gap or Thick Thighs

Twerking or Slow Tease

Prostate Orgasm or Frenulum Orgasm

Anal, Clitoral or G-Spot Orgasm

Big Ass or Tight, Toned Ass

Skinny or big

Nerdy or Preppy

Cheerleader or Nurse

Firefighter or Cop

Sex on the Beach or Sex on a Plane

Sex in Public or Sex in a Car

Vibrating Panties or Butt Plug

Ball Licking or Rimming

Nipple Stimulation or Neck Stimulation

Hair Pulling or Spanking

Choking or Slapping

Big Dildo or Small Dildo

Realistic Dildo or Smooth Dildo

On Top or On Bottom

Long Hair or Short Hair

Giving Head or Receiving Head

Getting Anal or Giving Anal

Pussy and Anal Penetration or Ass and Mouth Penetration

Two Girls or Two Guys

Bukakke or Glory Hole

Reverse Gang Bang or Male Gang Bang

Doggy Style or Missionary

Cowgirl or Reverse Cowgirl  

Cuckold or Be Cuckolded

Cum On Someone or Be Cummed On

Drunk Sex or High Sex

Slow or Fast

Veiny Dick or Curved Dick

[privatereads]

1. Allows her to her decide who will drive, whether on the road, or in the bedroom.

2. A clean home and good personal hygiene are high priorities for him.

3. Is very respectful towards all women, but only worships his Domme, putting her above all others.

4. Doesn’t expect his Domme to be a fetish dispenser for his kinks.

5. Can cook delicious, healthy meals and is always willing to try new recipes.

6. Tries to remain electronically available to his Domme at all times and physically available, job permitting.

7. Fiercely defends his Domme’s honor if someone talks about her behind her back.

8. Makes her feel worshipped, loved, and wanted the most when she is at her worst.

9. Allows her to make the rules for their relationship and fully accepts the consequences for breaking them.

10. Expresses his desire for her but never expects her to have sex with him.

11. Would rather lay around and fantasize about his Domme than ever watch porn.

12. Is eager to learn how to pleasure his Domme better instead of assuming his technique is good enough.

13. He keeps no secrets from her, informing her of his thoughts, his actions, and his feelings regularly.

14. Knows that his Domme will need aftercare too, and ensures she gets it.

15. Isn’t too proud to beg and grovel, and will do so if he knows that she enjoys it.

16. Understands his own need to submit and is comfortable remaining in a submissive role.

17. Is content being entirely sexually dependant on her while accepting her right to sexual independance.

18. Appreciates her dressing sexy for him but never expects it. His submission to her doesn’t change with her clothing choices.

19. Understands the male ego can be a detriment to her authority and accepts whatever steps she takes to diminish it in a harmless way(loving humiliation).

20. Informs her once of his kinks and desires then lets her decide if these should be included in their relationship. He never pushes them on her.

21. He is service oriented and one of his main goals in life is to make his Domme’s life easier. He allows her to decide the division of labor in the household.

22. Reassures his Domme often that her authority is accepted, respected, and wanted.

23. He helps her build and strengthen her dominance. He knows that acting bratty too often can make his Domme question her authority over him which detracts from their female-led relationship.

24. Allows her to speak for the couple and lead their conversations in public. He never contradicts her, projecting to all others a strong, united front on any subject. If he disagrees about something, it will be discussed later in private.

25. Remains sober at parties to be the designated driver so that his Domme may indulge herself.

26. Once absolute trust is established between them, he accepts her physical restraints or confinements without question or hesitation.

27. Gives her his complete, undivided attention with eyes on her whenever she speaks, unless it is unsafe to do so (while driving).

28. Knows his worth and doesn’t need constant reassurance to feel secure in the relationship.

29.  Accepts her discipline amiably when she decides he needs it and thanks her afterwards for teaching him to be a better sub.  

30. Knows how to use his safe-words and safe-gestures confidently so that his Domme doesn’t have to worry constantly about pushing him too far. He knows and expresses his hard-limits.

31. He isn’t ashamed to cry or show emotion while alone with her.  

32. Accepts her teasing and humiliations genially as long as it isn’t harmful to his long term self image.

33. Does chores the way his Domme wants them done, even if it isn’t the best or most efficient way.    

34. Never uses sarcasm when he speaks to anyone, ever.

35. He knows that his Domme is human too, and will make mistakes while leading their relationship. He will respectfully accept her apologies and never hold them against her, assuming she learned from her mistakes.

