puzzlingmagic

[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter Six: Liquid Freedom

Summary: Hermione takes one last day in the sun and Pansy snoops.

Words: 4.8K

Warnings: 18+, Attempted of Suicide

A/N: HI! Here's chapter six!

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Early July 2004

One visit to the cafe turned into two and then three. Soon Hermione was finding herself at the cafe for tea almost everyday. Astoria seems to like her a lot and Pansy seems to have warmed up to her. Theo, obviously, was fine with her too. Draco on the other hand… He was still distant and that was okay with her honestly. She still wasn’t sure what to make of him, whenever she saw him at the cafe she partially expected him to throw a hex or a name her way, though he never did.

In truth neither of them had taken any sort of step to reconcile or duel but everyday they would nod cautiously in greeting and go about their business until he left to do whatever he did during the day and Hermione felt like she could breathe again. Kind of. It had become the new normal.

This morning however was not a normal cafe day. 

The pain radiating in Hermione’s chest had been there all night and had made it hard to sleep, breath, or even think and the potions felt like they weren’t doing anything to stop it. She was dizzy as she walked down the stairs of her cottage home, her hand gripping tightly to the rails as she slowly sank down to sit on the last step. Her breathing was ragged as she winced, she could feel the curse moving in her chest, stealing her breath, and making her heart feel like it might pop. A cough forced its way out, her hand flying up to cover her mouth until she was sure it was done. The metallic taste of blood coated her tongue.

Pulling her hand away she let out a strangled gasp when she saw the bright crimson of her own blood splashed across her palm. This couldn’t be happening…

Grabbing the rail with her clean hand she pulled herself up and moved on wobbly legs towards the kitchen and all but threw herself at the sink. Turning on the tap she washed her hand of the blood watching it as it swirled down the drain, tears coming to her eyes. She wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling. Shock? Definitely. Sadness? Very much. Maybe even a little bit of fear? Looking back down at her now clean wet shaking hands she nodded. Yes, definitely fear. Taking in a slow stuttering breath she turned the water off, wiping her soaking hands on the closest dish towel as she turned to look for her bag. She needed a pain potion and a calming draught immediately and with weak legs and shaky hands she pushed herself away from the counter and towards the kitchen table where she thought the bag might be. When she couldn’t find it on the table she groaned and looked towards the living room. Spotting it on the coffee table she stumbled her way into the living room and all but flopped down on her side onto the couch, her hand reaching out to grab for the bag that sat just out of her reach. Wincing, she stretched as far as her arm would let her, her fingertips hooking around the ties so she could pull it to her.

Bringing the bag to her chest she rolled over onto her back so she was staring up at the ceiling of her living room. Breathing as deeply as she could as she slowly opened the top and pulled out the potions she needed and dropped the ones she didn’t back into the abyss of the bag. One by one she opened the potions pouring them in her mouth gracelessly, not caring if any dribbled down the side of her face. She just needed to calm down, needed the pain to stop, needed it all to stop. Closing her eyes she coughed again trying to clear the tightness from her throat. Pushing her hand into the bag again she searched around until her hand found the bottle she would recognize even in the dark. She had touched it so much by this point. The long neck and rounded bottom. She could take it right now, she should take it. It was only getting worse.

Her lungs felt full and her heart was going into overdrive trying to keep up. She hadn’t even bothered to check how her magic was doing, just making the boxes from a few napkins had completely taken it out of her. Her magical core was mostly drained 

Her time was almost up. The Nightmist was starting to look more and more pleasant. The idea of just falling asleep felt so nice. Pulling the bottle from the bag she held it up to the light bleeding in from the gauzy curtains on the living room windows, the green shined like a beacon of hope. Once the pain and calming potion had somewhat worked its way through her system she was finally able to sit up. Moving so she was sitting more comfortably against the armrest of the couch, tossing the open beaded bag onto the coffee table before she rolled the bottle between her palms as she sat back lost in thought. 

The London house was already ready to be sold, this home was practically there. It wouldn’t take much time for someone to come clean it out. Harry knew the address, the Slytherins were in town, she was sure once she stopped showing up at the cafe someone would come and check on her. Find her body. Hopefully before it was too decomposed. 

Pulling the cork from the top of the bottle she lifted it to her nose. It smelled sweet, slightly floral with a bitter note at the end. Would it taste as sweet? Taking a slow deep breath in she put the lip of the bottle against hers and just as she was about to tip the liquid freedom onto her tongue a knock on her door jostled her into awareness making her pull the bottle back and re-corked it quickly to keep from spilling it. 

Breathing heavily she looked down at the potion in her hand before a knock sounded through the door again this time accompanied by a voice she recognized.

“Hermione!” Astoria’s muffled voice called out through the wooden door. “Are you in?”

“Co-Coming!” She called back as she moved off the couch to stand, the bottle still clutched in her hand in a death grip. Her whole body was shaking, she almost did it. Almost ended it all. A strange feeling rolled around in her gut unsure if it was relief or sadness. Another knock made her shake her head to clear her thoughts and Hermione moved towards the door, her hand refusing to let go of the potion bottle. Taking another breath she opened the front door just as Astoria was about to turn around. “Astoria.”

“Hermione!” She smiled looking back at her, taking in Hermione’s pale complexion and dishevelled form, Astoria’s smile started to falter a little. Her hand came up to touch her cheek. “Are you alright? You’re as pale as a ghost.”

Nodding, Hermione pulled her face away a little, turning to cough slightly into her shoulder. “I’m fine. Just not feeling quite myself today. Did we have plans?”

“Oh no, we didn’t.” Astoria said, shaking her head a little before gesturing behind her at the group that Hermione hadn’t seen congregated at her gate. Theo smiled, waving his free hand for her to come over, his other hand was currently full holding a broom with a quaffle stuffed under his arm, he started pointing at the picnic basket in Draco's hand. Draco rolled his eyes and he looked like he wanted to smack the other man with his own broom. Pansy was standing off to the side holding blankets and speaking softly to Daphne and Blaise, who were looking just as shocked to see her as Hermione was to see them. “My sister and Blaise are visiting from Italy and we were on our way to have a picnic. There’s a little clearing in the woods a little way out of town we can fly around in. We wanted to know if you were interested in joining us?”

Hermione looked between them before looking back at Astoria, she wanted to say no she wasn't up for socialising today, but the hopeful look in the other girl's eyes was too much. 

“Not to be rude,” Astoria said with her gentle smile. “But you don't look well. Some fresh air might do you some good.”

Taking a deep breath she started to nod her head slowly. One more day in the sun didn’t sound too bad. Closing her eyes she nodded firmly, “Sure. Yeah. Give me a few minutes?”

“Of course!” 

Hermione nodded leaving the door open for Astoria to come in as she walked back into the living room. Carefully, she moved to the beaded bag that still sat on her coffee table and put the vial of Nightmist back inside and grabbed her wand out before she cinched the top closed. Turning around she smiled at Astoria who was leaning on the door frame looking back at the others holding up a finger in a ‘wait a moment’ signal. Hermione walked into the first floor bathroom and freshened up, pulling her hair into a messy bun on her head using her wand to hold it together before splashing some water on her face. She was already dressed, the jean shorts and muggle band shirt would have to be good enough. The face of Ziggy Stardust stared back at her in the mirror. Patting her face dry she focused on the small amount of magic she had and shivered as a very weak glamour draped over her features. It wasn't enough to make her look healthy but at least she didn't look so pale anymore. Sighing she blinked at herself in the mirror, “Bowie give me strength.”

She left the bathroom once more to head back into the living room, pulling on her trainers, and grabbing her beaded bag trying to hide the slowly fading shaking of her limbs. “Should I bring anything?”

“No!” Astoria shook her head. “We have everything we need.”

Nodding, Hermione grabbed a flannel that she stole from Ron years ago from the back of her fathers favourite chair and headed towards the door, pulling her house keys from the side table by the couch. “Ready.”

“This is going to be so much fun!” Astoria clapped as she started to walk from the house, turning to watch Hermione lock her door behind her before she started to follow her down the small sidewalk towards the others. “Let's go!”

“Granger!” Theo smiled as she got closer laughing as Astoria grabbed the quaffle from him. She could see the love he held for Astoria in his eyes before he looked at her again. “Happy you can join us!”

“Thanks for inviting me.” She smiled, though she was sure it didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“Granger.” Draco nodded at her as looked her up and down with a critical look before he started to walk down the path. 

“Malfoy.” She nodded back. Just like at the cafe.

“You look like shit, Granger.” Pansy said as she started to walk by. Daphne and Blaise followed her lead each nodding their head in her direction. 

“Parkinson, always a pleasure,” Hermione said as she started to walk behind the group. They are moving at a steady pace currently but any faster and she might struggle to keep up. 

A few paces down the road Blaise hung back until he was walking next to her. His arms holding his own broom across his shoulders, a teasing smile on his lips. “Long time no see Granger.”

“Zabini.” She nodded at him. “Heard you were in Italy now. How's the wine business?”

“Lucrativ.” He laughed nodding towards Pansy. “She is one of our biggest clients. But wine sells well especially in France and Italy. What about you? Last I heard you were at the Ministry. Still with Weasley?”

“Ronald and I separated a little over a month ago and I am currently taking time away from the Ministry.” Hermione sighed, kicking a rock in her path. He didn’t need to know that she quit before booking it out of London. “I just needed some time to myself to think some things through.” 

“And have you found what you're looking for?” He asked curiously with a bright smile, watching as Daphne laughed at something Pansy had said. 

“No, not yet.” Hermione muttered with a shake of her head as she crossed her arms around her middle, the flannel and beaded bag hugged close to her body. She was close though, she almost had it but then Astoria knocked on the door and delayed it. “But I’m getting there.”

“I hope you find it.” Blaise said, looking back at her. His dark brown eyes bore straight into hers and she just nodded.

“Me too.” 

The conversation between them died then and they walked in silence, Hermione trying her best to keep up as to not cause concern or annoyance. Every once in a while she noticed that Draco would look back at her before turning around again quickly when their eyes would meet. Pushing Theo away from him with a laugh as the other man leaned towards his ear. His well toned back and broad shoulders caught her attention as he moved.

Looking away from the two men Hermione’s gaze turned towards the trees around them trying to distract herself from the pale haired man in front of her. She had to admit she loved the woods around the small town. They were a perfect distraction, they always made her feel like she was living in a fairy tale. A fairy tale with a sad ending.

The gravel roads turned into a dirt path, the trees getting closer together as the group moved, sunlight filtered through the leaves onto the ground like a watercolour. It was beautiful and it brought her a sense of calm as they continued on for a while longer before they walked off the beaten path into the trees away from prying eyes. At one point in the walk Astoria fell back to walk with her, slipping her elbow into Hermiones so they could chat like old friends out for a stroll.

The clearing came into view a few moments later. It was a large naturally occurring circle of land void of trees and Hermione looked towards the sky, letting the sun shine down on her face.

“Granger!” Pansy called over, holding out a blanket. “Spread this out.”

Nodding her head she moved a few feet to grab the blanket from Pansy and with Astoria’s help they spread it on the grass letting it overlap the one Pansy and Daphne had spread out a bit. She watched as Draco set the basket in his hand down in the middle of the layered blankets before he pulled his wand from his pocket and crouched down and tapped the lid. She watched as it sprung open and the items inside the blasket started to dispense until everything was spread out on the blankets. There were bowls of fruits, plates of assorted sandwiches and sweets, carafes of juices and even a few pots of piping hot tea. Empty plates and cups sat off to the side waiting to be used. It looked like a high tea in the middle of the woods and the image made her giggle. Draco’s eyes snapped up to her at the sound and he looked away so she couldn’t see as he smiled a bit. 

“Come sit Hermione.” Astoria said as she gracefully sat on the blankets and patted the spot next to her. 

Draco watched as the girls got situated before looking over at Theo, who had made a noise to grab his attention, and saw that he was already on his broom floating in the air tossing the quaffle between his hands. “Ready to lose?”

“It’s not even a game of Quidditch.” Draco said, rolling his eyes before he picked up his broom from where he placed it on the grass and swung his leg over taking off towards Theo.

“That means yes.” Blaise snarked as he joined them in the air.

The confused look on Hermione’s face made Astoria giggle as she made a cup of tea passing it to Hermione as the boys started to toss the quaffle between the three of them.

“It’s a game the boys created. Since they can’t play Quidditch here they just toss the quaffle around and try to catch it in more ridiculous ways. If they drop it, that’s a point. First person to ten points loses.”

“What do they get if they win?” Hermione asked, taking a sip of her tea. Astoria always made it to perfection.

“Bragging rights mostly.” Pansy said with a shrug, piling a few nibbles onto a plate for herself to snack on. “Sometimes they bet each other to do dumber and dumber stunts to try and catch the quaffle for money. Last time Draco caught the quaffle hanging from his broom by his knees. He got fifty galleons for that.”

That sounded like a stupid game that Ron and Harry would enjoy. Her chest tightened, Merlin she would miss them. Looking around at the gang of Slytherins around her she was almost shocked to note that she would miss them as well. Even Pansy with her blunt criticism. Taking a sip of her tea the four girls fell into an easy conversation as they snacked and watched the boys toss the quaffle around. Her heart pushed itself up into her throat when Draco dove for the falling ball and caught it just before it, and himself, went head first into the ground. 

“Damn!” Theo cursed. “Thought for sure he wouldn’t nab it in time. I owe him thirty galleons now.”

“You know Drake likes doing insane shite.” Blaise snorted, pushing Theo a bit off kilter on his broom. “He’s bound to wind up in your office sooner or later.”

“He wishes.” Snarked Draco who was back in the air tossing the quaffle between his hands. 

Hermione watched as the boys continued to do dumber and dumber stunts as Pansy put it. Putting her tea cup down she couldn’t take her eyes off Draco, it was strange watching him fly with such ease all while still wearing a tailored pair of trousers and a button up white oxford with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He was more defined then he was at Hogwarts, the slim boy with pointy features had grown into a lean but well muscled attractive man. She watched as the muscles in his arms flexed as he tossed and caught the ball with precision. Hermione narrowed her eyes trying to see the tattoos on his arms, they were hard to see at this distance but the dark ink stood out against his pale skin.

A giggle caught her attention and she quickly looked away as Daphne caught where her eyeline was. “I think all three of us can attest to the fact that he is very good with his hands.”

“Oh, no I wasn’t…”

“No need to lie, Granger,” Pansy said, rolling her eyes a little while dunking a biscuit into her tea before taking a bite. “We can all see you drooling over there.”

“I’m not!” She gasped. She would never drool over the likes of Draco sodding Malfoy. Right?

“And the sun isn't hot.” Pansy said glaring up at the light that filtered through the trees. Placing the tea cup on her saucer she blocked the sun rays with her hand. “I just wish it wasn't so bloody bright today my head is killing me.”

