pumpkintoad

[pumpkintoad]

Masterlist

Last Updated: 07/29/25

Hellooo! Welcome to my little blog! I’m new to writing (and sensitive loool) so please do be kind! I don’t post regularly, but I do pour my heart into each of my works, so please enjoy!! 💋

Blue Lock

TBA..

Wind Breaker

🍵 Kaji Ren

“prettier”

“never again”

🍵Kusumi Yūto

“softer”

[pumpkintoad]

”softer”

Pairing: Kusumi Yūto x Reader

Warning: none!

Word count: ~2k

A/n: I was reading Kusumi's character profile and I related to the hair struggle so hard... I know there's not much out there for him, so I wanted to share the love! <3

Summary: Kusumi asks you for help taming his unruly hair, and how could you let such a sweetie struggle?

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧

When Kusumi first saw you, he was at the drugstore in the hair care aisle. The stale overhead light and it’s obnoxious buzzing only overwhelmed him further as he scoured the shampoo, desperate to find something, anything, to tame his unruly hair. 

You rounded the aisle’s corner, quickly scanning the line of products. You had a small basket nestled in the crook of your elbow, weight shifting to one hip.

His eyes widened slightly at the sight of you. The light seemed to cascade off your hair. Your strands looked soft and smooth, nothing like the frizzy, life-devoid state of his own.  

You were mid-sniff of the new cherry scent of your favorite conditioner when you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder. 

You twirled around to face the gentleman. You noticed he was around your age and a bit taller than you, eyes covered by his bowl-shaped cut. He wore a loose-knit turtleneck with wide pants and a slouchy beanie. You cast your gaze slightly lower to the phone screen that he had pointed to you. 

Hi! I’m so sorry to bother you, but your hair is just beautiful! I’ve tried like every shampoo here, but nothing seems to help. The humidity makes it stick out all crazy… I hate it. Do you have any recommendations? 

You lifted your gaze back up to the boy’s eyes - well, hair, before a gentle smile graced your lips.

You felt your chest tighten slightly. You knew exactly how he felt- the envy, confusion, embarrassment. The need to hide beneath hats and hoodies because your hair just wouldn’t be normal. 

Comparison is the thief of joy, they say. Growing up, you frequented this exact store, grabbing whatever your sister or friends used to try to make your hair look like theirs. You tried a hair straightener, bleach, an at-home perm kit. The more you attempted to make it better, the more damage you caused, and the more insecure you grew. 

It wasn’t until you learned that your journey is your own that your confidence grew. Late nights were spent researching, reading, and studying. You learned about different hair types, porosity, keratin, and the effects of heat damage. You learned what your hair was begging you for. It wasn’t conformity. It was health. 

“I’ve been there,” you giggled softly, “the key is to focus on the health, not the appearance.” 

You set your basket by your feet and faced the wall of product again, shifting your weight as you scanned the options. 

“Let’s see..” you mumbled, Kusumi breaking into a small smile at the way you slightly scrunched your nose as you fell deep into thought. 

You selected the products you thought would help him best- leave-in conditioner, anti-frizz shampoo, keratin-infused conditioner, and an argon oil hair mask.

“Here, since the humidity affects your hair so much, it’s probably trying to chase the water in the air.. If I had to guess, you probably have textured hair that needs a lot of hydration. These should help!”

You extended the products to him as he smiled back gratefully. 

He tucked the products between his chest and arm before his thumb rapidly flew across his phone screen again. 

Thank you so, so much. Is there a certain way I need to use these, or do I just put them all in and rinse them all out? 

“Would... would you want me to maybe show you? It’s kind of a long process to explain, it might be easier if I did it for you, kind of like a mini-spa treatment! Then if you like the results, you’ll know how to achieve them!”

He began typing on his phone again, as the absurdity of your offer hit you and the silence set your nerves on fire.

“I mean, if you want, sorry that was probably really weird since I’m a stranger- I just get a little excited about this stuff, and uh- you can say no! I-“

Your rambling was interrupted by the bright screen of his phone hovering in front of you once again, your eyes quickly scanning the text. 

I’d be eternally indebted to you. If you don’t mind, I’d love that. We could meet at my place if you want? I’m not far from here

A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you smiled and nodded your head. 

“I’m free tonight if you are! I’m finished shopping anyway.. just need to run home and put this stuff away.”

He momentarily flipped his phone back to himself, switching the screen to an open new contact before slipping the device into your hand. 

You quickly put your contact information in, sending a short text to your number before returning his phone to him. 

By the time you had finished, you noticed he had your little shopping basket in his hand, his new products scattered on top of yours. 

Once he slipped his phone into his back pocket, he placed a hand ever-so-lightly on your back and guided you to the checkout, scanning your items with his and paying. 

“Y-you didn’t have to do that,” you scolded as you exited the shop together, gratefully accepting the two bags full of your items.

He flipped his phone screen to you once more. 

I know. I just want to thank you however I can. Text me when you’re ready, and I’ll send you my address. ^u^” 

You nodded excitedly.

“Sounds great, I’ll see you soon!” You waved as your feet swiftly carried you to your apartment. 

At home, you placed your items in their respective places before sending a short text to inform him that you were ready to meet back up. Slipping back into your shoes, you typed his address into your app and sighed in relief when you noticed he was only a few minutes away.  

You arrived at his place and knocked on the door gently, shifting your weight from your toes to your heels, a mixture of excitement and nerves swirling in your stomach. Moments later, the door peeled open, revealing the same warm smile from the store.

“Hey” you greeted softly. 

He waved in response and stepped aside, letting you in. His apartment smelled of fresh rain and eucalyptus. It was calming, a welcoming atmosphere that slightly soothed the anxiety coursing through your veins. 

You spun on your heel after taking in your surroundings, offering him that same shy smile. 

“Shall we begin?”

