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eating at the dining hall makes me feel like less of a human

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hi

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#thinkingoutloud

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stormz ask box after a stream/video is like when a public figure gives a speech and then opens up for questions and the 3485487 journalists all start geeking

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FREEDOM MOTIF STORMZ i scream as i am being dragged back to the general chem classroom

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after every stormz stream i feel like i need an open qna session with him like .

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guess who just woke up, read back the bomb i left in daily civ gc and just. wow. good stream bro.

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after every stormz stream i feel like i need an open qna session with him like .

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sometimes i watch stormz streams and feel like the workers in hadestown. “if he can do it so can she. if she can do it so can we.” no im not elaborating further

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feeling so insane about stormz and his weird fucked up relationship with morality and humanity and being good. there's some part of him that wants to listen to q, wants to be the person they imagine he could be, but he knows better. he's been around this cycle enough times to know better.

he has tried being good and genuine and human and it has gotten him nothing but enemies and swords to the chest. he has watched dumb care so much again and again and try so hard to be good over and over and it has never saved them. he saw how successful they immediately were when they stopped trying to uphold their morals. he has watched squid dominate the server so absurdly entirely, unimpeded by his fickle heart.

he got a taste of it for himself in disciple and has never really been the same, has he? revenge turned him heartless and squid gave him a guiding hand, and it was so damn easy, wasn't it, to rise to the top? so easy to get the entire server under his thumb, following his demands. it's the kind of thing that makes a man wonder, what purpose does honor serve? what does good matter when it won't put you on top?

but dumb cared. dumb cared about being good. so stormz fell in line, fell back into that supporting role despite knowing how to be so much greater.

but here, there's no dumb, is there? and stormz is tired. tired of being sidekick, tired of trudging down the path destiny's laid for him, tired of being just another pawn in the game whoever's in power is playing. he knows how to be the arbiter of his own fate - he's known for so agonizingly long. isn't it about damn time to use it?

gah. ghrahrahrahrahgh. here's a compliation of my chat messages from tongiht. im going to go Insane.

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my ribs cradle the grief in my chest like a vise

gakhed // donte collins, autopsy // linda pastan, five stages of grief // infuse smp // 27 - fall out boy // scars - the crane wives // sarakleijn // 17776; infuse smp // unknown // scars - the crane wives // unknown // angel of grief by william wetmore story (photo plucciola); famous prophets (stars) - car seat headrest // infuse smp; a. k. ramanujan, speaking of siva // deadpoetswilde // trista mateer // carole maso, the art lover // gakhed // love elizabeth s. // infuse smp; intactics, i am asking you to endure it // gakhed // infuse smp; alexandre dumas, the count of monte cristo

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my ribs cradle the grief in my chest like a vise

gakhed // donte collins, autopsy // linda pastan, five stages of grief // infuse smp // 27 - fall out boy // scars - the crane wives // sarakleijn // 17776; infuse smp // unknown // scars - the crane wives // unknown // angel of grief by william wetmore story (photo plucciola); famous prophets (stars) - car seat headrest // infuse smp; a. k. ramanujan, speaking of siva // deadpoetswilde // trista mateer // carole maso, the art lover // gakhed // love elizabeth s. // infuse smp; intactics, i am asking you to endure it // gakhed // infuse smp; alexandre dumas, the count of monte cristo

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my ribs cradle the grief in my chest like a vise

gakhed // donte collins, autopsy // linda pastan, five stages of grief // infuse smp // 27 - fall out boy // scars - the crane wives // sarakleijn // 17776; infuse smp // unknown // scars - the crane wives // unknown // angel of grief by william wetmore story (photo plucciola); famous prophets (stars) - car seat headrest // infuse smp; a. k. ramanujan, speaking of siva // deadpoetswilde // trista mateer // carole maso, the art lover // gakhed // love elizabeth s. // infuse smp; intactics, i am asking you to endure it // gakhed // infuse smp; alexandre dumas, the count of monte cristo

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my ribs cradle the grief in my chest like a vise

gakhed // donte collins, autopsy // linda pastan, five stages of grief // infuse smp // 27 - fall out boy // scars - the crane wives // sarakleijn // 17776; infuse smp // unknown // scars - the crane wives // unknown // angel of grief by william wetmore story (photo plucciola); famous prophets (stars) - car seat headrest // infuse smp; a. k. ramanujan, speaking of siva // deadpoetswilde // trista mateer // carole maso, the art lover // gakhed // love elizabeth s. // infuse smp; intactics, i am asking you to endure it // gakhed // infuse smp; alexandre dumas, the count of monte cristo

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there is a post that was made somewhere on this website that i cannot seem to find anywhere, not on here and not on pinterest, that goes something like this: "'its okay you can peel all your masks off to reveal your true soft self' no, its okay. i know that underneath it all there's nothing. that you are hollow. thats okay and i'll still love you." something like that. something about how you've played different role after role for so long, adopting mask after mask just to make sure that everyone got the perfect ending and that everyone was satisfied. and that when it came down to it, you never really got to play "yourself" so eventually "yourself" ended up not existing at all. so when all of that comes peeling away it is hollow and baren and so so so empty. but that is okay. that is okay. and you are not any less because of that. and you are still human despite that.

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hi

Do you like me

i love you bro....

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I dont like stormz