“I have a pain potion in my bag.” Hermione muttered glad for the change of subject as she pulled the bag open and grabbed the potion she was looking for and handed it over watching as Pansy looked over the label before she opened it and gave it a small sniff. “It's extra strength so a little will go a long way.” 

Pansy took a small sip of the potion blinking when it kicked in. She felt a little light headed from it. Glancing down at the vial she looked at the label again. “Damn Granger! I thought you were joking! Why is it so strong?!”

“Migraines.” The lie slipped off her tongue. It came so easy to her now. 

“Another point for Theo!” The boys cried as the quaffle landed on the ground with a thud and rolled towards them landing against Hermione’s thigh. She looked down at it curiously before looking back up at the boys. Theo was pouting while Blaise and Draco laughed at him. 

“Throw it up here Granger!” Blaise called as he lifted his hands in the air. He could just as easily fly down to get it, any of them could, but this was a bit more fun she supposed. 

Putting her bag down she stood and grabbed the ball moving towards where the boys were flying. 

Pansy watched as Hermione held the quaffle between her hands before she tossed it straight up, the curly haired girl giggling as Draco dove for it, showing off a little bit more than he usually would. Turning back to the potion in her hand, her brows came together as she rolled the closed bottle with her fingers. Why was this so strong? Even extra strength didn't have this kind of kick. Grabbing Hermione’s open bag Pansy dropped the bottle back in, surprised to see that the small bag extended farther down then it should. That had to be illegal. 

Pansy snorted in an unladylike manner the Golden Girl wasn't as uptight as she thought.

She was about to close the top of the bag seeing as she had outgrown her snooping ways, well mostly, when the bag shifted and a flash of green caught her eye. Her brows knit together again as she let her hand plunge into the depths of the bag and pulled the green potion from its spot atop a pile of books. Pulling the vial out of the bag she rolled it in her palm so she could read the label and she felt the moment her heart fell into her stomach. 

Nightmist.

She knew exactly what this was. Draco had told them about it when he was researching how to make it. Glancing back at Hermione who was chatting with Theo as Blaise and Draco tossed the quaffle back and forth. Pansy felt pity. Why did she have this? 

“Alright there Pans?” Astoria asked as she eyed the other girl a curious expression on her face. 

“Yes,” She nodded a little, pocketing the vial discreetly before closing up Hermione's bag. “Just putting the pain potion back.”

Giving her a nod, the Greengrass sisters turned back towards each other to chat about some cousins and Pansy turned to look at Hermione once more before looking up at Draco. She would have to tell him wouldn’t she?

~*~*~*~*~

“Alright Granger,” Theo said as he popped a grape into his mouth, his head laying on Astoria’s lap, her hand running through his curls. “Truth or dare?”

Hermione blinked, how they got around to playing truth or dare was beyond her. The boys had stopped tossing the quaffle around when Theo had lost their little game and had joined them on the blankets to eat while Daphne and Pansy played a card game to pass the time. Someone, probably Theo or Blaise, decided that this game was the best choice to pass the time. Clearing her throat a little she licked her bottom lip. “Truth.”

Pansy leaned forward. “Did you really set Snape's cloak on fire in first year?”

Taking a drink of her tea she nodded her head and she laughed a little as she swallowed. “Yes, but in my defence we didn’t know he was protecting Harry. We thought he was trying to fling him off his broom or something. Quirrell was the one trying to kill Harry.”

“Why would Professor Quirrell try to kill Potter?” Blaise asked, biting into the tea sandwich between his fingers.

Hermione hummed for a second as she thought about how to say this. Technically no one told her she wasn’t allowed to talk about it, but it was kind of an unwritten rule that one should just not bring it up. 

“He had Vol-” She glanced over at Draco who was looking down at his own cup listening to her before he looked up and gave her a small nod. She didn’t want to upset the easy peace they had between them by bringing up the man who had ruined so many lives. Including his.

“It’s alright Granger.” He muttered bringing his cup to his lips. “Don’t pussyfoot around it for my sake.”

Nodding her head she looked back at Blaise. “He had… Voldemort… on the back of his head telling him what to do.”

“No shite?”

“Bollocks!” 

“It’s true!” Hermione nodded, putting her cup on its saucer. 

“Did you see him?” Daphne asked with slightly wide eyes.

Shaking her head Hermione picked at the skin around her thumb. “I didn’t. But Harry did and Dumbledore confirmed it at the end of the year.”

“I have so many more questions for you.” Theo said sitting up so he could see her easier. 

“That's not how truth or dare works!” She laughed pointing towards Malfoy. “Isn’t it his turn now?!”

“He always chooses dare and it’s boring!” Pansy said leaning forward a little so she could look Hermione in the eye, ignoring the face Draco made at the slight. “And now that we have you here we can get all the answers to all the sneaky Gryffindor rumours we’ve heard!”

Throwing her head back with an audible groan, Hermione closed her eyes feeling a headache coming on. For once it wasn’t her chest that was causing her pain, much. With a sigh she dropped her head again grabbing for her bag to pull out a pain potion deciding to kill two birds with one stone. Aware of everyone watching her she downed the potion and dropped the vial back into her bag. “Headaches… What do you want to know?”

They all seemed to launch questions to her at once, well everyone but Malfoy, and she had to hold up a hand to get them to calm down with a little giggle on her lips. “One at a time please!”

Daphne leaned towards her first, “Did you really keep Skeeter in a jar for a month?”

“Yes and no. Fourth year I caught her in her animagus form listening in to a private conversation and I did trap her in a jar.” They started up again and she spoke over them. “But! It was only until the end of term. A few days, maybe a week or two at most. It wasn’t a month, she’s dramatic. She’s a beetle by the way.”

The shocked quiet made her giggle again. 

“Did you really brew a polyjuice potion in your second year?” Astoria asked curiously.

“Yes,” Hermione nodded, “We were trying to get information about the Chamber of Secrets.”

“Who did you polyjuice into?!” Theo asked his curiosity obvious on his features. “Who did Potter and the Weasel polyjuice into?!”

Sighing, she muttered almost in shame at her own fuck up, “I grabbed the wrong hair and polyjuiced into Millicent Bulstrode’s cat.”

Her head snapped over sending him a glare when Malfoy snorted a laugh and started to choke on his tea before he was able to clear his airways enough to actually laugh. As did the other Slytherins. It took a few moments for them to calm down enough for Blaise to repeat the question. 

“And Potter and Weasley?”

“They turned into Crabbe and Goyle.” She said looking over at Malfoy’s shocked face. He wasn’t laughing now and she smirked a little watching as he went through all sorts of emotions, his eyes shifting back and forth like he was looking through his memories of when Crabbe and Goyle seemed off before he settled on what she would call mild annoyance. 

Quietly, he turned his head to look over at her with slightly narrowed eyes, the soft breeze pushing his hair onto his forehead slightly. “Glasses.”

Hermione couldn’t help the giggle that slipped from behind the hand that she had slapped over her mouth as she looked at him. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice.”

“I fucking knew something wasn’t right about them!” He groaned, pushing his hand through his hair watching as they all laughed. “Reading… Greg would have never willingly picked up a book!”

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[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter Five: You Did

Summary: Hermione speaks to some familiar faces

Words: 4.6K

Warnings: 18+, Thoughts of Suicide

A/N: HI! Chapter five is here!

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Hermione was only able to get through four chapters before her mind started to wander. Her pointer finger was stuck between the pages as she looked out over the ocean. Would drowning feel the same as suffocating?

No. It was definitely different.

But it might be faster. To drown water would have to find space in her lungs, which was already taken up by this curse so there was less area to fill. It would only take a few minutes compared to the year or so that was her current hell. Blinking, she shook the thoughts from her mind. She came out here to stop thinking of her death.

Pulling her fingers from between the pages, not giving a single thought to the fact that she lost her spot, she dropped her book on the blanket and stood up. As she stepped closer and closer to the edge the wind seemed to push her back as if it knew what she had been thinking, the cliff was just a few steps away now. Looking down over the edge she held her breath as a gust of wind pushed her hair from her shoulders. At the bottom of the cliff sat the beach, waves pushing and pulling along the sand, also on said beach sat a bunch of rocks that could do a lot of damage if she hit them. Turns out she wouldn’t in fact be drowning just bleeding internally… and externally. Definitely not how she wanted to go out. The potion was certainly the safer bet.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to jump.” A voice called out startling her.

With a gasp she took a few steps back from the edge before she turned around to look at the new person. He looked familiar, like the girl in the shop the other day.. He wasn’t from around here of that she was sure.. But.. where had she seen him before?

“Don’t get me wrong, I know CPR but it won’t do much good if you land on the rocks.” The man just smiled at her, his hands held up in front of him to show he meant no harm before he slowly slipped them into his pockets and kept them there. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.”

The more Hermione looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes the more familiar he got. Then like a light switch was flipped, a flash of Slytherin green and a rogue smile in a quiet library. “Theodore Nott?”

“Guilty. But just Theo please,” He smiled. That same roguish smile. “Hello Granger.”

“What are you doing here?” She asked as she looked around the empty area. There wasn't a soul around but the two of them.

“Here?” He said pointing at the ground between the two of them. “I'm talking to you. If you're adding about here?” He gestured to all around them. “What are any of us really doing here in the grand scheme of things? But if you're talking about Luccombe.. I live here.”

“But it's a muggle village!?” She couldn't keep the shock of of her voice.

“I know.” He laughed leaning forward a little as he slipped his hands back into his pockets. “There's a few of us Slytherins that live here actually. I'm just curious about what brings you to our little town?”

Hermione blinked at him in shock. Slytherins. In a muggle village. Shaking her head she pushed her hair out of her face as a breeze blew her curls into her eyes. “I… Uh… My parents. They have a cottage on the edge of town and I’m staying here for a little while.”

“Alone?” He curiously asked, his head cocking slightly to the side. “Or is the rest of the Golden Trio hiding around here somewhere?”

“No,” Hermione said, shaking her head before looking down at her bare feet. Her toes curled into the blades of grass, slowly she looked back up at him. Her chest hurt as she thought about her friends. The ones she will be leaving behind soon. “It’s.. It's just me.”

The two of them stood there, just watching each other for a few quiet moments. Theo looked like he was studying her and Hermione rubbed her sternum awkwardly, giving out a little cough before she looked away again. “I should really get back home.”

“Allow me to walk you.” Theo said, taking a step towards her. “I may have hated my family but I was raised to be a gentleman.”

“Oh no, no,” Hermione said, shaking her head as she moved towards her blanket to slip on her sandals, grab her book, and house keys that she shoved into her front pocket. “It’s fine. I’ll be okay, it's just up the road.”

Grabbing the blanket before she could, Theo rolled it up holding it in his arms before she could attempt to take it from him. “I insist.”

Hermione looked like she wanted to argue for a moment before she decided against it and together the two of them started to walk away from the picturesque cliff. They moved in silence for a few steps before she looked up at him. “So what brought you to Luccombe?”

“Hmm?” Theo asked, blinking down at her before he ran his empty hand through his brown curls. “Life after the war was hard... Even though I wasn’t really part of the debacle my family name is still associated with Ole No Nose. There wasn’t a place in wizarding London we could go without being harassed in some form of another, so we left. Found a home on the other side of town and we’ve been here for a few years now. We like it here, it's peaceful. Easy. Just what we needed. I’m actually the town doctor. For both magic and muggle. Though it’s mostly just the village elders I tend to.”

“How did you manage to learn two different forms of healing in such little time? It would take years to finish both!”

“Professor McGonagall put in a good word for me with the Ministry when she learned what I wanted to do. She thought that since I was still just a student at Hogwarts when everything went down it wouldn’t be a problem and she somehow got them to allow me to use a Time Turner. So I studied both at once, lost a lot of sleep, and almost lost my sanity but I got there. I’m sure you are familiar with that?” He smirked down at her with a little chuckle.

Laughing a little back, Hermione looked at the path ahead of her. She had been asked a few times over the years about her third year with the time turner but she never gave anyone a straight answer. Leaving it to their imaginations. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” He chuckled.

After that a moment of silence fell over the duo as they walked. She thought back on what he had said earlier in their conversation. Theo had mentioned that some of their schoolmates were here as well. The last thing she needed was a bunch of Slytherins making her life harder when she's close to the end. “You kept saying we and you mentioned earlier there were a few Slytherins here. If you don’t mind me asking…”

Theo looked at her out of the side of his eye before he answered. Almost like he was debating with himself. “Well, there’s me, my fiancé Astoria, and Pansy. She owns the café in town, The Morning Magic café, I'm sure you've seen it. Tori works there too. Blaise and Daphne visit frequently, though they live in Italy at one of the Zabini vineyards. And… Draco is here as well.”

“Malfoy?!” She exclaimed, coming to a stop in the middle of the road, coughing to keep her voice from going to an unreasonably high pitch. “Malfoy’s here? In Luccombe?”

Theo stopped a few paces in front of her and turned to look back at her. “He needed to leave London more than any of us did. He barely left the Manor after his year of probation and when he did it wasn’t pretty. No one cared that he was just a child who was taken advantage of by the adults around him. We all were in a way, even you, but he’s changed a lot. He doesn't believe in all that blood purity shit anymore. Draco grew up, Hermione, and for the better. He’s a good man.”

Hermione looked away from Theo after a moment. She just couldn’t believe someone like Draco Malfoy had changed that drastically. Hate that deep didn’t just vanish. Rubbing her sternum again to try and brush away the pain she bit her lip a little. “Wait… You’re engaged to Astoria Greengrass? I thought she was engaged to Malfoy? That’s what the Prophet said a few years ago anyway.”

Theo just shrugged and gestured for her to start walking again with a lean of his head down the path. “They were, but they broke off the engagement after we moved out here. Astoria and him had a long talk and when he found out that we loved each other he couldn’t go through with it and he told their parents that he broke the engagement. He took the fall so she wouldn’t be dragged through the mud. You know how purebloods are, the gossip would have ruined Tori.”

Hermione made a noncommittal noise as she fell into step with him. Theo had given her a lot of information to think about. Draco Malfoy, her class's number one prat, was kind enough to end an engagement and take the heat for it so his fiancée could be with someone else. Has he really changed enough that he no longer believes in the purist bull he spewed at her? He was the first person to ever call her a Mudblood and at the time she tried to act like his words hadn’t bothered her, that she was above it, but there was no hiding later how it had affected her.

She remembered how he stood there and watched as his insane Aunt hit her with Cruciatus after Cruciatus before she got bored and started to carve into her arm. Her fingers brushed over the currently unglamored scar on her arm subconsciously. She knew logically that he wouldn’t have been able to help her even if he had wanted to. There was no telling what Bellatrix could have done or Voldemort for that matter if he had found out. Hermione had heard of all the torture that he and his family had gone through at the hands of that psycho at both his and his mothers trial.

