quacksmith

[quacksmith]

Look, I haven't USED livejournal since like 2014 but like... I feel so old right now. Especially since this wasn't even my first LJ account.

[quacksmith]

Biting each other does seem like a likely consequence of not having food stockpiles, yes.

derin have you heard about the cheese caves? because i think you’d enjoy them

This is also, incidentally, a huge part of why we grew up under the vague impression that if we didn't constantly chug milk then all of our bones would crumble to dust.

[quacksmith]

[quacksmith]

it's good that the word "four" is "four" letters long

[quacksmith]

Who has Sunday?!

Taking the myth of Ra’s nightly journey way too literally for a second, on a round earth since he dies every night and is resurrected every morning is Ra always simultaneously alive and dead, does his alive state change depending on the viewer, or is the opposite side of the world from Egypt and therefore most of the Pacific Ocean actually the land of the dead

[quacksmith]

No tech CEO or NYT bestselling novelist will ever match the creativity of a humble French postman who decided on a whim to spend thirty-three years building a surreal, majestic palace with the bricks and mortar of his dreams.

[quacksmith]

My toxic trait is that I like to take poorly thought-out worldbuilding from large media franchises that are clogged with decades of legacy cruft and retcons and try to hammer out something internally consistent, yet completely unintended by the rights-holders, then I insist that my interpretation is correct.

[quacksmith]

G’night cobber

I'm going to sleepyeepy now

goodnight <3

(someone say goodnight back pretty please)

[quacksmith]

I went orienteering and carried my friends heavy bag so we could go faster (I am competitive). She had brought a hairdryer to the woods.

ooc but i feel like this is valuable information, i went on school camp and my friend brought a literal kettle and toaster

friend: *squinting her eyes and wiggling her eyebrows as she reaches into her duffle bag and takes out a whole ass toaster, followed by a kettle*

[quacksmith]

What about torporific? Is that a word or did I imagine it?

[quacksmith]

A dark red and pale yellow picture of Ion from Jack Jeanne doing a and stand. @quacksmith asked for "chubby character of your choice doing a handstand" so here's Ion proving he is still a fit and flexible performer.

[quacksmith]

TiL (click to go to the thread, which probably has more interesting tidbits I missed).

Bonus:

[quacksmith]

Mustrum Ridcully (the Brown, but never to his face), Archchacellor of Unseen University, is literature's best and most astoundingly successful wrong man for the job.

Some context is important. Before ascending to the highest level of leadership within the Disc's premiere magical establishment for learning, the position of the Archchancellor was filled by whomever had successfully assassinated the previous occupant. The quickest way to move up in the world, literally speaking, was to make sure someone else dropped by an average of six feet. Of course, this led to a lot of power-hungry madmen who were convinced they could control the Forces Man Was Not Meant To Know, many of whom died with remarkably similar facial expressions when they were inevitably proven wrong.

Then along comes Mustrum. Unlike many wizards, he is an outdoorsman. He is loud. He is physically strong. He is a mountain man in a pointy hat who believes in keeping rare species rare by hunting them (and everything else he meets along the way). He is a sportsman and, generally, considered to be exhausting by the rest of the faculty.

He is also, seemingly, impossible to dispose of by the usual methods. On top of everything else, Mustrum Ridcully is a very powerful wizard. By the age of 27, he was a Seventh Level Wizard (out of Eight), and that was quite some time ago. Still, in a building of magical Oppenheimers and Einsteins, he is Theodore Roosevelt; loud, boorish, and utterly unmovable.

He has a one-track mind, and on that track runs the Ridcully Freight Train. He can focus like the sun through a magnifying glass when he wants to. He is not Stupid, but he can be a bit Daft. He would fight to the front of the line to push the button labelled 'Do Not Press, Ends World' before the paint can dry. As such, he can occasionally end up in situations no self-respecting Dumbledore or Gandalf would, but no one with half a brain would mention such things aloud for fear of being brought along on his next hunting trip or fishing expedition.

