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please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

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it turns out that field mice, due to their complex social organization, really enjoy conceptualizing alternative identities. the tabletop voleplaying game

If mustelids could write, they'd write books about their own lives and experiences. They'd write otterbiographies.

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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okay

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If anyone wants to know what a leopard seal sounds like 🦷🩸

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You may think it cruel but when a white witch pisses me off I go through her etsy listings for native bird feathers and forward it to fish and wildlife services

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you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄

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ten years of obergefell today

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this ad I got um???

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me: So then we take the liquified wood pulp, and dry it again, into these thin sheets. caveman: [confused, but trying to keep up] uh huh. me: And we take the graphite stick - it doesn't need to be wrapped in wood like this, but we like making them this way so you don't get graphite on your hands. And that's what we draw with. caveman: [eyes lighting up] Oohhh so you use the wood pulp sheets to paint on them, like hides? me: Exactly! And now, you could use this method to draw anything you can visualise with your mind's eye, but for the sake of this demonstration, let's draw a vision of a woman with features of an animal whose powers and traits she represents, and a figure that is stylised and exaggerated beyond what nature really allows. caveman: As wide as she is tall, with tits to match? me: Exactly. caveman: This is the only sensible use of this technology.

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when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

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Even when I try to write about fascism I write about plants

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thesaurus.com save me