Theo caught her movements but was polite enough not to say anything. Glancing down at her he cocked his head to the side deciding a change of subject was needed, “So what brings you all the way out here?”

Hermione bit the inside of her cheek before she finally started to talk, keeping away from the truth as much as possible. It’s not like he’s going to know if she lied. “It’s not as interesting a story as one would hope. Just been having a rough patch recently. Ronald and I broke up and I just needed to get away for a while. The home was just sitting there so I thought why not?”

“You and Weasley were together a long time,” Theo gave her a small frown. “I’m sorry to hear that, it must be hard to be single after all this time.”

‘More than you know,’ She thought, this was not how she thought her life would go.

“Your parents don't come out anymore?”

Her chest gave a pulse of pain as she thought about her parents, their smiling faces, and how disappointed they would be in her. “They live in Australia now. Don’t come home much.”

“Oh.”

The two moved along quietly after that. The path under their feet crunched and she knew that the cottage would be coming into view soon and she has been more thankful for it.

“Well… this is me.” She said pointing at the home as they rounded the corner and her home came into view. As she brought them both to a stop in front of the small walkway that led up to her door she looked back over at him holding out her hands for the blanket Theo held in his arms. She pulled it to her chest as he handed it to her, careful not to ruin the book already in her hands. Her chest really hurt and now so did her head, a pain potion was in her future as soon as she could get away from the man.

Theo looked at the white two story house, it was simple and modest, very much like Granger herself. It seemed to be the perfect fit for her and her family. “Your home is lovely.”

“Thank you.” She glanced over her shoulder at it before looking over at him again. “And thank you for walking me… It really wasn’t necessary.”

“It was a pleasure honestly,” Theo shrugged as he watched her for a few moments. “I know we didn’t really have much interaction at school, but it was nice to catch up a little.”

“It was. I guess I’ll see you later then…” She muttered quietly with a small nod. Slowly she started to back away, still feeling the man's eyes on her as she reached into her pocket and pulled the keys from her shorts, using them to open the door. With one foot in the door she looked back over at him as he started to move from the small walkway. “Theo?”

“Hmm?” He hummed and looked over at her again.

“You said that Malfoy had changed. That he had grown up. To be honest I’m having a hard time believing that. But I have to ask… what changed him?” She questioned.

“You did.” He answered before he gave a small wave and started to move again, calling over his shoulder to her. “Have a good night, Granger.”

Out of all the things that he could have said that was not at all what she expected. How could she have changed Draco Malfoy? The two of them haven't seen each other since his trial and they didn’t even talk then. She watched Theo walk out of sight and she had more questions than answers. “Me?”

~*~*~*~*~

After her talk with Theo, Hermione didn’t step one foot out of her house for the next two days. The last thing she wanted was to run into the other Slytherins, she had no idea what she would even say to them. Especially Malfoy. Dropping the book she was attempting to read, for the fourth time, on the coffee table she pulled her legs up onto the cushion and leaned back against the arm rest. There was far too much happening in her brain at the moment to even try to comprehend the words that were written on those pages.

Has he really changed that much? Theo seemed to think so, they were living in a muggle village after all and not once had Harry mentioned anything about Aurors coming out here to take care of anything. But surely Malfoy wasn’t stupid enough to harm a muggle after he was let go with only house arrest after the war. Maybe he just stayed away from them? Or perhaps he- NO!

Shaking her head she groaned and leaned back farther against the armrest, her hands covering her face in frustration. Why did she care so much about Draco sodding Malfoy? She needed to do something, anything, to get her mind off this current path. Looking around she tried to find something to do that would occupy her mind and body. Her eyes caught on her fathers old stereo that sat on the long end table under the front window. Music! Music would help!

Pushing herself up and off the couch she moved around the living room to the stereo, pressing the top she let the lid of the CD area float open until she was able to see what was inside. A smile pulled on to her lips as she saw that ABBA was inside. Her father loved them, Waterloo was his favorite, he would dance around the house singing at the top of his lungs. Never failed to make her or her mother laugh.

Closing the lid she hit play and waited a few beats before the music pulse through the speakers, a small smile gracing her lips as ABBA started singing, her hips swaying a little as she looked around the room deciding fresh air sounded lovely before she pushed open the front windows. The music poured out into the street as she turned it up.

More.

She needed more.

She could unpack the bookshelves! Get the house ready for when she was gone just like the London house! Things for her to do and less for everyone else!

Searching around the home she grabbed her wand from the bun she had wrapped on the top of her head and grabbed a handful of napkins from the kitchen. Concentrating hard and with a flick of her wrist she was able to transfigure the napkins into a bunch of boxes. Well only five. But it was a start. Pain bloomed in her chest either from the use of her magic or her manic excitement she didn't know but she downed A pain potion from her beaded bag nonetheless and got to work.

She was halfway through the second row of books when she turned around to find Pansy Parkinson standing in the doorway with her and crossed looking terribly unimpressed. Hermione couldn't help but jump, almost dropping the large books in her hands as she gave a gasped curse. Placing the books on her coffee table she quickly moved to the stereo and turned down the music before glaring at the girl. Crossing her arms she frowned at her. “What the hell, Parkinson? Do you make a habit of just walking into people's homes?”

“I did knock but you couldn't hear me over that trash you call music.” She said pointing at the stereo with a sneer on her lips, her nose scrunched up in distaste. “What the hell was that anyway? Sounded like a bunch of screaming cats.”

“It was ABBA if you must know,” Hermione sniped. She was very defensive of things that reminded her of her parents. “They’re a very famous muggle ban- you know what? Nevermind. Why are you here?”

“I came to ask you that.” She said, raising a perfectly sculpted brow at her. The tone in her voice was very demanding.

“This is my parents' summer home. I live here…. Currently.”

“If you're here to cause trouble I won't hesitate to hex you.” Pansy huffed her hands moving to her hips. “We have a good thing going here. Draco’s finally happy again. I won't have you ruin that.”

“Oh for Merlin's sake. I didn't even know any of you were here until around… What? Three days ago? How could I possibly be here to make anyone miserable? Unless you haven't noticed I've barely left this house.” Hermione snapped, throwing her arms out in a gesture that clearly said ‘look at the place’. Books and potion bottles sat on the coffee table, the furniture sheets were still laying in the same kitchen corner waiting to be washed, clothes and blankets were strewn about the living room for when she got too cold, and as much as she hated to admit it there were at least three full bin bags sitting in the sun room needing to go out. Plus she didn’t even want to talk about the empty wine bottles on the kitchen counter.

Hermione Granger did not have her shit together. That much was obvious.

“Oh I can tell.” The Slytherin hissed as she looked around the home before her green eyes swiped Hermione up and down. “You look like shit.”

Hermione looked down at her comfy pj shorts and the large jumper she stole from Harry years ago before glaring at Pansy again. “Thanks…”

“Have you ever heard of foundation Granger? Mascara perhaps?”

“If you're just coming here to threaten and insult me you can leave.” She said pointing to the open door. Her chest was starting to hurt again and she was in no mood to deal with Pansy sodding Parkinson.

“Shit…No, no, you're right. I'm…. Sorry.” Pansy sighed as she pushed some of her hair behind her ears with nimble fingers before placing them back on her hips. “Trying to be a better person but old habits die hard I guess. I just worry about everything now. Draco mostly. He's in a good place right now, we all are and I don't want him to fall back into his old self. He’s come so far.”

“Parkinson,” Hermione said with a sigh as she crossed her arms over her chest trying to ignore the twinges of pain. “I'm not here to ruin anything or start anything with anyone. I'm just here to… say goodbye, I guess. Anyway, I won't be staying long.”

For the first time Pansy noticed the boxes on the floor and the empty shelves. “Moving out?”

“Something like that.” Hermione shrugged, looking away from the girl to the books on the coffee table.

Pansy looked at Hermione then, really looked at her, she looked tired and maybe a little more than sad. Sighing, she blew the fringe from her forehead. “I own the café in town.”

“Theo told me.” Hermione nodded her head. The abrupt change of subject made her blink and shake her head slightly to clear her thoughts.

“You should stop by. Before you leave, that is.” Pansy said, looking out the open front door. It was almost like she was embarrassed about the invitation that she just gave her.

“I was planning on it already before I knew you owned it. But I'll make sure I come round.” She nodded her hands also falling to her hips to match Pansy’s stance.

“Well good. It would do you good to get out of the house. You look like a ghost.” Clearing her throat Pansy glanced back over towards Hermione. “I’ll see you later then Granger.”

“Mhm,” She nodded her head watching as Pansy left her home, the door closing behind her. She watched out her front window as the witch walked down the small walkway and onto the street before she disappeared around the corner. Blinking in shock, Hermione turned the stereo back on at a lower volume this time before she picked up the books from the coffee table and placed them in the box by the shelves. Well that was the weirdest encounter she probably ever had.

~*~*~*~*~

Draco sat at his usual table in the café, his usual second mug of tea in his grip as he looked over his morning crossword. There was always one that gave him trouble. He only glanced up from the book as Tori placed a muffin fresh from the oven and a fork in front of him. Quirking up an eyebrow in question his gaze fell to the plate. “This a new flavor?”

The muffin had a distinct scent of bergamot and there was a glaze drizzled on top with a small pinch of what he can only assume was a zest of lemon by how yellow it was.

“Pansy’s trying something new.” Astoria said with a shrug. “Lemon Earl Grey muffins. Since Theo’s not here you get to be the guinea pig.”

Draco looked up at her before looking back down at the treat with an almost skeptical look in his eye. “Well at least it smells good.”

Astoria watched as he pulled the liner from the muffin before picking up the fork and taking a decent bite. She laughed a little as he looked confused at the taste for a moment before finally settling on being pleasantly surprised. “Well you haven’t spit it into a napkin yet so I’m assuming it’s good.”

Nodding he swallowed his bite before going in for another one. “This one is really good.”

“Damn right it is!” Pansy called from the doorway of the kitchen before heading back in to tray up the rest. “It’s going on the menu!”

“Tori dear, can I possibly get another pot please?” Mrs. Payton smiled over at her. “And one of those new muffins when they're ready. They smell wonderful!”

“Of course!” Astoria called back leaving Draco to his muffin so she could refill the pot for the older woman. Taking it gently from her hands as she got to her Astoria smiled at the woman, “Pansy should have them out momentarily and I’ll grab you one.”

“Thank you dear!” She called back as Astoria walked away.

Pansy brought the new tray of muffins out, slipping them into the display case as Astoria started to fill the pot with hot water, pulling a tin down from the cabinet to grab a few bags of Mrs. Payton's preferred tea and dropping those inside too steep.

The two witches worked in harmony as Pansy plated the muffin and left it on the counter for the other to grab before heading back into the kitchen as Astoria finished filling the pot. Carefully she grabbed the handle firmly in one hand and the plate in the other so she could bring it to the table.

It's as she was placing the items on the table that the door opened, the bell attached chiming with the new arrival.

“Welcome i-” Astoria called as she looked up, her breath catching in her throat with an audible squeak. The sound of a fork hitting a plate was heard in the background.

Hermione felt odd walking in the café and the fact that two Slytherins were staring at her didn't help. Was this a bad idea? It's only been two days since Pansy barged into her home. Taking a step into the café she let the door close behind her as she looked around, catching Pansy nodding at her from the kitchen door, having heard the bell and Astoria's reaction had made her curious about who it was. Clearing her throat Hermione smiled awkwardly.

Taking a breath Astoria wiped her palms on her apron before she stole a glance at Draco who was just staring at Hermione like she would curse him any second. Having enough of this awkwardness Astoria moved forward, clearing her own throat to start again. “Welcome to The Morning Magic Café. Will you be sitting in or taking it to go?”

“Um… in please.” Hermione smiled as Astoria gestured to her to follow her to the counter. Glancing over at Draco she gave him a small nod in greeting that he gave back and took off after the younger witch. Her eyes once more falling to Pansy in the kitchen door, “This is lovely Parkinson.”

“I know.” She said with confidence as she leaned on the door frame. “But thank you.”

“What would you like?” Astoria asked once she was behind the counter.

Looking up at the menu Hermione felt overwhelmed by all the options and pulled her cardigan tighter around her for comfort. Looking back down at Astoria she smiled at the witch. “What would you recommend?”

Draco watched the interaction from his table, his heart beating wildly in his chest. She was so close and she seemed so different, gone was the brilliant confident swot he knew in school. Granger seemed dulled. She was thin, tired, and pale. Something was off with her and he was going to find out what.

~*~*~*~*~

Previous - Chapter List - Forward

[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter Four: Do shut up Agnes

Summary: Hermione does what she, currently, does best. Dwell.

Draco on the other hand is... also dwelling. For a different reason.

Words: 4.6K

Warnings: 18+, Thoughts of suicide, Depression.

A/N: Please let me know how you enjoy chapter four! 

~*~*~*~*~

Hermione's drive down from London was mostly uneventful, she only had to stop twice on the side of the road to sit and drink a pain potion before the pain had dulled enough that she could focus on driving again. The ferry was nice though, she was able to stand at the bow of the little boat, while her car sat in the back, letting the salty sea air dance through her curls, not caring at all if she got wet from the ocean waves that sprayed around them. There weren't many people on the boat at that time of day as it was the last trip the boat was making until tomorrow. Soon she was able to see it getting closer, the Isle of Wight. When she was able to, she pulled her car off the ferry waving in thanks to the dock workers and continued her drive up the coast to Luccombe. Passing through Shanklin she stopped for a bit to grab a few things at their market before driving the seven minutes it would take her to get to her final destination.

Passing through the village, she realized it was exactly how she remembered it. It was quiet, peaceful, and wonderfully muggle. Little cottages with their thatched roofs. She felt at ease.

Pulling up to the house was like falling into a memory, she could almost see a younger her running up the walk to the street that would take her to the beach just down the way. The stairs were always sandy and she had to be careful going down lest she slip and hurt herself. She could see her parents following after her, her mum holding the towels and beach bag, her dad carrying the large umbrella and picnic basket. Both of them laughing at her enthusiasm. She blinked her eyes and like the ghosts they were they vanished from her sight. Leaving her heart feeling just a bit more heavy in her chest.

Sighing she exited the car, her beaded bag already in her hand as she walked towards the house. Using the house key from the key ring she unlocked the door pushing it open, the hinges letting out a haunting creak as it let her in. Reminding her of all the old doors at Hogwarts.

