projectalimony

[projectalimony]

Art is therapy - Angry Black Woman Art Series 9.11.13 Check No. 1  Oil Pastel, Watercolor, India Ink

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It may not be as easy as one may think to just vacate a domestic violence situation when it is what you've known for so long.

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When Susan Harris divorced her husband of five and a half years last December, she got the apartment, extra closet space and the covers all to herself.

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This story is so horrific that your first reaction may be that this isn't possible in the United States. In fact, it sounds like just the sort of thing that would happen in a primitive dung heap like Pakistan as opposed to California. Yet and still.... A...

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The State of New Jersey hates women. Any state that who's courts would uphold laws that support alimony support to abusive ex-husbands has a strong dislike for the well being and the rights of women. I wonder if Governor Chris Christie and Mayor Cory Booker cares about these issues and women like me? I wonder if me hashtagging this post #savethejerseyshore will get his attention?

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Should we be quiet? Abusive Husbands Awarded Alimony in the State of New Jersey

I think society wants "us" to be quiet. Abuse is a difficult conversation. So complex, and it happens more often than you would think. In my case, I allowed it to go on far too long.

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In an effort to "protect" our Black men from further vilification, many women in abusive marriages let the abuse go on unreported. I regret that decision now. I would have had proof to stand on in court. Don't protect your abuser. #reporttheabuse

Project Alimony Founder

[projectalimony]

My ex husband wanted the fact that he was being awarded alimony to be kept secret. I WILL talk about this, and the injustice about having to pay my abusive ex spouse alimony EVERY opportunity I have. He should be shamed publicly. I silently suffered for 9 years of marriage. Silence no more.

Project Alimony Founder

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I suffered verbal & emotional abuse and intimidation for years. @njcourts now make me pay my tormentor. #alimony

ProjectAlimony Founder

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Here is the deduction of the first of 36 checks I have to write to my former abusive ex husband.

[projectalimony]

End awards of alimony to abusive spouses in New Jersey.

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Did you know that the state of nj courts ourder divorcees to pay their abusive ex-spouses alimony? And there's nothing she can do about it. I plan to bring attention to this.

[projectalimony]

Reasons Women Stay

There are many reasons a woman would stay in an abusive relationship. Among them: reinforcement during the honeymoon stage after being beaten, loss of self-esteem, women feel they are the peacekeepers in a relationship, adverse financial consequences, threats from the batterer to kill self or children, learned helplessness.

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For years, I endured emotional, verbal and am incident of physical abuse at the hands of the man whom I now must pay alimony. I was too afraid to leave, and once I reached the point of no return, and the relationship was over I'd never imagine the state of NJ Courts would award my tormentor alimony.

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The irony. This is the "payment coupon" that the paying ex-spouse (me) has to complete to submit payment to the New Jersey state agency that regulates the Alimony payments. So for the next three years, My ex-husband is considered as my "child". That's bat crap crazy. The other ironic fact is that my father still owes my mother several thousands of dollars in back child support that was never paid. He managed to live "under the radar" and never was forced to pay. Seeing my mother work twice and three times as hard as everyone else to make sure had the basics, is what motivated me to be clear on my goals in life, and never depend on anyone to support you. Heck, if you can't depend on your father, you best to get to charting your plan for the future. And here I am, financing an able bodied man. A shame. 

Mother's raise your sons to be accountable to society and responsible men. They shouldn't rely on another person or woman to support them. 

[projectalimony]

And so it begins. Three years of alimony to an ex- husband who violated the marriage vows of fidelity. I'll be posting each check and telling the story of what I endured the duration of the marriage.

[projectalimony]

Stop Alimony Awards to Abusive Ex Husbands in the State of New Jersey.