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girl wghatever

the gorbachav meme or however u spell it is already crazy bc ppl are making up lore about this fictional movie to the point where i believed it and i didnt do any follow up. like i took this as face value. what does this say about me

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changed my pfp to Kani

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changed my pfp to Kani

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changed my pfp to Kani

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changed my pfp to Kani

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grandma burger desperation

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We all have that one mutual that doesn't follow us

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I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

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i'm making ants drink whiskey

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i’m le.arning so many rules toda📝y

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hi. fuck ice. here is how you can help families affected by unlawful deportation

edit: and FUCK LAPD. here is how you can help bail out protestors who are in the trenches, facing mass arrests and putting their bodies on the line.

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ellie goulding: but yes i often do wonder... what would happen if a passenger plane tried to fly into space. maybe we should try it! *she laughs*

me: no for sure... *sighs and is evidently nervous but tries not to be a bitch about it*

ellie: whats wrong luv? you haven't touched your plate a whole lot..

me: no yeah i am sorry. its probably that dubai chocolate i had... brb

me: *at the ladies room* ugh i know this is our third date but i really should tell her about her if we want to be serious, i am tired of settling for less. let me call her and see where she is *dials*

tonya: *answers* hi

me: there you are my baby, how are you holding up? have u had your hay? mommy will be back soon. =)

tonya: im ok mama

me: *sigh of relief*. i will tell her baby. i think she is the one.

tonya: ok mama

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random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

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making a collection