Flicking on the light switch by the door she looked around the familiar room, just like back in London, all the furniture was covered in cloth to keep dust from settling on it. The home was exactly as she remembered, it even smelled the same, a little musty but that’s an easy fix. Looking around she took a moment to get acquainted again. The staircase sat to the right against the wall leading up to the second floor that housed two rooms and a full bathroom, the living room sat to the left, kitchen, dining room, and door to the sunroom were straight ahead through an arch separating the living and eating space, and a small hallway peeked out from under the stairs on the right that led to another room and a second full bathroom.

Closing the door behind her, Hermione flipped the lock in place before she walked farther into the house, heading towards the kitchen, turning on lights as she went. Dropping the little beaded bag on the kitchen table, she put her hands on her hips taking a moment to breathe before she got to work making the house comfortable. Nodding to herself she pulled open the bag and dug inside. The unbelievable amount of microwave meals she had grabbed in Shanklin were pulled from the depths of her bag and tossed unceremoniously into the still cold freezer compartment of the fridge, a few bottles of wine were set on the shelves in the lower section to chill. Slowly all the windows in the home were opened as she moved from room to room letting the musty stale house smell out, while most of the furniture sheets were pulled away, rolled up, and set aside for washing. Opening the french doors to the sunroom she stepped into the room crossing her arms around her midsection as she looked out the windows to the ocean in front of her.

Harry would be upset with her when he finds out she didn't even bother warding the home, in fact she had plans to not even touch her wand. No point when your magic barely works.

She wasn't even sure why she was bothering to do any of this… She had a plan in mind and that plan didn't count on her sticking around for long.

Moving to the windows she opened them up one by one letting the salty sea air caress her skin before she turned to the furniture. Pulling the last of the cloth from the wicker seats and couch she dumped them on the floor and sat down. Her chest hurt, her heart was racing, and throat felt tight. She needed a pain potion, but she was too tired to care at the moment. Coughing a little to try and clear her airways she leaned back watching the sunset on the horizon. The sky was pretty, all the colors blending in a calming sort of way. She decided to just sit there for a while and enjoy the view.

~~~~~

Hermione sat there watching until the sun had fallen behind the waves and the sky grew darker, little dots of stars blinking at her in the night. She remembered her father pointing them out to her when she was little and when she went to Hogwarts Professor Sinistra taught her even more about them using the large telescopes in the Astronomy Tower to help them chart the night sky. The same tower Dumbledore fell from when he died.

Shaking the thoughts from her head she pushed herself up from the loveseat, grabbed the sheets on the floor, and headed back into the kitchen. Plopping the sheets in the corner of the kitchen with the rest of them before she turned to the fridge to grab a random microwave meal. She wasn’t hungry but she knew she should eat something.

Ripping the box open and letting the frozen tray slide out she stabbed the plastic cover with a knife she grabbed from the drawer and tossed it into the microwave pressing the buttons with little care as it whirled to life.

Rubbing her knuckles against her sternum she wandered back to the kitchen table to stick her hand inside her bag hoping to grab a pain potion for what felt like the tenth time today. Her fingers grazed a potion bottle and when she fished it out she saw it wasn’t the potion she was looking for. The Nightmist bottle sat in her palm staring at her, the slight green tint almost teasing her in the kitchen lights. She could just take it and let all the pain end now.

She thought about it.

She really did.

Just lay on the couch and go to sleep. That’s what Madam Fink said would happen. Her shaky fingers had just touched the cork on the bottle when the microwave beeps for her attention, making her jump and jarring her out of her spiral.

Shaking her head she placed the potion down on the table and turned to grab her food, carefully removing the plastic from the top, and grabbing a fork from the drawer before she took it to the table. Taking a moment she pulled the correct potion bottle from her bag and downed it, before Hermione turned to grab a glass from the cabinet and a bottle of her wine from the fridge as she let the potion do its job. Now in slightly less pain she sat at the table and tucked into her lackluster dinner, using her fork to push around the mash potatoes in its little section of the tray.

After a few bites of food she popped open the wine bottle and poured some into her glass. Taking a sip Hermione stared at the bottle of Nightmist. She thought back to the day she bought it how she was almost unable to get it. Madam Fink was very strict on her rules after all.

Hermione took in a deep breath as she looked around Knockturn Alley. It wasn’t like she was nervous about anyone seeing her in the area, she didn’t care, she was nervous for another reason. Still she couldn’t stop the shaking in her hands as she opened the door to the potions shop.

Finks Potions and Peculiarities.

A loud caw carried through the shop as she opened the door, making her jump as she looked up as the large crow, or maybe it was a raven, stared down at her from its perch by the door. Its intelligent but beady eyes staring into her soul. The bird shook out its wings as it settled down, cocking its head to the side like it had never made a sound. Peculiar was right, why couldn’t she just have a bell like a normal shop owner?

Walking farther into the shop, she couldn’t help but look at all the things that sat on shelves and tables just waiting for someone to take them home. Love potions sat in baskets, skulls covered by glass, there were crystals, candles, and other bits and bobbles that caught her attention as the shop owner came out from the curtain hiding the back of the shop.

“Well, well, never thought Hermione Granger would be in my shop.” Madam Fink said, brushing her hands against the front of her dove gray skirt. “Looking for something in particular?”

“Yes,” Hermione said walking up to the counter to be face to face with the strange witch. She was tall and slender, her long black hair hung loose around her shoulders making her skin look paler then it probably was, or maybe that was just the lighting. “I heard a rumor that you sold a… certain potion.”

The witch narrowed her dark eyes slightly as she took Hermione in. “I don’t sell that potion to just anyone.”

Hermione looked around biting her lip. “Please. I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t desperate.”

“If you want it you’ll have to have a prescription signed by no less than two different Healers. Until you have that, I can not help you. It’s not something to be played with.”

“I wouldn’t be playing.” Hermione snapped a bit before taking a deep breath and dug into her bag pulling her patient record and the new pages from today from its depths before plopping it on the counter for the woman to see. If she needed proof she would give her proof. “I have a curse in my lungs, there’s nothing they can do. According to my Healers I have three months, maybe four, and I don’t want to just lay down and let it kill me. I want to be the one who decides when I die. So… Please… I’m begging you.”

Madam Fink looked at the large file in front of her. She's seen many like it before and she was sure she would be more after. Glancing up through her lashes at Hermione she opened the folder and scanned through it. Taking her time to get the information she needed.

The worst part about this whole thing was how quiet she was. Not a sound came from Madam Fink as she looked at Hermione's biggest weakness. After a few minutes the shopkeeper grabbed the newest pages and looked them over before lifting her head completely to gaze at Hermione with her unsettling charcoal eyes, all while she slipped the pages into the folder with the rest. “Fate has dealt you a terrible hand Miss Granger.”

“Never really believed in fate.” Hermione muttered, taking the folder back from her.

Madam Fink looked like she was at war with herself for a moment before she nodded her head. “I will break my rules just this once. You are in a lot of pain aren't you?”

The younger witch just nodded.

“Yes, I can see that. Wait just a moment.” Fink turned then, walking back behind the curtain, leaving Hermione in the shop, her heart in her throat. She listened as the witch rummaged around looking for the potion in question before coming back out the small bottle of green liquid in her hand. Nightmist. Placing it on the counter she looked at Hermione almost gauging her reaction.

“How much?” Hermione asked, her eyes never leaving the bottle as it taunted her with the promise of oblivion. An end to the constant pain that had been her life for over a year.

“Forty galleons.”

“Are you sure? I was told it was eighty.”

“I'm feeling generous today.” She shrugged looking at her nails, watching as the dimming Golden Girl counted out the coins before placing it in her other well manicured hand before she took the potion into her own shaking one.

“I heard it would be like falling asleep. Is that true?”

“That's what my brewer says.”

“What's in it?”

“I was told it's a mix of a very strong sleeping potion, a few deadly plants, and other things that I'm not at liberty to say. Trade secrets you know.” Madam Fink shrugged again nonchalantly before looking Hermione in her eyes. “You need to drink the whole bottle. It should only take about thirty minutes for you to start feeling sleepy. Don't fight it.”

Nodding her head Hermione put the new potion into her bag and looked up at the witch. “Thank you. For breaking your rules.”

The woman waved her hand in the air like she was batting away Hermione's thankfulness. “For what it's worth… I am sorry this is your only cure. I wish you safe travels in this life and the next.”

Seeing that she was being dismissed, Hermione whispered another quiet thank you before she made her way out of the shop. The bird let out another loud caw as the door opened, its wings flapping at the disturbance.

“Do shut up Agnes.” Madam Fink stated before she walked back behind the curtain.

Shaking her thoughts out of the memory Hermione grabbed the bottle and shoved it back into her bag. Taking another sip of her wine she leaned back in the chair to get a hold of herself. Not tonight. When she really thought about it she wasn’t ready. She wanted to do this on her terms and she wasn’t there. Not yet.

~~~~~

She didn’t sleep that night, she doesn’t sleep most nights anymore. The pain was too much and she wasn’t too keen on taking the dreamless sleep potions. She had taken one the night before to prepare for the drive and those could be addictive if she wasn’t careful. She cuddled into the sheets of her bed on the second floor, watching as the sky got lighter and lighter outside of her open window. The colors mesmerized her as they changed, pastel blues, pinks, and lavenders.

It calmed her but it also brought her a feeling of change. She wasn't sure what it meant, the feeling only made her cuddle farther into her pillow more to block out the light, the feelings. There was only one change in her future. Maybe that was it

Closing her eyes, Hermione allowed herself a few more minutes to try and get at least some sleep. Hoping that maybe for once she could ignore the pulsing pain in her chest. She needed to try.

She tried to wipe her mind clear of thoughts and when that didn’t work she tried counting sheep and by the time she hit 120 she decided it was a lost cause and it was time to get up and face the day.

Tea sounded nice.

Pushing the blankets away, Hermione sat on the edge of the bed before pushing herself up slowly to keep her heart from going crazy. She took her time making her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, swallowing a pain potion she took from her bag and turned to check the cabinets for the tea kettle that she knew was stored away, once found she grabbed it and stuck it under the faucet to fill, staring out the window tiredly.

Once ready she moved the now filled kettle to the stove. Turning on the burner as she looked around in the cabinets next to the stove for any tins of tea. But found them empty.

“Damn,” She muttered, closing the cabinet doors again before leaning on the counter. “I wonder if that little shop is still here.”

Turning off the stove, she made her way back upstairs to change into a comfy sundress that she had pulled from her bag last night, grabbing a light cardigan to cover the old scar on her forearm. She wasn’t embarrassed by it anymore. It was a sign that she survived at least one thing that tried to kill her, but in muggle towns it was easier to hide it then have them curiously ask what it meant or how she got it.

How could one explain that the word was a slur permanently cut into her body by a madwoman who hated her because of how she was born? It sounded crazy even to her own ears and she had lived it. Pulling the cardigan on she hiked up the sleeves just far enough to expose her wrists and pushed into a pair of flats.

Heading back downstairs she took a pit stop in the kitchen to slip some notes from her bag and her house keys into the pocket of her jacket before she turned and headed out her front door locking it behind her as she went. Taking a moment to breathe the fresh morning air, Hermione moved down the small walkway and up the street towards the center of the little muggle hamlet. She was correct in her judgment that the town had not changed at all. The charming homes and little shops were still here and she remembered why she loved it so much.

Soon she was in the heart of the town when a café on her left caught her attention, The Morning Magic Café, that was new and Hermione promised herself she would visit before she drank the Nightmist. She promised to give herself one last good day before she left the world. She smiled sadly at the thought as she continued around the corner to the shop. Giving a quiet greeting to the shop owner, an older gentleman, she moved into the aisle that she remembered held tea.

She was going between two different kinds when she heard heels clicking on the tile floors. Seems like she wasn't the only one doing some morning shopping. Peeking around the shelves she saw a girl around her age buying strawberries. Nothing strange about that though her side profile did look slightly familiar. Possibly just a local she's seen before over the years.

Shrugging, Hermione went back to her current problem before she just gave up deciding that she would buy both teas, that was when the woman in heels made a very quick getaway. The click click click sound of her shoes echoing in the little shop. Must have been in a hurry, she looked up just in time to see the tailend of a skirt disappearing around the store front. Holding both tins of tea in her arms she looked around a little more, adding a bottle of milk and a box of sugar cubes to her items before walking to the front of the shop to pay for them.

“New in town?” The owner asked as he rang her up. “Don’t remember seeing you here before.”

“Yes and no,” Hermione shrugged as she put her hand in her pocket for the notes she had. “I used to come here a lot when I was little with my parents. We haven’t been able to come out for a few years. We have a cottage on the other side of town.”

“Ah, I see.” He nodded as he gave her the total for her items, taking the money she handed him and made her change. “Well, in that case. Welcome back.”

“Thank you,” She smiled, taking the change and the bagged items from the man, giving him a small wave as she left the shop and headed back towards her home to finally make that tea.

~~~~~

For the next few days Hermione had stayed inside the cottage. Her depression had hit a new low and though she hated to admit it, she spent most of her time sitting in the sunroom soaking up the sun rays staring at the ocean or sitting at the kitchen table staring at the potion. Only stopping to force herself to eat, shower, or attempt to get some sleep.

To say she was dwelling was an understatement.

On the fourth day she decided that enough was enough. She needed to get out and think of something else for a while. Literally anything else. Grabbing the book from her nightstand that she’s been promising herself she would read, a blanket from the top of the wardrobe, and her house keys she headed down the stairs. Not bothering to change out of her shorts and simple tank top. She doubted she wouldn’t see anyone else today so looking her best wasn’t a top priority. She felt like shit and she had no energy to even try.

Fresh air sounded nice though. Leaving her cottage she flicked the lock as the door closed and made her way to the cliff nearby. She always liked when her parents would take her there for picnics, it was open, no building in sight, and the view of the ocean was incredible. The walk was only a few minutes down the street, the pathway lined with little flowers, mushrooms, and a few other flora that one would find in potions. It was amazing that after all this time this was still just a muggle town. I witch or wizard could make a lot of money off potions with the ingredients around here.

Soon the cliff came into view, the ocean breeze was stronger here, the smell of the salt made her smile as she walked closer. Laying out her blanket, she kicked off her sandals and sat down letting the sun shine warm her shoulders as she opened her book and started to read.

~~~~~

Draco had a lot on his mind. He hasn’t had a moment's peace in days since the night Pansy and Astoria dropped the Granger bomb on him.

She was here.

In this town.

A piece of his history that he had tried to run away from. The shame he still felt when he looked back at that day in the manor was enough to make sure he didn’t sleep at night. He couldn’t get her screams out of his head. It was a slippery slope and it only dragged him down until he couldn’t stop thinking about all the terrible things he was responsible for during the war.

“I’m thinking of getting a dog.” Theo said randomly as he plucked a long blade of grass from the path next to them as they walked. Ripping it to shreds between his fingers. He had joined Draco in his bi-weekly foraging to try and get the other man out of his slump.

