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oh boy is the fontaine archon quest going to have to do a lot to make me like fur/ina.

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I Will Tell this Story to the Sun Until You Remember that You are the Sun, Erin Slaughter

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Allison Argent was an awkward teenager who loved her friends, snuck out to go bowling, made dirty jokes, and went to all of Stiles and Scott’s lacrosse games with homemade signs. She left hearts with her messages and wanted to get better at photography and was inconsolable when she accidentally hit a dog with her car. THAT is who Gerard manipulated into being a child soldier. THAT is who the Argent family wanted to turn into a killer.

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one thing about me is that i am an absolute freak about collecting canon details, particularly when it comes to characterization. and I was thinking about how people portray bingqiu's sex life in a wide manner of ways, and on one hand I can't really blame people for it, since SQQ is notoriously unreliable as a narrator, especially when it comes to his own sex life. at the same time though, it got me curious: if you look past SQQ's biased perspective, what's actually going on in those sex scenes? what actions are they both taking, what do they seem to enjoy, who's initiating? so, I decided to do a close reading of their sex scenes + any extras alluding to their sex life! I'm putting Maigu Ridge aside because that's a whole other can of worms and I don't think it's fair to either of them to treat it as reflective of their normal sex life, plus Binghe doesn't consider it their first time anyway. but all scenes in the extras are free game!

being me, I of course made a spreadsheet, but it's hideous and only meant for note taking purposes, so I'm not going to share it. but I am going to write up my findings here! under the cut since it gets quite long, but here we go: bingqiu's canon sex life!

the first thing that stands out to me is that SQQ initiates more often than you'd think! even if he claims he's only having sex for Binghe's sake, he's often the one taking the first step. in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, he's the one who suggests "exploring together" after Bingge leaves, he's the one who take's Binghe's pants off, he's the one who initiates the first sexual act (attempting to jerk Binghe off). perhaps most famously, in the Deep Dream extra, he initiates pretty much every step of the process -- pulling Binghe down and kissing him, undressing Binghe and pulling his hand to his own chest, flipping Binghe over to straddle him. in the Honeymoon extra, he offers to grant Binghe one request (which leads to the binding cables suggestion)

perhaps connected to SQQ often being the one to initiate, Binghe is extremely cautious about pushing him past his boundaries, especially early on. he's very nervous during the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra because the memory of Maigu Ridge is still weighing on him heavily, and he watches SQQ's expressions very closely to make sure he's feeling good. the one time he's not watching his face in that extra is when he's pushing in, at which point he checks in verbally to make sure SQQ feels okay -- when he looks up and realizes SQQ was lying and is in pain, he's absolutely distraught and immediately tries to pull out. making sure SQQ feels good is extremely important to him, he doesn't want him to be in pain or doing something he doesn't want to do. in the Deep Dream extra, he's holding himself back and behaving cautiously because he doesn't want to push him too far, and it isn't until SQQ explicitly expresses his desire that he says he might not be able to control himself. in the RPF/ass wine chapter, he says he would never force SQQ to have sex, and when SQQ initially turns down his suggestion to try things out from the books, he's disappointed but doesn't push it. again, it says he's very cautious when they have sex. a quote from that extra that I think sums it up nicely is:

Luo Binghe had never made any requests of him when it came to these matters. Because of his lackluster skill, he was always cautious in the extreme, and he even somewhat capitulated to Shen Qingqiu. Now he had finally acquired some instructional materials and found a bit of self-confidence, hoping to try them out together, only for Shen Qingqiu to toss a basin of cold water over his head...

in general, he follows SQQ's instructions closely, and the only times he doesn't really listen to him are when it's the heat of the moment and SQQ is asking him to slow down. his number one rule for sex is that SQQ has to tell him if it hurts, no matter what, which shows how important it is to him that SQQ feels good. once their relationship progresses, it seems like he gets a little more confident about cajoling SQQ into sex -- he complains when SQQ turns him down about the binding cables, and he acts pitiful to convince him to let him lay down a white sheet on their wedding night -- but to me, that just seems like he's gotten better at knowing what SQQ likes. after all, SQQ straight up says in the questionnaire extra that what makes his heart race the most is when Binghe cries and begs for something!