36. If something in the relationship is really bothering him, he will ask for a meeting on equal terms and discuss the issue with his Domme in a calm, respectful manner, instead of keeping it to himself and secretly resenting her for it.

37. Knows that masturbation is bad for their relationship as it diminishes his desire for her and tries to curb it himself. He accepts any measures she takes to ensure it can’t happen (chastity).

38. Would happily forgo penetrative sex so that she wouldn’t have to remain on birth control if that is what’s best for her.

39. Always puts his Domme’s wants and needs first, but graciously   accepts when she decides the opposite.

40. Respects his Domme’s privacy and what goes on between them, stays between them.

[privatereads]

Some fun ideas for a couple into chastity

Here are some ideas, and some advice to couples that are exploring a female led relationship that involves chastity.  These are not “advanced techniques” and I don’t claim to be an expert, but in the 6 years we have played in the lifestyle, these are some of the more important things I have learned.  If you are looking to completely dominate your husband in every aspect of your life, this is probably not the article for you.  If you are interested in having a more fun, kinky, and exciting sex life, along with a little more control in the household, and help your husband be a better partner to you, this may help.

How long should he be locked?

I truly believe that it should be up to the keyholder and her alone, but some people like to switch things up, so here are some fun ways to let fate decide.

Determine the number of orgasm he has to give the keyholder before he earns an orgasm.

The keyholder could require him to provide her with 10 oral, 10 using a vibrator, and 10 using his cock before he earns the right to have his own.  Or 20 using his fingers and 5 using his mouth, and 5 with a dildo, or strap on, you get the idea.

How about adding one day every time he has an orgasm, so if he made it 21 days this time he has to wait 22 next time.

There is a myriad of dice games that could be used.  If you Google dice chastity game, you can find an endless supply.

Marbles seem to be another favorite, again if you Google marble chastity game, there are plenty to choose from.

I think a really fun one is to use trivia to determine his lock up time.  While lying in bed the keyholder can ask a series of questions about anything she likes really, and for every answer the sub gets wrong he gets a day or a week or whatever time period the keyholder desires locked in chastity, this is fun because the keyholder is still determining the lock up time, by the number of questions or how hard they are.  Try Keyholder trivia, she can ask questions about what she likes, you can both have fun and learn what makes your keyholder happy!

I also think that it is a big turn on for the sub to know that regardless what the “game” determines should be the lock up time, that he knows it is ultimately what his keyholder decides, so when the time arrives that he has earned his orgasm, simply tell him, “I know you were supposed to have an orgasm today, but I have decided to keep you locked another few days.”

Fun things for the Keyholder to say to keep the sub excited.  I think it is important for the keyholder to remember that for the sub in chastity, it is a 24/7 commitment, and sometimes all it takes is the smallest reminder from his keyholder to get his libido back up and racing and keep it exciting for him.

“Tonight sweetie, you can be my little brown noser.”

“Oh! Sweetie, your cage looks tight and uncomfortable!  Oh well, you will just have to suffer for me.”

“You haven’t thanked me for locking up your cock and controlling your orgasms for you in quite a while.  Do you have anything to say to me?”

After he has given you an orgasm orally, you could say, “Sweetie you are getting so good with your tongue, pretty soon I will never have to unlock your cock!”

After inspecting his cage to make sure he is secure, you could say something like, “Hmmm, maybe we should get a size smaller.”

“Sweetie I seem to have lost the key, oh well, we won’t be needing it for a long time anyway.”

“Denying you is so much more fun than letting you orgasm, I might never let you cum again!”

Every time you lock his device, you should say something like, “Now thank me for controlling your orgasms,” or, “There we go, my cock is locked up again, until the next time I need it.”

You get the idea, anything to remind him that you are in control will excite him and keep him happy for quite a while.

Tease and Denial:  I think this is the most important part of chastity and also a successful female led relationship.  There are numerous entire web sites and articles with ideas out there, so I will let you find your own fun ideas, but I would like to remind you that it doesn’t have to last only an hour, there are ways to tease your sub all day without having to lift a finger.

1.      Have him shave all his pubic hair.  It is more comfortable wearing a cage when you are shaved anyway.  Every time his goes to the bathroom it will be another reminder of your control.

2.      Assign him to make you a sex toy, or bondage device, like a leg spreader, or install eye bolts to tie him off to.