Blinking, Draco stopped his tracks staring at his friend like he had grown a second head. “Why in the hell would you get a dog?”

Theo shrugged. “None of us ever had a pet growing up. Unless you count your fathers peacocks.”

“I don’t. Hated those bloody fucking birds.”

“Would just be nice to have one, you know. A pet. Wouldn’t you like to have a little puppy running around the cottage?”

“Always being underfoot and ruining the rugs and furniture with its dirty paws?” Draco shook his head as he crouched down to grab a few mushrooms off the path. “No thank you. Also consider the fact that you aren’t home enough to take care of it, so that would land on my shoulders and I’m too busy to watch the damn thing. I have a business to run, you know. Plus, I think it would give Zippy a heart attack. You know how she is about the house being clean.”

Theo huffed in a childish way, tossing his hands in the air. “Fine. But I’m not giving up on this. I’ll ask all the girls and when it’s us against you, you’ll have to deal with it.”

Rolling his eyes Draco stood up throwing a deformed mushroom at Theo as he passed. “Zippy will kill you in your sleep and I won’t stop her.”

“Zippy wouldn’t kill me, she loves me.” Theo said dodging the wayward fungi and starting after Draco.

The two men walked in silence for a while listening to the wind rustle through the leaves, the flowers swaying, and the seagulls calling from the beach just on the other side of the trees. They stopped a few times along the way so Draco could grab what he needed, shoving the potion ingredients into the canvas bag that sat on his shoulder.

“What do you think about Granger being here?” Draco asked quietly as he stopped in his tracks again further down the path before looking over his shoulder at his friend. The night the girls told them Theo had been awfully quiet, which was out of character for the man. Sometimes the trick was getting him to shut up.

“I don’t really have an opinion on it. I was more concerned about you honestly.” Theo shrugged, pulling a leaf from the tree above him using the stem to twirl it between his fingers. “Are you worried?”

“No,” Draco said, shaking his head as they started to walk again.

“But you haven’t stopped thinking about her.”

Running his hands through his white blond hair Draco groaned. “How could I not? I haven’t seen the witch since my trail and now there’s a chance I could run into her at any point. What would I even say to her? ‘Sorry, my family tried to kill you, hope you’re doing well’?”

“You sent her that apology letter, didn't you? Granger doesn’t seem like the kind of person to hold a grudge. If she was, she wouldn’t have cared enough to speak on your behalf right?” Theo said as he started to shred the leaf in his hands.

They turned the corner at a leisurely pace coming up onto the cliffs that had a lovely view of the ocean.

“A letter that I don’t know if she even read.” Draco sighed.

“How about this? If you see her… just say hello- Draco?” Theo stopped short when he noticed Draco was no longer moving, his attention was pulled towards the cliff. It seemed like his friend had forgotten how to breathe. Looking at the man before him, he followed his line of sight to see what had literally stopped him in his tracks, there standing close to the edge of the cliff was Hermione Granger herself.

A ghost from their past is suddenly alive and so close.

Theo cocked his head to the side as he looked back over towards Draco. “Are you going to go say hello to her or just stare like an idiot?”

Taking in a deep breath, Draco shook his head. He had made up his mind as he started to walk away from the cliff and the girl standing on it. He couldn’t talk to her not right now. He wasn’t ready. “No, I doubt she would want to see me anyway.”

Theo shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, watching as his friend essentially ran away from the girl. Shaking his head, he watched for a few more moments until Draco was out of sight before he started to head over himself. Just because Draco was too chicken to say hello didn’t mean he was.

~*~*~*~*~

Previous - Chapter List - Forward

[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter Three: Company's Coming

Summary: Draco Malfoy had a routine.

Words: 4.2K

Warnings: 18+, Fluff

A/N: Chapter three here we go!!

~*~*~*~*~

Draco Malfoy had a routine.

Each morning he would wake up early and go on a run through the small hamlet of Luccombe to clear his mind and wake his body up for the day, once he returned home he would shower, and prepare for the rest of his day which consisted of morning tea, walking Astoria and Pansy to work at the café he and Pansy co-owned, breakfast there, took the lunch Pansy made to Theo at the medical clinic he ran in town, and then returned home to brew potion orders that he would send out to small shops around the country. Lunch would be brought in by Zippy around noon, and after that more brewing until tea time. Theo would grab the girls on the way home and the five of them would have dinner together in the nice cottage they all shared at the edge of town.

The cottage was so different then his large manor in Wiltshire but he liked it. There were no bad memories and no ghosts to haunt him.

He was unwanted in Wizarding London. It was no secret. After a year of house arrest and having his photo splashed all over the papers for his part in the war, it was too much. The looks he would get and the name calling. People would spit at him. Draco couldn’t handle it anymore. Everyone believed he should be rotting away in Azkaban with his father. No one cared that he was just a child under the rule of a mad man who was living in his home, threatening his family if he ever failed. And he did fail.

So when he decided he needed out, Theo, Astoria, and Pansy decided to leave their ancestral homes and go with him. Mostly so he wouldn’t be alone, but they had things they were running from too.

To say they were scared was an understatement. Where would they go? What would they do?

With the money they had left from their inheritances, thanks to the Ministry's mandated reparations, and some help from Narcissa they were able to find this little muggle seaside village and the old house that sat abandoned. Buying it was easy and though Merlin knew it wasn’t much at the start, it was theirs. Magic helped clean the place up in no time. Though they try to keep things as original as possible with only a few extension charms here, an added room there, a floo connection, and finally a feeling of peace. It was everything they wanted. Everything they needed.

With a yawn, Draco slipped his coat over his arms to sit on his shoulders as he left his room checking the inside pocket for his wand, before knocking first on Pansy’s door and then on Theo and Astoria’s as he passed through the upstairs hallway like he did every morning, save Saturdays and Sundays, on his way to the kitchen for the Daily Prophet that was delivered like clock work. “Morning Zippy.”

“Oh! Good morning Mister Draco!” Zippy the house elf said as she jumped onto the stool in front of the sink to wash the dishes from her breakfast. “It’s supposed to be warm today. For lunch Zippy was thinking of a light meal. Just some sandwiches and maybe a light salad.”

“That sounds wonderful. Thank you.” Draco said as he grabbed the paper and took a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island to read the paper.

With a snap of her fingers, a hot cup of Earl Grey tea floated towards him landing gently on the counter by his hand. “For tea, Zippy was going to make those blueberry tarts you love.”

That piqued his interest and he smiled behind the paper. Of all the things he grew out of in his life his sweet tooth was not one of them. Flipping down the corner of the news, he grinned at the tiny elf. “You spoil me.”

“Somebody has to, Salazar knows the rest of us won't.” Pansy grumbled as she walked into the room fixing her purse on her shoulder. She had outgrown her harsh puggish look of childhood and had softened out with puberty. Sometimes Draco had a hard time recognizing the pretty young woman to be the same girl he dated in sixth year. Though she still had her signature bob hair cut, so that helped.

“Always so lovely in the morning, Pans.” Draco sarcastically drawled as he continued to read the paper and drink his tea. “I hate to say it but the Harpies are shite with the Weaselette out.”

“Good morning, Miss Pansy. Can Zippy get you anything before you go?”

“Just some toast please.” Pansy said, moving to lean on the counter as the little elf got to work. “Did she quit?”

“No. Her and Harry Potter had a baby!” Astoria cried, her heels clicking against the hardwood flooring of the hall. “I read it in the Prophet last month. Good morning Zippy!”

“Good morning, Miss Astoria!” She called back. “Would you like some toast as well Miss?”

“Yes please! With lots of butter!”

“Is Theo still sleeping?” Pansy asked, coming to read the papers over Draco’s shoulder. Not that she was interested in anything in the paper, she just knew he hated it when she did. She smirked when she saw his shoulders stiffen.

“No. Mrs. Stephen's had to reschedule. Her granddaughter is going off to school in the states and she wanted to see her off. So he went in early for her.” Astoria said as she wandered over towards the other side of the counter across from the two of them.

“Mister Theo Is always so thoughtful,” Zippy said, bringing over two plates of toast for the girls. “Can Zippy get you anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Pansy said politely.

“No, thank you!” Astoria said, taking a bite of her very buttered toast. Making sure to swallow all the food before she asked the tiny creature next to her, “Any plans for today?”

“Zippy was going to pop to London and get some shopping done. Our cupboards are looking a bit bare and Zippy saw the prettiest yarn in Diagon for knitting!” The elf bounced in her spot, her hand clasped together to her chest in joy.

“I can't wait to see it!” The brunette smiled at her small friend.

Zippy had been charged with Daphne and Astoria’s care from the moment they could walk. It was her job to make sure that the girls didn't get into trouble. They loved each other and when Daphne went off to Hogwarts before her, Zippy was there to comfort Astoria. She knew everything about her and didn't shy away from her blood curse. So when the Dark Lord came back Astoria did everything in her power to protect her friend. With her father being a high ranking Death Eater, he offered their home and servants up for meetings until Voldemort took up residence in Malfoy Manor. Needless to say, even with Astoria’s intervention Zippy still saw her own fair share of pain in those days.

And when the Dark Lord fell for a second time the wizarding world called for reparations and they had to give up almost everything. Mostly money and property, that included the elves, so Astoria and Daphne presented Zippy with a lovely pink dress and set her free. But she didn't leave. She was steadfast in her job to watch over Miss Daphne and Miss Astoria. So when Daphne married Blaise and left for Italy, she left the elf to care for her sister and when Astoria left to live with the other Slytherins Zippy came along. She loved taking care of them and it gave her purpose.

Plus, she gets paid handsomely for her troubles too. Four wayward Slytherins is a lot to handle.

The clock in the hallway chimed as it hit the hour.

“Oh! You must go, you'll be late to open the shop!” Zippy cried watching the girls eat quickly as Draco set the paper down to finish his tea.

Soon the three humans were tossing goodbyes to Zippy and leaving the home.

The moment Draco stepped outside for the second time that day he knew today wasn't going to be a normal day. He could feel it in the air. Something was off. He had felt it earlier but shrugged it off as not being quite awake yet. But now it stopped him in his tracks as he looked up at the morning sky.

“Draco?” Astoria called looking over her shoulder at her ex-fiancé. “Are you alright?”

“Hmm?” He asked before he nodded, stepping down the single step and onto their front walkway to meet the girls at the gate. “Yes, just feeling a bit off today.”

“Do you need to see Theo? I'm sure he could squeeze you in.”

“No, I don't need to see Theo," He said, rolling his eyes. “It's not me per se... But something feels different..”

As the three of them walked through the gate the old broom that sat next to the front door fell over. There was no reason for it, the ground didn't shake, the wind didn't blow, Draco narrowed his eyes at it before righting the broom with a flick of his wrist.

“Company’s coming.” Astoria said, cocking her head to the side, eyeing the broom curiously.

“That's an old wives tale,” Pansy muttered, linking her arm through the other girls as the trio walked down the street.

“According to some it can also be a sign of bad luck.” Draco said, falling into step next to the girls as they started down the street. “So I suppose it's however you want to take it.” He said with a shrug, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Don't encourage her," Pansy sighed, rolling her eyes. “She reads one muggle Wiccan book and suddenly she's sounding like Lovegood.”

“Hey!”

“Oh I know. Why do you think we broke up?” Draco laughed when Astoria smacked his arm. “She started talking about nargles or wingdings or whatever and I just had to cut her loose. Nevermind the fact that she was in love with my best mate.”

“You are absolutely horrid Draco Malfoy!” She cried, her cheeks flaming with a pretty pink color.

“But you still love me," He said, giving her a quick peck on the cheek as she huffed at him.

“Like an annoying older brother I can’t get rid of!” Astoria snarked, sticking her nose in the air as Pansy and Draco continued to chuckle a bit.

~*~*~*~*~

The Morning Magic Café was Pansy’s pride and joy. She had completely gutted the building and rebuilt it from scratch both with magic and the muggle way. She ran the place with an iron fist and her few employees loved her for it.

When she found the vacant building in town on their third week in the small hamlet, she all but ran home to tell them that she wanted to open a café.

No matter what the others said she was determined, so they all agreed to pitch in and help. Pansy would run the place, do all the hiring, and all the baking, Astoria would help with the customers and orders, Draco would take care of the finances, and Theo would gladly taste test anything. Zippy spent months teaching Pansy to make all the sweet treats, coffees, and teas that she knew. It was rough at first but Pansy got the hang of it very quickly and she found that she really loved it, whenever she succeeded she would present it to Zippy who almost cried with pride every time.

Unlocking the shop with the key she pulled from her purse Pansy opened the café, the bell on the door ringing at its movement, and started the morning chores. Flicking her wand around the room the lights turned on, the coffee machines and kettles started, and all the chairs floated from the tops of the tables into their normal positions on the floor.

Her and Astoria moved behind the counter to grab their aprons and as Pansy headed into the kitchen to start up the ovens and grab the drawer for the till in her locked office. Astoria moved around behind the counter, turning on the register and starting to remove the statis charms from the day old pastries, moving a few of them into the discount baskets to make room for the fresh ones Pansy was going to make today.

Draco watched as the girls worked for a moment before flipping the open sign and pulling his coat from his body, dropping it on the back of his usual seat at the table by the window. Taking a moment to look outside he still couldn’t shake off that feeling. Something was different. Not wrong just… off. He just couldn’t put his finger on it. Pushing one hand in the pocket of his trousers he moved behind the counter to grab his own breakfast like he did every morning. Perks of being the co-owner, he was allowed behind the counter. Grabbing a mug from the shelves above the coffee machines he went about making his second cup of tea before grabbing a muffin from the discount basket.

“Draco! I wasn’t done yet!” Astoria huffed again, swishing her hands in the air at him.

He only chuckled at her as he took a bite and left the area heading back to the table by the window.

“That’s going on your tab!” She called as she poked at the register with an annoyed sigh. “You’re getting high again!”

“I’ll pay it off next week!” He called back, and he absolutely refused to not pay for his food and drinks no matter how many times Pansy waved him off. Relaxing back in his seat he pulled a small book of crossword puzzles from the inside pocket of his coat next to his wand and a pen. He loved pens. So much more convenient than quills and ink pots. They already had the ink inside! Pulling the cap off of the pen he opened to a new page and started on the puzzle.

One across. Five letters. A female who does magic.

Smirking, Draco set his pen to paper. ‘Witch.’

~*~*~*~*~

Mornings at the café could go one of two ways at any given time. Slower than molasses or so busy that Draco had to step in and help with the orders.

Today was a slow day. Thank Merlin.