on that note, SQQ is very weak to Binghe's tears and is especially obsessed with how cute he finds him. when Binghe is all bashful while SQQ takes off his pants in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, SQQ scratches under his chin because he thinks he's adorable. his heart melts every time Binghe cries, especially when what Binghe is whining for is something romantic. when Binghe says he doesn't want to turn out like Bingge, he cradles Binghe's head to his chest and pets his hair while comforting him

I've joked that SQQ needs to embrace the dom/sub potential in their relationship, but after doing this close reading, it's clear to me that he's already gentle domming Binghe and doesn't realize it. he frequently points out Binghe's obedience as one of his good traits, he likes it when Binghe cries and begs, his idea of how to best please Binghe is to praise him for improving. Binghe, similarly, really enjoys being the sub to SQQ's dom. he follows SQQ's instructions closely when he's giving him directions, he says what makes his heart race the most is when SQQ pats his head/gives him instructions/scolds him/hits him, when he's told about S&M he bashfully says he'd enjoy anything SQQ did to him. clearly, this is a dynamic they both enjoy, they just haven't put words to it

I'd say they need to be taught about the idea of a service top/dom bottom, but even that doesn't capture the full picture because those top/bottom roles aren't set in stone! we all know about Binghe offering to bottom and SQQ turning him down, but on my close reread, it became more clear to me that SQQ is not entirely opposed to the idea -- he just didn't want their first real time to involve him topping. he's moved by the suggestion because he knows it's motivated by Binghe's desire to not hurt him, and he notes that there will be other opportunities in the future, meaning he's not completely ruling the idea out! in the Questionnaire extra, when SQH asks how they decided who tops, SQQ genuinely has to think about it for a second and then says it just kind of happened and it was because Binghe looked pitiful. so he could definitely be persuaded to top! Binghe probably just needs to exploit those tears, and SQQ will fold immediately lol

those are the broad themes in their sex scenes, but here's a few more assorted details about their habits in sex in case anyone wants to throw these in their fics for flavor:

Binghe loves having his mouth on SQQ <3 yes that means (bad) kissing, but also lots of licking and biting. he licks his throat, bites his nipples, kisses and bites his earlobes, bites his shoulder, kisses his eyelashes and cheeks. he wants his mouth on whatever inch of skin he can get to lol

SQQ also really likes kissing him! he complains that Binghe doesn't know how to kiss, but frequently he kisses all over Binghe's face -- he kisses away his tears on his eyes and cheeks, and he kisses all over Binghe's face when he's overwhelmed in the Wedding extra. actually, I want to include that quote because SQQ is never allowed to act like he doesn't enjoy sex with his husband ever again:

Their limbs were intertwined, both of them sticky with hot sweat. Luo Binghe's waist and back shone with moisture, and Shen Qingqiu nearly couldn't hold on with his legs alone, so he hooked his arms around Luo Binghe's neck to stop himself from sliding down. This drew them even closer, until the space between them was practically nonexistent, and he left a smattering of passionate kisses on Luo Binghe's face in encouragement.

as seen in this quote and other scenes, when SQQ is overwhelmed his impulse is to cling to Binghe, usually by clinging to him with all his limbs like a koala but sometimes by just grabbing his arm or grabbing his hair. he complains when Binghe says he wants to be deeper in the ass wine chapter, but clearly he also wants to be as close as possible!

despite SQQ's requests to do it from behind, they both prefer face to face (SQQ asks to turn around in the ass wine chapter) and their favorite position seems to be SQQ straddling Binghe's lap. in fact, that's often the position SQQ puts himself in when taking charge! when Binghe tries to pull out in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, SQQ flips them over and sits on him, which is also the position they end up in when he's taking the lead in the Deep Dream extra. they also end up like this in the Wedding extra!

this seems to be the position that's the most pleasurable for SQQ, since that's the point when he starts feeling really good in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra and in the Wedding extra. their sex does frequently hurt at first due to Binghe's size, but in these two scenes he ends up described as "drunk on lust" and crying out in pleasure, so he's definitely enjoying himself more than he lets on! he's also feeling really good in the ass wine extra.

