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"im gay" "im straight" well im one of those pitiful things sometimes born in hospitals. they feed it, keep it warm, yet they dont put it on the machines. they let it die. but he doesnt die. he looks normal, and nobody can tell what he is.

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this is two of my favorite things, eating and drinking, i do it all the time. and it talks about my country too. and the pictures will keep me busy for a while

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for my first wish i wish that all two humped camels were actually bigger than one humped camels because that just seems like a more fun logic

genie: ok honestly that one is on the house

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all the wired up combat dolls who get chemically molested by their handlers keep making fun of me because my mechs are all cheap shitboxes due to my habit of loading them with c4 and eject-ramming fools at mach speed, if any of the jerked-off-with-neurodes brigade tried half the shit I get away with theyd be bad-ended something fierce but I get results so the brass look the other way

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my kid was actually born normal but i wanted to be an autism mom so badly. fortunately my unrelenting invasions of his privacy and lack of respect for his feelings and boundaries have made him legitimately mentally ill and developmentally stunted

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girl is your name chicken tenders because im trying to order you at an expensive restaurant

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A lonely man was spotted playing with toys in his room. By himself. With toys.

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(sexting for the first time) i love you

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Mad biologist has created a pig-chicken hybrid that certainly won't kill people this time

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nobody ever thinks of me and jerks off because i have a rotten soul

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