A few people wandered in looking for their morning pick me up on the way to work or school in Shanklin just up the road. Only took seven minutes by car, or at least that's what someone had told him anyway, Draco smiled into his cup of coffee as two of the older ladies in town, Mrs. Moores And Mrs. Lowe, sat loudly chatting over their cups of tea on the other side of the café.

That was their daily routine. They would come in, order tea and a few cakes, then sit and gossip while they shared the treats. Usually old Mrs. Payton joined them but her chair was currently vacant, she was either late or not coming today.

The bell on the door rang loudly as someone rushed through. Looking up he noticed it was the missing party, huffing and puffing as she let the door close behind her.

Just late then it seems.

“Ladies,” She cried, scurrying over to them, dropping her purse on her chair. “You'll never guess!”

“What's happened?!”

“Well tell us!”

“As I was walking over, Alice stopped me and she told me that Martha told her that her husband saw a car at the old dentist's cottage. He saw it on the way home last night! Said the lights were on in the house and everything!”

They sounded like a bunch of squawking hens in Draco’s opinion. He didn’t understand all the excitement. It was just a person in a house.

Astoria moved from behind the counter to pass a tea cup to the newcomer with a bright smile. “Good morning Mrs. Payton. Anything to eat?”

“Just one of those orange scones. Thank you dear.” She said politely to Astoria, who nodded and wandered off, as she sat down at the table with the other ladies. “She didn’t say if he saw who it was. Just that someone was there. I wonder if that family came back. No one’s been in that house for years! I was starting to think they sold it.”

“Here you are Mrs. Payton.” Astoria said, placing the plate in front of her.

“Thank you Tori, darling.” She said with a pleasant smile.

Pansy came out not long after with a bag in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, she smiled sending a quiet hello to the ladies as she walked over towards Draco. Placing the bag and a to go cup on the table in front of him she crossed her arms over her chest. “Turkey just how he likes it. There’s a bag of crisps in there as well. Don’t eat them this time!”

“It's not my fault he took forever to come get it from me.” Draco said, recapping his pen before he closed his crossword book, slipping both of them back into the inner pocket of his coat next to his wand.

Plunging her hand into the pocket of her apron she produced another bag of crisps and tossed them at him. “You can eat those.”

The bag of cheesy wotsits gleamed at him under the café lights. “Your negotiating skills still need some work. But your bribery is getting better.”

“Shut up and get out.” Pansy said, rolling her eyes trying to hide the smirk on her face as she started to clean his cup from the table.

“See you at home.” Chuckling, Draco stood from his seat pulling his coat from the back and slipping it on. Snatching up the bag of crisps, that he then stuffed into the pocket of his coat, he grabbed the cup and bagged lunch for Theo before he leaned down and kissed Pansy on the cheek, moving around her, and did the same to Astoria as she walked by, with the dirty plates from the ladies table in her hands, he nodded his head politely at the older women. “Have a good day ladies.”

The three old women giggled and cooed at him calling out their farewells as he left the café. Mrs. Moores turned to Pansy. “He’s such a charmer. Why haven’t you snatched him up yet?”

“Been there, done that Mrs. Moores.” Pansy said as she walked behind the counter. “He’s a better friend than a boyfriend. At least for me. Besides, he's had his eyes on someone else for a long time.”

The women tutted at her giving sympathetic sounds before they went back to their gossip and Pansy went back into the kitchen.

“So what's so special about this cottage?" Astoria asked as she wiped down Draco’s table with the towel from her apron.

“Well I guess nothing is special really,” Mrs. Lowe said, looking from the other ladies then to Astoria. “It’s just the family that owns the house hasn’t been back in town since ninety-six. They used to come every summer then just stopped. It was very strange. They were a lovely little family. Both parents were dentists in London, thus the name, and they had a little girl… She would be around your age now I think.”

“You’re from London too aren’t you?” Mrs. Moores asked, pointing a small boney finger at Astoria. “Perhaps you know them? Oh, now what was their name…”

Astoria gave a small shake of her head with a smile. “I’m from just outside of Cambridge. But I did spend a lot of time in London before I went off to school. My parents have a lot of friends there.”

“Excuse me ladies, I’ll have to steal Tori for a bit,” Pansy said as she came back out of the kitchen, flashing the other ladies another smile as she held out a few notes to Astoria. “We ran out of strawberries. Can you run to the grocer for me?”

“Yes, of course.” Astoria said, pulling her apron from her waist and passing it off to Pansy as she took the offered notes. “How many baskets?”

“Get three just to be safe. We should be getting a delivery in from Shanklin tomorrow.” Pansy answered, folding up the apron in her hands.

“Three baskets,” Astoria nodded, pocketing the money in her skirt. “I’ll be right back. Mrs. Lowe is about to run out of tea.”

“Can I get a new pot dear?” Mrs. Lowe said, holding up her empty teapot looking at the girls with a smile.

“Of course!” Pansy called with a nod, her eyes never leaving Astoria for a moment longer before moving to take the pot from the woman as Astoria turned on her heel and made her way out of the shop and down the street to the grocers. Maybe there was more to that muggle wiccan book than she thought.

The little shop was only a five minute walk around the corner from the café. The girls made little runs now and again when necessary, Theo wasn’t concerned, it was a small town they would be fine. But Draco was always a little nervous about it. He liked to know where everyone was at any given moment. They were all sure it stemmed from the lack of control he had during the war.

“Good morning!” Astoria called as she walked into the little shop with a wave to the owner who nodded back at her. It was a small shop that didn’t hold much, just the essentials for survival, household items, some fresh produce, a few coolers in the back held drinks and pre-made meals, that way one wouldn’t have to take a trip to the larger town for just one or two items. “Do you have any strawberries today?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, pointing over towards where the fruits and vegetables usually sat. He was a man of few words, and as far as she was aware the shop owner had a deal with a local farmer to get fresh items every few days, so everything was usually very tasty.

“Thank you!” Her heels clicked on the tile floor as she made her way to the spot the man pointed to so she could get a look at the berries. Pansy would only accept the best of the bunch.

It was as she was stacking the baskets of berries in her hands that a flash of brown curls caught her eye as someone walked in. Looking over Astoria blinked. It couldn’t be. Many people in the world had brown curls. Shaking her head Astoria grabbed the last little basket of strawberries and took them up to the front to pay. While the man was checking her out something just compelled her to look at the only other person in the store. She could hear them grabbing a few things in an aisle next to the register and when she leaned her upper body forward to get a better look she had to bite her tongue to keep the squeak she almost let out in shock.

It was Hermione Granger. She hadn’t seen her since the end of the war, though her photo did wind up in the papers quite often.

Taking a quick breath, Astoria paid the man with a tight smile on her face, took the bagged berries and change he handed over, and left the store with a rushed, “Thank you!”

As fast as her heels would allow she walked back down the street towards the café, her heels click, click, clicking in her hurried pace. She practically ran the last few steps into the café and the bell made a loud chiming noise as she pushed the door open. Smiling frantically at the ladies as she moved around the counter and into the kitchen. “Pansy!”

Looking up from where she was rolling out dough for some sweet dessert, she gave Astoria a curious once over. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Hermione Granger!” She said a little too loudly not caring about the ladies in the shop, plopping the bag on the counter next to an oven. “At the grocer.”

“Granger? Here?” A look of disbelief appeared on Pansy’s features.

Nodding her head frantically, Astoria wiped her sweaty palms on the skirt of her dress. “I don’t think she noticed me or if she did she didn’t recognize me.”

“Holy shit.”

“Granger!” One of the older ladies said with a clap of her hands, in their shock the two Slytherins couldn’t tell you which one was speaking. “That was the name of the family!”

“Yes! That’s right! Their daughter must be in town and at the cottage!” Mrs. Payton said with a smile.

Pansy and Astoria stood in the doorway to the kitchen now, watching as the three old biddies continued to gossip about the Granger family. Taking a harsh breath Astoria looked up at Pansy as Pansy looked down at her. “We need to tell Draco.”

All Astoria could do was nod.

~*~*~*~*~

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[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter Two: It was Stupid

Summary: Hermione makes a choice.

Words: 4K

Warnings: 18+, Thoughts of suicide.

A/N: Back again with the second chapter! Hope you all enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~

With a groan Hermione woke up face down on the couch in her living room. Her head was pounding and her chest felt like it would split her rib cage in two. Coughing to clear the tight feeling from her throat she wiped her eyes, grimacing as she saw the remains of yesterday's makeup on the paleness of her knuckles. The skin on her face felt tight and itchy from her tears and she just knew there would be indents on her cheeks from the couch cushion. Pushing herself up into a sitting position she let out a whine as her head protested the movement, at this point in time she couldn’t tell what hurt more; her head or her chest. Pain potion. She needed a pain potion. With one deep breath she grunted as she stood up, wobbling a bit in her unsteady state before taking a shuffled step blinking as her foot kicked against something, the sound of rolling glass reaching her ears as it clinked into another glass.

Looking down she saw a second empty bottle of wine laying on its side on the rug next to the first and to her surprise a half drunk open bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey. That explained so much. Nausea rolled in her stomach and forced her to sit down again. Holding her hand out towards the front door she mumbled, “Accio beaded bag.”

Her hand was empty for a few seconds longer than she anticipated and when she looked up she was able to grab the bag as it flew towards her at an unpredictable speed. It was like it couldn’t make up its mind if it wanted to go slowly or move fast causing it to bob in an uncoordinated way. Looking at the bag she sighed. Her magic was dwindling, that’s what Healer Greenwich had said. This curse was taking it from her. Or maybe she just wasn't as good with wandless magic as she thought.

Pulling the top of her bag open she dug around looking for the bag of potions she got yesterday. Not finding it at the top she groaned and pushed her whole arm up to her shoulder into it until she was able to grab the item she was looking for. Pulling it out, with a bit of a struggle, Hermione set both bags on the couch next to her and started to rummage through the bag of potions until she found one for her pain. This was a two birds one stone situation, she would knock out the headache and the pain in her chest in one gulp. Downing the liquid in the vial she sat back on the couch, eyes closed as she waited for the cure for at least this to kick in.

Crookshank meowed as he jumped on the coffee table and sat down to level her with a look. It was like he was disappointed in her. He made a displeased growl in his throat when she didn’t look at him right away.

Peeking one eye open she sighed letting the little vial join the other empty bottles on the floor to clean up later. “I know. I know, it was stupid.”

He made another displeased sound before he stood up and jumped from the table to land on the couch next to her, using his head to bump into her arm.

Lifting her hand she rubbed behind his ears as more tears came to her eyes. She was already getting very tired of crying. “What am I going to do Crooks?”

The half kneazle purred as he moved farther onto her lap, his tiny cat paws pushing into her thighs almost painfully as he nuzzled close to her.

Wrapping her arms around the fluffy creature she buried her face in his fur and cried. She cried for herself, she cried for Ron, she cried for her parents who would never remember her, and she cried for the future she would never have.

~*~*~*~*~

She didn’t know how long she sat there crying into her cat but when she was finally able to pull herself away from her familiar his coat was waterlogged. “Oh, I’m sorry. Merlin, I’m such a mess.”

Sniffing a little she wiped at her eyes not at all carrying about yesterday's makeup any longer and let the cat jump from her lap. She turned to the side a little to push the bag of potions back into her beaded bag and pulled out her wand from the pocket of her wrinkled cardigan that she never took off last night using it to twist her hair up off the back of her neck. Now that her head wasn't pounding in her skull and her chest felt almost normal she was able to think a little more clearly.

Hermione looked at her shame on the floor: two empty wine bottles, a half empty bottle of firewhiskey, and a pain potion. Today was not starting out well. Grabbing the whiskey bottle she searched the lower floor of the house for the cap before she found it in the kitchen, grabbing it she twisted it back on, and placed the offending drink into the cupboard so she would no longer have to see it. Just the cinnamon scent of it made her want to throw up.

Crookshanks meows up at her from his spot in the kitchen, knocking his paw into the metal bowl annoyingly, a signal that he was clearly wasting away with no food in his bowl, letting out a little chuckle Hermione grabbed the bowl and scooped some dry kibble into it before putting it back on the floor for him, petting his head as he starts to devour the food like he’s never seen food before. “Slow down or you’ll make yourself sick.”

Moving back into the living room she grabbed the two wine bottles and the small potion vial and tossed them in the rubbish bin on her way up the stairs into her and Ron's room. Well just her room now. That would take some getting used to. She came to a stop in the doorway looking at the empty spaces that once held all of his things, the spot on the dresser that used to hold his colognes and other random bottles, the bookshelves and wall space that usually housed his knick knacks and Quidditch memorabilia. She didn't even want to look at his side of the wardrobe.

With a shake of her head, Hermione moved around the room gathering her most comfortable clothes from the dresser before heading to the attached bath to take a shower. Tossing her clothes on the counter she pulled a towel from the cabinet below the sink before tossing that on the counter as well. Pulling her wand from her hair she flicked it at the shower waiting to hear the water turn on and when it didn’t she placed her wand on the counter and turned it on herself with a sigh.

This was awful, she hadn’t realized how often she used magic until it stopped working for her.

Her shower took her longer than she thought when halfway through it she just sat on the floor letting the warm water hit her shoulders when she grew too tired to continue to wash her hair standing up. She would finish her cleaning sitting on that tile and when she was done washing away the last bit of conditioner from her hair, she turned her upper body at an awkward angle to lean up and turned the water off with the tips of her fingers before she settled back down. Pulling her fingers through her wet curls she carefully detangled the strands and squeezed the extra water out before she felt like she had the energy to actually get out. Carefully, she stood up on shaky limbs and stepped from the shower grabbing the towel to dry herself off before getting dressed, she felt a little more human now that she was free of yesterday's makeup and two days worth of salty tear stains.

The next handful of minutes were spent brushing her teeth and starting on her hair, treating it with the products that Ginny had convinced her to buy to help her curls not be so unruly. Letting the hair coil into her palms as she scrunched them up towards her scalp and squeezed. Over and over again. By the time she was done, her curls were sitting nicely, and she was ready for a nap but as she stepped from her bathroom towards her very inviting bed she heard the floo in the living room flare to life.

“‘Mione?” A voice called.

Harry.

“I can’t believe him!”

And that would be Ginny.

Closing her eyes she prepared for the visit, moving back into the bathroom she grabbed her wand slipping it into her back pocket, before she left the room and headed down the stairs to greet her guests. Plastering a smile on her face for them that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Hey.”

The two, or three of them she should say, turned to look at her. Well the adults did, little James was cuddled up to his mother’s chest as she held him close wiping soot from his soft patch of dark hair. Harry was the first to move as he dropped the baby bag and rounded the couch to pull her into a hug. “Are you okay?”

“Harry, I’m fine. It’s just a break up.” She hugged him back before stepping from the stairs to greet Ginny with a gentle hug as to not squish the one month old she held. “Not that I’m unhappy to see you both but what are you doing here? Is it safe to travel with the baby through the floo?”

