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so it’s ... been a while. i’ve been busy with college and working to get into the super competitive school of music within it, along with trying to stay afloat in terms of grades and mental health as of late, but as i’ve settled in and it’s been roughly a month, i feel a lot more comfortable with myself adding things to do on.

that being said, i’m putting julia on hold for a while, possibly until december. i’ve changed around blogs way too many times for her and haven’t truly been satisfied with any aesthetic or content i put out, so i want the chance to work back on a smaller scale and improve on my characterization and writing for a while alongside a bit more independent research on the era to really cement her into place. despite the era being my strongest suit in terms of history, i feel like there’s always more to learn.

i get really bad anxiety writing for julia, which really shouldn’t happen in the first place, but i really love the mutuals that i have here & really don’t want to disappear into nothingness. the b.way rpc is,, really intimidating. writing julia is really intimidating.

so, while julia is on pause for at least another week or two, or maybe a month, while i settle down and get my head together (& watch the show again), i’ve made a new blog for another character i really love; jennifer from b.t.t.f. !!  

you can find me on jennifer - @traveldtime - or message me for my personal blog !!  my d.iscord is bee’s knees. 🍒#6961 for faster response times.

i’m going to be back on this blog writing for julia at some point in the near future, promise !!  i adore her and writing for her and i want nothing more than to continue once i feel well enough to. hopefully, i’ll muster up the courage to get back to julia and keep up jennifer as well. this show is a really important one for me, and i really want to do it justice ... and improve its haphazard mistakes.

i love you all very, very much, and i have dearly missed the communication. maybe we can catch up soon, yeah?

all the best,

(n)ellie <3

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misc prompts for your feels

“ unique just means alone. ” “ i’m not afraid to die, just wish i could live a little first. ” “ i know i’m a monster, but you look at me like i’m a man. ” “ there’s nothing i wouldn’t do to keep you safe. ” “ we all have sins to pay penance for. ” “ don’t look at me like i’m a hero. you’ll only disappoint yourself. ” “ sometimes when you look at me it’s like…it’s like you’re staring straight past my flesh and into my soul. ” “ you make me want to live. ” “ i know i don’t deserve forgiveness, but i like the idea that some people think i might. ” “ i trust you with my life. ” “ you’re more like family to me than my own blood. ” “ i’ve never had any sort of family before. ” “ your life is far more precious than mine. ” “ i don’t care what happens to me. as long as you’re safe. ” “ i need you to live…cause if you’re gone then, i don’t know what the point of it all is anymore. ” “ i know i’m not the person you want, but i’m here. ” “ i love you, and i know you may never feel the same. but i’m okay with that. ” “ i couldn’t say no to you even if i wanted to. ” “ you’re worth more than this. ” “ why do you walk around as if you’re somehow less valuable than the rest of the world? ” “ please, let me help you. ” “ just let me do this for you. ” “ you do have something to live for. you have me. ” “ you’ll always have me. ” “ i see you. i know you feel so invisible all the time, but you’re not. not to me. ” “ it’s okay to be angry, you’re allowed to be upset about what happened to you. ” “ don’t you realize you deserve more than this? ” “ you’re not a machine or— or some thing. you’re a person, and i’m sorry anyone ever made you feel otherwise. ” “ please, just hold on a little longer. i can’t lose you too. ” “ this scar..what happened? ” “ if you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for me. ” “ you’re bleeding— how long have you been hiding this?! ” “ sometimes i realize one day i could die, i could just disappear and the world would be none the wiser. there’d be no one to miss me and that terrifies me more than death itself. ”  “ i’m not sure i know who i’m supposed to be anymore. ” “ my mind is so loud and i’m afraid it’ll never be quiet again. ” “ when i’m in a crowd i just want to melt away and yet, when i’m alone it’s somehow worse. ” “ loneliness is a poison and i’ve been drinking it for so long, i don’t there there’s an anecdote to save my soul. ” “ i don’t care if the world knows my name, i just want you to remember me. ” “ you deserve more than i could ever give you. ” “ i love you. i know that’s not enough, but i do. ” “ you’re safe with me, you always will be. ” “ you make me feel safe. like i’m allowed to be anything i want. ” “ i’d do anything to be the person you love again. ” “ i’ve got you, you’re safe. ” “ just rest, i’m here. ” “ you can stay with me tonight. ”

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—   𝐢𝐭'𝐬  𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭  𝐚  𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲  𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞  𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐦  .  established  october  of  2019  .

