questionthemasses-blog

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Child Support to end?

I keep seeing a fake news article floating around the internet suggesting Trump is abolishing child support and the mass amounts of rage that this idea seems to conjuring up. It's kind of hilarious. Let me explain my stance on the subject...

Child support in my opinion is more a punishment for bearing children then anything. In "most" situations, it's the woman who is filing for child support from the man regardless of how active he is in the child's life. See, I've met fathers who pay ridiculous amounts of child support and have their children with them on a regular basis, buy them things they need, even hand money to the mothers over and beyond the child support amount because they feel it's the right thing to do. I've also met women who sue for child support from a completely absent father as well. Oftentimes, mothers are suing for back child support as well, which usually equals one to two years worth of payments and automatically puts the father behind in payments making life very complicated, sometimes even preventing the father from being able to have a license, passport, even go as far as being reported to credit burous making it impossible to buy a car, a house, get a loan, or anything else you may need decent credit for making it virtually impossible for the father to be able to really create a good life for himself and ultimately the child.

It's an incredibly unfair system that favors vaginas. Yep. That's what I said. As a woman, who also has children, I fairy believe that as a woman, it is our duty to ensure that we can take care of our children alone. Without outside financial support. If you feel, you are mature and responsible enough for sex, then you should be aware that sex can lead to procreation and if you are unprepared to care for a child, possibly by yourself, then you either A) should be taking every possible measure to prevent pregnancy like using birth control, with condoms, the pull out method... Just everything or B) Stop fucking! Seriously. Just stop.

I am aware that it takes two people to make a baby but out of those two, only one of you can actually get pregnant and you are the one solely responsible for protecting yourself. I get so tired of women getting knocked up and fathers getting raped by the system afterwards. Maybe, you are the lucky girl, who's baby daddy turns out to be a stand up guy and provides for the baby regardless of whether yall are together or not, and maybe you're the not so lucky one who baby daddy split. Honestly, it's possible for either scenario to happen and I will never say it's OK for any parent to walk away from a child because it is their child, but the reality is that sometimes people fucking suck and I don't see why any woman would want to force a man to have anything to do with their lives or the lives of their children when he doesn't want to be, and that includes providing child support payments. All it does is create unnecessary stress with the parents and that in turn effects the kid(s). And the fathers who are around, helping with the kids, getting them what they need, etc and still being forced into child support are being screwed over so heavily. If he's in the picture and is being a good father, why the hell would you strap him with child support anyway?

In my experience, the system is hell for men. My fiance, has 2 kids with his ex-wife. After their divorce several years ago, she took him for 2yrs of back child support. How she managed it, idk because they had only been separated for one year when the order was filed (I mean how can you make a man pay child support for a child during a time when he was living with said child? Makes no sense)... It put him instantly $6000 behind in child support and he had to move 3hrs away to his mother's house so he would have a place to stay until he got back on his feet. He has to pay extra per support payment to pay off the large amount, this was also put on his credit report as a delinquent account, and he cannot get a passport to travel anywhere until the full amount is paid off. He hasn't gotten a tax return in 4yrs because it is taken to pay off this amount as well. He, calls his kids every single night and they come to stay with us for weeks at a time. He sends extra money when they need something randomly even if it means we, on our end, have to push a bill back, or go without something. He, is a good father, so why is his life being tormented by the burden of court ordered child support? Because, it's the law? Should a father only give what the court orders and nothing more to try and make it seem more fair for his life essentially being put on freeze for many years?

It's flawed, the system is, in so many ways. My children, do not receive court ordered child support, and I refuse to ever seek it. Their father, my ex-husband, does what he can for them and if he can't, we'll then it's my job to care for them and provide their needs. No one, should be forced to do something and that includes being a parent or paying support, as a woman, you should be stronger than that, more responsible than that, be the one who can do it all or don't do anything that could result in you being an unprepared, child support seeking baby mama. Our reproduction is our responsibility and no one else's. If you can't be a single parent, and do it on your own. You shouldn't have sex. Children cost money, but you should never use them as leverage, or for a payday. Period.

[questionthemasses-blog]

Texas Shooter... Who to blame?

Without going into a ton of detail I am sure we have all heard about the shooter in Texas recently who took the lives of around 26 people. I've read mixed things about this particular shooter but the few facts that seem to be constant are that he was in the military previously, he had a "record" for domestic abuse, including fracturing the skull of a child and going on base numerous times threatening the lives of other military men and women.

Until recently this information was not released to the public. The "record" was kept confidential due to military law and in turn, it kept a bad person on the streets,one who had also escaped an asylum before. Of course he was mentally unstable, that part is obvious. No person I their right mind would feel the need to do these things but what I don't understand is why the military feels the need to hide criminal records from the general public. Knowledge is power and with them refusing to let the world know what kind of things someone is capable of, they are putting the lives of every single other person out there I danger. I blame the law for what happened to those poor individuals that day. They were not protected by systems meant to keep us safe and they paid for that with their lives.