Harry followed her into the living room again, coming to stand next to his wife. “His healer said it was fine and Molly said she did it with all of them while they were little. So it seems to be okay.”

“It’s probably what scrambled my idiot brother's brain.” Ginny muttered angrily as she handed off the baby to Hermione who was holding her hands out for the tiny human. “He was just sitting at the kitchen table with Mum yelling at him like it was nothing when we floo’d over this morning to visit. When I asked where you were he just shrugged and said ‘Dunno, probably at home. We broke up last night.’ and when I asked why he took a drink of his tea like it was nothing and just muttered, ‘I think she cheated on me.’ Then he stopped listening completely to all of us when we tried to tell him you wouldn’t do that. I mean you wouldn’t… Right?”

Hermione huffed as she shifted the baby in her arms to a more comfortable position and shook her head, her chest pulsing in only a slightly dull ache to the accusation thanks to the potion she took. “I have never cheated on Ron and when I tried to tell him, he wouldn’t let me get a word in.”

“Tosser,” Ginny grumbled, her arms crossing over her chest.

“You know how Ron gets. He’ll come around. Eventually.” Harry said, rubbing his wife’s back in a calming motion.

“Come into the kitchen,” Hermione said as she started walking towards the door. “I’ll make us some tea.”

“I got it. You two sit.” Harry said, ushering the two girls into chairs at the kitchen table before moving towards the kettle that sat on the stove. Once the flame under it was lit he moved around the kitchen grabbing mugs as well as the milk and sugar, carefully balancing everything in his hands to bring them back to the table.

“How are you really?” Ginny asked as she took a few items out of Harry’s hands to set on the table top before he dropped anything.

“I’m fine, really.” Hermione said, using the knuckle on her pointer finger to gently caress James's little cheek. “It just happened so fast. I really wish he wouldn't get so far into his own head. I swear he still thinks we slept together, Harry.”

“I told him many times that we haven’t.” Harry said, shaking his head.

“He needs to get his head out of his arse.” Ginny grumbled as Harry went back into the kitchen to grab the tin of tea out of the cupboard.

“Let’s change the subject.” Harry suggested as he removed the now whistling kettle from the stove bringing it over to the table to pour the water. “How’s work? I heard you had a new bill pass.”

They spoke about anything and everything but Ron as they drank their tea. Hermione’s new centaur rights bill that just passed, Harry talked about how he was well on his way to be Head Auror, and how Ginny was still on Maternity leave from the Harpies but was expected to be back on the broom before the holidays. It was nice, just catching up. She hasn’t been able to see them much with the new baby. But she understood. Parenthood was tough and they looked exhausted but also content.

She watched the two of them as they joked and smiled, Harry pampered Ginny the whole time. He was attentive to her needs in every way. Made her tea just the way she liked it. She would huff and argue with him that she was fully capable of doing things like grabbing the tin off biscuits, that she knew Hermione always kept in the cupboard, on her own and he would argue back that she just had a baby and was still healing and to let him take care of her. Ginny would roll her eyes and let him anyway a small smile on her face. A little part of Hermione was… jealous... She would never have that. Not with Ron, not with anyone.

In that moment as she cuddled James to her chest, she knew she could never tell them. They were so happy. They just had a baby and a whole life together to worry about. She couldn't add any stress to their lives by mentioning she was dying. There wasn't anything they could do about it anyway. She wondered if they would ever forgive her.

“I was thinking of getting out of town for a while.” Hermione said, placing her mug on the table, careful not to jostle the baby too much. “My parents have a cottage on the Isle of Wight. I thought I would go and clear my head. Figure out what I want to do. I have more than enough hours saved up to take some time off work.”

“Alone?” Harry asked his brows meeting in the middle in confusion. He didn’t like when anyone he cared about was too far from him. At least at home he knew she was safe in the wards he had paid a ward expert to place on her house. She put up a fight on that one. She was able to ward her own home, thank you very much. “Is it safe?”

“I can put wards around the cottage when I get there. It’s in a muggle hamlet. I don't think there is much danger there.” She looked down at James as he woke a bit and started to whine.

“He must be hungry,” Ginny said, holding her arms out to take her son. “Will you be able to floo there?”

Shaking her head Hermione passed the baby to his mom. “We haven’t been there since before the war. Never got around to connecting a floo.”

“How are you getting there?”

“Dad's car is still in the drive. I was just going to drive down and then take the ferry. Should only be a three hour trip, maybe four.”

“What’s this place called?” Harry asked, watching as Ginny moved the baby into a more comfortable position in her arms and got up to feed him in the living room. Still close enough to be part of the conversation but far enough that she wouldn’t flash them. Not like it bothered either of them, breastfeeding was completely natural.

“Luccombe.”

“I don’t know ‘Mione,” Harry sighed, taking a drink of his tea. “I know you can take care of yourself and you’re going to do what you want but I don’t like that I can’t get to you if you need help.”

“I’ll be fine, Harry. I’m a big girl and I can be on my own.” She said, rolling her eyes. Overprotective, that one. But she guessed he had a reason to be, he had lost so many in his short life.

“I know. I just worry.” He sighed, taking his glasses off to rub his eyes. “Can you at least give me the address?”

“Yeah I can do that.” She nodded. Looking back into the living room she watched as Crookshanks jumped onto the couch, his little nose sniffing the baby before he gently bumped his head against James. “Would you be able to take Crooks home with you while I’m gone? I can’t leave him here alone and I don’t want to stress him out too much with the travel. He's at least familiar with Grimmauld Place.”

Harry looked over at Ginny who was smiling down at their son and the cat. She nodded her head in confirmation at his curious look.

Crooks may have hated Ron but he sure loved Ginny and Harry. Plus he seemed to like the new addition. He would be good for them.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

“I’ll pack his stuff for you before you leave. Thank you guys.”

Harry nodded his head as he looked back over at her. His eyes held something she couldn’t decipher at the moment. “Why do I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me?”

Hermione’s heart skipped a beat pain blooming a bit at the motion. She should tell him. Someone should know shouldn’t they? But instead she just smiled and shook her head. “There’s not. No need to worry. I just need to get out of the house for a bit. Be in a place Ron never was.”

Harry looked at her like he wasn't sure but he nodded anyway dropping the subject. He knew she would have said something if anything was wrong other than just being sad over a break up. At least he thought she would.

~*~*~*~*~

Hermione felt like her world had been covered in a sheer fabric layer of gray and blue as she gave Crookshanks one last kiss on his fuzzy little head before handing him over to Harry as he meowed at her. “You be good. The address is in his bag.”

“Let us know when you are on your way back and he’ll be here to greet you.” Harry smiled, adjusting the baby bag and the bag of cat things onto his shoulders more securely as Ginny grabbed a handful of floo powder in her free hand.

“Thanks.” She nodded watching as the little family stepped into the floo Harry wrapping his arm around Ginny for a ride along. Hermione waved as Ginny tossed the powder down, calling out for their home, and in a whoosh of green they were gone.

Taking a stuttering breath, Hermione backed away from the fireplace landing ungracefully in her fathers favorite chair. Wiping at her eyes with her sleeve as she leaned back, pulling her legs up onto the cushion and curled herself into as small of a ball as she could. Her chest was hurting and she felt like her throat was closing up but she tried her best to breathe through it. She felt like she really needed to get her shit together, she had to pack for her trip, had to pack the house up to make it easier for whoever came to clean up after she was gone. Because Hermione knew the moment she decided to go to Luccombe she was never coming back. The potion in her bag would make sure of it. She would die but she would do it on her terms. She just needed to get up. And she would… tomorrow. She needed just one more night of feeling sorry for herself first.

~*~*~*~*~

By afternoon the next day Hermione was walking around the upstairs guest room, using her wand to pack away all the items in the room into the boxes she had conjured. For the moment her magic was working for her and she was going to take advantage of it. It was making it easier, faster, to pack the house up. So far she had done the living room, kitchen, her old room, the guest bath, and now she was working on the guest room. All she had to do was pack up her room and bathroom and it would be done. Her whole life, her parents' lives, packed away neatly into boxes so Harry, or whoever came to sell the home for her, could give to charity when she was gone.

Last night she took the time to write her resignation letter to her boss at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures explaining her immediate departure from the ministry. She sent it out this morning after bribing a post owl with way too many treats.

There was no post on Sundays after all.

With one last swish of her wand the final books landed in the only open box and she sighed sitting on the mattress to catch her breath. Using her magic was taking its toll. Hermione hated how tired she was getting now.

After another moment she got up, grabbed her beaded bag from the top of the empty dresser and walked into her room, the one that used to be her parents, with a sigh she tossed her bag on the empty mattress and started to empty out her wardrobe the muggle way. Slowly she shifted through her clothes tossing she wanted with her and the ones for charity into two different piles. It took her almost two hours to clean out her room and bathroom and packed everything she was taking with her into her beaded bag and the rest into boxes. With one last look around her room she grabbed the photo of her parents from her nightstand and shoved it into the bag as well. She wanted them with her when she passed.

Pulling the ties of her bag closed she grabbed the bag and left the room, heading down the stairs to the living room she set the little beaded thing on the couch that she had covered in sheets to keep the dust off and made one more sweep of the lower floor making sure all the doors were locked and the lights were off, nodding to herself when all seemed well she headed back into the living room to grab her the bag once again. Pulling it open she pushed her arm inside and pulled out the letters she wrote to her loved ones last night and placed the tied bundle on the coffee table next to the box of things she was giving to her friends. “I hope all of you can forgive me one day.”

Putting her arm back into the bag she pulled out two vials, a pain potion and a calming draught, drinking them both down quickly to settle her nerves for her trip before dumping the empty bottles back into her bag and hung it from her wrist while she moved into the kitchen to grab the box of perishables she pulled from her fridge and cupboards. She had to make a quick stop at a food bank to drop off her donations, no use in wasting all this food. Setting the box on her hip, she grabbed the keys from the nail on the wall and headed to the front door. She stopped and looked around again, blinking back tears before she opened the door and left the house. Locking it behind her.

She would miss this house, she would miss her life, and the people in it.

She would miss a lot of things.

Placing the box into the passenger seat as she slid behind the wheel and with a twist of the key in the ignition she started the car, backing it down the drive and without a second look in the rearview mirror Hermione was on her way.

~*~*~*~*~

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[puzzlingmagic]

Chapter One: Dying Alone

Summary: Hermione's life is changed forever.

Words: 4.2K

Warnings: 18+, Talks of medical conditions, break ups, and death.

A/N: Hello! Welcome to my first Dramione story! I hope you enjoy it enough to continue reading after this first chapter!

~*~*~*~*~

June 2004

“I’m sorry Miss Granger..” The Healer said; Hermione could hear the pity in his voice, it made her chest constrict painfully. Or was that the curse? She couldn't tell anymore. “There’s nothing more we can do. I’m afraid it’s terminal.”

Terminal.

That was never good. She remembered that word from when old Mr. Harris next door got sick when she was seven. Cancer her parents had said. He was gone a few weeks later. Would she go just as quickly?

Closing her eyes she fisted her hands into the skirt of her sundress, the fabric keeping her nails from piercing the skin on her palms. Trying to keep her voice from shaking she took a deep breath and looked at the man across the desk from her. “You're sure?”

“Unfortunately,” Healer Greenwich sighed, closing her file he set his folded hands on top of it as he leaned forward a bit. “We have exhausted all treatments and nothing has shown any sort of improvement. I'm sorry.” 

Blinking the tears from her eyes she lifted her head up towards the ceiling. “How long?”

“Given the rate at which it's spreading and how your magic is depleting, I'd say three months, maybe four if you're lucky. All we can do now is set you up with a few potions to hopefully make this transition easier and when the time comes we can help you pass peacefully.”

So that was it then.

Nodding, she took a fortifying breath. Feeling her throat start to close with emotion, she weakly pushed out. “Okay… okay.” 

The room went quiet again, the only sounds were the scratching of a quill on parchment and their breathing. Unclenching her hands from her skirt she brought the trembling appendage to her chest trying to rub the pain away. It wouldn't help. It never did. 

It started a year ago. The pain in her chest. Not enough to worry her, honestly, she thought it was just anxiety or a pulled muscle from stretching weird. She spent a lot of time hunched over her desk at the ministry and when she finally allowed herself to move she could feel her joints pop and her muscles constrict in odd ways. She just brushed it off with the thought that it would go away after a few days. It didn't. 

It finally took her not being able to get a full breath in without her chest feeling like a hippogriff was crushing it that she finally caved and went to St. Mungos. The Healers couldn’t figure it out. So they asked about her medical history, her allergies, if she had been working on potions, or with any magical plants. Through painful short breaths she told them no, but did go into detail about Antonin Dolohov's flame whip and how Madam Pomfrey had cured it in fifth year. How Bellatrix Lestrange tortured her on the drawing room floor of Malfoy Manor. Her tests were showing that she was in significant pain but everything diagnostic charm they performed came back normal. No one knew what was happening. 

It wasn't until one random healer with a pair of modified Omnioculars found the issue that turned her into a medical mystery. There was a mass sitting on the bottom of her left lung the size of a snitch. It had fused with the tissue and made itself at home. Bringing with it a curse. And it was growing, spreading like roots in the ground, taking up valuable space in her lungs and pressing them against her heart. And the thing that made the curse grow? Her very own magical core. It would take her magic and use it to burrow deeper, spreading until she suffocated. Slowly. Painfully. 

She's been every week at St. Mungos since then so they can observe and make attempts at healing it. But nothing helped. No healer, potion master, or curse breaker was successful. Not even the Unspeakable they called in was able to do anything about it.  

So in no uncertain terms… She was a dead woman walking. Another victim of the Second Wizarding War and it was all thanks to Antonin Dolohov. At least they assumed it was him. He was the only one to hit her in the chest, and with a curse that could have killed her on the spot if she hadn't silenced him beforehand. It may not have gotten her then but it sure as hell was doing its best now. All those potions Madam Pomfrey made her take and somehow this small bit was missed. So it sat there feeding off her for years until it could finally take her out. 

She had to hand it to Dolohov. Wherever the hell he was, he sure knew how to get in one last fuck you to the Mudblood. An unbreakable curse sitting in her chest like a time bomb. 

“Here are your prescriptions. Just the normal ones; pain potion, calming draught, and dreamless sleep if you need it. This should be enough for a few months.” 

“Thank you.” She mumbled as she leaned forward to take the paperwork from him. The three pieces of parchment feel heavy in her hand. Her end of life care plan. Potions to make her life easier as she slowly suffocated and they finally put her out of her misery. “Can I get a copy of the new papers for my records please?”