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so  as  it  turns  out  ,  i’ve  been  diagnosed  with  really  bad  anxiety  for  a  whole  year  &  my  doctor  just  ,  didn’t  inform  me  that  a  formal  diagnosis  was  made  .

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PIANISTPLAYED.

“  come  on  , jules.  , it’s  not  that  bad  of  an  idea.  just  try  it ,  ”

        she’s  skeptical  at  best  ,  putting  little  faith  into  his  confidence  .       ❛    those  ought  to  be  among  the  list  of  famous  last  words  ,    ❜        she  responds  .  the  corners  of  her  lips  lift  in  humor  at  his  insistence   ━━━   he’d  never  been  the  sort  to  give  up  a  fight  .

      ❛    alright  ,    ❜        julia  concedes  ,  though  she  still  believes  the  idea  at  its  core  is  his  worst  one  yet  .       ❛    but  only  if  you  give  me  an  accordion  performance  .    ❜

❛    that  must  be  the  worst  idea  you’ve  had  all  week  .    ❜         @pianistplayed​   ,   sc   .

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❛    that  must  be  the  worst  idea  you’ve  had  all  week  .    ❜         @pianistplayed​   ,   sc   .

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like   this   for  a  one  to  two  line  starter  ,  just  to  get  back  into  the  swing  of  things  .

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TEXTING MEME ⟶ WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE TWEETS ( 2013 / part two ) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

[ text ] –– the bee pit is closed for renovations.

[ text ] –– if you could only see the world as it really is! it’s beautiful and on fire and awful.

[ text ] –– don’t forget there’s a BIG GAME this weekend. no one’s sure what the game involves, but there will be consequences.

[ text ] –– let’s pretend this never happened.

[ text ] –– the hideous screaming coming from inside your walls is technically a haiku.

[ text ] –– when you die, try to rot quickly. the cemetery trees look underfed.

[ text ] –– centuries ago, scientists learned the sun doesn’t revolve around the earth. the sun, they proved, is just a blind god wandering in circles.

[ text ] –– the stars don’t mean anything. they’re just being ironic.

[ text ] –– measure a man by his actions. then measure him by each of his limbs, weighed separately, refrigerated, blood drained.

[ text ] –– most owls are staying in the forest to plot important things. the superb one speaks of mice and alchemy and prophetic dreaming.

[ text ] –– no one is talking about mountains. why is no one talking about mountains? secretive mountains control the media, that’s why.

[ text ] –– a bird in the hand is worth a plastic bag full of miscellaneous animal hearts.

[ text ] –– should crippling fear of life be taught in schools?

[ text ] –– the sky is a conspiracy.

[ text ] –– when life hands you lemons, use them to cover the smell coming from the floorboards.

[ text ] –– turns out the screaming in your home is just a ghost child who’s haunting the house that cursed her soul.

[ text ] –– the optimist sees a glass that is half-full. the pessimist sees a rotting deer.

[ text ] –– listen to your heart. just hold it up to your ear and listen. it should sound like chili being stirred.

[ text ] –– unearthing a time capsule dated 1913 that contains the bones of a six-armed man, two ukranian hymnals, and an eight inch statuette of a honeybee.

[ text ] –– are other people even real? probably not.

[ text ] –– there are painful consequences for kindness.

[ text ] –– missed connection: you were a bird, so was I. we lived centuries apart and time is weird.

[ text ] –– the post office doesn’t exist, mail is not a thing. communication is fake.