3.      Assign him a list of chores you want complete, with the knowledge that if they are not done he will be punished.

4.      Make him clean the house dressed as a woman.

5.      Have him hand wash your panties and lingerie.

6.      Have him run an errand for you wearing a butt plug.

7.      Tell him you need new panties and you want him to buy them for you.  When He gives them to you, tell him you think they will look better on him, and make him wear them.

8.      Before he leaves for work, make him lick your pussy and tell him that he has the privilege of smelling you every time he inhales now.

9.      You can set rules for him, like having to ask to use the bathroom, or having to address you as mistress or princess for the day.

Punishments: Punishments can be fun, or they can be just that, Punishments.  I think any female led relationship should have both.  Just having “fun” punishments promotes behavior from the sub that is unacceptable, because he enjoys the punishment and acts up in order to get it.  For punishments that are meant to correct behavior or habits, he should be aware that you are truly unhappy with what he has done, that you love him very much, and that the punishment is meant to hurt.  After the punishment reinforce that you love him, and you did what you did to help him be a better partner.  I can say 100% of the time that your partner will love you for it, gain respect for you in the relationship, and be far more excited because it now seems real to him.  With just playful punishments, he may still view this as a game.  Here are some playful punishments:

1.      Have him lick your ass, as you watch TV or read a book.  Make sure to give him plenty of direction and encouragement, and tease him a bit as well.  Lets face it, sex is 90% mental.  Say things like, “I love my little brown noser,” or “get your tongue in there or that cage stays locked for another week.”  It’s important that you make do a good job, not just lick your butt cheeks, the excitement for the sub is all mental, being made to lick your ass, the punishment part is making him really do it.

2.      During a teasing session, if he starts moving too much or getting overly close to orgasm, take off your panties, put the gusset on his face and tell him they can keep him company while you go get a drink.

3.      Have him run you a bath, wash your body, lotion your legs, dress you, even paint your toe nails.  Keep it exciting for him by telling him how happy you are he is in chastity, and how you would hate to lose his enthusiasm, so you may never remove the device.

4.      Have him wear panties and stockings to work under his work clothes, no one but you and he will know.  He will be on high alert all day hoping no one notices.  You can text him from time to time to remind him of his situation!

5.      If he keeps asking to be let out of his cage, take off your panties and gag him with them.

6.      Play a little trivia game with him, tie his hands up, play with him until he is excited, and ask him if he knows how to please you, he will of course say yes, then you can say “great!  We are going to play a game, I will ask you some questions about me, when you are right I will stroke your cock, when you are wrong, I will slap it.”  Ask away!  You can ask him anything from your favorite color to your favorite sexual position!

7.      Tens units are a lot of fun as well, as they can be used to provide great pleasure, or a small amount of pain.  They can make a great training tool used correctly.

8.      Take all his boring male underwear, and replace them with panties, and tell him he has to earn his underwear back, and he should wear the panties till he does.

9.      Hoods can be a lot of fun.  Get one with a gag and use some ear plugs and he won’t know when or where you are going to give him pleasure (or pain).

10.  Spankings of course are a favorite, using your hand or a paddle its pretty tough to really hurt him, so spank away.  Careful with some of the switches or canes, as you can actually draw blood with enough force.

11.  If he comes without permission, I consider that a pretty serious offense.  The whole idea of the relationship is that he is giving you control of his orgasms, if he takes that back, its just a sex game to him again.  If he is unable to control himself any more, he should be able to talk to you seriously and explain the situation and let YOU decide when and how he orgasms.  Taking it upon himself is unacceptable.  He should get a serious punishment, be locked back up, in his cage immediately, and made to lick up his mess.

12.  Ruined orgasms can be very effective.  There are plenty of videos and articles on how they work and how to cause them, so I will not go into it, but they take some practice to get it right.  When you do get it right, it actually will leave your sub just as horny, but leaves you with the leverage of saying “you just had an orgasm!”  You know you did it right if his seed simply flows out with no “burst”, also just watching his face will tell you!

Like I said there has to be more than just fun punishments.  Sometimes, he will need to be corrected.  This prevents him from “topping from the bottom” or controlling what you have him do.  Certainly he has to get some of what he wants, but he should not be able to “force you to force him” that is not how it works, and is not as much fun for him or you.  Punishments are also great ways to “tweek” his behavior or attitude towards you, if he is acting moody or speaking disrespectfully to you, simply tell him of your concern, explain what you expect from him, and proceed with the punishment.  Its amazing how quickly a good spanking will get a man back in “subspace” where he is loving and respectful.  Some punishments can include:

The easiest and usually most effective is spanking.  It is both humiliating and a bit painful for the sub.  You can use your hand, a hairbrush, cane, switch, paddle, flogger, crop, shoe, anything really.  Make sure he knows the reason, make sure he knows you love him, make sure he knows it is going to hurt.  When its done hug him, tell him again you love him, and reinforce with him that you don’t want that behavior to continue, as it is upsetting his keyholder.

