rae-conteur
rae-conteur
Stories Sold Cheap
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Rae. 30+. Autistic. Bisexual. She/her. Would prefer not to be followed by minors, but doesn't have the spoons to card you.
Last active 4 hours ago
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
rae-conteur · 9 hours ago
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rae-conteur · 13 hours ago
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Or that they're just mad it's not meat.
Tofu can be cooked in a lot of the same ways as meat, but it will never taste or feel exactly like meat and that is okay! But if you're expecting a perfect substitution, you'll be disappointed.
people will tell you they hate tofu and think its disgusting and then you ask them how they prepared it and you find out they cooked it in the most disturbingly bland unseasoned way possible. like yeah no shit
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rae-conteur · 14 hours ago
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Counterpoint: my AP English teacher refused to give 100s on assignments - even if it met all the goals of the assignment with no mistakes - because "there's no such thing as perfect writing" and it absolutely infuriated me.
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rae-conteur · 15 hours ago
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I was re-watching the little mermaid and it got me thinking: it would have been so cool to be a guest to eric's weddings tbh
this guy's been raving about this mystery girl he says saved him and left him on the beach but nobody believes him, then he found a different girl in the same beach, proceeded to date her for a couple of days in front of the whole town, but then turns up with a different one (allegedly the first one) and decides he's marrying her on the spot
and you're like, sure, I need to see this mess
so you go to the wedding and it's WILD: there's some sort of animal riot, every creature is attacking the bride (including the prince's dog), town date redhead is being carried into the wedding ship in a barrel by a small fish, you're like 'I need to see how this turns out' and then mystery redhead, who was supposedly unable to talk, starts singing???? and talking??? and they're about to kiss???? but then the bride turns into sexy cthulhu???? and the redhead grows a fish tail???? and sexy cthulhu bride drags redhead into the water??????
you are taken ashore while the groom goes to fetch one of the brides, unsure which but all signs point to the redhead that was carried in the barrel, and then there's a storm, and sexy cthulhu becomes gigantic and is wearing a crown and you're like 'work, bitch' while eating snacks and then it's all over and sexy cthulhu disappears
but then there's another wedding announced and you're like 'I'm sure it can't top the first one' but you attend and TRITON shows up too????? myth and legend lord of the sea king triton from the stories????? with a white beard and an 8 pack and the same crown sexy cthulhu was wearing??? turns out he's the FATHER OF THE BRIDE??????? and there are mermaids everywhere, all around the ship, kind of unnerving tbh really really scary situation, but it's fine because triton is making rainbows in the sky and hugging the bride and manipulating water and you're also pretty sure the chef just got decimated by a crab?????
royal weddings should all be like these tbh this prince sure knows how to throw them like nobody else in the disney pantheon
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rae-conteur · 1 day ago
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Cashmere Cape, ca. 1912
Reville & Rossiter Ltd.
via Vintage Martini
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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Albino CAPY!!!
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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real vs fake gym bros, the real ones want you to get better
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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Yuri On Ice implies the existence of Yaoi On Fire and it’s just an anime about lesbians who are into competitive barbecue.
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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shoutout to everyone dealing with. thhe fucking difficulty
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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If you like the word “queer” reblog.
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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i kind of feel like if you take "don't bomb iran" as an endorsement of the iranian government, you're not intellectually ready to engage in conversations about real-world politics. Go talk about steven's universe instead
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rae-conteur · 2 days ago
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the thing that sucks is that people love saying sleep early is good etc etc and yeah it is. I've seen some benefits before. but I think it sucks to ignore that late night is the only time with any freedom. I think it sucks to not acknowledge the dread in waking up and it's a work day again
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rae-conteur · 3 days ago
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do u ever remember all the horrible offensve things u said when u were like 15 and u literally feel ur soul detach and turn 2 dust 
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rae-conteur · 3 days ago
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rae-conteur · 3 days ago
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rae-conteur · 3 days ago
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reblog game put in the tags how you found prev
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