Honestly, our justice system has been flawed since forever. People are imprisoned who shouldn't be and those who should be, are running free, awaiting their moment to do wrong once again. Can we really blame the mentally sick and twisted individuals for doing what they've been known to do in the past.... Sure. We can and we will because they did it, no matter why or what they felt, they still chose to do harm but I personally blame those who didn't do their jobs and didn't lock this man away a long time ago. I'm sorry, but if any other person broke the skull of child, they'd get life in prison, no questions asked. This day, that shooting, could have been prevented had the people with proper authority done their jobs properly. Instead they let it go, and this what we got for it.

[questionthemasses-blog]

White "Privilege"... Legit or just Bullshit?

First off I'd like to say that there is, in fact a huge ordeal these days surrounding racism and it mainly spans from the many shootings we have seen where black people, African Americans, or whatever you want to call it, are being gunned down left and right. In some cases I understand why the cop decided to pull the trigger but in most, I'm left thinking "what the actual fuck!?!?" like the rest of you but that's not what I want to discuss today. Today I want to address this thing called "White Privilege."

You see I recently watched a video where a school teacher had all of his students line up to prepare for a foot race in which the winner of the race was to win $100. However, before the race began he decided to ask a series of questions and if the students could answer yes, then they were allowed to take two steps forward. A wonderful advantage that would later allow them to win with ease... And that is when I listened to each question and answered them myself and the results... As a twenty-seven year old white female, I'd like to inform everyone here that I'd be standing at the starting line along with every black person there.

You see the questions asked were things such as "Did you grow up with a father figure in the home?".... No, my father was an incredibly abusive alcoholic and we left when I was five years old to excape the torment, moving states away to try and ensure he wouldn't come after us. Another one said "Take two steps forward if you've never had to worry about your cell phone getting cut off!"... Again, I didn't even have a cell phone until I was 16 and that was after I got a job as a telemarketer to help my mother pay bills. But it still got turned off, because we simply could not afford a roof over our heads and a phone. That kills two birds with one stone because there was also a question regarding whether or not you've ever had to help your family with bills. Yet another question arose... Could you still go to college were it not for your athletic abilities? I may have laughed out loud at this one. I am smart, top of my class all through school, no athletic ability whatsoever... At least not after I shattered my knee one day after being tripped during a volleyball tournament and ramming my knee into the big metal covering over the wheels on the net posts. Let me explain, growing up I moved often... No, I moved a ton! Rarely did we stay in one house for more than 6 months and that meant new schools in different counties and all of them refusing to transfer credits because of the different school districts, in my case, being smart as hell meant shit to everyone else and after being held back twice in 9th grade, and twice in 10th grade for something I couldn't control. I said fuck it and quit school. No scholarships for me regardless of brains or athletic abilities and I sure as hell didn't have the cash to go to college. Instead I figured it out on my own. I took the test for my GED, and applied for financial aid like every single person should do! I got a grant for school and started college but again, that got screwed up too and I didn't actually get my degree... Colleges can be assholes.

My point here is that if we are being real, the color of our skin has absolutely nothing to do with what hand life deals us. In reality, every person is more a victim of their surroundings, of circumstances, then they are the color of their skin. Depending on who was present when you were a baby, where you lived, what job your mom or dad had, how stable or consistent things are in your life and what decisions you as an individual make as well, that is what builds up to the direction that your life goes. Maybe things start out horrible and you don't think you'll make it til you're 18, or maybe your family has it all together and you're born with a silver spoon in your mouth, I've seen both things happen with both races.

When I was fifteen years old, I was raped by a guy that my mother's boyfriend introduced me to. I was still a virgin and had an off feeling about the guy. He showed up one day while I was home alone and he apparently didn't like that I wasn't interested. My mother then broke it off with the boyfriend, blaming him for what happened but the boyfriend was completely obsessive and we had to move again, to try and put distance between us and him. It didn't work, 2 years later he saw us driving down the road and rammed our car with his truck. My mom tried to get away by driving down a dirt road but he caught up with us and hit us several more times before we made it to a gas station where witnesses were. He drove by and we thought it was over but a few minutes later he was back and T-boned the car where I was sitting, sending me flying across the car, seat belt broken, my head smashing into the glass. Somehow, his truck still managed to run though and he sped off. After the ambulance arrived I found out I had a concusion and 3 shifted vertebrae in my spine... An injury I still live with today. The vertebrae were able to realign but in the process a cluster of nerves were pinched between them leaving me with excruciating pain, every single day. The boyfriend? He got away. The cops never caught him. Bullshit right?

Tell me... Does any of this sound like a privilege to you?