You can put spikes in his chastity cage.  Be careful here as I have heard of some people actually getting a bruised or cut penis from some of the spikes available for some devices.

Being tied in an uncomfortable position for a period of time.  This can really be painful and uncomfortable, and gives the sub time to reflect on what he did.

Prolonging his release date.  Yep, that’s pretty effective.  Although it really only works if you have a set release date.

Withholding teasing sessions.  What your sub craves most of all is your attention, so withholding it is about the worst thing that you can do to him.  Be careful here though because after a few days in chastity your sub is going to be pretty emotionally vulnerable, and could easily feel neglected by being ignored.  So, if you are withholding your attention make sure he knows why and that he is just not being put on the back burner for something more important than he.

  When you feel the time comes for your sub to have full orgasm I encourage you to let him build up to it, and make it special.  I also could not encourage you more, that if you want to continue with his current lock up, that you ask him.  That’s right ask him!  Say something like, “You have been a very good boy and have earned an orgasm, but I am really enjoying myself, and don’t want to have to start all over, when you are so horny and loving right now.  If you ask me to, I will put you back in your device, and I will promise to be more demanding, more cruel, more kinky, and an all around better keyholder.”  I would make sure he is right on the edge of an orgasm when you do this as it will really drive him crazy!  Be prepared, he will eventually say he needs an orgasm, don’t look at it as him rejecting you, look at it as nature overpowering his need to submit.  If he does choose to orgasm, if you would like to continue his chastity, and devotion to you, make sure he puts his device on immediately after he has his orgasm.  When a man has an orgasm, he immediately loses all his submissiveness, and it is important to have him in his device to start building it again.

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TYPES OF FEMALE DOMINATES

Female Dominate

Female dominance (femdom) refers to a BDSM scene or relationship in which a female is a dominant partner or top partner. A dominant female may have a number of different names, including a Dominatrix, Mistress or Madame. Female dominants often engage in BDSM activities such as bondage, ball busting, humiliation, face sitting, forced feminization, forced chastity, forced orgasm, and pegging. While femdom is specific to BDSM, any woman can give her partner a thrill by donning a corset and some stilettos and throwing a little female domination into the mix. Before engaging in any BDSM play, however, make sure that all players consent to the activities and follow all safety guidelines, particularly the use of a safe word.

Domme

One who asserts control or authority over another; the person in charge of a scene or play. A title for a Top, declaring a role one takes or wishes to take in a BDSM scene or sexual act. A female Dominant, it is mostly used as the title of a person engaging in or wishing to engage in an act where she takes on the role of the Dominant. (The difference between Domme’s and game players: A Domme creates the hunger, the need and the want in the one they want to dominate. A game player just looks for anyone that is hungry for them to dominate.)

Femdom Mistress 

Is where a woman fills a very strong and demanding role and exhibits strong gender role reversals. Males are usually large and more dominant in the natural world. Femdom is a demonstration of the strength of the woman and usually one of the more abusive dominants. Femdom is not only directed to men, but many times can include women in the submissive role, but almost always the Mistress assumes the male role even to sexual acts.

Mistress

A title/term for those that “live” as a Domme. A woman who rules others or has control over something. ( May also like to bark orders and watch you jump. ) In a BDSM scene, a mistress is a female dominant, or dominatrix, in a top/bottom relationship. The term is the female version of the term “master,” which refers to a male dominant. Consenting male and female submissives may be under the control of a mistress, who will often require that they perform any tasks she requests, including sexual activities. If a submissive is disobedient or does not please a mistress, the submissive may be punished. In BDSM literature, dominant terms, including “mistress” and “master,” are capitalized when written, while submissive terms, like “slave,” are not. The same is true when writing a dominant or submissive’s given name. This is done out of respect and honour for the dominant.

Poly Domme

This Domme can literally love more than one submissive at a time and always has the best interests of all of her submissives at heart. She may be a combination of all of the other Dommes listed here and her subs will reflect that. (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A COLLECTOR)

Ritual and Protocol Dominant

A Domme who’s very pragmatic and likes concrete, tangible outcomes may favour rituals and protocols. They’re the kind of Dominant who might be able to step into the role of Empress…expecting you to simply hang around and be available for use. They are aware of subtle details in your appearance, attire, and demeanour and are likely to be very aware of body language during a scene.

