rafaelthemoth

[rafaelthemoth]

Blog 2.

So the friend who hosted the party in my dream from my last blog's boyfriend is bow her ex. I don't know how to feal about it, i feel bad for her but he was't a good boyfriend, he was quite awfull tbh, so i am a little glad.

I know its wrong and i feel bad about it, but she deserved better than that pedo manipulating gatekeeping mf'er. Since i dreamt about her and something to do with an ex the night before last night i might be an Oracle, lord i hope not

[rafaelthemoth]

1e official blog (yay),

I have't slep well past week. I always used to have simulair dreams, but recently it started to return, wors than ever. I keep dreaming about a apocalips, an end of life as i know it and sometimes that of those i care dor or all of humanity. Don't know y it keeps happening, i don't want the world to end nor do i have an obsesion with the apocalips, if i have been holding on for so long and the world would end, making everything for nothing, i would be verry upset. This night was different tho. First of all, i hit my alarmclock of the shelf above my head, what is quite the feat cause its pretty high up, but this is the second night in a row i knoked it of and it landing on my head so i shoud probably do something about it. I also dreamt i went to a store where they sold everything, including warhammer models, witch i do colect (ksons to be precise). The details don't matter of what was in the shop, but als i entered the shop it went from almost empty to extremely bussy. I remember it slowly getting louder and louder, untill i could barely hear at all, what is odd because i normaly don't hear sounds in my dream, the speech of people always sound like a thought in my head. I remember a famaly member, eighter my sister, mother or father calling for me to get in line before it would get to long because of how bussy it was. I don't know if i wanted to buy something but i do know i made some smal talk with a old man in line. I woke up because i was cold and my blanket fel of my bed. I put it back and dreamt again. I was in a strange, verry large building. It was like a mansion or a theater. A friend of mine was giving a party, and me als a lot of other folks where around the table, including some fictional caracters, coleages, famillie and other friends. I woke up because a clock droped on my head, and afrer i put it back on the shelf i returned to my dream. It was the same exept my ex was setting to my left. The friend who gave te party apolagised for her being there and i said i did't mind beacause i did't want to make a hasle. I spoke nice and calm to my ex afterwards, i normaly don't see faces in my dreams but hers was clear as day and her voice was her real voice, what is verry odd. I don't know what she said, but i wanted to be away from her so i got up and left for a walk. I woke up.

I'll talk about her in a later blog, but if anyone wil ever read this and is intrested, its but 2,5 months since were not together anymore, and it bugs me a lot. I miss her, and i wish i could just forget her, but that would be a dusservice to the good times we had. She was my first ever gf, but if all heartbreaks are like this i might be fucked.

Thisik getting to long and sad, and its late, but i want this to be a catalogus of my mind so its gonna be a lot of trauma dumping. If anyone reads this, leave a little comment, just '18' will do so i know someone is reading this :)

Ill try some tags, but i dont need a lot of people to read my awfull english so ill see.

Stay safe, ill try to stay alive, and i hope you wil to, byeeeeeeeee

[rafaelthemoth]

Only heard about tumblr as a hellscape, but while i was listening to the red tread's latest episode about Elisa Lam, i heard she use her blog to talk about her life and stuf, and i thought it might help for me to do the same. I don't know if i'll forget to post, or the existence of this blog, but if so don't asume i am dead :)