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stop earning advanced degrees i need you to finish your fanfiction

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(Seeing a cis straight couple for the first time) I think I’m gonna be sick… What the fuck do you even call this…? Dark Yuri? Unfaggot? Do they have a fucking word for this? (Flashing back to my troubled childhood) Oh my god… This is that Marge and Homer shit isn’t it

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Join me on my journey to finally unbalance my hormones, toxify my body, boost my inflammation, maximize my cortisol and absolutely destroy my gut health.

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Here's a fun story of malicious compliance to brighten your day:

Until recently, a few people in my office had these desk shades to combat the obnoxious fluorescent lights, which is very helpful for people (like me) with migraines or other light-sensitivity issues.

A few days ago, everyone who has them was told to take them down. Different people were given different reasons - It violates fire code (it doesn't) / It blocks line of sight (sort of?). Since this goes against the existing status quo, the union reps (my beloved) jumped on it. Someone jokingly suggested using umbrella hats instead, since hats are allowed in the dress code. Today, the union reps are passing out these ridiculous things in protest:

If the rules are absurd, the resistance should match.

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I know her ass was constantly getting carded for fouling the other team’s offence

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oh those hikers are DEAD dead bro

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Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

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STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

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Armand 🤝 Pandora

Breaking and entering.

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I was a 70s Devil’s Minion truther before I came to Tumblr. I came to it somewhat organically because of “it’s just his were better” (and being a book girlie) but EVERY DAY every GODDAMN day someone on this site brings up another incredible piece of evidence for 70s DM, that I had never heard before. The purple shirt? Hell yeah. Armand is Alice? Let’s go. The BLUE SKY and the LAMPS in Daniel’s apartment? YOU’RE KIDDING. The puzzle and the mural? My mind is BLOWN. Anyway, pls continue to share all your Devil’s Minions show theories they give my life meaning xoxo

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Interview with the Vampire 2.03 // 2.04

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Gif sets are SO important to me. Yes, please take this scene and break it up into 4 or 6 three second loops that I can study over and over to appreciate the small details of it

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Parisian Fashion

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the fact that iwtv on amc managed to create an incredible compelling character such as louis out of the husk of a soul that was presented in the books is honestly amazing. tv show louis is my best friend. book louis watches paint dry for fun and i would hit him with a car.

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Wish I could sleep in a coffin beds are a sensory nightmare

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Idk how to do fancy gifs or anything but do you see the vision?

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What i’m hoping for in season three;

A reprise of the scene when daniel was going “did you eat the baby” again and again but instead of ‘did you eat the baby’ it’s “did you fuck your mother”