S.A.D. - Smart Ass Domme

Also known as a Brat Domme. They like to poke, joke, and generally playful. They are known to do/say things such as The submissive begs to cum, the Domme looks perplexed and says “silly, you are already here.” “like seriously, if I wasn’t tied down….” This is some of the most fun Dommes to be around if you like to joke and are playful.

Sadistic Domme

The Sadistic Domme gets off on inflicting pain on you. MUCH pain. typically into some pretty heavy BDSM stuff, they are not for the weak of heart. During a scene, they will use and abuse you CONSENSUALLY and then afterwards if you find a good Domme, will do amazing aftercare and let you know how wonderful you are. There are four main types of Sadists. Emotional, Mental, Physical, and Sensual. A Domme may be any combination of these. From only one type to all four.

Strict Domme

They have standards they live by and will impose them on you. They like things done their way, no other way will be accepted. They manage their own lives smoothly, with to do lists which they often place before anything else. They have a solid sense of order and routine

Sexual Domme

Everything with them is sexual. Going out in public? put in an anal plug. Have to go to work today? don’t wear any underwear. I am coming over later? You better be naked on the floor and horny when I arrive. Everything is about sex.

The Submissive Collector

Tend to be ones who collect slaves, house and treat them like animals. They also have large groups but typically not treated as a family but rather a herd. They enjoy animal play and dehumanization to the fullest extent. (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH A POLY DOMME)

True/Real Domme/Mistress/Top

It has nothing to do with quality and technical knowledge doesn’t make for experienced. To call oneself true/real implies that any other form of dominance is less or false. There is no right or wrong way to be a Domme/Top/Master/Mistress, it depends on the desires of those involved.

Mommy Dommes

Are usually mature individuals who like to have young people assume the role of daughter or son. This is a relationship found on the extension and evolution of a “positive" incestuous relationship. Many times light discipline (spanking) and other forms of home “play” is included. but don’t let the title caregiver, mommy, or daddy fool you when you find a proper caregiver Dom they will show you who’s boss. They often engage in plays such as cg/l (caregiver//little) where you will mostly see ddlg (daddy dom/little girl) but there are also mdlg (momma dom/little girl), ddlb (daddy dom/little boy), mdlb (mommy dom/little boy), cglb (caregiver/little boy), cglg (caregiver/little girl) and any combination of these. They enjoy taking care of their submissive and disciplining them when they break a rule. In the world of BDSM role-play, a mommy is a dominant female figure who acts as another partner’s mother. More specifically, it is a type of age play in which a woman pretends to be an older woman taking care of her much younger child. The submissive partners in these relationships are often referred to as “littles.” During play, mommies may punish their littles in various ways, such as by spanking, or nurture them, such as by cuddling with them.

Age play and role-playing as a mommy is not related to paedophilia in any way, contrary to what some may believe. Individuals who have mommies or act as mommies are also typically not interested in incest either. This relationship is more about dominance and submission, as well as recreating the emotions and experiences of childhood.

Caring Dommes

They care about you, genuinely. Everything they do, They have Their sub’s best interest at heart. They try their best to be sweet AFTER a scene but do not piss a caring Domme off. that is a huge mistake. They can usually snap within an instant. Not necessarily into any kinks or anything else, They just want to see Their sub succeed and will do everything they can to see it happen.

Dominatrix/Pro-Domme

Usually, a professional that charges for their service. Does not include sex. A ProDomme is a woman who can be hired to perform BDSM services. “Domme” is feminized version of the word “Dom” which is used to refer to the dominant partner in a dominant/submissive BDSM pairing. ProDommes frequently get categorized alongside prostitutes when, in actuality, they typically focus exclusively on BDSM practices and do not engage in sex acts with clients.

A ProDomme typically conducts sessions consisting of BDSM “scenes” or roleplays in a dungeon or other such space that is dedicated for such a use. Depending on the nature of a scene, it may be possible to conduct it remotely via email, phone, or web cam. It is not uncommon for a ProDomme to develop a long-term relationship with a client. In this relationship, she may develop an understanding of their client’s fetishes and even their psychological needs. 