In the bathroom, he sat in the bathtub clad in swim trunks and a fitted gray tank top. His elbows rested over his knees, eyes closed and head tilted back. You poured a pitcher of warm water over his hair, nimble fingers carefully working through his strands. The once ash brown hair now clung to his face and neck, the color of warm coffee. Your eyes drifted to his toned arms, the way stray water droplets trailed down each dip of muscle. 

Your train of thought was interrupted by Kusumi shooting forward, coughing and sputtering. Confusion shifted to embarrassment as you realized that you poured the water directly onto his face in your trance, nearly drowning the poor boy.

Heat erupted across your face as a flurry of apologies poured off your tongue. 

“I’m so, so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I- uhm. Was thinking about the next steps! I promise this is not some scheme to kill a stranger in his home-“

He pressed a single finger to your lips, a soft, amused chuckle escaping his own. He shook his head gently to avoid flinging water everywhere, before leaning back on his arms and tilting his head back once more. 

You cleared your throat before returning to your work, talking through each step and explaining what you were doing. You applied the shampoo, rinsed, conditioner, let it sit, and rinsed again. With each step, your fingers softly scratched his scalp, the relaxing sensation causing his lips to part slightly. 

“Alright, you can get out now!” You stood, taking a few steps back to make room for him. 

He pushed himself to his feet, wet strands dangling over his face. You guided him to the mirror where you moved behind him, a pillowy gray towel in hand.

He stood a few inches taller than you, just tall enough to block your frame from the mirror. If he could see your face hidden behind him, he would’ve seen the red hue budding beneath your skin as you gazed at the toned muscles of his back shifting where the water made his top cling to his skin. You shook your head to clear your thoughts, forcing yourself back to the task at hand.

Unbeknownst to you, he wasn’t faring much better. The intimacy of the situation was finally catching up to him. He wasn’t used to having anybody doting on him, much less a girl as pretty as you. The small puff of air that escaped your lips as you concentrated on patting his hair dry reached his neck, causing him to shudder, the light pink tinge of his skin becoming more aggressive. 

Deeming his hair dry enough, you placed the towel around his shoulders, shielding his skin from your view to prevent any more distractions. 

You unscrewed the lid of the leave-in conditioner, swiping the pads of your middle and index fingers through the thick product. You rubbed the cream between your hands before scrunching your fingers through his hair, carefully avoiding the roots. 

“Okay, all done!” You breathed out, hands settling on your hips, satisfied with your work.

“Now you just gotta let it air dry. I don’t want to cause any heat damage by using a hair dryer.” 

He nodded once, offering a confident thumbs-up in the mirror as he turned to face you again. You were gathering your things back into your tote bag, slipping your phone into your pocket.

“Well, I suppose I should be going home.”

Your heart felt heavy at the statement. It was nice being here. Despite having just met you quite enjoyed his company; it felt natural. Comforting. 

“I expect to hear about how it turns out once it’s dry, ‘kay? And be honest! If you don’t like it, let me know and I’ll find a new solution.”

The quiet boy nodded aggressively, a warm smile spreading across his face. He grabbed his phone from the bathroom sink and typed quickly.

Thank you. Seriously. You’re a lifesaver. Text me when you get home safe, please?

You nodded, lingering a moment longer. Your eyes traced his features with a proud smile.

“Talk to you soon!” You cheered, waving one last time from outside his apartment before you began the walk back to your place.

Finally back home, you dropped your bag on the small table beside the door, sliding your shoes off next to it. You opened your most recent contact and sent a quick text. 

Home safe! Gonna go curl up in bed and rot now >:)

You trotted to your bedroom and quickly changed into your favorite set of pajamas and fuzzy socks, before collapsing face-first onto your bed with a sigh. A dreamy smile warmed your features as you replayed the events of the day. 

A high-pitched ping pulled you out of your trance. You rolled onto your back, quickly unlocking your phone.

[image attached] It’s dry! I love it so much, it’s so much softer. Thank you.  I don’t know how I can ever repay you. Let’s go shopping again soon, yeah? My treat. :)

You stared at the picture longer than you should have, a stunned silence settling in your chest. The picture was taken from an angle just above eye-level. His hair was dry, slightly wavy, framing his face delicately. Now that his hair wasn’t so frizzy. It parted in several places across his forehead, revealing one of his eyes. 

It was a cozy, honeyed brown. The color of a childhood teddy bear, wrapped in comfort. 

You clutched your phone a little tighter, something wild fluttering in your stomach as you squealed, rolling around and kicking your feet into the air. A giggle escaped your lips, cheeks sore from smiling. 

Wow… you look so good.. I mean! It looks so good!  And, I'd love that :) Looking forward to it <3

[pumpkintoad]

YOU MADE ME MALLEABLE :

CHAPTER iii. RESIDUE.

SERIES M.LIST ᧔࿔᧓ MAIN M.LIST

CONTENT WARNINGS :: alcohol, party setting, suggestive language, religious references (satirical), emotional repression, avoidance, emotional distress, past breakup, unresolved tension, a kiss,

<- BACKWARDS | FORWARDS ->

“why is the fridge so empty, it’s like we don’t have a fucking billionaire living here.” you mutter, your voice was rough with sleep as you shoulder the fridge open and lean against it. the cold air seeps out in a wave, and you wince, rubbing your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie in an attempt to erase your fatigue. it was only 10am — not early by normal standards, but early for you.

reo doesn’t even look up from where hes perched on the kitchen stool, knee bouncing; phone glowing blue against his face. “it’s not even empty. you’re just picky.”

“maybe you think it’s empty because you stole my bottle of chamisul? did you ever think about that?”

you whip your head towards him, whiplash followed. “omg can you let that go??? also the fridge was NOT this empty when i took that bottle of chamisul.”

“stop trying to gaslight me.”

you tug the fridge door open again, staring blankly at the sad bottle of sauce, a lonely egg, and what might be a slice of cheese or a science experiment.