“Of course. Just give me a moment.” They usually didn't do this but she was a special case. She wanted to have something that showed they tried. Something she could look at when she had questions or needed a moment to just stare at her own mortality. With a wave of his wand and a muttered spell, he made a copy of the new pages and handed them over to her. “Here you are. Please don't hesitate to come back if anything feels wrong or you need assistance and when you’re ready we can make you as comfortable as we can. I'm sorry we couldn't do more.” 

Nodding, she said a quiet farewell and shoved all the papers into her beaded bag. It's the one she's had since the war, the one she keeps everything in. It brings her peace knowing that everything she needs is at her fingertips. Crossing her arms around her middle she walks slowly from the Healers office and to the lifts that would take her out into the lobby and out of St. Mungos. The fresh air felt nice on her skin and in her ruined lungs. With every breath she could feel the curse taking up more and more space, she thinks she could feel the tendrils moving as it feasted on her magic, spreading like ivy. Choking her from the inside. 

Shaking her head she pulls her light cardigan closer around her and starts off down the street. That appointment didn’t take as long as she thought it was going to and now she made her way down the street towards the Leaky so she could head into Diagon Alley. She needed to grab her new batch of potions before she headed home for the night. 

It was odd watching people as she walked, her flats barely making a sound on the concrete as she passed others on the street. All these people moving about their lives while she felt like hers had come to a screeching halt. 

‘Four months if I’m lucky…’  Sighing, she continued towards the old pub. The streets around her seemed to blur as she moved through the quickly growing crowds and loud cars as Hermione lost herself in her thoughts. Once she recognized the street she was on she looked at the sign when it came into view and gave a slight smile, she remembered seeing that sign for the first time when she was eleven. The first time her and her parents had entered into the magical world to collect her school things for her first year at Hogwarts. 

She missed her parents more than anything at times like this, all she wanted to do was curl up with her mum while she played with her hair and her dad made them all tea. She had made the decision during the war that with one simple spell she would erase herself from their lives and send them off. To protect them from the evils that were trying to eradicate her and her kind. Once it was over she made the trip to Melbourne to bring them home, but she had underestimated her abilities and no matter how hard she tried there was no bringing their memories back. Leaving them to live their lives in Australia was the best solution for them. It was that or insanity according to the Australian Ministry. Now they would never know about the death of their only daughter left behind here in England. 

Pushing the old door open she gave a wave to Hannah Abbott behind the bar as she headed through the spread out tables and towards the back of the pub that would take her to Diagon. Hannah had taken over as owner and landlady of the pub after poor Tom had passed away two years ago. Closing the back entrance behind her she pulled out her wand and tapped the bricks that blocked her path waiting patiently as it scraped and shifted out of the way for her. Moving through the barrier she nodded her head to a few people who called out to her as she made her way to the northside of the alley, she could see the apothecary just up ahead and was able to slip inside before she was called again.

A bell rang above her head as she entered. 

“Just a minute!” A voice called from the back. 

“Take your time!” She called in answer as she looked around. It was the same as it always was. Ingredients for brewing sat in jars and boxes on shelves and large barrels took up much floor space to the right side of the store while pre-made ready to buy potions sat on the left. Her potions, though common, wouldn't be there. The Healers at St. Mungos made hers a little stronger to help fight the pain in her chest that normal potions couldn’t control anymore. 

“Alright, sorry ‘bout tha- oh! Miss Granger! Pleasure to see ya again!” Bonnie smiled as she wiped her hands on her apron coming to stand behind the counter at the back of the store. “How are you feelin’? Any better?”

Hermione smiled at the older woman sadly and shook her head pulling open her bag to look for the papers. “Unfortunately no. It seems to have gotten worse. Healer Greenwich says there’s nothing to be done. I have a few prescriptions for some potions though if you have the time?”

“I’m sorry to ‘ear that. Of course, of course I ‘ave the time.” She said forlornly, holding her hand out for the pieces of parchment. Taking them gently from her hands she flipped through them and nodded her head. “Quite a bit more than normal…”

Hermione decided to ignore the sad look in her eyes. She’s come to know Bonnie and her husband, Atlas, very well over the last year. She would miss them when the time came.

“I’ve been stockin’ up for ya.” Bonnie said, looking over at her with a small smile. “Let me go get these. Shouldn’t take much time.”

“Thank you Bonnie,” Hermione muttered as she watched the witch head to the back to collect her potions. She knew Bonnie was aware of what was happening… She's been running this place long enough to know what this means. 

It only took twenty minutes for Bonnie to come back out with a bag full of the little clinking vials. Placing them on the counter she gave Hermione another small sad smile as she rang her out at the register. “Fifteen galleons, love.”

“That doesn’t seem like enough..” Hermione said, pulling her coin purse from her beaded bag and started to count the gold coins. 

“You ‘ave other things to worry about right now..” She said taking the coins once Hermione had pulled out fifteen. Placing them in the drawer, she closed it with her hip, and came around the counter pulling the younger witch into a hug. 

Tears stung her eyes as she hugged her back. She didn't know how badly she needed a hug. 

“You take care of yourself darlin’.” Bonnie mumbled into her hair before pulling back and rubbing her shoulders. 

“You as well.” Hermione nodded, wiping a finger under her eyes before taking the bag of potions and placing them in her beaded one. Giving a small wave she left the shop, her heart feeling heavy. She would most likely never see them again. Taking a shuddering breath, Hermione started to walk back down the Alley back towards the pub. She loved Diagon. Taking a moment to look around at all the shops that decorated the street, some old, some new, but everything felt the same. Gringotts still stood proudly at the end of the path, the inside of the bank and roof brand new thanks to her and the boys riding a dragon out of the vaults all those years ago. 

At times she missed all the adventures she, Harry, and Ron had gone on. 

Shaking her head, Hermione continued down her path. She stopped again when the sign for Knockturn Alley caught her eye… she had heard rumors… steeling her nerves she looked around for a second before starting down the street to the part of Diagon that not many people traveled. She had to see for herself if the rumors were true. 

~*~*~*~*~

An hour later Hermione found herself sitting on the patio of a small muggle Cafe, a barely touched lemon glaze scone and a half drunk cappuccino in front of her with one additional potion in her bag. 

The rumors had been true and it took some convincing but she had one. Just as a precaution she told herself, a way to end things on her terms. Picking up her cup she took a sip of the now warm drink and watched a child skip down the street holding her mother's hand. She used to do that. Played her own invisible game of hopscotch as she held her parents hands as they walked. She smiled a little.

Ron wanted children. Hell, she wanted children. Harry and Ginny just had little James a month ago and all the other Weasley brothers and wives had their own kids running around now. Her and Ron were the only ones left. But she couldn't give him what he wanted. She had been putting it off for a year now, not wanting to put the full responsibility of parenthood on his shoulders if she died, not to mention she didn't know what this curse would do to an unborn child. She didn't have enough time left to go through a full pregnancy. In all honesty she had been hoping the Healers could do something but… she’d have to tell Ron. Tonight. She couldn't keep hiding this from him. 

Taking a second bite of her scone, her stomach twisted with unease, but she finished her coffee anyway and wrapped the rest of the pastry in a napkin for later. Her appetite had been dwindling recently, she wasn't sure if that was the curse or her new found depression but she decided not to think about it. Pulling her bag open she pulled out a few notes to place on the table to cover her bill and stacked her dishes for the waitress. Wrapping the strings of her bag around her wrist she stood up, said a quiet goodbye to the waitress coming her way, and headed home. 

It was time to face the music. The Healers told her that apparition was risky with her condition, all that twisting and pulling wasn’t good on her lungs, but she was tired of walking and just wanted to get home. Walking towards the nearest apparition point she looked around the alley before she pulled her wand from the extended pocket in her cardigan and with a twist she felt that pull at her naval and she was gone. Landing in a different alley a few houses down from hers. Hermione stumbled as she lost her footing, the world around her spinning for a moment as she dropped her wand. The pain surged, her heart beating double time, as her lungs constricted a bit, her throat tight. Wincing, she leaned against the wall behind her and coughed trying to clear the curse from her lungs that would never leave and after a few moments the pain dulled, her heart slowed, and her throat opened again leaving her to catch her breath before she was able to pick her wand back up and tuck it away again. Taking another moment to steady herself, she took a breath and moved one foot in front of the other, leaving the alley and down the street to her home.

Her parents' home really. The home she grew up in, the home she found out she was a witch in when Professor McGonagall visited with her Hogwarts letter. Standing outside the gates to the house she thought of her parents again. Her mum had planted flowers in her garden every summer and like clock work her dad would throw snowballs at them as they made snowmen before they wrapped themselves up in blankets and sat by the fire inside with hot chocolate when she was home for the holidays. Good memories, happy memories, the ones she thought about when she needed to bring out her patronus. Pushing the gate open she walked up the short walkway and opened the door letting it close behind her with a little click. Crookshanks greeted her at the door like he always did, meowing and purring as he did a little figure eight between her legs. Dropping her bag gently on the small table next to the door she smiled at her familiar. “Hello Crooks. Ron, I’m home!”

“In the living room.” 

The tone of his voice made her pause just as she bent down to pick up the half kneazle. Taking another breath she wrapped the furry creature into her arms and walked into the room giving him a small smile. “How was your day?”

Ron sat on the armchair next to the couch, his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “Fine. Yours?”

‘Could have been better…’ She thought as she took a seat on the couch, Crookshanks meowed as she sat him down on the couch next to her. “Fine. Ron there's something I nee-”   

“Are we alright?” 

“I’m sorry?” Hermione asked as she looked up at him in confusion.

“Us. Are we okay?” He asked again, looking up at her from under his lashes. He looked upset, but she couldn’t tell if it was anger or sadness that was currently playing on his features. She usually had an easier time telling his moods apart.

“Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?”

“It's just .. What's going on ‘Mione?” Ron sighed sadly, his expression was one of heartbreak. At least she was able to tell now that he was actually full on looking at her. “You're pulling away from me. You have been for months now. Did I do something?” 

“No! Merlin, Ron no. You- you didn't do anything.” Hermione said, leaning forward and shaking her head at him. “Wh-”

“Is it the idea of kids? I know Mum’s been pushing for them, we are the only ones left without them. Is that it? Do you not want any?”

“Ron… It's not that…”

“Then what?” He asked in exasperation. Blinking, he looked away from her for a moment, like he finally landed on a new thought that made him breath harshly, before quietly asking, “Are you cheating on me?”

“What?” Shaking her head Hermione looked at him in complete shock. Of all the things to accuse her of, that's what he chose? When had she ever given him that idea?!

“Just tell me the truth.”

“No Ronald! Why would you think that?!”

“What am I supposed to think? You think I don’t notice?” Ron sneered standing up from the chair to pace in front of the coffee table between them. “You’ve stopped any kind of intimacy I try to have with you for a while now. You leave work early once a week and when you come home it's well into the night and you're exhausted.”

“You honestly think I would do that to you?” She said standing up to be on equal ground with him. She hated when he would try to intimidate her with his height. Hermione felt her heart start to speed up and the pain pulsed just a bit making her take a moment to calm herself before she sighed, how could she explain to him that she was so exhausted because she was being used as a test subject at St. Mungos? “I would never do that. You know I would never do that.”

He just gave her a look that told her he wasn’t sure and she knew at that moment it would be pointless to try and convince him otherwise. If she told him now about her curse would he even believe her? Hermione knew he had a bit of a temper and when he let his mind wander he could convince himself of anything. Like when that damn locket was around his neck and he was so sure she and Harry had slept together on the Horcrux hunt. This many years later and she was still trying to get him to believe that it never happened.

Clearing his throat he shook his head biting his lip before he made up his mind. “I think we need some time away from each other.”

Hermione blinked at him. Shocked. This was not how she saw this conversation going. Softly she asked, “You’re breaking up with me?”

“It might be better for the both of us right now.” Ron said as he moved around the living room and towards the stairs that would lead him up to their shared room. “We need to clear our heads. Maybe we can try again in a few months after we’ve thought about what we really want. I’ll pack and go stay at my parents house for a while...”

But all she had left was a few months… This was all happening so fast. She felt like her world was collapsing as she listened to him walk up the stairs. After a moment she took her seat again on the couch with her face in her hands. She definitely couldn’t tell him now. He would either believe her and stay out of guilt or some perceived duty or he would think she was using it as an excuse to hide this so-called affair he had concocted in his mind and resent her for the rest of her very short life. Wiping at her eyes she leaned back on the couch, Crookshanks purring as he moved to cuddle up in her lap. He didn’t like it when his mistress was upset. Pawing at her hand, he rubbed his face on her palm when she moved it to give him absentminded pets. Today was just not her day.

~*~*~*~*~

Ron came down the stairs about an hour later two duffle bags filled with his things. She was sure he had to use a shrinking charm to get his Chudley Cannons memorabilia to fit inside at least one of them. Placing the bags down in front of the fireplace he turned to look at her where she stood in the kitchen doorway, a glass of wine in her hand and tears on her cheeks. “If you need anything you know where to find me.”

“Mhm,” She nodded as she emptied the glass in two large swallows. Licking the wine from her bottom lip she watched as he grabbed his bags, slinging them on his shoulders, and then grabbed a handful of floo powder from the mantle. They had connected it to the floo network when they took over the home. It was easier to travel that way. 

“I guess I’ll see you later then.” He said as he stepped into the fireplace. He gave her one last glance and she wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say at this point. But there was only one thing to say.

“Goodbye Ronald.” She muttered.

Nodding, he tossed the powder down and called out for the Burrow and in a whoosh of green smoke he was gone. For the first time in six years Hermione found herself completely and utterly alone. Looking down at the cat by her feet she let a tear drop from her lashes. “It’s just us now Crooks.”

With a choked sigh she wandered back into the kitchen, placed the empty glass in the sink, and grabbed the open bottle of wine from the counter taking a swig straight from the bottle. Who needed a wine glass anyway? Not bothering to wipe away her tears any longer she held up the bottle in a mock salute, “Here’s to dying alone.”

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter List - Forward

[puzzlingmagic]

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter One: Dying Alone

Chapter Two: It was Stupid

Chapter Three: Company's Coming

Chapter Four: Do shut up Agnes

Chapter Five: You Did

Chapter Six: Liquid Freedom

~*~*~*~*~

[puzzlingmagic]

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[puzzlingmagic]

Masterlist

My Days

Story Summary: It’s been six years since the Battle of Hogwarts and eight years since the Battle in the Department of Mysteries. Voldemort is dead and his Death Eaters are a thing of the past. Life moves on for all… except for Hermione Granger. Thanks to an incurable curse she’s about to be another victim of the Second Wizarding War.

Pairing: Potion Master! Draco Malfoy x Dying! Hermione Granger

Word Count: TBD Chapters: TBD

Status: In Progress