[ text ] –– hey girl you must be tired because you’ve been running all night from that basilisk.

[ text ] –– let’s stare at the sky until we forget who we are.

[ text ] –– passengers on the left have a nice view of themselves dying, on the right you can see mountains or something.

[ text ] –– filled with blood? got bones all inside you? covered in skin? we can help.

[ text ] –– the long debate over whether or not skin is necessary is finally over.

[ text ] –– i’d like to thank the eyeless deer that silently stalk my dreams for believing in me.

[ text ] –– smdh if you don’t grow oak trees from your chest.

[ text ] –– I like my coffee like I like my nights: dark, endless, impossible to sleep through.

[ text ] –– life is like a box of lonely, terrifying, painful chocolate.

[ text ] –– keep some bees in your chest cavity, just in case.

[ text ] –– the bees are dying because they never learned how to love.

[ text ] –– enthralled by the moon? staring at a lot of clouds and flowers? you may be entitled to compensation.

[ text ] –– do you want to know a secret? me too. let me know if you find out any.

[ text ] –– if we’re both unmarried at 35, let’s agree to become trees.

[ text ] –– thankfully, mathematics cannot be proven.

[ text ] –– don’t let numbers tell you what to do. you are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.

[ text ] –– the human soul weight 21 grams. it’s a dense lump of grey clay wrapped in a cloth and buried beneath an unfound tree.

[ text ] –– foxes are built like nesting dolls.

[ text ] –– if you love something, set it free. if it returns to burrow into your chest and die, it’s meant to be.

[ text ] –– love ain’t nothing but a number.

[ text ] –– things that hurt: knives, lightning, breathing, reading, talking, looking at the moon, paraphrasing, and recycling.

[ text ] –– anything is possible if you believe in yourself and only in yourself and don’t care about what’s real.

[ text ] –– it’s fine if you believe in thermodynamic laws, but you don’t need to force everyone else to believe it.

[ text ] –– here’s a creepy thought.

[ text ] –– an ouija board, but instead of letters and numbers, pictures of cats.

[ text ] –– it is not only illegal, but physically dangerous to answer a rhetorical question.

[ text ] –– somewhere in every mirror is a faceless old woman standing very still.

[ text ] –– you’ll sleep when you’re dead.

[ text ] –– a name is a lie that keeps you from thinking you might be more than one single being.

[ text ] –– it takes more muscles to shriek in terror than to smile.

[ text ] –– loss is an illusion. you’ve never actually had anything.

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reminder that this blog, while not politically focused, supports BLM. bootlickers and racists aren’t welcome here, and never will be.

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guess  who’s  back  !!  (  &  a  high  school  graduate  !!  )

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SUSPICION dir. ALFRED HITCHCOCK 

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wanted: someone who will put flowers in my hair

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a bunch of ( mostly cheesy ) sinatra lines from various songs .

that sly come hither stare that strips my conscience bare ,  it’s witchcraft .

there’s no nicer witch than you .

in other words ,  hold my hand .

in other words ,  baby ,  kiss me .

you are all i long for .

please be true .

i love you .

i’ve got you under my skin .

i tried so ,  not to give in .

i’d sacrifice anything ,  come what might ,  for the sake of having you near .

you can never win .

use your mentality .

just the thought of you makes me stop before i begin .

i will feel a glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight .

you’re lovely ,  with your smile so warm .

with each word your tenderness grows .

lovely ,  never ,  never change .

keep that breathless charm .

i’ve got the world on a string .

what a world .

what a life .

lucky me .

life is a beautiful thing .

man ,  this is the life .

i get a kick out of you .

you obviously don’t adore me .

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.   *    𝗇𝗈𝗍  𝖺  𝗀𝗂𝗋𝗅  𝗂𝗇  𝗍𝗁𝖾  𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗲  𝘄𝗶𝗱𝗲  𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱  𝖺𝗌  𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗎𝗍𝗂𝖿𝗎𝗅  𝖺𝗌  𝐣𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚  .   —   tag  drop  !!