“are you projecting,” he says, brushing past you with a half eaten piece of toast hanging from his mouth and another one in his hand, seemingly for nagi.

you blink at him, offended, but only have the energy to respond with a “stop ragebaiting.” he shrugs and walks off.

chigiri’s curled up on one end of the couch with his legs folded under him, half watching something on the tv with the subtitles on. anri’s sitting on the floor with a mug, half engulfed in whatever is playing infront of her, face lit up by the glow of six different unread emails and a google doc.

“hyo” you call vaguely, dropping yourself on the couch next to him, “what time did we get home again? i lost consciousness at like 2, and now i can’t remember anything else” you say, glancing at the clock as if you knew how to read it. “i felt my soul leave. it looked like it was waving goodbye.”

“we didn’t even drink that much??” he answers, scooting your weight off of him. “actually, you didn’t. i did” you correct.

you stand back up to pick up reo’s plate of half eaten toast for youraelf while simultaneously leaving your phone behind on the counter, next to the leftover half of the chamisul bottle from last night. you forget about it, more focused on fighting for space on the couch next to chigiri — who kicks at your legs away but lets you stay regardless. karasu’s the last to wander in, stretching his arms above his head with a heavy yawn — he passes through the kitchen and squints at your phone on the counter, screen lighting up twice in a row.

he doesn’t mean to look, but the name catches his eye.

missed call (2): [ therapist (ignore) ]

he stares at the missed calls for a second too long but doesn’t say anything as it registers in his mind. he glances at you across the room as if maybe youll realise you don’t have your phone, but instead youre laughing at something on the screen. he just moves to the sink in dismissal, pours himself a glass of water and then walks over to join everyone. yet despite not having registered his surroundings considering only just waking up, he cant help but feel a tang of concern. it just sticks in his throat. he doesnt swallow it down, but he doesnt spit it out either.

nagi is still face down on the beanbag in the corner with a pillow over his head like a corpse… he hasn’t moved in hours. “can we check if hes alive im kinda scared” reo asks.

“mmmm nah,” you say, tossing the remote somewhere across the couch. “if he’s dead that’s between him and god.”

he flinches as if you’ve spoken a curse into reality,

“can you not say that” he cuts in; half joking, but it comes out too fast, as if he’s trying to swat the thought away before it settles. his laugh is light but his eyes flick toward the door, like he’s checking to make sure nothing actually happened. something small clenches in his jaw before he shakes it off.

the sun was filtering through the blinds, sharp and soft all at once. nothing felt urgent, yet. like the kind of morning that pretends everythings fine — the kind of morning where the mess stays quiet. and for now, it works.

Rin didn’t want to be at this silly party, undoubtedly. the bass was too loud, lights were too sharp, and the air tasted like someone’s second hand vape mixed with something synthetic and lemony. he was already regretting letting Igaguri convince him into attending, hourly voice notes from bachira didn’t sound so bad compared to this. yet he always had a way of running his mouth until Rin gave in just to shut him up… but now he was here, shoulders stiff and jaw clenched as people moved around him like static, all just a mixture of blur and noise.

He lost the others within ten minutes of entering. Bachira and Kurona ran off like excited kids, Shidou disappeared without warning, and Isagi probably got caught in a conversation he didn’t know how to walk away from. They all dissolved into the noise like they belonged here.

He stood still against the wall, hands in his pockets, the collar of his jacket pulled up as if it could shield him from any sort of unwanted conversation. He wasn’t sure how long he stood like that before a girl had appeared in front of him—she didn’t say hi immediately, just came to stand next to him, like she was making a point not to make it obvious. Her presence was easy. Not overwhelming. She smelt like something faintly floral, like she’d only sprayed it once before leaving and didn’t care if it lingered or not. She was pretty — he noticed that in the way you notice something and instantly feel guilty for noticing, but her voice came softer than the music.

“You look like you’d rather be anywhere else.” He blinked once, but didn’t turn fully. “I would.” She laughed as if she already knew the answer to what she asked. “me too” her gaze lingered on him, but not in the way that demanded anything. “are you not much of a party person?”

“nah, not much of a people person” Rin answered, there was the faintest flicker of amusement at the corner of his mouth, like even he knew how tired that line sounded “I like that” she said, bumping her shoulder lightly against the wall. “I think more people should admit that out loud.” He didn’t reply; he didn’t really feel the need to. yet the silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but Rin could feel it getting heavier, her body angled slightly toward him now. There was curiosity in her posture, not the pushy kind, but just open and waiting. But Rin wasn’t in the mood to be known. “I’m not really… up for talking tonight. If that’s okay” he muttered eventually, his voice was low but not rude, just honest.

She nodded in response, appreciative of his honesty. “That’s fine. I’ll leave you alone then.” Her smile was brief before she turned and slipped back into the room, weaving easily through the moving bodies. Rin watched her go, not because he wanted to follow, but because he felt strange for having spoken at all. “Hey, Rin!” Isagi’s voice came from nowhere, and Rin turned to find him standing behind him “Was that a girl I just saw talking to you?” His response was automatic and dismissive. “She just seemed nice.”

“Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow, gaze holding just long enough to make it clear he was waiting for Rin to keep going. “I’m not interested.”

Isagi deadpanned. “Bruh. You know at some point you have to stop acting like you’re still living in the ghost of that relationship. It’s been three years man.” Rin looked at him with a cold, but not annoyed expression. It was sudden, he didn’t expect isagi to bring you up, and so his reaction turned sudden and stoic.

“…Oookay. nevermind…” Isagi muttered, already walking away with his drink in hand, bumping into multiple people on the way.

Rin stayed where he was, staring into the dark corner of the room hoping it would tell him something he didn’t already know, something to take his mind off of what isagi just said. He hadn’t thought about you in a while, not really... at least that’s what he told himself. but now he could see it — how fast his walls came up; how quickly he shut down anything that got too close. And that girl… she wasn’t even trying that hard. She’d just stood there. And he couldn’t even handle that.