Financial Domination (FinDom)

Financial domination (FinDom) refers to being a financial slave. It is most commonly seen between a willing male submissive and a female dominatrix. It is a fetish that involves being humiliated or demeaned by a financial dominatrix (also referred to as fin-dom), in exchange for money or gifts. It does not necessarily involve sex. It is said to have stemmed from the observations and eventual practice of Miss Marx, a professional dominatrix, who saw how some men get an instant hard-on when handing woman money. She exploited this reaction and eventually began a cult fetish.

The subject of financial domination is often referred to as a money pig. The act of extorting money or gifts from people is referred to as money slavery or wallet rape. Extortion happens through verbal abuse and sometimes consensual blackmail. A man who willingly subjects himself to this abuse is said to justify it by describing women as worthy of his servitude. Fulfilling this desire may be okay if one has enough cash to spare. However, that money might be better off used to pay for a therapist should this fetish affect day-to-day function and other people.

Little Domme

A dominant who is also little. Littles are not exclusively submissive. There are many littles who are Dominants, just as there are caregivers who are subs. (I personally have a friend who is a Little Domme.)

Owner

A term used for those that “live” as an Owner of their property (usually slaves refer to theirs as their owner) Owner is a term for an individual who has accepted complete responsibility for another individual in the BDSM world. An owner may have ownership of a person identifying as a slave or as a pet. Despite the connotations of these words, slaves and pets generally enter into a relationship with an owner voluntarily and are free to leave at any time.

An owner governs all aspects of the slave or pet’s behaviour, dress, and punishments. These will typically be spelt out in a contract between the owner and the slave or pet prior to any activity between them. For example, an owner may stipulate that a “pet pony” always wears a bridle and hoof boots. The owner of a female slave may insist she always wears short skirts when clothed, for example, or that she never wears underwear. Owners are responsible for administering punishments when their pet or slave steps out of line. Conversely, owners are also in charge of pampering slaves or pets to reward good behaviour. Punishments and rewards may be an element of training, which owners are also responsible for administering during daily life. An owner may give a pet or slave a collar to wear as a symbol of the relationship. A pet or slave may also take on a name given to them by the owner to symbolize their new life under the owner’s control.

Switch

A switch is a person involved in BDSM play who chooses to play either a dominant or submissive. Partners may switch roles just because they want to, or to experience different activities. In a relationship between two people who identify as the same BDSM orientation, switching provides a way for both people to meet their BDSM needs. Switches may be looked down on by some people in their community for not being able to make up their minds.

In most BDSM play, one person takes on the role of the dominant, while the other plays a submissive. Being a switch means that a person can reverse rolls. Not everyone likes to be dominant or submissive all the time, and switching can afford the opportunity for partners to experience new sensations and levels of trust in one another. Most switches have been on the BDSM scene for a long time, have played both roles, and are confident in what they want out of a scene.

Domina

Domina is one of several possible titles for a female Dominant. It can be a self-proclaimed title, or it can be the honorific a submissive partner uses to address their top/Dominant. Although less common than the term Mistress, Domina is a popular title in the kink and BDSM scene. It is used to refer to a female Dominant partner.

Governess

In earlier times, governesses were viewed as teachers and disciplinarians. Today, the strict and punitive character of governesses are now a sexual fetish. Governesses were usually young, unmarried women in their early 20s or 30s who were employed as an authority figure over young children and young adults. Victorian-age governesses are often heavily connected to the Anglo-Saxon obsession and lust over flagellation. Bad behaviour was often corrected by a good spanking with young pupils learning how to bare their bottoms and assume the position for punishment. Today, the governess is a figure of fantasy in BDSM and erotica. The seemingly repressed and demure nature of the governess was commonly viewed in earlier literature as a form of sexual attractiveness. The youthfulness and supposed innocence of the governess was both attractive to the pupil and the employer. To the young student, the mature governess represented an older, mature sexual fantasy under which the governess had full control. To the employer, a submissive/dominant relationship existed between the two. The employer was often one of means and power whereas the governess often lacked finances and made a small living meaning that the employer often would be dominant over the governess. Modern erotica now explicitly describes the sexual seduction or relationships between governesses and young women and men.

Hotwife

A hotwife is an attractive married woman who has sexual relationships with other men, typically with the consent of her husband. This is commonly known as a cuckold. These women are sexually uninhibited and enjoy sex, both with their husband and with other partners. They enjoy the freedom and attention that comes with their lifestyle. A hotwife may also be called a slutwife. Usually, a hotwife’s husband is involved in her sexual dalliances in some way. Often he will join in, forming a threesome, or he will simply watch his wife having sex with someone else. These husbands are usually aroused by their wives interactions, but also motivated by their partners’ happiness.