Binghe does, in fact, know what lube and prep is. he sticks his fingers in SQQ's mouth in the Wedding extra to lube them up, which isn't the most effective method, but in the Bingge vs. Bingmei extra, his fingers are mysteriously lubed up when he starts fingering SQQ. this wasn't something SQQ thought of! Binghe seems to know more about safe sex practices than SQQ lol

Binghe is not the only one crying during sex. while his tears are usually either crocodile tears or due to intense emotions, SQQ is also often crying due to pain or being overwhelmed

SQQ often tries to bite back any noises, and Binghe extremely pleased whenever he gets SQQ to the point of being actually vocal

those are all my relevant notes! do with this knowledge as you will. obviously people can do whatever the hell they like, but if you're like me and a freak about getting canon details as accurate as possible, this is the closest summary I could make of what bingqiu's sex life is like, separated from SQQ's biased narration!

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I just read Elric of Melniboné and I have to say Elric is so incredibly sad and wet the whole book and I love that. He’s the emperor of a dying race of dark elves and he’s the only one who has developed morals or self awareness. He hates himself for feeling guilt about all his horrible actions. If I didn’t know when this was written I’d assume they were cooking him in a lab for blorbo material. It’s the weird feeling where you experience the pioneer of a genre/trope and it is that good.

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When it comes to shipping Diluc and Kaeya, personally I think both the "they're brothers so you can't ship them" and the "they're not actually brothers so it's fine to ship them" people are equally insufferable. I think it's MUCH more interesting when they're stuck in a schrodinger's cat situation where they're both brothers and not-brothers at the same time and they're kind of fucked up about it.

Because they are brothers, they grew up together and they know each other better than anyone else. No matter how much time passes they still know each other better than anyone else.

... and at the same time they're strangers, there's three years of grief and loss between them and how do you come back from that? When the people you loved aren't who you thought at all and all you can do is look at the stranger who fits a space that's far too familiar.

Do you go back to the familiar space or do you try to build something new?

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*pulls away from the kiss and looks away bashfully* i-i'm sorry but.. i don't like it when your giant blood spider watches us make out

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Elric "hollow fingers" of Melnibone

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just got out of mass here’s s medieval depiction of werewolves receiving Communion

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why do we even have legal genders anyway. maybe we should not have those

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Views on R. A. Salvatore as a writer

I see on occasion on reddit ‘RAS isnt a good writer’ with no other context.

I think that’s misplaced or way too harsh. They do need to read more novels that are ‘not good’ or some fantasy magazines where they run reader submissions and you will learn RAS is actually a good talented writer. He’s no Tolkien or Shakespeare but that doesn’t mean he’s ‘not good’.

His two biggest strengths are:

his action sequences are exciting to read. They are compelling to readers in the right way. You’d be amazed how many writers cant write an action sequence as exciting. Even his characters sad dramatic scenes make me very sad. It’s harder than you think to nail this emotional response.

his character building is fantastic. I am hooked on some characters and often i don’t care about the story i just want to read about them in it. How they react, how they develop, their fate etc so many ‘not good writers’ cannot write multi layered or emotionally complex characters as RAS does. You can also distinguish characters by how they act or talk they are all unique personalities. Writers who are not good tend to write bland or same character where its hard to really describe them. I an more engaged in their story even the antagonistic ones in his books.

For me, RAS has been hit or miss in some plot lines. But when he bold or tries something new its good. Especially if it about character development like Entreri’s story and backstory. Or Drizzt being challenged philosophically. Or the sad consequences to a dead characters revival. I will say some books that dragged or took time to get running, for me, were mostly in the earlier books. I find it strange people say the later books are not his best because this is where he’s improved a lot (less miss or less drag) and where in some parts re-visited the past plots and then wrote much better versions. His strengths with characters and action gotten better too.

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I'm not surprised there isn't any Deudermont/Robillard fics but my god are they gay.

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God though... the way gort says "we are brilliant" if durge says that the cult of the absolute plan sounds brilliant... istg bhaal should give durge some kind of prize for not just immediately jumping on him right then & there

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horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

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the thing about being nonbinary is that you really do start to forget that other people have such strict walls around what is and isn’t allowed for genders. i thought we all agreed that we made that up. could you climb out of the cave real quick and feel the sunshine for a minute.

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I think the hottest part of Bingjiu is that Shen Jiu hand-molded Bingge into the monster that would destroy him.