When he glanced up again he saw her from across the room. she was laughing at something, tucked in between her and her friends, but when her eyes landed on him she didn’t look away. just kinda tilted her head and motioned for him to come over, fingers curling slowly like an unspoken offer. Yet he hesitated. not because he was nervous, or because he didn’t want to. but because he didn’t know why he wanted to at all. Eventually he moved towards her, his legs took him before his head caught up.

She smiled when he reached her. “still not much of a talker?” He shrugged. “Maybe just picky.”

“Well then, lucky me.” she nudged her head toward the balcony. “It’s stuffy in here. do you want to come outside with me?”

The air outside hit him colder than he expected, biting through the warmth of the party as soon as the door shut behind them — the night felt softer out here, more bearable. she leaned on the railing, looking out at the street like it meant something.

“You have that look,” she said after a pause. “The one where your brain won’t shut up.” Rin looked at her sideways. “That obvious?”

“mmm.. a little.”

They didn’t talk about anything in particular. She asked if he believed in astrology and he said no. She said she didn’t either but liked pretending. They talked about the worst songs in the playlist inside, about how parties are always better in theory than in practice. Somewhere between sarcasm and honesty, Rin found himself answering more than he expected to, sometimes without thinking. She leaned close, not too close, just enough to let her voice settle between them. “You’re kinda awkward” she said, teasing but soft.

“I’m aware.”

“You’ve got a nice voice though. Even when you’re only using like three words at a time.” He didn’t really reply, but he looked at her, in a more analytical manner. Her lip gloss caught the streetlight, and he could see the outline of her mouth moving when she smiled.

“Do you mind if I kiss you?” she asked, not shy but not bold either. Just… curious?

And that’s when it hit him, not the question but the flood. Because the last time someone asked him that it had been you. You didn’t say it out loud, but it was in your eyes when you leaned in, in the way your hand had hovered over his cheek like you were waiting for permission. He remembered everything — the way your lips had fit against his, soft and warm and tasting faintly like something sweet. The way you’d kissed him like it meant something. Like it would always mean something.

He didn’t actually answer, not nod or even a slight movement, but he didn’t pull away either. She took that silence as something, stepped forward and kissed him. It was gentle yet unrushed, fingers barely brushing the side of his jaw. And he let it happen. But it felt like looking at a photograph through glass — he could see it, feel the motion of it, but he wasn’t really there. His body was? but everything else was somewhere else. Somewhere farther back. She pulled away slowly, eyes searching his. “Was that okay?” she murmured, almost playfully, though there was a small flicker of confusion in the way her smile didn’t fully reach her eyes. “You’re interesting, you know that?”

Rin didn’t know what to say. So he didn’t say anything, but by the end of it they exchanged numbers anyway, and spoke more. She complimented his dry humor, and he ended up laughing at one of her stories, a real laugh, enough for her to say, “You’ve got a nice smile.”

He looked away though, instead of saying anything. Thinking about how he hadn’t heard that since the last time you said it to him.

BEHIND THE SCENES 🎬 ::

Okay rin isn’t the type to just kiss a random girl, but he very clearly was’t thinking straight

he also for once thought about what isagi told him (maybe too much)

Karasu still doesn’t know what to do about you ignoring your therapist, he knows you’ve been struggling a lot but he doesn’t know why

anyways

nobody showed up to the shrine event btw and so igaguri’s parents gave him a spiritual punishment 😁😁😆😆😃😃

a/n :: rin wasn’t originally meant to kiss that girl but as i was writing i was like.. hmm… i want angst… and you will find out why later 😇 also ummm hi from my old samsung galaxy s15+ tablet 😁😁 i got home at 11pm again yesterday 🤗 I Just Want To Live My Life.

TAGLIST ; - 21/50

⤷ @s6rine @livteracts @pumpkintoad @howtfuspellgorjous @kiss-my-asscheeks @masterrbaiter @matchaveins @andysdrafts @kaalwanan @jellychee @peaktora @vinzcoke @tlissablr @soph1sticatedly @wrldstrr @kaz-0e @demiitria @mangofantaa @frootloopscos @sugacor3 @rani1028

[pumpkintoad]

”prettier”

Pairing: Kaji Ren x reader

Warning: none!

Word count: 1.6k

A/n: I definitely projected onto this with the food choices LOL. OJ + Banana is the best remedy!! It has to be from the gas station tho or it doesn’t work 🙂‍↕️ENJOY 🫶

Summary: Kaji walks drunk-you home after your night out, fluff ensues :) 

The crisp night air nipped at the skin where your skirt exposed your thighs. You stumbled down the sidewalk, one arm tugging Kaji’s uniform jacket tighter around your frame, the other tucked through his for support. 

His hands were stuffed in his jean pockets, having come to walk you home from a party. The streets were quiet, save for the rhythmic buzzing of cicadas and your drunken rambling. 

“And then- and then I ate the blueberry on the little toothpick thingy right? It was gonna be so juicy and refreshing but nooo. It. was. mushy!!” You pouted dramatically, gently shaking his arm for emphasis. “MUSH--“ you interrupted yourself with a shriek, jumping and shoving Kaji in front of you as a mysterious bug zipped by. 

His eyes widened slightly in surprise at your sudden reaction, a hint of pink creeping up his neck at the way you shoved your body into his back. He’d never admit it, but he liked how you always trusted him to keep you safe, whether it’s by keeping creeps away late at night, or being your shield against the critters of Mother Nature. 

“…it was just a bug” he sighed, continuing the walk towards your apartment. 

You jogged back to his side, sliding your arm around his again.

“Oh.. sorry. It sounded scary” you giggled in embarrassment. 

Your heart rate began to settle again as a comfortable silence settled around you two.

Familiar bright lights lit up the sidewalk ahead, your excitement boiling over.

“Ren! Look! Can we stop in? PLEEEAASSEEEE?? I’m so hungry..” you begged and pleaded, tugging at his arm and gesturing to the late-night corner store up ahead. 