However, there is a growing number of hotwives who pursue other men without their husband’s knowledge. These women may dress provocatively and flirt with other men while their husbands are around, laying the groundwork for extramarital affairs when their husbands are out of sight. Many hotwives wear an anklet as a public display of availability. This piece of jewellery is designed to show men that a married woman is sexually available, whether it’s with or without her husband’s consent. There are a number of online blogs where hotwives and their partners share their sexual exploits and fantasies. There are also blogs containing images and gifs of other hotwives, or models who could be hotwives, designed to appeal to people living or fantasizing about the hotwife lifestyle.

Double/Triple Domme

Double and triple domme sessions are BDSM-style sessions which involve one submissive client and more than one dominant participant known as dominatrixes or dommes.  A double domme session sees a single client interacting with two dommes while a triple domme session involves one client and three Dommes. For clients who book double and triple domme sessions being teased, tortured, and tormented by more than one skilled domme multiplies their arousal and pleasure.  Double and triple domme sessions may be arranged with professional masters or mistresses. These sex workers generally have a good relationship with one another and an understanding of their special talents and practices which helps enhance the experience for their clients.  Some double and triple domme sessions involve general BDSM practices while some focus on specific kinks such as sessions with foot fetish mistresses, kidnapping scenes, or lesbian cuckolding scenes.

Masturbatrix 

A Masturbatrix is a term used to describe a female dominatrix that specializes in the masturbation of their partner. In most situations, the Masturbatrix will deny or delay the orgasm. A Masturbatrix is similar to a dominatrix in that it involves a female who provides consensual teasing and torture of the other person in a sexual way. The Masturbatix often teases the other person during masturbation and denies sexual climax. The Masturbatrix might use different techniques to tease and arouse during masturbation, including different elements of BDSM play.

Humiliatrix

A humiliatrix is a specific type of female dominatrix that is particularly skilled in the art of humiliation. A humiliatrix might be skilled in either sexual/ erotic humiliation, or in real-life humiliation. A humiliatrix differs from a traditional dominatrix in that a dominatrix inflicts physical pain on the sexual partner while a humiliatrix inflicts psychological suffering. A humiliatrix might blackmail their partner, inflict stress, and mental anguish. She may also use physical humiliation techniques like face-slapping and spitting.

Keyholder (KH)

Keyholder is a term for an individual who holds the key to a chastity device. The keyholder has a position of great power, one that is often taken on by a dominant person in a BDSM relationship. Keyholders can be of any gender or sexuality, but most commonly, they tend to be heterosexual women who hold the keys to a male chastity device. The term keyholder is often shortened to the acronym KH. Because a keyholder controls access to a chastity device, they also by extension control the genitals of their partner. The keyholder controls whether the person wearing the chastity device can achieve sexual gratification and even has an impact on how and when they urinate and shower.

Many keyholders enjoy wearing the keys to the chastity device on a necklace. The visibility of the keys while hanging around one’s neck reinforces the relationship between the keyholder and the wearer of the chastity device, reminding the submissive of the keyholder’s power. Keyholders should respect the power they have and never abuse it. It’s important for keyholders to act within the boundaries established before the chastity device is put into place. These boundaries may include specifications about the length of time the keyholder will keep the keys and enforce chastity and whether the keyholder will make the submissive work for his or her freedom. Keyholders typically use the duration of their position to “train” their submissive to be a better and less selfish lover.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Sensual Domination

Sensual domination is a new style of dominance which focuses on delighting all of the senses. When practising sensual domination, both partners agree to take turns assuming and giving up control so they can both enjoy sexual pleasure. Sensual dominance celebrates pleasure over pain and does not involve violence, aggression, or humiliation. Despite refraining from many common domination methods, a sensual dominant still aims to bring their submissive partner to subspace. As it’s easier for a submissive partner shifts out of pain than pleasure, sensual dominance often results in a longer period of subspace.

Sensual dominance is often seen as soft or mild dominance. Many of the tools of a sensual dominant are familiar to those used by vanilla couples dabbling in BDSM, such as blindfolds, oils, ropes, ice cubes, and feathers. Sensual dominance may also involve role play and a foot or shoe worship. The submissive partner is treated with reverence and praised rather than put down or humiliated. While mild pain may be involved in sensual dominance, it is never the focus of these kinds of scenes. Any pain administered is meant to complement the pleasure and never intended to push the submissive’s limits.

