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25.01.2022

“I am so afraid of disappointing the people I love, I often forget that I am someone I love too. And I need kindness just as much as I believe the people I love do.” -Nikita Gill

Coming home to nostalgia and childhood friends, entering a new year and trying to find beauty in small things.

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Mabon Dreams

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I appreciate those people who are just genuinely nice. Like their mindset is instead of making others miserable, they give people tools to better themselves because why not. Thanks for putting that good energy out into the universe.

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growing up a girl letting people do things to you for years and years and years means your anger will turn biblical. anger that is incoherent unidentifiable inconsolable

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the feminine urge to mourn lost cultures and empires. for your heart to ache every time you remember how many languages no longer have speakers, how many ruins are abandoned, how many people lived happy lives before you. to feel melancholy and longing every time you study history - of this world or another, even fictional. to want to play a role in history, but in the same time fear dying, passing, being forgotten like those thousands before you.

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There are two things, to be and to do. Don’t think too much about to do—to be is first. To be peace. To be joy. To be happiness. And then to do joy, to do happiness—on the basis of being. — Thich Nhat Hanh

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if you think about it there's no real reason for smith to be a more common surname than another standard job like cook. except that smiths fucked more. all those smiths in their forges with their big muscular arms all covered in sweat. i bet the medieval women were gagging for it.

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Week 10 pt 2 / 2021

Wishing I could study in cafés more but it doesn’t fit into the student budget that well

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14.1.2021 | thursday

started a bunch of new courses this week and i’ve been pretty busy. this spring will truly be a lot of work but i’m trying to take it one day at a time. i always start stressing about the entire semester in the first week as if i’m supposed to do all the work right there and then. i need to remind myself that i have time. 

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Obviously there are many things to dislike about adulthood but as someone who grew up in an abusive household for whom adulthood offered the only chance at an escape, it's incredibly important to me that i romanticize adulthood whenever possible because i know there are kids and teenagers like me out there who are seeing nothing but complaints about rent and taxes and the loneliness of living on your own and i know they're going to internalize all of that and assume it means that adulthood won't offer them the freedom and safety they've been dreaming of. So while i never want to minimize the difficulties of being an adult, i also want to highlight how incredibly nice it can be to finally have ownership of your life and your body and your time and money and food and everything else in a way that you never had before. You can choose when you wake up! You can choose what you have for breakfast! You can choose when to go to sleep or if you want to (inadvisably) stay up all night watching tv in the living room! In the living room! You can choose what to watch! These are little things, but they are worth taking pleasure in, and they are worth looking forward to.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq26fnolIHo/

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“If you look back only at your mistakes, you’d think you were an idiot. If you look back only at your wiser choices, you’d think you were infallible. But if you look back on everything, you realize you’re a human being who has been through a lot, grown a lot, is always still learning, and improving as time goes by.”

— Doe Zantamata (via resqectable)

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Thinking about the countless times art and music and cinema and literature have saved and comforted me during difficult times i really owe my happiness to everyone dedicated to their craft

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“You will never change you life until you change something you do daily. The secret of you success is found in your daily routine.”

— John C. Maxwell

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quarantine buddy + coffee shop vibe i tried to recreate on my room bc i miss going out so much

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صبر

"So endure patiently, with a beautiful patience."