He glanced at the store ahead, then shifted his gaze to you. He wasn’t sure if it was the way your face was flushed, the excitement radiating off of you, or the wide puppy dog eyes you were giving him. No matter how much he just wanted to see you home where he could ensure you’d be safe, he just couldn’t say no.

“Sure.”

You squealed in excitement, Kaji fighting back an amused smile. Your once sluggish steps sparked full of life as you tugged him along.  

The store bell jingled as you followed Kaji into the store, the smell of hot chocolate and stale cardboard boxes in the air. The cashier glanced over whatever he was reading to send a small wave, to which Kaji gave a curt nod. 

You bounced between aisles like a kid in a candy shop, stuffing your arms full with as many snacks as you could carry. Arms full and smile wide, you finally met back up with Kaji at the register, dumping the snacks on the counter. 

Your hands and gaze slipped to your purse as you rummaged for your wallet. After a few tries of pulling out random items like lipgloss and your phone, you finally pulled out your payment.

“-a great night you two.”

When you glanced back up, the cashier was handing Kaji a bag stuffed full of your treats and a receipt, him slipping his payment back into his pocket. 

You stood, dumbfounded as he took the bag in one hand and your wrist in the other, calmly leading you back outside.

“You didn’t have to do that!”

He looked back at you, rolling his eyes with pink ears. You smiled back at him, using your free hand to snag a chocolate bread and iced tea from the top of the bag. Hearing the crinkle of the bag, he released your wrist. You handed him the tea, plopping down on the cold cement on the side of the building. 

“Right now? You're gonna eat… here?”

The dumb smile plastered on your face as you open the wrapper answers his question for you. 

With a sigh, he crouched down next to you taking a sip of the drink you offered him with a smile so sweet it’d be cruel to refuse. 

Once you finished your sweet treat, you found your eyes drifting to the blonde beside you. You admired the way the neon blue and red lights of the corner store tinted his hair, framing him in a soft glow. His elbows rested on his knees, steely blue eyes fixed on the ground and framed by beautiful long lashes. His lips lifted ever so slightly as he looked at the drink you got him. Peach tea. His favorite.

You traced each of his features, branding this image into your brain, over your heart. He looked warm. Safe. 

Happy.

“You know.. in case nobody’s ever told you, you’re really, reeeaaally pretty.”

His eyes widened, gaze now locked onto you. You watched the way a red tint crept up his neck as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. He settled on sharply casting his gaze back to the ground with a grumble.

“….shut up.”

His aloof demeanor didn’t fool you as you let out a soft giggle. 

“..c’mon, let’s get you home.” he sighed, standing now with a hand outstretched to you. 

You gratefully accepted his hand as he pulled you to your feet with ease. He shifted his hand around yours to hold it properly. To your surprise and delight, as you two began the final stretch to your apartment, he didn’t let go. 

Once you finally arrived, Kaji used the key you gifted him many nights ago to open your door. After one-too-many late night patch-ups, you gave him a small, silver key. You told him that night that if he ever needed somebody, he was always welcome. That even if you weren’t home, he should wait for you here, and you’d come. 

After shutting the door, he stood still and firm as you leaned into him for support, sliding off your shoes. You had gotten much quieter by the time you arrived home. Your footsteps were slower, voice softer, eyes heavier. Your gentle feet padded through the apartment as you mumbled out a quick “mmm be right back” before sliding into the bathroom.

Teeth brushed and dress discarded, you stepped out in a large t-shirt that swallowed you whole. Your feet, now clad in your favorite pair of fuzzy socks, walked down the hallways and straight into Kaji’s chest. You wrapped your arms firmly around him.

“Thank you for getting me home.”

You felt his breath hitch in his chest as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around your smaller frame.

“Anytime” he mumbled into your hair.

He placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you to your bedroom, lifting the covers so you could slide in beneath them. Your eyes were heavy now, fighting to stay open. As soon as your head hit the pillow you whispered one last time, before your words dissipated into soft snores.

“g’night Rennie..”

“goodnight (y/n)” he whispered back, making sure you were securely tucked in.

He quietly left your room before returning with a bottle of water and a small container of painkillers for your nightstand.

 He looked at you one last time before he left your room for the night. His gaze softened at the way your hair splayed across your pillow. The slight flush on your cheeks from the lingering alcohol. The way your mouth rested in a gentle smile.

You were always like that, he thought. Always smiling.

 Even when he woke you up in the middle of the night littered with bruises and a busted lip. Even when you got caught in the rain on your walk home from school. Even when he lost control of his temper. 

Your smile never wavered. 

You woke up in the morning with a headache in the back of your head, throbbing to the bass of the last song you danced to. Your throat was dry, as if you hadn’t spent your night swallowing colorful and fruity liquids. 

You glanced to your side and saw a bottle of water and painkillers that you gratefully swiped and tossed down your throat. 

Having fully emptied the bottle, you laid back down and rolled to your side to pull your phone off of its charger. Looking at the screen felt like looking into the sun itself, scorching your eyes. You turned down the brightness, still squinting your eyes.  The first notification your eyes settled on were two unread texts from Kaji. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach and anxiety burned through your chest, fingers quickly swiping them open. 

I put away the snacks and locked up omw out.

Check the fridge. 

Your curiosity piqued at the second text. 

You didn’t buy anything from the cooler section at the corner store, and the cold water Kaji picked out for you last night was the same one from your nightstand this morning.

You slowly pushed yourself to your feet and made your way to the kitchen. 

You didn’t bother turning on the kitchen light, the natural light cascading in from the window above your sink sufficiently lighting your path.

Opening the fridge, you couldn’t stop the wide grin that spread across your face. Orange juice and a banana sit together in the middle, your go-to hangover breakfast. 

You know you didn’t have this combination on hand since you didn't go out drinking often. Somehow, Kaji must’ve picked it up at the corner store without you noticing you think.