Sensual dominance can help couples experience greater sensual freedom and intimacy. Many practitioners of sensual dominance feel this style of domination requires more skill than traditional domination, as it requires more patience and a greater understanding of a submissive’s turn-ons and state of mind. Open communication before a play session can help make things more enjoyable for all participants. While sensual dominance is seen as a fairly mild form of dominance, it’s still a good idea to employ a safeword to ensure the interaction never takes the submissive out of their comfort zone.

Female Cuckold

The female cuckold, also known as cuckquean, is a female who derives sexual pleasure from looking at her partner (usually, but not exclusively, male) have sex with another person. As the cuckolding fetish is considered masochistic, it is considered a BDSM fetish. A female cuckold is a submissive woman who derives masochistic pleasure by looking at her partner have sex with another person. The pleasure comes from the humiliation and the mental anguish caused by the knowledge that your committed partner is enjoying another person more than you. Some theorize that cucks eroticize psychological humiliation.

Cuckolding is different from swinging or threesomes in that the cuckolded person does not participate. It requires a certain level of commitment between the two original partners, as, without an emotional connection, humiliation does not occur at the same level. Many cuckqueans are married. One apparent difference between male cuckolds and cuckqueans is that while cuckolds focus on the pleasure of their wives, cuckqueans tend to focus on the pleasure of the woman her partner is having sex with.

Cuckcake

A cuckcake is a female “bull” in an alternative form of cuckolding where the bull and at least one other participant are female. This involves a subset of cuckolding called cuckqueaning where at least two of the participants are female. A traditional cuckolding scene usually consists of a hetero couple with the man being submissive, and the woman dominant. Another submissive man, the “bull” has sex with the dominant female partner, often in front of the submissive (referred to in this case as the cuckold) while he is left helpless.

In a cuckqueaning scene the equivalent to the bull is female called a cuckcake. The submissive, or cuckquean, is consensually forced to watch the cuckcake have sex with the submissive cuckquean’s partner who can be either male or female.

Cuckqueen

A cuckqueen is a woman who is aroused by her partner engaging in sexual activity with another partner. The pleasure derived from the activity is masochistic in nature and might include a humiliation component. The term cuckqueen is derived from the term cuckold which traditionally means a man whose wife is adulterous. In this instance, the meaning varies slightly because the partner in question is not being deceived and is, in fact, complicit in the activity.

Cuckold

Cuckold, when used in a fetish context, describes the fetish of men who find masochistic pleasure in watching their wives have sex with other men. The man is complicit in the infidelity and often helps arrange the meetings. The couple need not necessarily be married, but there needs to be some kind of commitment between the two. As a fetish, cuckolding is a form of mental masochism that mostly involves mental humiliation. In a typical encounter, the woman has sex with another man while her husband watches. The husband is, of course, aware and willing. This lack of participation, this feeling of being left out, is what many cuckhold fetishists enjoy. Another aspect of the cuckholding fetish is competition. Some psychosexual theories claim that men will desire their wives more if they’ve just had sex with another man because this allows the men’s sperm to compete. While this theory is not widely accepted, some cuckholding fetishists feel this aspect applies to them. Cuckhold fetishism can exist along a wide variety of other BDSM-related activities, such as female dominance, voyeurism, denial and verbal humiliation. Cuckholding is different from swinging (there is not another woman to have sex with the husband) and threesomes (because the husband doesn’t participate). While their power should not be abused, key holders are also responsible for disciplining their submissives should they act out or break the rules while wearing chastity devices. Discipline could involve spanking, taking away privileges, or other deterrents for bad behaviour.

Clothed Female, Naked Male (CFNM)

Clothed female, naked male (CFNM) refers to a scenario, usually sexual in nature, in which a female is wearing clothes and a male is not. Clothed female, a naked male is a common theme in female domination, or femdom, scenarios. Being completely naked in front of a clothed dominant female helps emphasize the male’s vulnerability and submission as well as the female’s control. While the male is naked, the female is free to participate in a number of sexual acts, including erotic humiliation, erotic teasing, pegging, cock-and-ball torture and bondage. Clothed female, a naked male may be portrayed in erotic literature as well as pornographic movies and pictures. This term is often referred to by its acronym, CFNM, in the BDSM scene. You don’t have to be deep into the BDSM scene nor do you have to be an experienced dominatrix to introduce clothed female, naked male scenarios in the bedroom.