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........ tbc of course

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“All night I feel their absence and I burn.”

- Warming her Pearls, Carol Ann Duffy

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my favourite song still belongs to you

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everything happens for a reason, maybe one day we’ll come back together and try again but for now you remain in my life as how we started. all of this torture reduced to friendship. you’re lying to yourself but i’m starting to believe it, my hopes have dwindled but i still love you - now as a friend

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nausea rises in my throat and an itch begins in my heart, this is not how i pictured it this is now how i imagined. my heartbeat shakes my body and my head is moved by my thoughts - i cannot believe this is how we end. we only just started? and yet its over? all of this yearning for what?

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you kissed me and breathed a sigh of relief and comfort that rippled through my soul and held my heart like you hold my face. with so much love and care you look into my eyes and my feelings are reflected in yours? i’ve wanted this for so long, my pretty girl.

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If you’re not amazed by the stars on a clear night then we won’t work.

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you’re like the sun, you are gentle and kind and i feel warmer for being around you. you reach everything and are everywhere i look, my god you are eternal.

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― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

[text ID: I am going to outlive myself. Eat, sleep, sleep, eat. Exist slowly, softly, like these trees, like a puddle of water, like the red bench in the streetcar.]

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i look at you and i see light, you are the sun. you embody warmth and kindness and i feel your gentle voice ring throughout my body when you speak. you are so sweet and tender, even to people who do not deserve it and somehow that makes you even kinder. i do not know how i have earned your friendship but i have and i yearn for more.

i could give you this softness, this gentleness back if you let me, you know i could. i don’t know if you know how i feel about you - surely you do? but my feelings have only gotten louder in their pleads and all i plead for is you.

being with you is like feeling the sun on your face in winter and i’ve never felt that from someone before. you’re different, kinder, softer, and i wish you could know that

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Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Véra

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Edgar Allan Poe, from a letter to Mrs. Maria Clemm, July 1849

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my god does he really feel the way i do? you fell asleep to the movie and it was the most peaceful thing id ever seen and your arm softly brushed mine in the night and your leg touched mine. you rested your head on my shoulder when you watched the film and apologised when you got too close. i could feel the distance sometimes but honestly i felt closer to you than ever. the softness and tenderness i feel towards you is unbearable but i will bear it for a while longer in case you realise that im right here.

im right here

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important announcement to make!!!!i love myself!!!!!!!the world is so full of joy and magic and i want to indulge in everything and every part of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i am so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!