Gratefully grabbing the fruit and juice, you noticed a peach colored piece of paper stuck to the fridge beneath them. A sticky note? You picked it up with your free hand, face burning at the two words scrawled in Kaji’s handwriting. 

you’re prettier.

[pumpkintoad]

”never again.”

Pairing: kaji ren x fem!reader

Warning: Violence, physical assault, attempted SA (threatened), choking, emotional trauma

Word count: 3.4k

Note from yours truly: this is the first thing I’ve written and shared and I’m NERVOUSSS pls pls be nice 😣 this took me a month to write between life responsibilities lol. Pls enjoy! 🫶

The overhead bells jingled as you stepped into cafè Pothos. 

“Koto?” Your gentle voice called into the bustling hum of conversation and clink of silverware. 

You spotted her behind the counter, grumbling under her breath as she frantically chopped onions and folded omelettes. The building was packed full of boys in black jackets with green patterned cuffs and collars. 

Tying your hair back, you grabbed a spare green apron from beside the kitchen entrance and slid in next to Kotoha. 

“(Y/N)! I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you come in! What’re you doing back here?” Her eyes flicked between you and the pot of boiling water in front of her. 

“You look like you could use a hand,” you giggled. “What’s everyone having?”

She sighed, the tension in your shoulder easing slightly. “You know you don’t have to-“

“I want to.”

You scanned the assortment of ingredients strewn about the long counter. “So, omelette rice?” 

With a smile and a sigh, she nodded her head, “yeah. The whole lot of them”. 

“You got it, Captain Ko!” You giggled. 

Falling into step you grabbed some more fresh onions and began to peel and dice them. The process was familiar to you, having seen Kotoha prepare this exact dish for you numerous times on quieter afternoons. Her chatty energy and warm smile made your new town feel just a little less lonely.

You plated another serving of Omelette Rice, the comforting scent wafting up in waves of heat. As you wipe your hands on a dish towel you kept tossed over your shoulder, a pair of steely blue eyes caught yours from across diner. 

He sat at a corner table, grayish-blonde hair falling just past his eyebrows, a sucker rolling between his lips.

He’s watching you- not in a way that’s uncomfortable, just curiously. Quietly. You think he’s rather cute. So, you offer a smile.

Kotoha followed your gaze, then leaned in and bumped your hip with hers.

“Ooo you’ve got yourself an admirer!” she teased, a warm blush coating your cheeks.

Hours later, with the crowds now gone and the dishes clean, you stepped out of Pothos into the crisp night air. 

The sidewalk was quiet and nearly empty- except for him. The guy from earlier. He leaned against the outer wall of the cafè, headphones pulled over his ears and gaze locked on his phone. 

“Um, excuse me, you’re the guy from earlier, right?” You extended your hand, a strawberry lollipop in its center.

 “Did you mean to leave this? You can have it ba-“

“It’s for you.” He muttered, eyes shifting away, “For y’know.. helping out Kotoha.” 

The tips of his ears dusted pink.

“Oh,” you smiled, a bit surprised. “Well, thank you, that’s really nice!” 

Silence settled between you, before you tucked the lollipop into your bag. 

“Well… I’d better get home, it’s getting late.” You smiled, dismissing yourself. 

“I’ll walk you.”

And he did.

These walks happened more and more often. He’d walk you home from school or Pothos whenever he got the opportunity. 

In return, you kept a stash of lollipops in your bag to give him as a thank you, much like he did for you that first day. 

Naturally, the more time you spent with Kaji the more you learned. You learned why he always had a lollipop between his lips and a stash in his pocket. You learned about the headphones he always had over his ears, or on rare occasions, decorating his neck. You learned about Bofurin, his role and reputation. 

So when that rainy night came, when you heard that soft knock echo through your apartment, you no longer hesitated. 

You tip-toed to peer through the peephole before swinging the door open with an almost inaudible gasp. 

“Kaji?” 

He stood at your door, hoodie damp, lip busted, blood trickling down from a small gash on his cheekbone. 

He pressed his lips into a thin line, sending you a small nod. 

“C’mere,” you whispered, gently wrapping your fingers around his wrist and pulling him inside. 

 “Here, sit here,” you led him to your sofa. “I’ll be right back.” 

You rushed to the bathroom, returning with bandages, sterilizing wipes, and antibiotic cream. You positioned yourself on the couch, adjusting your body so that you were facing him, legs folded in a pretzel on the cushion. 

“Wanna talk about it?” You offered, only to be met with a gentle shake of his head. 

“Okay.” 

You slid the headphones from around his neck up and over his ears, allowing him to escape while you tended to him. 

You started with his knuckles - torn, bloodied, and still tense. You wiped them down with the sterilizing wipe, removing any dried blood and bacteria. You pretended not to notice the slight wince in Kaji’s eyes from the sting of alcohol. You finished with some antibacterial cream and wrapped his knuckles in white gauze. 

Next, you moved to the gash on his cheek. You repeated the same process as before - cleaning and sterilizing before applying the cream. This time, you placed a long rectangular bandaid over the wound. 

Finally you shifted to work on his busted lip. Your nimble fingers wrapped around the stem of his lollipop as you made eye contact, silently asking him to release. He parted his lips and let you slip the treat out of his mouth casually. 

It was then his heart nearly stopped. 

In your intense focus, you unintentionally placed the lollipop in your own mouth, too busy with your current task to realize what you’d done. Suddenly he was aware of how close your face was to his. How softly you were dabbing his injuries. He noticed the subtle twirl of his candy in your mouth as you concentrated. 

“There, all patched up!” You cheered with a sigh, leaning backwards. Meeting his eyes, you noticed how they were dilated and the tips of his ears were red.

“Are you okay?!” 

Suddenly worried that you were too late and he  sprouted a fever from an infection or the rain, your hand flew to his forehead. But.. he didn’t feel hot. 