He mostly concerns himself with University affairs, taking particular glee in any legal motions a given idiot might attempt to bring against it. They have a whole pond full of people who have tried to sue the University, you see. But he also understands that the wizards, in order to be left to their own devices, should leave the world to all of the other devices.

Rare are the times when Ridcully NEEDS to step in to save the day. In fact, he never actually DOES so in any of the books. Certainly, he helps out. Does a thing here or provides a bit of information there. Despite this, however, there is never any doubt that were it absolutely required, Ridcully COULD end basically any conflict in the books with a pocket full of fireballs (9 times out of 10, anyway). That he does not, and that no one ever asks him to, speaks to the wisdom of the man and the face he shows to the world.

All the previous Archchancellors would have demanded to shape history and show off their power, you see. And they did.

But compared to his peers and especially previous holders of his job, Mustrum Ridcully is an extreme outlier and total oddity, but he is also the only Archchancellor of the UU to hold to job for more than one book. Obviously, it was the other Archchancellors who were wrong.

And Mustrum Ridcully is certainly the wrong man for the job. Here's hoping he keeps it forever.

[quacksmith]

Starting my speech at the Omelas city counsel with a child acknowledgement statement

[quacksmith]

In an effort to neutralize the chemical perm smells, my sweet, darling wife decided we should poor tomato juice all over her hair. So I took a can of stewed tomatoes, blended them up, and then gently poured them on my wife’s scalp like she was a pizza pie.

There were screams of disgust as the thick, cold sauce sludged its way through her hair. She then sat in the uncomfortable tub for 20 minutes to let it marinade.

After finding tomato seeds and residue still in her hair, she is now on her second? third? wash through. Sadly it has not neutralized the chemical smells, but I do feel loved.

My poor, sweet, thoughtful tomato wife.

[quacksmith]

I love the rodeo (bc of the danger and violence and hot cowboys ofc), but I have to emphasize just how comically, performatively patriotic it is at all times.

like. jesus. tonight after the announcer got done introducing the bullriders, he leaned into the mic and said, "And now we bring on the most precious cowgirl of all: Old Glory" and someone on a horse rode out carrying a giant american flag, and just...fuck. what the fuck.

the most precious cowgirl of all

and I was sitting there silently losing it, but then the horse reared up and the rider dropped the flag?? and the horse kinda stomped on it, and cowboys were running around trying to pick it up, but the flag was visibly dirt-stained by the time they got it off the ground.

and the cowboys were looking upset but the announcer said don't worry, it was fine, but that we should all ask for forgiveness, as if dropping a flag is an actual sin rather than just a weird american one, and holy shit. I wish I was funny enough to make up stuff like this. god bless america

[quacksmith]

Can I ask for chubby character of your choice doing a handstand? Muscley types hog all the handstands.

Art Prompts For Visibly Fat or Muscular Humanoid Characters

I struggle every time I have to draw a character who can't be approximated by a series of smooth cylinders, so thought I'd ask for some prompts to help me practice!

So! Please give me art prompts for visibly fat or muscular humanoid characters, preferably in a relatively realistic style (anime is ok but not like Johnny Bravo)

No more than 3 characters, nothing that requires a background or complex/many props. Give me an image reference if it's not something I can look up easily. Picking a pose from the references below or sending me your own would make my life easier!

Fanart or original, including stuff like "This character but fat" or "A man in this pose and this outfit", but not vague things like "A victorian outfit". Nothing too sexy, squicky, or containing zombies(*).

Anyone who follows me is welcome to prompt!

(*) I only have a problem with the mindless contagious sort, or really gross decay. Possessed/controlled corpses are fine but no skeletons for this prompt ;)

Fat poses:

Wider characters at Adorkastock

Plus Size Beauty Reference Pictures

Academic Female Poses

Chubby/Fat References

Plus size figure drawing reference

Muscular poses:

Male Character Design Reference Pictures

Bodies in Motion

Posemaniacs