You hummed, savoring the sweet strawberry taste as you pondered what else it could be. You wondered when you began to like the taste of artificial strawberry so much, it used to remind you of medicine. 

Oh.

Oh.

Your face flushed red as you yanked the lollipop out of your mouth, hands frenzying about.

“I am so sorry!! I didn’t even notice!! I didn’t mean to make you uncomf-mmmmph”

Before you could finish your flurry of apologies, you found the lollipop stuffed back in your mouth, Kaji’s hand firm around your wrist.

“Shut up. It’s fine, I have more.” He grumbled, shifting his eyes away. 

His fingers relaxed, still loosely wrapped around your wrist. His gaze lingered for a beat longer before flickering away, hand dropping back in his lap. You caught the slight dip of his head as he tried to hide the blush not-so-subtlety creeping up his neck.

“I… um. I should probably toss your hoodie in the dryer,” you said, voice soft, unsure of how to break the charged silence between you.

Nodding, he slipped the garment over his head passing it to you. You smiled at how the static made his hair stand on end, Kaji reaching to smooth them down.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

You stopped your walk to the dryer before spinning around. The gentleness in your smile and the warmth in your eyes went together like milk and honey.

“No, thank you, for coming to me.”

His eyes matched the warmth in yours, corners of his lips lifting slightly.

When you returned from throwing his hoodie in the dryer, his head was tilted back and resting against the back of your couch, eyes closed. You tried not to stare too long at the way that his fitted black shirt hugged his frame.

You lifted your hand just over his head and hesitated. Taking a soft breath, you placed your hand in his hair. You traced your fingers over his scalp, fingers delicately twirling strands of his cotton hair.

“C’mon sleepyhead, you can take my bed. My sister won’t be home tonight, she’s got the late shift” you cooed. 

Without opening his eyes, he gave a slow nod while pushing himself to his feet. You tenderly grabbed his hand, guiding him to your room. You tossed him an oversized hoodie and pair of sweatpants that you often snuggled into on cold rainy days.

While he changed in the bathroom, you prepared the bed, moving all of your plushies off into the corner of your room.

You heard the door to your bathroom creak as he walked out, eyes struggling to stay open. 

“It’s all ready for you! I’ll be in my sister’s room if y-” 

Your words were cut short as he grabbed your hand, the other lifting the comforter and tugging you both into bed. He shifted so that your back was pressed into his broad chest, one arm draped over your waist. 

“Go to sleep” he mumbled, warm breath tickling the back of your neck.

His warmth, weight, and steady heartbeat worked like an elixir. Within minutes, your racing heart settled as you were lulled to sleep by his quiet protection. It was the best sleep you’d gotten in a long, long time. 

The next few days passed by in a blur. Kaji never brought that night up, and you didn’t push, but you could tell you were no longer just friends. You could tell by the way he lingered a little longer, the way his fingers always seemed to find your wrist like a habit. There was something soft and heavy settling between you two, like a weighted blanket just big enough for two. 

By the end of the week, you found yourself spilling the events to Kotoha, arms full of chocolate chips and flour. 

“I’ve BEEN telling you, (Y/N)! He’s head over heels!” 

“But what if he’s not?” You whined. “I’d look like an idiot and lose my best friend.”

“I thought I was your best friend!” She pouted back, before you both broke into a fit of giggles. 

Having finished shopping for your weekly girls-night baking session, you strolled through town window shopping, gushing over the new fall attire being displayed to commemorate the season change.

“Look at this one, you’d look so cute in it!” you gestured to a plaid jacket with red and orange lines running through it.

“You think so?” 

“Yes! It’d match your hair and eyes perfectly! You’d look like a warm fall drink on a chilly day” you gushed.

Giggles and compliments continued to flow between you as you pointed at random outfits and accessories, mimicking the mannequins poses, until a young blonde-haired girl approached and silently slipped her hand into Kotoha’s.

“Hey sweetie.. what’s wrong? Where are you parents?” Kotoha spoke softly to the young girl, whose eyes remained fixed straight ahead, face pale and hand trembling.

You scanned your surroundings, trying to determine what had spooked the young girl. That’s when you saw them.

Three- no, four men were stumbling down the street in the direction that girl came from, heading straight towards your group. Wicked grins were plastered on their faces, eyes drifting from the young lady to you and your friend like they were choosing from a menu.

“Ko, don’t look, but we need to go.” you whispered, eyes glued to the group quickly approaching. 

It started out as a brisk walk. You took a left, then right, then right again in hopes of shaking them off. When you snuck a quick glance at the reflection of the shops windows, they were still there. Still tailing. 

Their steps became louder as the pit in your stomach grew deeper and the hairs on your arm stood straight up. They’d catch up to you at this rate, and there was no way you’d lead them to either of your homes. 

“They’re getting too close. We’re gonna have to run for it,” you mumbled quietly to the burgundy-haired girl beside you.

She nodded her head subtly, tightening her grip on the child’s hand. You stole one last glance. In the window’s reflection, the largest man met your gaze with a smile far too wide and eyes far too hungry. Taking a deep breath you grabbed Kotoha’s wrist and ran. 

You ran as fast as you could without losing the girls beside you. You took random erratic turns, begging, praying for the rushed steps behind you to fade away.

You ran until your legs burned. 

You ran until your lungs ached. 

You ran until - 

dead end. 

Spinning around, you realized it was too late. The men blocked your only way out. 

“We don’t want to hurt you but you’re not making this easy,” One of the men snickered, stepping forward. 

“We just want to have a little fun!”

You took a step, then teo, pushing the girls back to the alley wall. 

“Don’t let her see”, you whispered, eyes locked on the men in front of you.

 Kotoha maneuvered the girl into the corner, shielding her with her body. 

You stood between the girls and men. Your heart rate increased, breathing shallow and fast, fists clenching and unclenching. 

You couldn’t fight. 

You didn’t know how to throw a proper punch like the Bofurin boys.

You weren't strong, but you were all you had, and that had to be enough.

Your voice trembled, 

“Leave us alone.” 

The first man stepped forward, a large grubby hand wrapping itself around your throat, lifting you from the ground. Your feet swung in the air, hands coming to claw desperately at his arm.

 It couldn’t end like this. Not after everything you survived. But no matter how much you kicked, no matter how much you tried to pry his hand off of you, he didn’t budge. 

Spit flew from his mouth as he shouted profanities at you, but you couldn’t hear him, your attention elsewhere.

In your peripheral, the second man walked past you, grabbing Kotoha by her hair and yanking her head backwards. The young child in the corner peered through the gap, eyes wide and wet. 

Suddenly, air didn’t matter anymore. Pain didn’t matter. You couldn’t let them get hurt. 

Your eyes slammed to the man in front of you. Without thinking, you shoved your fingers into the man’s eyes. He dropped you, reflexively flinging his hands to his face, screaming.

As soon as your feet hit the ground, you threw your body at the man who grabbed Kotoha- teeth sinking into his arm. He let her go with a shout, flinging you into the wall behind you, wind knocked out of your lungs.

Before you had the chance to catch your breath, he was towering over you, crimson liquid dripping from his arm as he shouted and reached for you. Everything appeared to you in slow motion as you swung your leg up hard between his, rolling to the side to dodge the collapsing man. 

Somewhere in the background you heard Kotoha’s frantic voice, but you couldn’t make out what she was saying. 

Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears, eyes darting to the next man. You needed to fight like you needed air to breathe. 

You were all teeth, nails, and sharp bones. A cornered animal. No matter how many times you were thrown into the brick wall behind you, no matter how many times your head hit the concrete, you got up. The throbbing in your head no longer mattered. You knew if you fell, they were next. 

Your movements began to slow, legs disobeying the voice in your head begging, fighting for you to get back up. 

A man had slipped past you, reaching for the girls. You threw yourself one last time in front of their hunched forms. It wasn’t graceful, but it was all you could do to create a barrier. 

“I’m tired of your pesky ass! Get the fuck out of my way!” The man screamed at you.

He grabbed something sharp and shiny from his pocket as you stood firm, squeezing your eyes shut before your mind could register the blade your eyes saw. 

Instead of pain there was a gust of wind. 

A loud clatter.

A shout. 

You took a shaky breath before cracking your eyes open. 

There he was.

Kaji. 

He came. 

His hair was damp and his breaths were heavy. His eyes were full of rage, fear, and something that felt like guilt.

That’s when it all hit you. You could feel the skin under your nails. Somebody else’s blood soaking your chin. The pulsating headache. The relief that spread through you like a wildfire, the fear that tossed and turned in your stomach. The shame and embarrassment.

The stinging pressure from the back of your head quickly shifted behind your eyes, threatening to spill over. 

Kaji’s wild eyes met yours as Umemiya rendered the last man unconscious. Before the first tear could fall, he was there. Pulling you into his arms, one snaked around your back and one firm against the back of your head - holding you as the sobs and adrenaline drop racked through your battered body.

“‘m sorry.” he repeated into your hair as if it would undo the events of the night.

You could hear his heartbeat racing as fast as yours, your hands gripping his hoodie like a lifeline.

Umemiya and Hiragi escorted the young girl and Kotoha home after ensuring that you would be alright.

Kaji walked you back to a small ledge near a restaurant's backdoor. He crouched down, guiding  you to a sitting position. Slowly and gently he disentangled himself and grabbed your bag that you had tossed to the side moments before the fight. Reaching into the front pocket, he withdrew the plastic water bottle you always kept on hand.

“Lean forward a little,” he said softly, hand steady on your back, “open your mouth.”

You did as you were instructed. He lifted the water bottle to the corner of your mouth, pouring it in one side as it spilled out the other. The water trickled into the floor below, taking the metallic taste with it. 

Once the water ran clear, Kaji capped the bottle and placed it by your side- promptly placing a lollipop in your mouth. Sweet artificial strawberry quickly coated your tongue, eliminating any lingering copper.

His eyes drifted down your arms and the exposed skin of your scraped up legs. Nothing like the predatory gazes from earlier, just scanning. He noticed the goosebumps from the all too familiar adrenaline drop, immediately removing his headphones to shrug off his soft gray hoodie.

“Here,” he whispered, hoodie outstretched to you.

A look of recognition flickered in your eyes, as if you were finally coming back to yourself. With a soft, grateful smile you pulled the hoodie over your head, arms slipping into place. It was loose on you, and smelled exactly like Kaji always did, like clean laundry and cedar wood. The warmth that lingered on the hoodie from his body and the all encompassing scent grounded you, flooding your senses with safety. 

“Thank you.”

It came out soft and weak, but it was there. 

Kaji’s eyes lingered over your curled up form, pulling the lollipop stick from between his teeth. 

“You did good, (Y/N). So good. But never again.”

Your eyes flickered up, finally meeting his. 

“Should’ve been here sooner. ‘M sorry. When I heard you in the background of Kotoha’s call- I…fuck.”

He shook his head.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t lose you. I can’t.” He breathed. 

For a moment, you just stared, anticipation and guilt fighting in your stomach. 

If there was one thing you learned that night, it was that your love outweighed your fear, always.

You yanked the lollipop from your mouth and slammed your lips to his. 

The kiss was heavy, full of things unsaid. It was messy. Desperate. Strawberry sweet. It fueled the flame in your chest so much you thought it might burn you alive. 

His rough hand cupped your face, gentle despite the calluses. You tilted your head, pressing your lips more firmly against his as they moved in a slow, passionate rhythm.

Once the burning of your heart spread to your lungs, you pulled away, both panting. 

Your foreheads rested against each other, your eyes locked on his.

“You won’t lose me.”

“And I won’t let them touch what’s mine. Never again.”